CHAPTER FOUR

When Nate and I got back home he immediately went to his room—probably wanting to avoid the wrath of our mother. I figured it’d be better late than never too.

And just as I predicted, she came at me like an earthquake.

“Rose, my dear! Where have you been? Did you see Royce? He came by and I wanted to get you, but you weren’t here! Thomas told me what you did! How could you? Now you didn’t get to see Royce! Oh, but he did give you some flowers. Roses! How could he have afforded roses? Where could he have even got them from? No matter, he also left you a note that asked you to take a romantic walk and I know just what you’re going to wear!” She spoke without taking a breath, making it impossible for me to answer any of her questions. But when she was done she stared at me expectantly. I frowned. She pretended not to notice.

“Well, what do you have to say?”

I mustered a small smile and let out an airy laugh. “Great,” I replied unenthusiastically. I knew my mother heard it, but she ignored it. She grabbed my hand and led me to the living room where my father was and on the table was a bouquet of roses.

When my mother let go of my hand I went towards the flowers. Along with the note asking me to take a walk together, there was a second note that said ‘Roses for a Rose’. I scoffed.

“Now listen to me girlie, you will take a liking to Mr. King. He’s been nothing but nice and he could help our family in our time of need. Don’t be selfish and ignore him. You may not love him now, but you will sooner or later. Why, he has all the qualities of a fine gentlemen! Don’t tell me you want to marry some… some carpenter!” My mother’s entire demeanour changed suddenly, turning to absolute disgust. Normally I would’ve thought about Vera’s husband, but instead, I thought about him—the bronze-haired man on the street when I was walking home. He looked like a carpenter, and to me, it wouldn’t have mattered. And suddenly I got defensive.

“So what if I like a carpenter? They could be a perfectly fine gentleman too. Just because… just because they aren’t as wealthy as Royce doesn’t make them horrible people. You sound as if they’re monsters.”

My mother gave me a shifted look. “Someone with your beauty deserves someone of quality. Someone to live up to our name. You’re our family’s last hope. If you want to marry some carpenter off the street who will only be one more mouth to feed compared to a wealthy man who will make the rest of your life easy, then go ahead! Leave you’re family behind and only care about yourself if that’s what you want!” My mother started to yell. I looked at my father. He hadn’t once lifted his head from his book. But I knew he was listening. He always listened.

“I hate Royce King, and I will not marry him because you want me to,” I seethed and left the room.

I stayed in my room for most of the day after that, staring at the ceiling and wistfully thinking. Every hour or so I’d hear a knock on the door. The first time there was a knock my mother had answered it and exclaimed that Royce was here—loud enough for me to hear. I still didn’t come down. He had dropped off more roses. I wanted to throw them at him.

He’d come back every hour after that and my mother assured I’d be going on that walk with him. I didn’t protest. I didn’t care.

At about his sixth trip that evening I heard low murmurs before my mother’s feet coming closer. She came into my room without warning, telling—no demanding, me to get into a nice dress.

“Oh, it’s going to be absolutely perfect! He is quite the romantic. He wants to take you on a nice walk, and he even brought you more flowers! I told him we didn’t have a lot of dresses for you and he offered to get you some! Not one, but some!”

“Sounds like a nance,” I mumbled. I hoped my mother heard me. I gave her a quick look and knew she did.

“Close your head on such thoughts, Rosalie. I will not have you be disrespectable to Mr. King. If he asks you to marry you today or tomorrow, you will say yes,” she whispered harshly to me as to make sure no one could hear of her plan.

I gave her a small sardonic smile. “Because he’s rich, right?”

“Oh, my dear, at first his wealth impressed me but he also seems to be the perfect gentlemen, do you not agree?” I opened my mouth to answer and she interrupted me, knowing of what I was going to say. “Now, what is it you’re wearing?”

“Why do you want me to change? It’s just a walk!”

My mother looked absolutely appalled. “Who’s been feeding you such thoughts Rose? A woman must always look her best—Lord, he could waltz in any moment so you must always look ready! You’re a fine looker Rosalie, and you must show it off.” She went into my closet and pulled out a dress for me to wear. “Now hurry, a woman must never keep a man waiting!”

She left the room and I stared down at the dress. I sat on my bed and took deep breaths. My fingers curled against the fabric of the dress and my hands felt cold. My eyes were tired. My head hurt. I wanted to sleep.

I stayed sitting there before I heard my mother again, and quickly slipped into the dress. I stood behind the door, as if waiting for someone to come in harshly and knock me over so I didn’t have to go. No one came. I didn’t think they would.

