Author Note: I can honestly say I have the best readers out there. Thank you all for your support and and PM's. You guys are the BEST!

Special Thanks: My fabulous Beta shwriteme. She's AMAZING and makes everything better. ECyesplease and mommyofboth who let me talk out this entire chapter more times than necessary on a train ride to NYC. Love you both.

Disclaimer: I don't own.

Oh and since it's been forever you might want to go back and re-read the last part of the last chapter...or I could just tell you...Edward FINALLY read the book and he's angry. Angry because he's pretty sure that Bella lied. It's a long chapter guys so prepare yourself.

Chapter 17

BPOV

"Did you see the new one?" I asked from under the noise of the hair dryer. The heat burned against my already flushed cheeks and I strained to get a better view of Alice.

"Which new one are you referring to?" she asked, peeking around the stylist who was working her magic on my damp hair as she rolled it in sections around her round bristle brush.

"The one where she's touching his face." I closed my eyes and saw the image clear as day blazed into the inside of my eyelids.

I'd have thought after a week the image would have lessened, but it hadn't. And it seemed that every day the magazines or gossip sites would release another picture of Rosalie with Edward. First it was pictures of them leaving a restaurant and then pictures of Rosalie climbing into his car. Each one etched itself into my memory and made my stomach drop.

The loud hum of the dryer shut off and I lifted my head, looking at my pale reflection—the flush of pink cheeks and red ears. My hair was frizzy and untamed, ready to be sculpted into something beautiful.

"So have you heard from him yet today?" Alice fiddled with the clips and silk floral hairpieces on the counter in front of me.

"No. He knows I'm your slave today so he may not want to bother me." I teased, as the first of many products was slathered into my hair.

"Ha-ha, very funny-and I don't know. From what you've said about his flirty texts I don't think a hair appointment would stop him."

I felt my already warm cheeks burn red. The past few weeks I'd noticed a slight change in Edward's emails and texts. They were definitely more playful. At first I didn't know how to respond, but eventually I found myself teasing him back. Of course, I accidentally mentioned it to Alice one day over lunch.

"What do you mean by playful? What does he say?" She had asked, perched on the edge of her seat, eyes wide, waiting on baited breath.

"I don't know, just stuff." I lazily pulled my fork across my plate, pushing around the large chunks of soggy croutons.

"Stuff? Seriously? You're going with 'stuff'? You're a New York Times best selling author and stuff is the best you can come up with?"

I sighed and felt my shoulders drop. I should have known bringing Edward up in the conversation with Alice would result in me giving up every last detail. Then again, didn't I want someone to share it with? Didn't I want someone to tell me what all of it meant? Alice was always that person so why was I keeping it from her? Realizing there wasn't a valid reason, I pulled out my phone and flipped through the last few texts I'd received from him. I read through a few and felt my cheeks warm.

"Oh boy, they must be good." Alice's voice rose higher and I saw her slight form bounce out of the corner of my eye.

I held back my smile and pulled up a text that I'd saved from our conversation-the day I first started yoga. I told her the gist of our conversation and how I had said I wasn't sure I'd like it even though she said it would be good for me. She smiled triumphantly because she was right-I did end up enjoying it.

"And what was his response?" she asked.

"He said that it sounds like you can get me to anything and…" I trailed off biting the inside of my cheeks as I prepared to read the rest of it. "And he said that I'd probably end up liking it although my-my body doesn't need it."

I looked up at her wide golden eyes. "What did you say back?"

I scrunched my eyebrows as if trying to remember what I'd said. When in reality I knew exactly what my response was. I finally faked recognition.

"I said something about it being good for me and that you can never be too flexible."

"And?" she asked, waiting for the rest of it.

"And he said flexibility is a good thing, a very good thing." There was no keeping the smile off my face as I locked eyes with Alice. Her smile matched my own and we both fell into a fit of giggles.

After catching my breath enough to speak I told her about a few other texts. Like the time he brought up my lack of rock band skills, again, and told me that the next time we played he'd give me a private lesson. I felt like a school girl as I dished and told Alice every little detail, even the most insignificant thing.

