First,

An Introduction

Is there any good way to explain the madness that is about to befall you? Probably not. However, there is some very small comfort to be had in the knowledge that what you are about to read is all in good fun, even if it's not all in good taste.

A few short years ago, through the wondrous pipeline of the internet, I heard tell of a marvelous thing. According to legend, once upon a time in the nineties, somebody had attempted to create the strangest sequel I have ever heard of: Beetlejuice Goes Hawaiian.

Being a lifelong Tim Burton fan and a borderline sociopath (clearly, for who else would take this mission upon themselves) I decided right then and there that something had to be done about this seemingly brilliant yet tragically doomed-to-fail idea.

Beetlejuice Goes Hawaiian had a deliberately sleazy ring to it. It had a cobbled-together Frankensteinish charm that pressed all my kooky buttons at once. I had to see this movie. And goddammit, I had to see it so bad that I decided to write it myself.

Little did I realize, this kind of thing requires a lot more time than a full-time art student has to spare, and it took several years, hundreds of internet fans, a miniature dachshund, and a swift kick in the rear to get the task accomplished.

Here, finally, is the beast.

It might be a sorry stand-in for the true blockbuster treatment, but it is, without a shadow of a doubt, a loving and heartfelt tribute to one of Tim Burton's most enduring films.

Here's to Beetlejuice fans everywhere; people so crazy and committed that they still want this sequel after twenty-two unendurable Beetle-free years.

I've tried my damnedest to turn up the juice.

Let's see what shakes loose.