Patience

By PseudoHanyou and SalomeSensei

Moment 9

It has plagued him for days. Light seems to have developed a fixation with Ryuzaki's...oral fixation. Every time the detective places something in his mouth: a spoon, a cherry, a pastry. No matter what it is, Light can't seem to keep his eyes off of the way the substance touches his lips and disappears into his mouth. A mouth that he now knows is so warm and wet and.... He shakes his head against his thoughts. No, he won't allow this, especially because it is exactly what L intended. If there is one, true thing he knows about Ryuzaki, it's that he knows how to manipulate someone's mind in order produce an advantageous outcome. This is why he now seems to be doing everything involving his mouth with a deliberate slowness, to the point that it forces Light to stare, no matter the company. L seeks to break him, to cause him to lose whatever composure Light has left and give him what he wants.

"Ryuzaki." He blurts out, his hands balled into fists at his sides as he watches L take exceedingly long to pop a piece of cake into his mouth. "What the hell do you want from me?"

"To capture Kira," he says, scrunching his brow. What kind of question is that? It's all he's ever wanted. The rest is...well...the rest.

Of course he would say that, Light muses. It would be unlike L to actually address the question he is obviously asking. Always games. And this...this outburst is only serving to feed L's need to play with him. Light clicks this tongue against the top of his mouth in annoyance. "You're a bastard," he mumbles, turning his attention away. This conversation obviously isn't going to come to a favorable conclusion. Not while L insists on being an utter child.

"Actually, I don't know whether I am or not," L replies as he contemplates the strawberry or the peach cake. "A bastard, I mean. Probably." He presses a few buttons on his console and brings up a picture of their room, in darkness. He forwards and pauses it and then turns to Light. "Hey, Yagami-kun. Do you want to hear yourself talking in your sleep the other night? You know…that night?" His expression is nearly blank, though there is a sparkle in his wide eyes.

Light's attention shoots to the screen. How many times has L "watched" him sleeping when he was supposedly focusing on the case? Part of him is curious to know what exactly he did in his sleep to draw L's attention. "No, but I'm sure you'll show me anyway." He moves closer to the detective, awaiting the reveal.

"Eh," is L's only response as he clicks over to watch the street outside the building. He chooses the strawberry and pops it between his lips. "Your ejaculate does not taste sweet," he adds, mouth full.

"No..." Light's voice trails off as he contemplates, perhaps for the seventh time that day, smacking Ryuzaki in the head. Of course, he knows where that will lead, and opts against it. This, he decides, will be the last time he allows L to taunt him. To have mentioned their encounter more than once is proof that it's a constant in the detective's mind. He must use that to his advantage, somehow. "I would assume not." He answers blandly, feigning disinterest.

"Still, learning to appreciate new…flavors is part of growing up, wouldn’t you agree, Yagami-kun?" He eats the peach cake and decides to leave the chocolate for later. He watches Chief Yagami enter the building and walk the long hallway to the elevator. "Do you think it is wrong that I enjoyed having you ejaculate in my mouth?" He turns to face his companion. The question is genuine, though L means because Light is Kira, not because enjoying ejaculate makes him homosexual. That is rather beside the point. He doubts Light will understand.

"Given everything that's happened, Ryuzaki, no. I don't think it's 'wrong'." Light moves back to his seat, the proximity of L too close for comfort, given that they're on the subject of ejaculate and his father is in the building, on his way to where they are. "But I will say that if it's due to you thinking that Kira came in your mouth, yes, it's a bit twisted." He stretches in his seat. "Then again, I wouldn't expect anything less from you." It has become clear over the past few days that L is obviously more askew than Light had previously believed. Why else would he seek to constantly draw attention to his mouth, knowing that it served as a constant reminder of what else was there.

"You're right, of course, Yagami-kun. I am twisted. But then, if desiring sex with you, knowing that you are Kira is twisted, can I help but wonder why you—that is, why Kira—would want to engage in such behavior himself with me." He pauses. "Do you want me to fall in love with you, Yagami-kun?"

