|Hiding In The Lingerie Department
Author: ink-stained-rose PM
ONE-SHOT! Ten years after they've left Forks the Cullens are in Seattle Mall. But...they haven't counted on their friends from high-school being there! Can they hide and protect thir secret?Rated: Fiction K+ - English - Humor/Drama - Words: 1,738 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 13 - Follows: 2 - Published: 12-01-08 - Status: Complete - id: 4689429
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
"-and look! There's a new Fendi shop! That wasn't there before and..."
Jasper sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "Alice. Can you breathe in for me?"
Alice pouted. "But-"
"Just do it," Jasper grimaced. Alice breathed in and out exaggeratedly while Jasper massaged her shoulders.
"Now, honey, calm down." Jasper smiled ruefully at Edward, Nessie and I.
Alice rolled her neck and closed her eyes.
"There we go," Jasper said, looking rather pleased with himself.
Alice breathed in and out once more then opened her eyes. Suddenly, she jarred upright and her eyes nearly popped out of her head.
"Ohmygoshohmygoshohmygosh! There's a Marc Jacobs outlet! This is soooo much better than the last time we were here and…" Alice prattled on excitedly as she skipped up to the gleaming, über-modern shop front that was oozing designer labels. The bright chrome and shiny retro white shelves caught the light and shimmered invitingly; especially to Alice, who was pulled towards it like a moth to a floodlight.
"Where are Uncle Em and Auntie Rosalie?" Nessie asked tugging my sleeve. I smiled down at her and tried not to double take again. Alice had put on some 'enhancing' makeup and curled her long hair; I've never seen my baby look so luminous or beautiful. My baby...that looked like my sister or best friend…my beautiful baby…
"Speak of the devil..." Edward murmured pulling me closer against his side.
Rosalie and Emmett came in through the automatic doors, looking rather more dishevelled than when they had disappeared.
Nessie laughed and I couldn't help but revel in the sound.
"I guess I'm too young to know," she snickered as Rosalie adjusted the bottom of her skirt.
"Where's Alice?" Rosalie asked as they reached the three of us standing just inside the entrance, the hugely garish 'Welcome to Seattle's Biggest Mall!' sign overhead.
"Nooooo! You can't do this to me! Nooooo!" Alice screeched and thrashed as Jasper tried to wrestle her away from her position in front of the Marc Jacobs shop.
"I'm hungry," Nessie announced as Alice and Jasper came into ten meters of us.
"Food Court is…this way," Emmett pointed up the escalator. Edward pulled me against his side as we ascended to the second floor.
"Ugh!" Rosalie scoffed as we passed a Subway. "That stuff smells disgusting."
"Ooh!" exclaimed Emmett. "If you buy a Happy Meal, you get a free 'Madagascar 2' toy!"
Edward and I smirked as Rosalie smacked his bicep, the sound like two rocks crashing together rung in out ears.
"Ow," he complained, rubbing his upper arm. "What was that for?"
"Emmett," snarled Rose, her voice dangerously low. "You don't eat."
"But I like Madagascar! The penguins are awesome!"
A few gothic-girl teens passed us, snickering. The smirks soon melted off their faces and were replaced by dreamy looks as they saw Emmett. Beside me, Edward cringed at their thoughts.
"Is it that bad, sweetie?" I soothed.
"I swear it's like incest how vivid their thoughts are!" Edward sighed as Nessie stepped forward and touched Emmett's arm.
"Uncle Em, if you want I'll get a Happy Meal and you can have my free toy."
"Really, You'd do that for me?"
Emmett grinned at he like she'd just given him the deeds to Madagascar 2 and started dragging Nessie towards the McDonalds booth while the five of us slid into a large table.
Edward's head shot up and he pulled me into his lap and started kissing along my jaw.
"Edward?" I murmured as the rest of my family sniggered.
"Father- um…Edward what are you doing?" Nessie's voice interrupted as she approached, Edward and I slid onto the seat beside him.
"Not that I protest, but what was that for?" I said trying to straighten my hair, Alice sighed theatrically and reached over to pat it into place. I smiled in thanks.
"They were…thinking about you, love," he said pained, looking pointedly at a group of six or seven 'skater dudes', all about twenty.
We all burst out into loud laughter and Nessie stuffed her fries into her mouth quickly and gulped down some Coke.
"We're getting out of here." she mumbled as she finished off.
We all started getting up when Alice stiffened.
"What? Marc Jacobs closing for lunch break?" I teased her.
Alice's eyes snapped back into focus and she hissed in frustration.
"Some people we know have just entered the mall. We need to leave."
"The Volturi are here?" Emmett asked confused. "But all they wear is black cloaks."
