Author's Note: All characters belong to Stephenie Meyer.

December 13.

I was at Alice's house, trying to figure out the best way to get my present idea to work. It would take a lot of careful planning to pull it off. I just hoped that Edward would be a willing participant in this. Part of me was worried that this could go dreadfully wrong, particularly when Alice mentioned that I couldn't live in the same house as him until Christmas.

"What! Why?" I demanded.

"Well because it just wouldn't be right if you were still sleeping in the same bed. It would defeat the purpose." Alice said matter-of-factly.

I considered what she had just mentioned and conceded that she was right. "Well what should I do then? Sleep on the couch?"

"No, I'm not sure that would work either." She paused to think, then snapped her fingers and exclaimed eagerly, "You can stay here! It's perfect. He'll know where you are, and not have to worry."

I bit my lip, "I think that he'll worry anyway Alice. It is Edward after all. He might think that something is wrong."

"Don't worry, we'll reassure him that it's for his own good. He'll appreciate it soon enough. Trust me Bella, he'll love this idea."

Alice was eternally optimistic about everything. I on the other hand tended to agonise over the little things a lot. As much as I was excited about enacting my present, I wasn't self-assured enough to think that I was making a good decision. Although I did know that once I set the wheels in motion it would be silly to go back.

"It'll be ok. I promise," Alice said, crossing her heart. "I mean how often do you get the chance to relive your first dates?"

"That's just it Alice, we never got to experience those things. We kind of just skipped over them."

"Either way, I wish I had thought of it. I would love to experience those moments with Jasper again," her voice trailed off as her eyes glazed over. No doubt thinking about all of the dates that Jasper and her had shared. It made me slightly envious, but I knew I was about to change that.

After prom Edward and I didn't spend that much time together. He was getting ready to graduate, and I was studying for finals. It was difficult not being able to be together much, so I stayed at Alice's a lot just to see him. It helped that I could tell my Dad I was going there to study with Alice, otherwise I'm not certain that he would have be so consenting. That summer I had to go stay with my Mum, which meant three weeks without seeing him. Then, to make it worse, less than a week after I came home, Edward had to move interstate to go to college. It was heartbreaking. I feared then that our relationship was doomed to fail, simply because we were constantly pulled away from each other. However we kept in contact by talking everyday on the phone, and by texting each other constantly. I even wrote him a letter once a week, and poured as much of my heart as I could into it. They were always corny and pathetically romantic, but Edward told me he enjoyed them, so I kept writing them. We continued communicating like this for a year, until Edward came home for the summer. We threw ourselves into spending all of the free time that we could together, but happenstance meant that we had to fight for it. Edward's parents wanted to see the son who had been away studying his first year of law, and I had to work so I could save for college. Thankfully, I got accepted into the same institution as Edward, which meant I wouldn't have to be away from him for another year. It had taken a lot of persuasion on my behalf to convince my parents to allow me to go. They wanted me to study somewhere closer to home. I was grateful that the course on Conservation Biology which I wanted to do was highly recommended there. Edward and I decided to break the news to them after we had left that we intended on living together. My Dad would have never let me go if I had let him know beforehand.

In the simple flurry of wanting to always be around each other, we had never actually gone on any dates. We had completely skipped over the courting process of our relationship, and flung ourselves head first into cohabited bliss. I didn't mind one bit, and neither did Edward to my knowledge. We were just finally happy to be able to spend as much time as we wanted together. Most importantly, we could spend time alone. My plan was to now give Edward what we had missed out on during that first year. The awkward first date; the anticipated second; the make-or-break third; and so on. I wanted him, us, to experience what I saw my friends experience every time they meet someone new. Who knows, it might even snap us out of the homeliness rut we were so dangerously close to becoming stuck in. It wasn't going to be easy. In fact, I wasn't actually sure that I could come up with enough ideas to last until Christmas. Or if I could even last that long being away from him, since we had hardly been apart since that first year. I had stayed with him until he finished his degree and had received an internship back in our home town, even though his degree took longer than mine. To be separated from Edward was not on my list of favourite things to do. But here I was, planning to move in with Alice temporarily.