Light wraps the chain around his wrist once, tugging a little until he succeeds in drawing L's attention completely. He doesn't rise from his chair, only sits there with the chain gripped in his palm, staring straight at L. "And if I did, Ryuzaki? I suppose that would change everything, wouldn't it? Would you love me?" He tilts his head slightly. "Would it convince you that I'm not Kira?" A faint smile reaches the corners of his mouth. "Or would you still constantly search for ways to prove that I am so you can have an excuse to put me to death?" He leans forward, keeping his gaze fixed firmly on the detective. "Admit it," He whispers, low enough that he's not even sure L can hear him. "You would still have me executed.”

L does not hesitate. "Yes, Yagami-kun. I would." I will. Even as he says this, thinks this, his cock stirs. His body betrays him. But he vows it will not be his undoing. He can control this. Use it and not be used by it…by Light, by Kira. He must. His lips part and his thumb rubs softly across his mouth as Light glares at him.

"That isn't love." Light responds passively. If L could claim to love someone that he would later put to death under the right circumstances, he is obviously disillusioned as to the meaning of the word. But no sooner do the words leave his mouth than he realizes that L will most likely take it as some form of confession on his part. "Have you ever been in love, to be able to claim it or even know how it feels? Maybe you should ask Misa what it feels like before you go throwing the word around." Even the mention of Misa's name makes him cringe, what with the occurrences between him and L so fresh in his mind. Right now, he doesn't want to mention her name, let alone inadvertently tempt Ryuzaki into seeking her out and questioning her about stupid things. "You don't love me, and you won't." He throws in for good measure, his right leg crossed over his left in what he knows has become a tell-tale sign of his discomfort. "So please don't say it.”

“How it pleases you to taunt, so childishly. Your words never quite hit the mark, Yagami-kun, because you and I both desire one another and we both know it. I could just reach out my hand and you'd be hard in an instant. Or perhaps you'd just like me to kiss you again?”

“Don't be so full of yourself. You're not the only one who enjoys finding out how certain actions will produce results, Ryuzaki. I'm sure that I could have Misa satisfy any need I have when it comes to sex. You, on the other hand, are wildly inexperienced and I'd prefer to not be frustrated by all of your fumbling.”

L's smile stretches and his eyes widen. "You have convinced yourself you would rather have sex with Misa than with me. Self-delusion will be your undoing, Yagami-kun."

"Why would I even consider choosing someone like you over someone like Misa, sexually?" Light chuckles. "She, unlike you, actually knows what it is that I prefer." Why he is comparing L to Misa, he has no idea.

"Please, Yagami-kun, tell me more," L replies, elbows on the console, face in his hands.

Oh, another interrogation. Light is not surprised that even simple banter between the two of them seems to always end up as some form of questioning. "For one, Ryuzaki, she showers."

He cocks his head, doglike. "Showers?"

"Yes, you know. When you turn on water and step under it without your clothing and clean yourself. Perhaps even wash your hair." He sticks the last insult on needlessly, but no matter. It feels good.

L grins and scratches his head purposefully. "Perhaps we should take our showers together, Yagami-kun, so you may instruct me on proper...technique."

"Or maybe you'd just like an excuse to suck me off again." He watches as L's long fingers work their way into his messed hair-always messy. Why doesn't he brush it? Just once, Light would like to see what Ryuzaki would look like when properly groomed. He smiles to himself. The chances of that happening are slim, he knows.

"Maybe I would. Or maybe this is all a test of endurance." He licks his lips. "You keep me on my toes, Yagami-kun. I am grateful for the challenge."

Why is L being so…flirtatious? Yes, Light very well knows that he has been subtly tempting him ever since the...incident, but for him to be damn near throwing himself at Light's feet is so unlike him. "Is there something that we need to get out of the way here, Ryuzaki?" He narrows his eyes. The bastard had better not say yes.

"Not at all, Yagami-kun. We have work to do." He turns to his monitor and types in some notes for himself.

"Good." Light leans back and crosses his arms over his chest.

L enjoys the feel of the smirk that wishes to reach his lips, the pleasure of fighting it down. The stimulation of matching minds...and bodies...with Yagami-kun has become a pleasure in his life he never imagined. He feels incredibly alive, and experiences only a moment of pain as he considers the inevitable endpoint: Yagami-kun was Kira, and may be again in future. He will have to pay for his crimes, and L will bring him to justice.

