CHAPTER THREE

“Nate! Nate, wake up!” I half whispered half yelled to my brother as I shook him awake. It was early out and I wanted to get out before my parents woke up and trapped me in the house, waiting for Royce. I wanted to see the sunrise. I still didn’t want to go out alone.

“Rose, it’s too early to be awake!” Nate said all too loudly, trying to cover himself with his blanket.

“Quit being a daisy and come with!” I replied, breaking from my whisper.

I heard movement from the bed near us. I turned my head and Tom was looking straight at us, bleary eyed, and whispered, “Would you two close your head please?”

I looked back at Nate and put my hands on my hips. “Look Nate, you woke up Tom!”

“I did not, I—”

“Just get up!”

“Why?” Tom asked.

“I want to see the sunrise!”

I could hear laughter in Nate’s voice. “You mean want to take the run-out so you won’t have to see Royce King!” Nate exclaimed, his voice going an octave higher when he said his name.

I nodded, not bothering to try and hide it. “That too.”

I waited for an answer from both of them. It was silent for a long time. I mostly looked down at Nate since he was the most carefree one of my brothers. His hair was tousled and his clothes were rumpled and his eyes half open; half awake.

And as if they both planned it all along they said, in unison, “No.”

I let them both fall back asleep, heads turned away from me. But just for a while. Then, without warning, I grabbed Nate’s blanket and pulled it away from him.

“Nate!”

“No! And why do you want to go anyways? There hasn’t been a proper sunrise in weeks!”

He had me there. I just didn’t tell him. “I’m not going to stop until you come with me,” I told him, and began to shake him in his sleep.

It didn’t take long—only a couple of seconds before he burst. “Fine!” he grumbled and stood up and stretched, his shirt riding up. He yawned and rubbed his eyes. With his eyes closed he reached around for anything he could wear, not even caring. He put on a simple plaid shirt and wide leg pleated slacks. There was no light and his eyes were still closed.

“Tom, are you coming?” Nate asked when he was done. He grabbed his fedora hanging by the door and waited for a response.

“Breeze off,” he replied, and turned away. I rolled my eyes and dragged Nate to the front door, looking around in case I heard my parents.

Nate laughed and I hit his arm, a sign to be quiet. Nate’s trying hard not to laugh again and I could see him struggling. I almost hated him for it but couldn’t. I wanted the Depression to be over. I didn’t want to worry for him or Tom. I didn’t want them to leave Rochester to try and find a job. But I know he would need too. There was probably one solution to my family’s situation and it was staring at me straight in the face no matter how much I tried to ignore it.

“It’s just, you look like you’re going to be copped out.” Nate started to laugh again and I took in his attire, the one that showed he didn’t care. And I looked at myself, presentable and proper despite only going out to see the sunrise.

I shook my head and headed out the door, running my hand through my still tangled hair. I wanted to leave as soon as possible. My mother told me I should cut my hair, that Royce probably liked girls with short hair like many of the film actresses, but I always refused. Besides, I loved my hair long. I loved the length. My hair had small waves and not the soft curls, and I liked the way it blew against the wind, so beautiful and so soft.

No one would admit it but I knew they were jealous and angry. Angry that they cut their hair to be like everyone else’s and that it wouldn’t be years until it was as long as mine.

As Nate and I headed out the door I stared out to the horizon, happy that the sun still hadn’t come out yet. I wondered how many people were like this at night. How many people lost almost everything and decided to just look at the sunrise. It’s beautiful. My eyes were opened wide in every sense as I breathed in the night.

Nate leads the way out of town and to the flat open field. A part of me wondered if he’d ever done this before. I wanted to ask but didn’t. I had to pull my ankle length dress up so it wouldn’t get caught with the high grass. I neglected a beret because it made my hair flat.

When Nate stopped walking I did too. He stayed facing away from me for a long time before turning his head and smiling. I gave him a look. Then, I gave him a stare.

“Well, I’ll be leaving you to this sunrise you want to see.” His voice was serious and I wondered if he actually meant it. I saw him face me before walking past me and all I could do was stare at him.

Then, he began to laugh. He turned to me and I was still giving him an appalled look that it made him laugh even further.

“Lord, Rose! You should see the look on your face! Of course I’d never leave you alone, or else Mother and Father would have my keister for letting Royce King’s bride get away!” Nate started to laugh and I figured that was all my little brother could do. If he wasn’t eating, breathing or sleeping, he was laughing.

“Close your head Nate! And I’m not going to marry Royce, he’s a rich snob who’s going to give our family money if I accompany him and I will not become... become a hustler!”

“You think you’re going to hustle one’s bustle by accompanying the cat?”

“I am aren’t I?”

“You’re not even going to be pitching woo, so I don’t know what you’re even worried about! Lord, Rose, think of the family. He’s going to give us probably a grand of money—the bird’s the biggest butter and egg man around—if you just take a walk with him! By God I’d kiss the man myself if he gave me a sawbuck!”

I rolled my eyes, pushing my hair behind me.

“I’m saying just talk with him until he gives you some scratch or until this Depression is over. I’m sure when it’s done with he’ll be back on his way and you’ll be back on yours. You savvy?”

I stared at him. “Since when did you get so reasonable?”

He shrugged his shoulders. This time, he didn’t laugh.

And as we waited for the sun we continued to bump gums. I didn’t know how long we were out there and a part of me wondered if the sun would ever come up. We had been sitting on the grass for a while and I didn’t know how much longer I could take it. There were clouds out. It was dark but at the same time wasn’t.

