Double Threat

The next life or death struggle began in a typical way for the X-Men and the Misfits. In the kitchen. But for once it had nothing to do with Kitty's cooking.

"I swear am I the only one here who actually eats fruit as part of a balanced meal?" Emma winced as she saw Kurt, Pietro, Bobby, Jubilee, Tabitha and Peter eating a sandwich.

"There's fruit in this," Kurt told her as he held up his sandwich.

"Fried peanut butter and banana sandwiches do not count as fruit," Emma groaned. "Peter, I understand why the rest of them are eating this…concoction but why you?"

"But Elvis ate these all the time!" Peter said. "Or was it just regular peanut butter and banana sandwiches?"

"And the mystery is solved," Emma sighed.

"You gotta admit though, fried peanut butter and bananna sandwiches are good," Tabitha licked her lips. "Sure you don't want any Frostie?"

"I'll believe I'll pass, thank you," Emma declined.

"Too bad, you don't know what you're missing," Tabitha shrugged as she took another bite.

"We gotta make some for Cyclops! Is he here?" Bobby asked.

"Cyclops, Wolfsbane and Havok are at the police station finishing up with the paperwork on a cocaine bust they helped with this morning," Emma said. "I must admit I was skeptical of how this venture would work but things are going rather well for us here."

"Yeah the most violent mutant instance we had these past few months was when that three year old mutant had a temper tantrum," Tabitha nodded.

"A three year old that could shatter glass with it's screaming," Emma said. "Even that wasn't so bad. Despite the persecution of mutants in this country, things are rather quiet in San Francisco."

"I DON'T CARE WISDOM!" Kitty stormed in screaming on a cell phone. "I DON'T CARE AT ALL WHAT YOU DO ANYMORE! NO WAIT! I DO CARE IF YOU DID DROP DEAD BECAUSE THEN I CAN CELEBRATE AND DANCE OVER YOUR ROTTEN CORPSE!"

"Just had to say that didn't you Emma?" Bobby asked.

"Trouble in Paradise?" Emma raised an eyebrow.

"You are a bastard! You know that Wisdom?" Kitty snapped. "The worst part is that I actually believed you were a decent man! You're damn right you should have told me you jerk! Yeah that would have factored into my decision to start a relationship with you! Which is obviously why you never told me!"

"Apparently Kitty and Pete Wisdom have been fighting a lot," Jubilee explained.

"When aren't those two fighting?" Kurt snorted.

"I DON'T CARE! I DON'T WANT OR NEED HER PERMISSION BECAUSE THIS RELATIONSHIP IF YOU CAN CALL IT THAT IS OVER!" Kitty screamed into the phone. "And if you ever call me again I will rip off your lying lips and stuff them into a compactor! Then I'm gonna rip your heart out of your chest like you ripped mine out! Then I will break every bone in your body, yank all your teeth out one by one, cut out your tongue and castrate you then throw what's left of your body into the ocean! What I can't sell for dog food!"

"I suppose the honeymoon is over," Emma remarked.

"This is nothing," Kurt waved. "You should have heard her when Wisdom accidentally threw up on her new shoes."

"YOU $#%#^&*&!" Kitty screamed into the phone. "YOU BLEEEEP CAN GO BLEEEP! AND BLEEEEEEEEEEEP!"

"Pretty much like that actually," Kurt winced.

"She picked up those words from Logan, right?" Emma's jaw dropped at Kitty's profanity.

"Not necessarily," Tabitha whistled. "I know for a fact Al knows one of them."

"You are dead to me! You understand! DEAD! D-E-A-D! I'd say good bye but there's nothing good about you! So I'm just going to say, THANKS FOR NOTHING AND DROP DEAD!" Kitty screamed.

She shut the phone off, stormed over to a blender and threw the phone in. "AAAAAHHHHH!" She screamed as she turned it on and tried to blend it. Then she turned off the blender, took the phone out, grabbed a meat mallet and smashed it while screaming. Then she took the pieces, took a pan and threw the pieces in the pan. Then she shoved the pan into the oven.