"I've noticed you don't sleep much." He attempts to change the subject to a lighter note. If left up to L, every exchange between the two of them will end up with Light confessing to things he did not do with L on his knees in front of him. "Is there a particular reason for that? I'm sure that you know the mind is sharpest when well rested."

L rubs one foot over the other. No harm in telling the truth. "I'm not accustomed to sharing my space with others -- apart from Watari. It's been a long time since I've shared a room, Yagami-kun. You seem to take it in your stride, like so many things." He shrugs.

"A long time? So you've shared a room with someone before?" He keeps his eyes ahead of him, showing little interest in whatever answer he's going to get out of L. Distractions seem the best way to avoid...distractions, and so he finds himself inquiring about things he has no real interest in.

"You never have. Always living with your family and yet the privacy of your own room." He types on, musing that he is actually becoming angry. He must not.

"Believe me, Ryuzaki, with a sister like Sayu, it's almost the same as having no privacy at all. Do you have siblings?" Why is L avoiding the question? It's a simple one, really.

"No, Yagami-kun. I have no one like Sayu."

"I figured as much. You don't seem to be the type to have lived with siblings. Too standoffish. Antisocial." Light glances over to see Ryuzaki, his face deadpan, as always, eyes on the screen. He does not respond. Why is it now that the conversation has died down, Light finds himself wanting to liven it? Perhaps it's only the thrill of argument that he's become accustomed to in his short time being chained to the detective. "What were you thinking when you decided to knock me over? In the bathroom. It wasn't an accident."

"You know I didn't do it on purpose. But when it happened? I was wishing you had nice soft breasts instead of those jagged shoulders and pointy elbows."

"Of course, Ryuzaki. Because I'm sure you know exactly what those feel like. And yes, you did do it on purpose. Are you telling me that you're unable to even navigate your way from the bathroom to the bed? Come on, I hope you don't hold me in such low opinion that you would think I'm that stupid." He cocks a brow, still not turning to face L.

"I would never accuse you of being stupid, Yagami-kun. Why would I want my first real friend to be stupid?" He does not stop typing.

"And stop saying that. About me being your first 'real' friend. It's like you're mocking me. It's annoying." He feels his adrenaline rising, even if it's only subtle.

He stops typing and turns in his chair. "Think whatever you want of me, Light Yagami, but I do not mock you." He blinks his wide eyes.

Light snorts. "You really are a good liar." Let L stare, let him continue to face him. It doesn't matter. Just because Ryuzaki turned doesn't mean that he has to do the same thing. Why is he even debating this? Of course he doesn't have to turn around.

L pushes his thumb to his teeth and stares. Does Light mean what he says? Likely not. And yet there is also a way in which he simply seems out of touch with himself. It reinforces his feeling that he is no longer aware that he was Kira.

"Stop staring at me." Light forces himself to continue to sit where he is, not turning around, not looking at L, who is obviously trying to get him to do just that.

L shrugs and turns back to the console. He rubs his fingertips with his thumbs and begins typing again. "Irritable," he says.

"I wonder why." Light mutters, bringing his fingers to the bridge of his nose momentarily. How can one person be so damn infuriating without really doing anything at all? It's like L is some kind of robot, programmed to watch him and irk him and revel in his annoyance. His dead, black eyes certainly lend themselves to this theory. He considers grumbling something else to himself, but opts against it. Let there be silence, then.

"And I was thinking your skin is smooth." His voice is calm, even. His fingers keep moving over the keys.

"Hardly a reason to knock someone on their ass, Ryuzaki, but I suppose it's not above you." And so he admits to it, after all. The small sense of victory only touches him for a moment, before the annoyance sets in again. "You could have just told me as much."

"I did not realize it until I touched it, Yagami-kun," he says creasing his brow. "And why would I tell you?"

"Another lie. I was asking you what made you decide to knock me down, not what you thought after you did it." Why does Light even want to know? It's obvious that Ryuzaki did what he did to get what he wanted. But he just wants to hear him admit it.