I spent the rest of the day with Alice thinking of ideas for dates, and trying to figure out how to make sure that Edward would go along with what I was planning to do. It took a while, but by the time I needed to go home, I think we had it sorted. I had decided to butter Edward up by cooking him a nice meal, so that he wouldn't feel unloved. Even though it was a Saturday, Edward still had to go into work. It was one of those unfortunate things that this time of year demanded. I hauled our old suitcase out of the garage when I got home, and stashed it in our wardrobe. I didn't want to start packing before telling him I was going to Alice's, just in case he got the wrong idea. I heard his car pull into the driveway just as I was taking the Shepard's Pie out of the oven. The sound of his key unlocking the front door sent my heart fluttering. I took a deep breath and tried to calm myself before I faced him. I raised my hands in front of me to find that they were shaking. It was unbelievable how anxious I was, and I hadn't even told him yet.

He called my name as he took off his thick woollen coat in the hallway, but I refused to go greet him. Instead I told him I was in the kitchen. He came into the room, gave me a peck on the cheek and asked what I was cooking.

"Right now, chocolate sauce for dessert," my voice sounded shaky.

I glanced over at him as he walked towards the countertop where my baking dish held dinner. His hair was dishevelled from all the snow that had fallen in it, making him look like he used to when he was younger. These days it would be formal and side-parted, to make him look professional at the office. I felt a pang in my stomach as I remembered how much I used to love running my fingers through his hair. It was something that I rarely did anymore. I turned my attention back to the sauce, my eyes smarting. As I continued to stir the sauce, out the corner of my eye I saw Edward stick his finger into the mashed potato, take a dollop and eat it.

"Edward!" I scolded.

He grinned at me sheepishly. "Sorry, I couldn't resist. You know how much I love Shepard's Pie."

I rolled my eyes. He could be such a kid sometimes.

"So is there a special occasion that I missed? You seem to be doing an awful lot for dinner tonight. Well, more than usual," he added.

I avoided eye contact, "no, no special reason. I just wanted to do something nice for a change."

He seemed to miss the edge of hysteria in my voice.

"Ok, well I'm going to take a quick shower first before we eat." With that, he left the room. I heard the shower turn on a few moments later.

I had decided that we would eat at the dining table tonight, which was something we wouldn't normally do. Dinner was mostly chowed down in front of the television, usually with some sporting event playing. Baseball was Edward's favourite to watch, and my least. Food was known to end up on the walls, or squished into the carpet whenever one of the players did something good, or extremely bad. I occupied myself with setting the table, and dishing out a generous portion of food to Edward. He had an appetite that was never quite satisfied. Noise coming from the living room told me that Edward had finished his shower and was settling in for the night. I walked in to find him sprawled out on the couch, wearing a long sleeved, grey thermal shirt and black slacks. This vision reinforced the thought in my head that we were becoming far too content with our lives. He barely glanced up at me as I approached him.

"I thought we could eat in the dining room tonight Edward." I said quietly.

He turned his head slowly in my direction, his face filled with confusion. "Ok," he said nodding.

I turned and walked out of the room. He switched the television off and followed me. He sat at one end of our six-seated table, and I took the chair on his left hand side. I had barely picked up my fork when he started to shovel the food into his mouth. I sat there staring at him for a moment, until he said "what" with a mouthful of food.

I sighed. "Edward, don't you ever get the feeling that we're too comfortable around each other? That we rarely do anything exciting anymore?"

He paused with his spoon halfway to his open mouth. "No," he answered. "Not really. Is everything ok Bella?"

"Yeah, don't worry. I'm just being stupid." I had decided I would wait until dessert to tell him. No point in spoiling a good meal.