"Uh Kitty," Tabitha blinked. "I know you have trouble cooking things but…"

"I don't want to talk about it!" Kitty snapped. "But if I did want to talk about it, I'd say how much men are scum! Lying, cheating, evil scum!"

"Thanks very much," Kurt quipped. "Glad to be appreciated."

"Men are evil!" Kitty grabbed a knife. Instantly every male in the room got very nervous. "They should be a law that certain men should not be allowed to breed! Or breathe! And certain steps should be taken to see that!" She stabbed the knife in the counter. "As of now, Public Enemy Number One is Pete Wisdom! Who is to be shot on sight!"

"Okey Dokey," Peter blinked. "No problem!"

"Yes if we see him, we'll kill him for you," Kurt gulped.

"Better him than us," Pietro said.

"AAAGGGGGGGHHHHHH!" Kitty stormed out of the kitchen.

"Uh…" Kurt began.

"It's okay, she forgot to turn the oven on," Pietro checked.

"For once her bad habit works in our favor," Emma sighed. "All right does anyone know what that was about? Even with my telepathy I don't have a clue. Then again with her state of mind I didn't really try…"

"I know Kitty and Pete argue a lot but she was more ticked off than usual," Jubilee said. "I know long distance relationships suck but…"

"Well it just sucked even more," Rogue walked in. "I just got off the phone with Psylocke in England. A few hours ago Kitty thought it would be a good idea to surprise Wisdom using the Mass Device. It was a surprise all right."

"Let me guess," Jubilee held up her hand. "Was it a hooker or drunken bar fling?"

"Worse," Rogue sighed. "It was his wife."

"WHAT?" Everyone shouted.

"Wife? Since when does Pete Wisdom have a wife?" Kurt yelled.

"It turns out there was a secret marriage a few years ago," Rogue sat down groaning. "There's this Fairy Kingdom that threatened to wage war against England for one reason or another until Wisdom and his team intervened. The king of the Fairies had a daughter that took to fancy Pete so in order to keep the peace…"

"Say no more," Emma held up her hand. "We get the picture."

"Oh man that sucks!" Tabitha sucked in a breath.

"It's mostly a political marriage and apparently in fairy society it's pretty much expected for marriage partners to have different lovers," Rogue shook her head. "Except certain times when the female is…Well when she is ready to have a baby. And apparently Kitty popped right in during this…You get the picture."

"Vividly," Emma winced.

"Oh my god! How horrible!" Jubilee gasped. "Kitty must be devastated!"

"Yeah who knew it would be such a shock for her to find out that she's not the center of a love triangle for once?" Pietro snorted.

"This is serious, Pietro!" Rogue snapped. "Kitty's just in shock right now but she really cared for Wisdom! That two timing creep!"

"She cared that she was getting it every night," Emma said. "Trust me, that relationship was doomed to failure before it began. There was nothing going but passion. I've seen relationships like that a thousand times before. Men like that almost never leave their wives and even if they did for some reason the girlfriend is always going to be worried about him comparing her to his wife. There is no way I am going to end up like that! Trust me darlings, it's just not worth being the other woman."

"Still it was wrong of him to lead her on like that," Rogue snarled. "I mean she had no idea! She never would have gotten involved with the guy if he told the truth."

"Which is why he didn't tell her the truth," Pietro rolled his eyes. "Still even Kitty doesn't deserve to be two timed like that."

"Poor Kitty," Tabitha said. "Her heart must be broken!"

"Yes it is," Peter realized something. "So…They are broken up? Poor Kitty. I must comfort her!" He jumped up and ran off to find Kitty.

"Did he just…?" Bobby began.

"Uh huh," Pietro said.

"Like we all didn't see that coming?" Kurt asked. "Show of hands. Who could see that coming a mile away?" He raised his hands along with most of the people in the room.