“I don’t think the sun’s going to come out today, Rose.”

“Oh, how wonderful!” I exclaimed, talking to the sky like I was insane.

And Nate began to laugh like I knew he would.

“You know, I think Tom knew this all along…”

“Well, at least I didn’t have Mother waking me early to dress up.”

Nate laughed again.

When we both got back into the streets my legs felt stiff and sore, We probably sat there for hours as we dragged ourselves back. The sun didn’t even rise so it was almost a waste of time. The sky was dark and the buildings around us were almost completely empty. Some people were outside wandering, doing nothing.

“Wait, I don’t want to go back yet,” I told Nate, his back to me. Where Tom would probably ignore my request and keep walking Nate stopped. I was almost stunned and couldn’t think of anything to say. He just looked at me and waited and when I didn’t answer turned back around and continued to walk. I thought he was ignoring my request too but he went to a rock and sat on it. The grass was better but I wasn’t complaining.

Then I started to ask him what he though of Royce. He said he didn’t know the guy but he was rich. I asked him if he thought he was a snob. He said yes, but he was the only thing that could help us. I figured he wasn’t going to tell me not to acknowledge Royce so I soon gave up on trying.

I told him to talk about something else. He started to talk about what him and Tom were up to, which dame he thought was ritzy but knew he wouldn’t ask to marry her or anything because of the Depression. I listened on but my eyes wandered.

At one point we both got up and were heading back home. I couldn’t avoid it. Whenever we passed by people they always turned to look at us. My hair blew against the soft wind, away from me, waves of gold sent tumbling behind me. There were always eyes on us—on me. I looked away and smiled. I liked the attention. If only Royce was like them, looking but not touching, observing but not speaking. Except he wasn’t like that and now I had to endure.

I recognized most of the faces. My father or brothers knew them and sometimes I saw them around too. Whenever I saw someone I didn’t remember seeing they still turned my way.

Eventually I stopped glancing at people who stared at me and just looked straight ahead, Nate still sometimes talking to me. I answered without much thought, my head empty.

Nate was staring at me and I was staring at him that we didn’t exactly watch where we were going as we talked. And as he doubled over with laughter he ran into someone and almost fell over.

“Nate, watch it!” I exclaimed.

Nate picked himself back up and before he could apologize the man was already walking away. I stared after him. He hadn’t turned.

“Sorry!” Nate yelled after him and the man raised a hand.

Normally I didn’t care—and wouldn’t have cared—except he didn’t even look at me. His eyes had been on the ground and glanced briefly at Nate. Not even a peek at the girl with blond hair. I saw the top of his head and the side of his jaw and part of his face but his eyes never roamed. I frowned.

“It’s all right Rose, he didn’t hurt me.”

I looked down at him and realized what he thought what I was thinking. I took the frown off my face and stared after the man. He stopped just ahead of us and was talking to someone. It was an older man with blond hair. He turned to me. I looked at Nate. The other one still hadn’t.

Nate soon figured out what I was really thinking.

“Oh I get it… he didn’t look at you!”

“It’s not that!”

“Sure it isn’t. Come on, we have to get back or else Mother will have my keister, whether you’re dead or alive. I still can’t believe you convinced me to come out here.”

Nate continued to talk, and I continued to stare at that boy. Soon we began to walk, getting closer to them. I didn’t stop staring. I could see both their profiles and every so often the blond one would look up and I’d glare at him and he’d quickly look away. The other never once moved. It was like he was a statue.

I didn’t stop staring as we got closer and wondered why he wasn’t looking at me. Everyone would turn their head towards me, but he didn’t move an inch. I felt a certain kind of fear in me. There was something about him—in how quiet he was, how he wouldn’t turn my way, Not even a glance. Not even an eye shift. He was just staring right ahead of him, and I could see his eyes trained on the man in front of him, his mouth moving quickly that it looked like it wasn’t moving at all.

He looked angry. I didn’t know at what and I didn’t think I wanted to know. It couldn’t be because of Nate. I turned to check on Nate and when I looked back it looked like both of them were further away. Or I was crazy. I almost felt like taking a few steps back to distance myself from them. I didn’t know why.

It wasn’t because of how he looked. He was handsome—better than that blond man that accompanied him. Better than all the boys that even turned their head at my way. Better than Royce’s money. Better than Royce King himself. He was still not looking at me.

From where I was standing I could tell he was tall. Taller than me, the girl who’s usually taller than everyone around her. His hair was bronze and I wanted to touch it. I waited for him to speak, to look at me, to move, but he didn’t.

He was wearing suspenders and he had a rough appearance. He looked like a carpenter. He didn’t look like he made a lot of money but somehow still managed. He was wearing boots and his pants were dusty and torn.

My train of thought was cut off when I heard Nate calling me. “Hey! Rosalie!”

He was already heading in a different direction, the way to get home. He had turned when I hadn’t noticed and had just checked to see if I was behind him. I wasn’t.

I turned and walked towards him, trying to reach him. When I got close enough I turned one last time behind me and both of the men were gone.

“Rosalie!” Nate was snapping his finger in front of my face. I turned.

“What?”

“By God, if only you could stare at that like Royce, maybe he’d give you ten grand!”

I gave him a look. “Close your head.”

“You’ve been saying that all day.”

“And I mean it.”