We ate in silence, with Edward constantly glancing at me with a slight worried look. I did my best to look like I was enthralled in my meal, but the truth was I wasn't all that hungry. My stomach was knotted, and a lump was forming in my throat making it hard to swallow. I had to keep constantly reminding myself that this would be good for us, but the way he kept looking at me made me feel extremely guilty. As soon as I could, I cleared the table and brought out the pudding and chocolate sauce for dessert. As I poured the sauce over Edward's helping, he stared at my face. I tried to give him a small smile, but it would have been more of a grimace. He grabbed my arm before I could turn away.

"Bella, what's wrong?" He asked softly. "You haven't been yourself all night. Did something happen? Has that Jacob guy been messaging you again?"

Jacob was a work colleague, who was really a decent guy but had been keen on me since I had started working with him. Edward wasn't particularly fond of him.

"No, it not him. It's us." Whoa, that sounded bad. He released my arm as if it was hot to touch, and his face took on a slightly horrified look. I knew I would have to clarify quickly. "You and I have been together so long, seven years in fact, and I think we're beginning to take things for granted. I'm scared that one day we'll wake up and have nothing to say to each other because we don't spend as much time together as we used to."

He furrowed his brow, "I don't understand Bella. We spend a lot of time together."

"At home Edward, we spend a lot of time at home. And most of it we're watching tv, or something like that. We barely spend any personal time together. I can't even remember the last time we went out."

He started to spin his spoon, trying to focus on something else. He looked slightly dejected. "Do you want us to go out more often?"

"Yes," My voice was quiet. "And no. I want... I want to have what we had when we first got together. Do you remember how we used to fight tooth and nail against our parents to spend time together?" He nodded. "I want us to have that fire again."

I sat down. This was it. I had to tell him now. The tension that was building between us was becoming almost too much to take. I had to fight the tears that were threatening to fall.

I took a deep breath. "Edward, I'm going to do something, and I need you to understand that no matter how it looks, that it's not a bad thing. You have to know that I would never hurt you. I love you too much."

I almost lost it then and there, watching as his face began to fall. I knew he was thinking the worst already. I bit my quivering lip and forced the words out of myself.

"I'm going to stay with Alice for a few days."

"What?" he demanded. I couldn't look at him, my eyes dropped to the plate in front of me.

"It's just for a short time. Just while I do something," My voice was so shaky, and the lump in my throat was rising.

"While you do what?"

"I can't - I can't tell you right now. But please Edward, trust me." I finally looked at him, my eyes pleading. He was in a worse shape than I was. He hand now gripped the spoon so tightly that his knuckles were white. A single tear rolled down his face.

"Are you leaving me Bella?"

"No!" I exclaimed, jumping up from my chair. I knelt down beside him, taking his face in my hands. I wiped his tear away as mine started to spill. "I'm not leaving you. Not now, or ever. I need you to believe me. Do you trust me?" He nodded, his face still in my hands.

"Do you trust this?" I gently tugged his face down to mine and kissed him. It was a ferocious kiss. I put all the emotion that I could into it, trying to convince him that I was still his. He seemed to sense this and kissed me back with just as much passion. I had to catch my breath when our lips parted.

He leant his forehead against mine. "Yes, I trust that."

I tore my face away and peered up at his. "It's for a good reason, I promise. I love you."

"I love you too."

He pulled me up to embrace me, which left me standing awkwardly. He hugged me so tight I could barely breathe.

"Don't ever scare me like that again," he whispered into my ear. "I wish I knew what was going on in your mind now. I wish you could tell me. It frightens me that you can't."

"Don't. Please don't be. All I can tell you is that Alice and I are cooking up something for you. Ok?"

He pulled back and shook his head. "That little menace. I'll have to have words with her."

I laughed. "She means well. She is your sister after all."

Edward grunted. I stood up properly, kissed him on the forehead, and went back to my chair.

"So when are you leaving?" He asked taking a bite of the pudding.

I hesitated before answering. "Tonight."

"Tonight!" He exclaimed, almost choking on his food.

"Yes."

"Huh. Well that explains dinner then doesn't it?"

I gave him a shy smile, "I wanted make sure that you knew I still cared about you."

