Just thought of this randomly...I haven't posted a story on here in so long and this is far different then anything I've ever written. Anyway...I hope it gives you a holiday laugh. Oh, and I don't own, so please don't sue.

Twelve days of Christmas (House M.D. style)

House: Well, we all know there are twelve days of Christmas, right? Twelve days of people celebrating, people rejoicing in the wonderfulness of the holidays. Twelve days of Wilson sitting beside eating Chinese food.

Wilson: Don’t bring me into this.

House: Oh, c’mon. You know you like it. Besides, you were complaining this morning that you didn’t get any presents for Christmas.

Wilson: I get plenty, for your information. And just so you know, it’s not that important to me.

House: Riiiiiiiiiight. Anyway, just so you all know that there are twelve days of Christmas, I’m going to tell you about ALLLLLL the things I got this year from my bestest buddy. [whispers] He secretly loves me, and that’s the only reason why I get so many presents.

Wilson: HOUSE!!!

House: Relax. Sit back and enjoy the song. [begins to sing]

“On the first day of Christmas my true lo-,”

Well, I can see the potential conflicts with this song.

Wilson: [groans] House…

House: Let’s try again.

“On the first day of Christmas my bestest friend gave me…”

[clears throat] this song is far too long. I should just name them all off.

Wilson: Whatever will torture me the least, do it.

House: Fine. You are no fun.

[takes hugely, overly dramatic breath]

…

[breathes out through nose]

…

[opens mouth]

…

Well maybe I’ll start from the beginning after all.

Wilson: Ugh…

House:

“On the first day of Christmas my bestest friend gave me: A brand new prescription bottle!

“On the second day of Christmas my bestest friend gave me: Two boring cases and a brand new prescription bottle!

“On the third day of Christmas my bestest friend gave me: Three team members, two boring cases, and a brand new prescription bottle!

“On the fourth day of Christmas my bestest friend gave me: Four monster truck tires, three team members, two boring cases, and a brand new prescription bottle!

“On the fifth day of Christmas my bestest friend gave me: Five visits from Cuddy!!! Four monster truck tires, three team members, two boring cases, and a brand new prescription bottle!

“On the sixth day of Christmas my bestest friend gave me: A six hour nap, five visits from Cuddy, four monster truck tires, three team members, two boring cases, and a brand new prescription bottle!

“On the seventh day of Christmas my bestest friend gave me: Seven stacks of paperwork, a six hour nap, five visits from Cuddy, four monster truck tires, three team members, two boring cases and a brand new prescription bottle!

“On the eight day of Christmas my bestest friend gave me: Eight finished clinic hours, seven stacks of paperwork, a six hour nap, five visits from Cuddy, four monster truck tires, three team members, two boring cases, and a brand new prescription bottle!

“On the ninth day of Christmas my bestest friend gave me: Nine big white pills, eight finished clinic hours, seven stacks of paperwork, a six hour nap, five visits from Cuddy, four monster truck tires, three team members, two boring cases, and a brand new prescription bottle!

“On the tenth day of Christmas my bestest friend gave me: Ten boring lectures, nine big white pills, eight finished clinic hours, seven stacks of paperwork, a six hour nap, five visits from Cuddy, four monster truck tires, three team members, two boring cases, and a brand new prescription bottle!

“On the eleventh day of Christmas my bestest friend gave me: Eleven rock band t-shirts, ten boring lectures, nine big white pills, eight finished clinic hours, seven stacks of paperwork, a six hour nap, five visits from Cuddy, four monster truck tires, three team members, two boring cases, and a brand new prescription bottle!

“On the twelfth day of Christmas my bestest friend gave me: Twelve cherry lolliops, eleven rock band t-shirts, ten boring lectures, nine big white pills, eight finished clinic hours, seven stacks of paperwork, a six hour nap, five visits from Cuddy, four monster truck tires, three team members, two boring cases, and a brand new prescription bottle!”

Wilson: Wow, House, you never cease to amaze me…

House: With my brilliance?

Wilson: I was going to say…ah never mind.

House: What?? What were you going to say?

Wilson: Just that…you’re right…I do love you.

House: [mouth wide open] really??

Wilson: No. Happy Holidays, House.

House: [smirks] Happy Kwanzukah.

Wilson: Good night, House.

House: Good night, Wilson.