"I wonder if we simply define 'lie' differently. It would explain a lot."

"There is no difference in definitions. I asked you what you were thinking that caused you to make the decision that you made. You answered with something that occurred to you after the fact. Therefore, you lied. It's simple. You weren't thinking that my skin was smooth when you ran into me, you were thinking of the easiest way to touch me. That's the truth. What you stated was a lie. Am I wrong?"

"How can I answer properly when the question was itself a lie? I tell you I didn't topple you intentionally. Your question negates that possibility. So I answer as best I can." He pauses. "But you are right. It was, in its way, a lie. Can you acknowledge your own?"

"I would, if it were a lie. I'm telling you that I don't believe that it was an accident. There's really nothing you can do to convince me that it was. Am I supposed to believe that you both wanted what happened to happen and the opportunity just presented itself? That sounds an awful lot like unreasonable thinking to me, Ryuzaki. Say it." He finally turns. "Just say that you meant to do it and we can end this argument."

"I enjoyed the result, just as you did. But I did not intend it. Why is it so important to you to think I lie, Yagami-kun?" He knows his own answer to this question.

"It's not important." He decides that Ryuzaki will, in no way, admit that he was purposely at fault for what happened. He would rather taunt Light into thinking he had some choice in the matter. ‘But it was an accident, Yagami-kun' is perhaps the most childish way he could possibly avoid admitting that he planned it from the beginning. Light wouldn't be surprised if L went as far as to hold his own piss for an elongated period of time in order to set the whole thing up. "Fine. If you say it was an accident, I'll leave it at that."

L smiles. "Just when I grow so frustrated with you that I consider kicking you in the teeth again, you throw me off by entertaining me. You will never believe me, nor will you let the matter rest. If we don't speak more of it now, you will bring it up later, or bring up other matters because you are angry about this one." He rises. "Here, let me show you how it is when I act intentionally, so there will be no missing it." He takes the few small steps to the other chair, standing as tall as his posture permits, cock at face level for Light. "This, Yagami-kun, is intentional." His cock is obviously hard, protruding from his jeans.

He leans back in his chair, drawing his face away from L's jeans. "I'm glad to see that you enjoy annoying me so much that it has that effect on you." Light wants to look away. And he should. He really should. But the fact that L is so easily affected is more than a little inflating to his ego. "And what, may I ask, do you intend to do with that, Ryuzaki? Would you perhaps like to unlock these cuffs for a few minutes so you can go...take care of yourself?"

Is that it? Is he aroused by annoying Yagami-kun? How childish. "You will not believe me when I say I had not planned to do more than rise and taunt you. But you must be right that annoying you makes me...like this. Can't you think of something better than sending me away?" He reaches his hand into his pants to shift his cock from its uncomfortable bend in his underwear. His heart is beating fast.

"Send you away?" Light watches him reach into his pants and is hit with the sudden urge to replace L's hand with his own. If only to feel the effect for himself. "As if you'd actually consider taking these off." He shakes his wrist slightly, jingling the chain. Without thought, or perhaps with too much thought, he reaches forward and runs his palm up along the front of Ryuzaki's jeans, glancing upwards as he does so. If he's going to let himself go long enough to engage in contact with L again, despite him swearing he wouldn't, he'd damn well better get a reaction.

L's eyes widen, then close, his head dropping back. He could not have been less prepared for Light's touch. No matter what happens between them, he knows Light is disgusted by him--he tells him often enough, and why wouldn't he be? And yet...his hand.... L slips his own from his pants and then does not know what to do with it. Both of his hands feel heavy, excessive, purposeless. His breath catches in his throat and he squeezes his eyes tighter as Light presses his palm more firmly to the swelling bulge in his pants.

"This is all your fault, you know...," Light murmurs, moving his hand down, then pressing firmly and bringing it back up. "Everything you've said or done in the past few days was all a ploy to get this." His fingers find purchase in the fabric surrounding Ryuzaki's erection and he squeezes, pleased that he at least has some control over the situation. "You suck on those damn strawberries like you want me to watch you. You can at least admit that." He sits up, bringing his face closer to the source of his current amusement.