"Oh god," Rogue put her head in her hands. "Here we go again!"

"If Lance hears about this…" Jubilee realized.

"Don't worry! Avalanche isn't even here now," Pietro waved. "And even if he did, the Misfits have been given orders to make sure that stupid love triangle from Hell never happens again. We even have duct tape on standby."

"That's a relief," Kurt sighed.

CRASH!

"MEN ARE SCUM!" Kitty was heard screaming.

"Yup we are talking a Category Five on the Breakup Scale," Pietro looked upwards. "And that is not good people."

CRASH! SMASH!

"AMANDA! DO YOU KNOW HOW TO DO VOODOO? BECAUSE I NEED TO PUT A CURSE ON SOMEBODY!" Kitty screamed. "A BIG ONE! WAAAAHH!"

"I'll get the ice cream, whipped cream and hot fudge," Rogue sighed.

"I'll get the mallowmars, cheesecake and tissues," Tabitha said.

"And I'll get the girls together for a good old fashioned man hating, girl power cry session," Jubilee sighed. "Frost you want to come?"

"I don't think so," Emma sighed. "I believe the last thing Kitty wants is my sympathies."

"You have a point," Jubilee shrugged. The girls got the supplies and left the room.

"Whoa…" Bobby whistled.

"I know," Pietro gasped. "Wisdom married? Even I didn't see that coming!"

"Neither did I," Kurt said. "I mean none of us knew!"

"Gonna make those Excalibur reunions a lot more interesting isn't it?" Pietro snorted.

"It's a good thing Lance wasn't here," Kurt said. "Where is he anyway?"

"He's doing some political thing at city hall," Pietro shrugged.

"Wow, Lance is sure taking his job as liaison seriously," Kurt was surprised. "He's almost always at city hall nowadays."

"I still think it's weird that Lance was chosen to be the Misfits' representative at City Hall," Bobby frowned.

"Not really," Emma sighed.

"Why is that?" Kurt asked.

Emma paused. "Let's just say he can be very persuasive. Especially to the right audience."

CRASH!

"PETE WISDOM YOU ARE GOING TO WISH YOU WERE NEVER BORN!" Kitty screamed.

"And that is my cue to leave before something is set on fire," Emma sighed as she left the kitchen.

"Kitty wouldn't set us on fire, would she?" Bobby asked.

"I don't think so but just to be safe I'm not letting her have any access to matches," Kurt gulped.

"I really should tell them," Emma grumbled to herself and walked the hallway. "Oh well, they'll find out soon enough. Not like they would believe me anyway."

"Find out what?" Todd walked behind her. "Lance's little secret?"

"AAAH! You nearly gave me a heart attack you…" Emma startled.

"I've been working on my ninja skills!" Todd said proudly. "Neat huh?"

"Wonderful," Emma groaned. "I'm guessing you Misfits know about…?"

"Not all of us," Todd admitted. "Certainly not Al. Just you know…Me, Fred, Pietro and Pyro."

"Not Althea?" Emma asked.

"Well uh, you know…Lance kind of told us guys about this in private," Todd scratched his head. "You know us guys…We kind of keep our mouths shut if we can about our friend's lives. I mean there's just some things we can't tell our girlfriends ya know? You see…"

"I have seen How I Met Your Mother," Emma interrupted. "I am aware of the 'bro code'. And keeping this secret is pretty ridiculous! People will find out anyway!"

"Well if you're so uptight about it why don't you say something?" Todd asked.

"Are you insane?" Emma asked. "Let me rephrase that. Get involved in that quagmire? No thank you. It will implode enough without my help! Besides this…situation does benefit us for the moment. And Lance is twenty one now right?"

"Oh yeah," Todd nodded.

"So since he is an adult there is no legal grey area," Emma said. "Admittedly a moral grey area but then again it's not uncommon in politics. Staying out of it is the best strategy for this situation."