We finished dessert, and I went upstairs to pack. I expected him to go back to watching television, but instead he came upstairs with me. I dragged the suitcase out of the wardrobe while he waited in the doorway of our room. He raised his eyebrows when he saw that I had already brought it inside.

"How long have you been planning this for," he asked. There was a note of pain in his voice.

"Only a couple of days. Well actually, it was really only today. Alice kind of pointed out that it wouldn't work if I stayed here."

His face grew stern when I mentioned his sister again. I was going to have to warn her before he saw her next. It was very apparent that he wasn't happy with her.

"Can you at least give me a hint?" His eyes followed me as I wandered around the room, grabbing various items to take with me.

"You'll find out tomorrow night Edward." I answered reassuringly.

"What's tomorrow night?"

I could tell he was still doubtful. "It's a surprise," I said dumping the rest of my clothes in the suitcase and closing it, "you'll have to wait and see."

Frustration showed clearly on his face which made me giggle. He threw me a dirty look and advanced towards me.

"Are you laughing at me Miss Swan?" He asked in a playful tone, coming closer still.

"No," I replied, "I'm giggling."

"Do you think this situation is funny?" He was right in front of me now, staring down into my eyes.

"No. I think your reactions are." There was something in his eyes that made my heart beat faster.

"Is that so?" A smile crept onto his face.

"Yes," I squeaked.

The grin grew wider. "Well I might have to do something about that."

He started to run his fingertips lightly up and down my arms as he spoke. I trembled from the touch. He shifted his face downwards, in a movement to kiss me. At the last moment though, he changed his mind. Instead of kissing me on the lips, he grazed his nose along my jaw and placed light kisses on my neck. As he did so, my breath caught and I closed my eyes. I went to move my arms and place them around him, but he locked his hands around my wrists and held them tight at my sides. He continued to kiss my neck, moving away every time I tried to kiss him back. It made my heart race with desire, and I wanted nothing more than to pull him backwards onto the bed behind me. This was not the Edward who I was used to now; this was an Edward reminiscent of my teenage years, of times when we were about to be separated from one another. If my moving out brought out this side of him, I would gladly do it more often.

Just when I thought I couldn't take his teasing any more, his lips led back up to my mouth, gently pressing his lips against mine. He withdrew from the kiss before I could react properly and released my wrists. I moved to grab him as I opened my eyes, but I only caught air. He had already created a gap between us. I didn't hide my confusion. I gave him a questioning look which only served to make him show me his crooked smile.

"I'm just making sure you come home Bella."

I suddenly realised what he had been doing. He wasn't going to let me go without a fight, and he knew how to fight well.

"I'm still leaving Edward. This isn't going to stop me," I said, even though I was so close to staying. He knew what worked with me.

"Well I guess I should help you then," he responded bitterly as he walked past me and grabbed the suitcase from the bed.

I could tell that was the final blow for him. It didn't matter how much he trusted me, I was still leaving despite his efforts, and it hurt him to watch me go. He took my suitcase out to my car and placed it in the trunk. I was hot on his heels.

"Edward," I started when I reached him outside.

He interrupted me, "Don't! I'll only understand when you tell me what's going on."

I could only nod in response. The lump was returning to my throat.

"So that's it then?" He asked. It sounded like he was saying goodbye. Not a 'until next time' goodbye; it sounded like a 'forever' goodbye.

I shook my head. "No," I choked out. "It's not goodbye Edward. You will see me tomorrow. Just… go along with whatever happens. Please?"

He didn't answer. His face was set in a grimace. I reached up one last time and kissed him on the lips. He didn't move or react to my touch. That sent me over the edge. I shut my eyes as I drew myself away. I couldn't bear to look at him again. I got in the car, with tears streaming down my face. This was exactly what I was afraid of. I could only hope to redeem myself over the next few days. I started the car and pulled out of the driveway. When I had reached a few houses down I made the mistake of looking back in the rear vision mirror. He was watching me drive away, unmoving, with his hands clenched into fists; and his face, it was drawn with so much pain, hurt and anger, I wasn't sure I could ever make it right.