L groans audibly, unable to speak. Is Yagami-kun right? Those fingers...the heat... Yes...admit it...he should admit...say something... "Ya...gami...I..." He shudders, eyes still closed, head still tipped, steadying himself suddenly by placing his hands, blindly but surely, on Light's shoulders. His cock throbs, his whole body pulses from that small, warm touch.

He squeezes again, harder this time. "You what?" The zipper of L's jeans is rough against his palm and he decides that it's a nuisance. Finding the clasp, he pulls it down slowly, watching Ryuzaki intently and listening to every hitch in his breath as he pulls it down. It is a deliberately slow act, meant to gauge a reaction. He stops once the zipper has fully opened, waiting for L's admittance. "You what, Ryuzaki?" He taunts.

L offers a guttural moan that he forces to stop before it undoes him -- before Light undoes him. He raises his head and opens his eyes to look down at his...tormentor. "Why?" he breathes, not sure if he is asking Light why he is opening his pants, why he is teasing him, or why either of them wants this,...or why he, of all people, has to be Kira.

"Because I want to hear it." Light answers simply, his voice perfectly composed. He slides his hand into the gap of Ryuzaki's jeans, allowing it to brush along his cock for a brief moment before pulling it back out. "I find it rather amusing that even now, you would question everything." The cloth of L's jeans is only a breath away from his mouth now, and he holds his position, waiting to hear what he knows he can force L to admit. Perhaps...he needs a bit more encouragement. He takes the hem of the denim between his teeth and tugs slightly, never lowering his eyes. "I'm waiting..."

"Yagami," he gasps, watching him release his cock and then bring his teeth to his jeans and pull. "I want this...want...you...Light-kun…"

Of course you do, Light thinks, offering no vocal response. He wonders just how long it will take him to have L beneath him on the floor. Probably not long at all. As a matter of fact, he could have it right now, if he wants. The realization hits him like a brick. Yes, he can have L, the genius detective, writhing under him like a whore. But why? Why would he want that? It's a trap that Ryuzaki has pulled him into. All of this: The whining, the begging, the desperation...it all has to be for something. Nothing he does is without purpose. It's enough to make him pause, but not enough to stop him completely. Reaching back into L's pants, he pulls his cock out with little grace and kisses the tip hesitantly.

The sensation of Light's mouth on his cock makes him see white for a split second, a fleeting moment where the entire world is white noise, white light, and his body vanishes into it. He cannot feel his hands tightly gripping Light's shoulders or his eyes, his hip muscles tensing, his mouth stretching open, his eyes squeezing shut. But it is only a moment, and as it peaks, L regains himself, realizes he is giving too much away, exposing himself in a way he has never done before and must not be doing now. That whiteness is his death flashing before his eyes. The recognition is enough to shake him loose of the illusion he has willingly allowed Light to cast over him. In fact, he has cast it over himself.

The demands of the body must be sated, yet they must also be controlled. His appetite, always excessive in its demands for sugar, is quenched in ritualized fashion with a parade of sweets daily. His sexual urges can be dealt with similarly. Enough exposure to sexual pleasure and it, too, will be just another craving he can appease without losing focus, can even direct into greater control. Light will suck him like this until he climaxes, and then it will become known. Never again a first time. Always in future a pleasure he will know…understand…use. "Suck me, Yagami-kun," he says, voice even and calm.

Light pauses, his mouth still touching the head of L's cock, and brings his eyes upward. "I'm sorry, Ryuzaki, did I give you the impression that I was going to?" He smirks, letting his lips rest on the warm flesh. "I have to wonder what would make you think that I'll do what you ask." His tongue sneaks from behind his lips, drawing a line of wetness over L's length, before he draws away and sits back altogether. It's delicious to see L all but begging, even if the detective is trying his hardest to make it seem like a command.

"You play your hand too obviously. You seek displays of weakness from me so you can feel stronger. Sexual experience is the only avenue for you to obtain it. So you press your advantage. Suck me or don't. But if you're not going to, may I suggest you let go of my cock before your father and the other officers show up? Watari is already watching. That's enough of an audience, don't you think?"

