Author's note: This is an experimental fic. I read a particularly yummy RenjiHime fic the other day that inspired me to write this. The beginning is a lot angstier than I expected it to be, but I think I like it so far. Review please, even if you don't like it. Flames will not be tolerated, though.

Title is taken from the Alanis Morissette song of the same name.

Oh yeah, I don't own Bleach or its characters. (Or Alanis Morissette's songs.)

*Update* So I took Kimsi Ki-Lurria's advice and merged chapter 1 and chapter 2. I also revised my other two chapters, but only slightly. To those of you who've already red thus far, please re-read, and re-review if you'd like.

"Ku… Kurosaki-kun?" Her timid voice wavered as she swallowed past the growing lump in her throat. No. No, it couldn't be. She refused to believe it. The words coming out of Urahara's mouth right now couldn't be real. They had to be fake. That was it! This was all some sort of practical joke. After all they'd been through, all the enemies they'd fought, there was no way. There was just no way Ichigo was…

"… Dead. I'm so sorry, Inoue-san."

"N-no…" Her pupils dilated, and she felt her pulse quicken with fear.

"I'm so sorry." Urahara echoed, reaching out a comforting hand to grasp her shoulder with. Orihime shrunk under his advance, slowly backing herself against the wall. Her mind was spinning, and she had trouble comprehending everything. The entire universe made no sense to her at the moment. This had to be a dream. No, a nightmare. She pinched her thigh, and it hurt. Squeezing the flesh harder, she winced under her own self-torture. Her face began to grow hot.

"There has to be s-something… I could… Maybe if I…" Each sentence drifted off with the threat of oncoming tears. As she tentatively touched one of her hair pins, Orihime frantically searched Urahara's soft, sympathetic expression for an answer. He shook his head. "Could I at least…?"

"Yes." He replied softly. Even though her sentence remained unfinished, Urahara understood. Orihime didn't shy away this time, as Urahara slid an arm around her shoulders and guided her tenderly towards the shop's back room.

The scene that appeared before Orihime seemed almost unreal to her. Ichigo's cold, lifeless body was laid out on a bedroll in the middle of the room. His bankai-style robes that clad him were shredded and blood-stained, and Zangetsu was neatly placed next to him. But the most horrifying of all was his face, which Orihime could barely bring herself to look at. The cracked, brittle hollow's mask had broken away from one half of his face, and his wide black eyes were rolled back in his head. His mouth was contorted into something between a grimace and a sneer.

Renji and Rukia sat on the far side of his body, still in their Shinigami forms. They both looked tired, battered, and like they had been crying. Renji rose as their auburn-haired friend entered the room.

"Orihime…" Rukia half-whispered, but Orihime paid no heed. She kneeled by the body's side, frantically trying to wipe away the tears that started to flow of their own accord. Giving up, she collapsed on to the deceased Ichigo's chest, and her body heaved and shuddered as she sobbed audibly.

"Maybe I… maybe there's hope." Orihime sniffled loudly, and sat up. She summoned forth her Shun Shun Rika, and a glowing shield formed over the body. "Please, Kurosaki-kun… please…" After a few minutes of silence, save for the whimpering of Orihime pleading with herself, the shield dissipated. There was no change in the body. Shun'o flew up to Orihime's face, worry evident in her petite expression.

"I'm sorry, 'Hime, there's nothing we can do." The tiny spirit apologized. "The hollow completely took over his body." She shook her head, and then returned with Ayame to their places on the hair pins.

"He just wasn't strong enough," Renji mused solemnly. "Kariya was too powerful. Ichigo's hollow took over, causing him to freeze up. Kariya took the opportunity and killed him, right before he took his own life." He brought his hand to his face, covering his eyes.

"At least… at least the Bounts will no longer be a threat." Rukia suggested pointedly, trying to lighten the mood.

"But… at what cost?" Orihime started to rise to her feet, stumbling slightly. She wiped the dampness from her cheeks as she stood, but to no avail. Her wet eyes continued to overflow. "Kurosaki-kun… he was my friend. I… I…" Even in this brutal moment of truth, she couldn't bring herself to say it. She couldn't even admit her true feelings for her former classmate. She was afraid. The fear of finding out whether or not Rukia shared her feelings for the rogue Shinigami overcame her. At least she would never find out which of them Ichigo preferred; Orihime was sure it was Rukia, anyway. At this very moment, she felt a surge of hatred and remorse for Rukia. She was the reason for all of this. She was the reason that Ichigo was dead. If she had never come from Soul Society…

"Orihime, I-" Rukia started. Orihime began to back away, staring with disbelief at the female Shinigami. The one who inadvertently took the life from the promising boy now laying lifeless before her. "Orihime, please…" Rukia pleaded, advancing. Before she could say anything else, Orihime turned and fled the room. "Orihime!"

Rukia attempted to pursue her friend, but by the time she got to the front of the shop, Orihime was gone. Defeated, Rukia slumped against the door frame, sighing dejectedly.

After searching nearly all day – in their gigai none the less – Rukia and Renji finally happened upon Orihime by the river's edge. She sat idly picking at the grass, lost in her own melancholy thoughts. Rukia smoothed her yellow dress and began to head towards her friend, but Renji caught her arm.

"Maybe ya better stay back." He suggested quietly, recalling the fire in Orihime's eyes earlier as she'd stared Rukia down. He knew her reasons. Renji was more perceptive than most of Soul Society assumed he was.