Taking a deep breath I went into the living room and was greeted with the sight of my mother and Royce. If my mother wasn’t married I bet she would have been trying to catch Royce, and knowing her, I bet she could.

Upon seeing me, Royce’s eyes lit up and I stopped myself from rolling mine. He walked over to me and from over his should I could see my mother practically glaring at me, so I gave Royce the most convincing smile I could. I didn’t know whether it was convincing or not, but my mother looked away as if pleased.

“You look lovely Rosalie.”

“As do you, Royce.” My mother turned sharply at me, probably for mentioning him by his first name, but I didn’t care. I stopped caring a long time ago.

My mother rushed us out of the house once we had a casual greeting. We walked in silence away from my house, and I just knew my mother was peeking through the curtains. I wanted to look back and catch her. But something told me she wouldn’t have turned in embarrassment. She would’ve been glaring at me.

Royce didn’t start with a conversation and neither did I. I stared at my hands a lot. They were dry. I should’ve washed them. Too late for that. I bit my lip and faintly tasted blood. It was probably just my imagination.

“Rosalie…” he started and I sighed. I didn’t have a spine. I didn’t tell him I didn’t like him and never wanted to see him again. I had never threatened to bump him off like all the times I thought. But it wasn’t as if I was in love with the gink, I knew that much. I just had to help Tom and Nate. I was confused. I was lost. I was lost and confused. I sighed again. He noticed.

“Rosalie…” he said again and I told him to stop. My name coming from his lips was just too much. It was soft, but masculine at the same time. I looked at him and his eyes are staring right through me. I couldn’t look away. They were absolutely piercing. He looked worried, he really did look worried. He grabbed onto one of my hands and I immediately recoiled. He didn’t try again. He didn’t look down at our hands and I began to wonder if he never touched me at all. He waited for me to say something, to do anything. Since when was he so… kind?

I turned away from him and wanted to go home. I didn’t like Royce. I never did. I shouldn’t. I started to laugh. “Why are you so interested in me Royce?”

Then he began to laugh. “You don’t waste time, do you Miss?”

And he was polite!

“No, I don’t,” I answered, looking directly at him, impatient.

He laughed again. It came from his throat and seemed slightly contagious. I bit my lip to stop the small smile from appearing on my lips. He was a beautiful creature. A beautiful creature I hated.

“Well, other than your… gams, you’re quite beautiful.” He wouldn’t stop looking at me as he said the words. His eyes looked forlorn and fiery at the same time. Passionate. I frowned. It was all just common words from a common man looking for a girl. He noticed. “But I can see you’re not that interested yet you hardly know me. Is it my money?”

I may have not liked him for how rich he was, but when it came down to it, I really did not care. My mother may have pushed me to try and marry rich, but without her influence… I didn’t hate him.

“No.”

“Am I ugly?”

I shook my head. I wish I hadn’t because his next question truly stumped me.

“Then what is it?”

What was it? I made no noise and didn’t move my eyes. I just stood there thinking. I could be standing there for the rest of my life and not give a proper reason. Because truthfully, I didn’t have one. I knew that and I didn’t even bother to think of an excuse. I had none. I didn’t hate him.

Instead, I said, “I’m just not interested.” I said every word slowly, not even believing myself.

“Can I try and change that Miss?”

I wanted to say no, but his words were so simple and curious and straight to the point and he probably would’ve taken no for an answer and back off like the perfect gentleman he was. He probably would’ve apologized for meddling into my life and end it with a Miss and a slight bow of his head and a tip of his fedora. He probably would’ve gave a small smile and try to brush it off. He probably would’ve still visited to try and subtly get my attention all the while being a perfect gentleman about it. He wouldn’t stop trying. I had to give that to him, he was ambitious.

But I didn’t say no. Instead, I turned and began to walk again and he followed close behind. I could feel the smile on his face beside me.

I still didn’t know why I had done it. He was handsome. He had nice hair. He was always smiling. And if it wasn’t on his lips it was in his eyes. He was happy. He seemed happy to be happy to me.

My mother said I deserved the best, and I did. Royce was of quality and having me alongside him would only glorify me. I was already stunning, I knew that. And with all the money he owned I could live an easier life during and after the Depression. And he seemed nice enough. And, and, and… the list went on. Vera’s husband was nice and he loved her. Maybe he could love me too. Maybe I could have what Vera had.

I didn’t know how long I was going to live. No one knew. The Depression took over everyone. I didn’t want to die alone. And maybe it was easier to love and to lose than to never have loved at all. Could I risk it? My own happiness was on the line. If I let Royce pursue me I could probably feel what Vera had felt when her husband courted her.

I just didn’t want to die alone.

Someone of my splendour wasn’t meant to die alone.