"You want me to believe that you haven't disabled the cameras in here, Ryuzaki?" His hand tightens. This game between the two of them is more a test of wits than anything, at this point. He doesn't know what brought him to even be put in this position, but now that he's here, there is no way he's going to let L win. "I think you disable them when we're alone because you are always anticipating this. Am I wrong?"

"What is it I am anticipating, Yagami-kun? It is complete truth to say I did not anticipate your mouth on my cock. Are you just going to continue to hold it like that?" He blinks down, watching a tiny pearl of pre-cum form on his still-firm cock. He wonders if it will drip down over Light's fingers.

"Perhaps." Light flashes a small grin, wondering if L would really remain unmoving if he decided to remain still as well. "You're asking stupid questions now," he taunts. "Of course I'm not going to just stay like this. But tell me," He draws closer still, not quite touching the member with his lips, "What is it exactly that you want? A blowjob? Is that all, Ryuzaki?" Chestnut hair falls over his eye as he tilts his head to the side, purposely letting his breath fall on the head of L's cock. "I think, perhaps, you're hoping for something more."

L fights back a grin. He finally recognizes how fully he has the upperhand and berates himself for allowing himself to be vulnerable to his opponent in this dance. It will not do to gloat...or to underestimate Light. "One always hopes for more: more information, more truth, more justice. Do justice to me, Yagami-kun. I am in your hands."

"Information?" The word triggers an automatic reaction. Light promptly releases L's cock from his hand and leans back, peering upwards, still. "Is that what this is about? Indulge me, Ryuzaki." He leans back into the chair once more. "What exactly do you think you're going to learn from this? Is it that you think I'll fuck you and you can later pawn it off as Kira attempting to overcome L?”

"Overcome? You flatter yourself, but perhaps we both do." He looks down at his flagging cock and sighs, then looks back up at Light and blinks. "I hate to think that is all the attention you'll ever pay me, Yagami-kun."

This is all so...stupid, Light realizes. This dance could go on forever between the two of them. Either they fuck and get it out of their systems, or they don't and have the same behavior repeated over and over again until they do. Intercourse is the logical solution. Light is forced to bite back laughter at his own thoughts. Sex...with Ryuzaki...is the logical solution. As odd as it sounds in his head, it makes perfect sense. "Not here," he mumbles, rising from the chair.

L pauses, watching Light rise. The implications are clear. He slips his dick back in his pants and zips them up carefully. Then he turns in his chair and clicks a few buttons. Monitor back on in this room, off in the bedroom. Has he guessed correctly?

He has half a mind to yank his arm and all but drag L to their quarters, though it seems it's hardly necessary. There is no tautness as he begins to walk, which tells him that he is not the only one in a rush. Light wants this done, over with, so whatever the hell is going on between himself and L can come to a conclusion and things can go back to normal. Well...as normal as they were before this tension arose, at least.

Light is clearly in a hurry. Uncomfortable. What has suddenly made this so urgent? He gets the feeling Light finds this distasteful yet necessary. Why? More importantly, are they actually going to go through with this? He follows the slender man who is also Kira up the stairs. They have done this dozens of times. But not for this reason. "Yagami-kun? If you truly are not Kira, you have no reason to do this...that I can think of." That is not entirely true, of course, but the reasoning he can think of makes little sense to him. He knows who and what he is and who and what Yagami Light is. Why would he want this?

"Really?" Light halts on the steps, turning to face Ryuzaki. This is the precise reason he must go through with this. This constant back and forth between them, it has to stop, somehow. "Are we really going to do this now, Ryuzaki? You walk up to me with your cock in my face, and now that I've decided to have you, you're going to question whether or not I'm doing so because I'm Kira?" He glances at those large, black eyes, searching for an answer, but finds none. Only apprehension and overthinking. Always analyzing, always doubting.

Decided...to have him? Is that how this works? How Light works? Why is he surprised that Kira comes into this? He cannot be. Not truly. But he is right. L started this. This time. Perhaps every time. "I am hard again, Light-kun.” He announces. “Let’s go.”