"Not to mention plausible denial when and if Al and the others do find out, right?" Todd asked.

"Exactly," Emma said. "Well it's nice that we had this little chat."

"It's nice to talk and have secrets isn't it?" Todd asked sweetly.

"Quite," Emma grunted her displeasure before walking away.

"I told you she knew!" Todd grunted to the shadows when she was gone. "She's a freaking telepath! There was no way she wasn't gonna snoop around and find out!"

"Okay, okay!" Pietro emerged from his hiding place. "You were right! I owe you a coke! At least she's not gonna say anything."

"Yet," Todd groaned. "She may not be able to mess with our heads but oh boy…Pietro, I really feel bad about keeping secrets from my Sweetie of the Sea!"

"Toad we promised Lance we wouldn't say anything," Pietro glared at him. "Zip it!"

"Yeah but…"

"Zip it!" Pietro made the motion across with his mouth. "We just have to keep our mouths shut and hope Lance knows what he's doing."

"Does Lance ever know what he's doing when it comes to topics like this?" Todd gave him a look.

"You're right," Pietro groaned. "We're screwed."

"No, we're going to get in trouble because Lance is getting…" Todd corrected. Pietro hit his head, motioning the amphibian mutant to keep his mouth shut. "So where is the Master of Disaster anyway?" Todd rubbed his head.

"Where else would he be?" Pietro mocked. "He's having an important meeting at City Hall!"

"Again? This is the fifth time this week!" Todd remarked. "And it's only Tuesday!"

"Well you know how civic minded our dear Avalanche has become," Pietro said sarcastically. "And how he will work tirelessly until the job is done."

"Oh Lance…" Mayor Chen gasped. "I thought you would never finish! Your stamina is incredible."

"You're not so bad yourself, Helen," Lance lay back on the bed. The two were in the Mayor's private residence. Actually they were in her private bedroom in her bed. "Oh sorry about your ceiling."

"No problem," Mayor Chen absently brushed plaster from her body and blankets. "It was worth it."

"Yeah that's one benefit of mutant powers," Lance smirked. "Ow…"

"Ooh, did I hurt you?" Mayor Chen asked as she looked at Lance. "Maybe next time I should be on the bottom?"

"Yeah let's bang your head against the headboard for a while," Lance grumbled as he rubbed his head.

"We'll switch as soon as I untie my hand," Mayor Chen's left arm was tied by a silk tie to the bedpost. Just then her phone rang. "Oh great. Could you get that, honey?"

"Sure…" Lance stretched as far as he could considering his feet were tied with silk ties. "No…problem! Got it!" He handed it to her."

"Mayor Chen, talk to me," Mayor Chen answered it. "What? You're kidding me? Don't we have any legal…? All right. I suppose. I'll call a meeting with the X-Men and Misfits. Uh yes one of their representatives is with me now. We're…having a conference. Fine."

"Trouble?" Lance asked as she hung up the phone.

"You have no idea," Mayor Chen sighed. "We have to call the X-Men and Misfits. But first I think we need to put our clothes on."

"That would be a good idea," Lance said looking around. "Where are they?"

"On the ceiling fan," Mayor Chen sighed. "And it gets worse. I think we tied these knots too tight. I can't untie them."

"Where are the scissors?"

"Where we left them. In the bathroom."

"We really didn't think this through did we?" Lance blinked at the restraints.

Two hours later…

"So Wisdom was married the entire time he was with Kitty?" Scott asked as the X-Men and Misfits got ready for the meeting at the mayor's office. Scott, Rahne and Alex had returned from their mission. Several of the mutant males were in the corner waiting for the meeting to begin.

"I don't believe it," Lance said. He was there with the Mayor. Mayor Chen was talking to Ororo and Althea in the corner.

"Believe it," Kurt said. "Kitty's heartbroken."

"Hey Mayor Chen! I have an idea!" Kitty was heard speaking. "How about passing a law making castration mandatory for male adulterers?"

