Thanks for all the reviews for the last chapter. I’m really glad you all liked it.

This chapter is the second and concluding part to the last, so it has some of the lyrics in it again, but just random parts. Again, they’re in bold italics.

This really isn’t that long a chapter by the way.

Disclaimer: Still not mine.

Leave Out all The Rest cont.

Olivia lay awake, staring at Elliot who was still soundly sleeping next to her. She had been saying what she needed to talk to him about for ages in her head. She was praying for the courage to be able to tell him as soon as he woke up, although she doubted that courage would come along.

He looked so peaceful, almost like he’d never wake up because he was so deep in sleep. Part of her wanted to do a fake cough really loudly so he’d wake up but another bigger part of her just wanted to continue watching him sleep.

She snuggled a little closer to him, her body becoming a little cold from the lack of blankets which were stuck beneath them.

Elliot felt the movement and still with his eyes closed tightened his grip on her hand for a moment before sliding it up her arm where he gently brushed it up and down in an attempt to warm her.

She looked at him, inwardly begging him to open his eyes and talk to her. Then…he did. “Hey,” he said.

“Hi,” she said back to him. It was a simple greeting but in their complex relationship it meant much more.

“It’s freezing in here,” Elliot said with a little chuckle.

“It always is.” she informed him.

“You wanna go sit on the couch? I’ll make us coffee.” he suggested. Olivia had to smile at him.

- - - - - - -

A little while later they were both sat on the couch at opposite ends. Keeping some distance between their bodies was important to Olivia but it wasn’t easy on the small couch.

They had a blanket over them. Olivia’s apartment was usually cold, but the rain that insisted on pouring down outside made it feel especially chilly this morning.

They both sat, relatively silent as they drank their coffees. Olivia wanted to talk to him, tell him she knew that she had screwed up but that she hadn’t meant to. She knew she wasn’t the only one to screw up in this relationship, whatever their relationship actually was.

I’m strong on the surface, not all the way through,

I’ve never been perfect, but neither have you.

“I really wasn’t trying to kill myself…or at least I don’t think I was. I don’t really know anymore.” she said, confidently at first but struggling by the end. “I just really needed to stop the images. I couldn’t keep seeing his face and not totally remembering what he did to me.”

Elliot watched her as she spoke. He could see this was hard for her. Tears filled her eyes and her bottom lip was trembling and she wouldn’t look him in the eyes. He knew that was her way of hiding her pain from him when she knew she couldn’t hold it in any longer.

“I only wanted one glass of wine, but when the images wouldn’t go away a glass turned into a bottle and a bottle turned into a load of scotch… I just really wanted the images to go away.” she said almost breaking into sobs.

Elliot allowed her to speak for a moment before he said, “Liv… I don’t know what it feels like to be raped….”

Hearing herself referred to as being raped made the teas fall and a sob escape her mouth.

“I can only imagine that it is hell on earth and I don’t expect what you’re feeling to go away over a week or two and I know you don’t expect these feelings to go away that quick either.” he said.

Olivia shook her head. She knew her feelings would be sticking around for a long long time. “I can still feel him on me, in me... I can still smell his breath. I couldn’t at first. I was happy when I couldn’t remember it. I knew it had happened but I could push it aside. Now I have no choice. It’s all I ever think about.”

Elliot just watched her as she wiped away her tears. He moved a little closer to her. He felt her tense but he still moved close enough for their legs to touch. Olivia felt the familiarity of his body against hers and relaxed somewhat.

She was happy with him there but she still suddenly and uncontrollably burst in to tears. She couldn’t hold them in. “What’s wrong with me?” she cried.

Elliot quickly wrapped his arm around her shoulder and when she fell into him, crying against his chest, he tightened his grip a little. “Nothing, Liv. Nothing is wrong with you.”

Olivia still couldn’t stop crying. “I can’t get over this till I stop seeing him.”

“I know, but that won’t work by drinking him away. You need to talk about this and work through it. It’s not going to be easy at all.”

“I never thought I’d be one of the victims.” she said through her tears and chokes.

“Me too.” he said as he rested his chin on top of her head. “I always though I’d be there to protect you. I’ve let you down so much.”

When my time comes, forget the wrong that I’ve done.

“No you haven’t’.” she said, “You couldn’t have stopped him” she said knowing in her heart that he couldn’t have done anything. “You got there in time to stop him from blowing my brains out.”

Help me leave behind some reasons to be missed.

“But I couldn’t stop him from raping you. And then in the hospital I forced you to stop, I let them sedate you and hold you down when you were begging for my help.”

“That was for my own good, I know that now, and I knew that then. I just…didn’t want to accept it. I didn’t want to be helped I just wanted to be left alone.”

Don’t resent me, and when you’re feeling empty

Keep me in your memory…

“It was me or Drew or Bella. I’m glad it was me and not them.” she said, not quite the right words but she knew and he knew what she meant.

“You have the biggest heart of any person I know Liv. That’s why I know you’re gonna get through this…because good things happen to good people. You’re an amazing person Liv….just one more reason for me to love you.”

Olivia looked at him, her mind locked on his words. There were a million reasons why she loved him back, instead of telling him just yet she snuggled back into him and was once again sound asleep. She wanted to tell him when she could look into his eyes, have him look back into hers and know she meant every word she said.

Leave out all the rest, leave out all the rest.

TBC

There will be more discussions between them.

Thanks for reading. Hope it was okay.