"Don't be an idiot, Renji." Rukia spat back, wrenching her arm from Renji's loose grasp. "She's my friend, and it's my duty to comfort her, after all we've been through."

"Yeah," He scratched thoughtfully at the back of his head. "Somehow, I just don't think she… well, ya know." Renji looked at his sneaker as he scuffed it into the pavement. He could bicker and argue with Rukia all day, but when it came to serious stuff, he found it harder to talk to her. "I just get the impression she ain't feeling too friendly towards ya right now, ya know?"

"What do you know?" Rukia frowned hurtly. "I'm pretty sure she—" She turned with intentions on rushing to Orihime's emotional aid, but Renji stepped in front of her.

"Rukia." He placed his hands on her lithe shoulders, looking her square in the face. "Just trust me on this one, 'kay?" Rukia softened. She really didn't have the heart to argue with Renji right now, and she could sense the determination in his reiatsu.

"Okay, Renji." Rukia sighed, averting her eyes. "I'll take your word for it." She paused, and added with a smirk, "Even if I do think you're too stupid to handle female emotions." Though it was meant to be a harmless jibe, a sibling-like crack, the comment stung Renji. Sure, he was pretty oblivious sometimes, pretty brash most of the time, and could never get the hang of kidou, but did that really make him stupid?

And coming from Rukia, it made the stab to his heart all the more personal.

"Anyway, I'll see you at the shop later." Rukia called over her shoulder, flashing a quick smile as she jogged off in the general direction of Urahara's.

"Yeah, later." Renji echoed, waving slightly at Rukia. He glanced over towards where Orihime sat, and let out a breath he hadn't realized he was holding. The setting sun illuminated her long tresses in a warm glow, and the wind picked up, making her locks dance and swirl about her.

Her hair looks like fire, Renji thought to himself with a slight smile. He shoved his hands in his jeans pockets and shuffled over to Orihime, approaching her delicately.

"Hey," He greeted quietly. Orihime seemed rather surprised to see him, but quickly averted her gaze back to the river.

"Hi, Abarai-kun." She echoed.

"Mind if I sit with ya?" He smiled slightly. Orihime returned a dry gaze to him for a moment, before closing her eyes and shaking her head.

"No, not at all. I don't mind." Her eyes lowered as she picked a blade of grass and twirled it between her fingers.

Renji promptly plopped himself down on the grass, with his legs stretched out in front of him as he leaned back on his hands. Orihime pulled her knees to her chest, and a few blades of grass fell from the lap of her ruffled bohemian-style skirt.

"Just call me Renji." He said nonchalantly, gazing over the water's rippling surface, and trying to see whatever it was Orihime was looking at.

"Okay, Renji-kun." She murmured back, resting her chin on her knees. He opened his mouth to respond, but then thought better about fussing over formalities. There was a long, awkward pause. It may have only been a few seconds, but to Renji, it felt like an eternity.

"So uh," He cleared his throat, breaking the silence. "It's kinda crazy, huh? Ya know, that he's really gone." Orihime sighed loudly, and the breathy sound rattled Renji's spine. He instantly regretted bringing up the subject. Maybe Rukia was right, maybe he was stupid. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said…"

"Renji-kun?" She asked timidly.

"Huh? What is it?"

"Um," She picked at a thread on her skirt. "Where do Shinigami go after they die?"

Renji thought for a moment. Truth be told, he wasn't exactly sure himself. They weren't reborn as souls or hollows, he knew that much. They might be reborn as humans, or their spirit particles just may disperse into the universe. He had never really thought about it before, nor had he ever wondered to any of his superiors about it.

"Ya know, I really don't know." He replied thoughtfully, pulling himself back up to a sitting position and crossing his legs.

"Oh."

Silence enveloped them once again, broken only by the sound of distant cars and the few children across the river laughing and yelling on their way home. By now, the sun barely peeked over the horizon.

"It's gonna be strange." Renji mused thoughtfully. "Who am I gonna argue with now?" He cast a goofy grin at Orihime, whose own lips curled into a slight smile at the thought of the heated bicker-fests Ichigo used to get into with Renji. It was always over something stupid.

"Well, there's always Rukia." Orihime suggested. "She seems to enjoy bickering with you, also."

Rukia. Renji huffed, blowing from his face a few strands of crimson hair that had loosed themselves from his ponytail. "I dunno." The smile faded from his face, and it was his turn to avert his gaze from her imploring one. "It's just… it's a complicated situation." He quickly changed the subject. "I know how you felt about Ichigo."

"W-wha…?" Orihime's eyes grew wide.

"He was a lucky guy, havin' you around an all. You're a really great person, Orihime. He was an idiot for not seeing that." Renji took a deep breath, nervously adjusting his headband. "Look, all I'm sayin' is that I know how it feels to have feelings for someone who doesn't return them."

Orihime gazed at Renji admiringly. Up until this point, she never realized that someone like him was capable of deep emotion. Like most of the men in Soul Society, she assumed he was loud, enjoyed alcohol, sometimes entertaining, and all around pretty two-dimensional.

"R-Renji-kun…"

"Aw, c'mon. Stop starin' at me like that." Renji reached over and circled an arm around Orihime's shoulder, pulling her in to a sideways hug. The gesture effectively broke the increasing tension, and for that, Renji was thankful. "It's gettin' late," He observed, "Can I at least walk ya home?"

Orihime rose to her feet, dusting off her skirt and smoothing the hem of her t-shirt. Renji followed suit, stuffing his hands into his pockets.

"I would appreciate that, Renji-kun." She replied with a small smile.