"Yes, she is just putting up a brave front," Pietro said sarcastically. "And where were you Lance while all this was going on?"

"I was doing city hall stuff," Lance said defensively.

"That's one way of putting it," Pietro snorted to himself.

"Kitty is having a hard time," Peter looked at Lance cautiously. "And she…"

"Relax Russkie," Lance interrupted. "I'm not interested in Kitty anymore! You want her, she's all yours!"

"Really?" Peter was surprised.

"Yup," Lance nodded. "I have learned my lesson."

"Yeah, Lance is learning all sorts of new lessons," Pyro snorted.

Lance hit him on the head. "Ignore him. His medication is wearing off," Lance said. "As I was saying, whatever Kitty and I had…"

"Cause no one can categorize it," Pietro quipped.

Lance scowled. "Whatever Kitty and I had, it's over. That ship has sailed!"

"Yeah Lance is sailing into new and more experienced waters," Pyro cackled.

Lance hit him on the head. "Pyro, your medication is no longer working."

"It is?" Pyro blinked. "I was wondering why the birds were telling me to buy car insurance again."

"Hey Lance," Kitty walked up to them. "I guess you've heard, huh?"

"Yeah, I'm sorry Kitty," Lance said. He really was. "I mean no matter how bad things got between us you didn't deserve what he did to you. That guy's a loser."

"I know," Kitty sighed. "Hey Lance…You think maybe sometime after this we could have a talk or something?"

"You know Peter is much better at this listening stuff than I ever was," Lance said quickly. "Right Colossus?"

"Huh?" Peter blinked.

"What?" Kitty said.

"Yes we all know that Peter is a great guy you can count on for listening," Lance went on. "If there is anything you need, go to Peter."

"Uh yes..." Peter blinked.

"Wait a minute…" Kitty blinked.

"All right everyone we need to get this meeting underway as quickly as possible," Mayor Chen spoke with authority.

"Good idea," Scott said as the group took their places.

"A quick update," Mayor Chen said. "All the damage caused by the Sentinel attack has been officially repaired. And we have completed the new Mutant Support Shelter that will help the mutants of San Francisco as well as any mutant looking for sanctuary."

"What services are we talking about?" Bobby asked.

"Everything from finding a place to live to helping people with their powers," Mayor Chen said. "Not all mutants have no place to go. Some are just there just to be in a safe place with other mutants."

"There are some rooms there so that some mutants who have nowhere to go can find temporary housing, food and a place to shower," Emma explained. "They don't stay there long because many mutants that were already in San Francisco have opened up their homes to them. Not to mention many non mutants. It's amazing how much the mutant community has grown in such a short time."

"We installed a mini danger room to help mutants practice their powers safely," Scott told them. "And we found some mutants that are skilled with their powers including a telepath to help run it."

"Wow this new place has everything," Todd blinked.

"They even have portable stasis chambers equipped with proton batteries in case there are mutants whose powers are too unstable to deal with right now," Althea said. "Trinity made them."

"Unfortunately not everyone is thrilled with this," Mayor Chen sighed. "Even though the majority of the people of San Francisco have no problems with mutants, there are still a few remnants of the FOH and Purity still running around. You've heard of Augustus Bastion? He's coming to meet them all for some big anti-mutant rally."

"What?" Emma asked.

"They're bussing in a large group of anti-mutant demonstrators from all over the country," Mayor Chen sighed. "At the Hilton Convention center downtown."

"Wait isn't that…?" Scott realized.

"Yes, it is," Mayor Chen sighed. "That's why they chose that location."

"They are having a rally right across from the new Mutant Outreach Shelter?" Rogue asked. "Are they nuts?"

"We'll take that to be a rhetorical question," Emma rolled her eyes.

"The Mutant Outreach Shelter is the only place a mutant can go in America since the Institute was shut down," Peter frowned. "It is supposed to be a place of safety."

"And Bastion and his anti-mutant followers will do everything in their power to destroy it," Scott said.