Alice was already up and pulling us towards the escalator. "No! Mike Newton, Jessica Stanley, Angela Weber, Ben Cheney, Lauren Mallory…all the guys from Forks!"
"They're still hanging out with each other. Ten years later?" Rosalie asked in confusion.
"That's not the point!" gasped Alice. "Won't they notice that we haven't aged in ten fricking years?!"
"Oh." I breathed. We half ran down the escalator, with Nessie still holding her plastic Coke cup. Leaning over the side she tossed it casually, it soared through the air, and, without spilling a drop, landed neatly in a bin. It was an inhumanly good throw for over ten meters, but it wasn't like we cared now.
We jogged lightly, not wanting to attract more attention by sprinting through a designer label filled mall. We couldn't afford to be arrested now because they thought we'd stolen something.
Suddenly I spotted someone very familiar.
His face still childish for someone nearing thirty, Mike Newton stood up ahead with a tiny woman with wildly frizzy hair. Jessica.
"Spilt up!" Emmett yelled dramatically and we all forked off, all running into different shops.
Alice grabbed me, and I grabbed Nessie who grabbed Rosalie and we all tumbled into the Fendi shop. Coincidence? I think not.
The guys headed into some other shop that I didn't spot as we all started to laugh, causing the shop assistant to look strangely at us. His baffled expression quickly melted into a dreamy, dazzled smile.
Well, we couldn't help it.
"Spilt up!" screeched Emmett and he pulled Jasper and I into the nearest shop.
"Spilt up, Emmett?" mocked Jasper.
"Yes!" he beamed. "Now all I have to say on my list of 'Awesome-Movie-Quotes' is 'Follow that man!'"
I laughed then saw what shop Emmett had chosen.
"Really, Emmett, you expect the girls to believe that we picked 'La Senza' by accident?" I sighed at his predictability.
"It was an accident!" he protested.
"And Rose is gonna believe that!"
"Well she trusts me, she-"
"Excuse me, gentlemen, can I help you?" A tall, artificial looking shop assistant smiled, in what she seemed to think seductive way, as she sauntered toward us, swinging one of those lacy, thong things on one finger.
God, please help save me from all women, especially Bella, tonight,
Much appreciated/ amen
"Are they gone?" Nessie hissed, peering over my shoulder.
"I think so..." murmured Alice. She shook herself roughly and took a step back from where the four of us where pressed up against the shop window. "Let's make a run for it. But first…You!" she pointed at the male shop assistant. "Just put all of these on this." She handed him gold credit card and turned to us.
"Grab everything ladies and give it to that nice man. Then let's get out of here!"
Ring, ring, ring.
I flipped open my mobile and smiled when I heard Bella.
"Edward, we're in the car. Try and get out here, without being seen!"
"Okay, love. See you soon."
I slipped the phone back into my pocket and turned to my brothers.
"Guys, the girls are in the car which means that we have a clear run so-…Jasper, where's Emmett?"
He jerked his chin towards the back of the store where I could see Emmett at the till with a lot of lacy stuff.
"-yes, I know!" I can't believe he said that!
Oh dear. I know both that voice and those thoughts.
Jessica Stanley and Lauren Mallory, both looking rather rough and old for their late twenties, came in the door.
I pulled Jasper behind a pyjama display and watched as their eyes widened as they spotted Emmett walking towards them. Jasper and I slunk out of the door and looked through the window.
"Is that…?" .gosh!
"It couldn't be…" look at all that lace!
"Emmett Cullen is that you?" He doesn't look any older.
"Uh…My name is…Leonardo. I am…italiano. I am not this…Emmett Cullen of which you speak." Emmett put on a fake Italian accent and half ran past the two women.
"Ciao!" he yelled before throwing himself out of the shop door.
Walking quickly, we all made it out of the store before we started to laugh. The yellow Porsche and the BMW convertible were hovering, engines running outside the door with Alice behind the Porsche's wheel and Rose behind the BMW.
I went to get into the Porsche beside Bella.
"Um, could you get in the BMW with Rose and Nessie?" Alice asked. "The backseat is kind of squished."
"Don't be silly, I can fit," I laughed casually as I opened the door and slid in. As soon as I'd closed the door I was pressed up against the window; The whole backseat was filled with bags.
"We found ourselves in Fendi," Bella confessed, looking over at me from the passenger seat.
"Coincidence!" Alice piped up as she pulled out onto the motorway.
I coughed loudly.
"So what shop did you end up in?" Bella asked sweetly.
"Uh, well it's a funny story…"
Did you like it? Okay I know it's kinda mad and Emmett is obsessed with Madgascar 2 but I'm surrounded by mad and highly immature *cough cough* people who are obsessed with animated wild animals so maybe I'm influenced by that...lol
Thanks for reading and please check out my other stories if you have time! Oh yeah and review too!