"Of course I warned the shelter but there may be counter protestors so…" Mayor Chen sighed.

"So as usual we got to keep the peace before things get worse," Kitty finished.

"I'm afraid it did just get worse," Fury walked in.

"Of course it did," Scott groaned. "What are you doing here Fury?"

"I think you all better sit down," Fury sighed. "I want you to hear this from me before you hear it on the news. Especially you, Shadowcat."

"It's not my parents?" Kitty's ears perked up.

"No, they're still safe in England," Fury held up his hand. "About an hour ago…Reverend Stryker was pardoned by the governor of New York."

"You're joking," Kitty glared at him. "Tell me that this is some kind of sick joke."

"I'm afraid not. Stryker is headed to San Francisco as we speak," Fury sighed. "He's going to be appearing with Bastion and Kelly at the rally."

"Of course he is," Kitty snarled. "The man has a personal vendetta against me! I'm the one who put him behind bars in the first place!"

"Technically I like to think all of us had a part to play in Stryker's incarceration," Emma said. "But I must admit he is fixated on you."

"You know when those two get together they're not doing it because they want to plan a sleepover?" Rogue asked bitterly. "They're up to something."

"So in other words we have to stop any mutants from trying to kill off those scum bags who want to kill us," Pietro said sarcastically. "Not to mention stop whatever Stryker and Bastion have planned while trying to look like the good guys. Lovely."

Kitty made an annoyed grunt and left the room. "She's had a hard day," Ororo explained.

"Let me guess? She finally found out that Wisdom was married?" Fury asked.

"I'm not even gonna ask how you know that or why you didn't say anything," Rogue glared at Fury.

"I'll go after her," Peter told them. He left the room.

"I'm surprised Lance," Scott blinked. "Normally you would have been running out of here like a shot after Kitty."

"Summers, we broke up! Remember?" Lance gave him a look. "So what are we going to do about this situation?"

"What we always do," Scott said. "Try to keep it from getting worse."

Meanwhile Peter had caught up with Kitty out in the hallway. "Kitty! Kitty please!"

"Go away Peter! I want to be alone!" Kitty snapped.

"That is the last thing you need right now. You haven't had a very good day have you?" Peter sighed.

"Understatement of the freaking year," Kitty groaned. "The thing with Wisdom was bad enough but did Stryker have to pick today to mess with me? Every time I think I've put him behind me, he pops up again! Like a bad rash!"

"Kitty you don't know…" Peter began.

"Peter, he knows the X-Men are here which mean's I'm here! And I'm going to have to take him down again!" Kitty put her hand to her head. "It's enough to give me a headache!"

"We will all take him down together," Peter hugged her. "I promise you, Kitty. We won't let these rabble rousers hurt anyone with their hate talk!"

"I don't know," Kitty frowned. "Call it mutant intuition but there's going to be more at this meeting than speeches. And I have a bad feeling that whatever is coming, is going to be a lot worse than we thought."

Meanwhile on Avalon….

"You know your mission," Phoenix told the Beta Team of X-Shadows. "Do not fail. The future of the mutant race may lie in your hands."

"As you command, Phoenix," Sparkle bowed respectfully. "Stryker, Kelly and Bastion won't know what hit them." She looked exactly like Jubilee except for the streaks of white in her hair and her black uniform.

"You know the X-Men and Misfits aren't just going to let us waltz in and do our jobs?" Shifter, a blue male shape shifter with red hair asked.

"Can't we just talk to them?" Blue Sky, a blue skinned winged mutant female asked. "I'm sure if we explain to them just what's going on…"

"There will be no negotiation! Understand?" Phoenix snapped. "That is why I am sending Spyke and Celandine to assist you. In order to make sure our enemies won't get in your way."

"Of course Phoenix," Sparkle gave a glare to Blue Sky before addressing her leader. "We will carry out our orders without question. Make no mistake, Bastion and Stryker are as good as dead."