"Bella," Alice said, looking at me with a knowing smirk. "I don't know what you're thinking but he's not just being playful. He's flirting with you."

"No, he's just being funny and teasing me." I'd shaken my head denying her words but felt the erratic thumping of my heart.

Her words had made the little spark of hope that'd been burning inside me pulse with life. As I thought that maybe, just maybe she was right.

Over the next few days I couldn't get Alice's words out of my head. With every text and email from Edward I asked myself if he was flirting or not. On some occasions I was positive he was and other times I wasn't so sure. Either way, I was enjoying it. I told myself to stop questioning and just go with it.

Of course, then the pictures started showing up and I couldn't help but question everything. What was he doing flirting with me if he was with Rosalie Hale? Was he with Rosalie? Did I even want to know the answer to that? What would I do if they were together?

"I doubt they're really dating." Alice said, answering my unspoken question and breaking me from my thoughts.

"What makes you think they aren't? Look at the way she's looking at him Alice." I picked up the magazine and showed it to her.

She grabbed it and tossed it aside, paying it no attention. "She's just looking at his face. What is she supposed to do? Look at her feet while she talks to him?"

I rolled my eyes knowing she was right. I still had my doubts though, which didn't go unnoticed by Alice.

"You said yourself they were friends, right?"

"Yes, but-"

"So, they're friends, end of story." She handed the stylist, who up until this point I'd forgotten was even there, a bottle of product and looked back at my reflection. "Unless, of course you're planning on asking him if there is something going on between them?"

"Sure, sure. Right after I confess my undying love for him-that will be next on my list."

Now it was Alice's turn to roll her eyes. "I'm serious you know. You should ask him."

"Alice, I'm having a hard enough time psyching myself up to tell him I lied, about the book and my feelings. Let me tackle one thing at a time."

"Alright, alright," she said, holding up her hands in surrender.

Without saying another word she turned her attention to the stylist. The two of them started into a conversation about my hair and I took the moment to dwell on the predicament I had put myself in.

Ever since realizing that I couldn't have Edward in my life as only my friend, I'd been struggling with the best way to tell him the truth. I knew I couldn't do it in a text or email. And although the phone might be an option, I still knew it wasn't good enough. If I was going to tell the truth and finally lay everything out there, I was going to do it in person. Of course this was a lot easier said than done.

I tried to imagine how things would go-each time a different way. Sometimes I would just bluntly tell him and then walk away feeling ridiculous. Other times, I'd stand there fidgeting and nervous, stumbling through my explanation.

I never let myself think about how he'd react to my news. After all, it didn't matter how he reacted. What mattered was that he'd know the truth and I wouldn't be lying anymore. Or atleast that's what I told myself.

The sound of my phone, signaling a text, broke my train of thought and my heart instinctively thumped within my chest. I took a deep breath and told myself it probably wasn't even him. Besides, he knew that I was at the salon today with Alice.

I kept my head down and tried to focus on the sharp stinging pain of my hair being pulled and pinned and not the desire I had to grab my phone from my purse and make sure it wasn't Edward texting me.

"Well are you going to sit there all day or are you going to check?" Alice asked, leaning down to get a better look at me.

"It's probably not him. He knows I'm here and-" As I spoke, Alice huffed and dug into my bag.

With a satisfied smirk she eyed the screen. "One new message from Edward." She giggled before handing it over to me.

I fumbled with the buttons and opened the text, holding my breath.

"Breathe Bella. I can't have you passing out and ruining your hair."

With a shaky exhale, I felt the tension in my chest release and I clicked the button.

How did the "trial hair" go?

Alice's hand came to a rest on my shoulder as she knelt down beside me to look attempt a look at the screen.

"What did he say? Is it flirty? What did he say? What are you going to respond with?" she spoke quickly, running one question into the next without taking a breath.

I held the phone off to the side so Alice could read it and typed back my response.

Good, but now I have a headache. They must think I'll be taking on a tornado with all the pins they put in.

"Hey! I just want to make sure it stays in place." Alice snarled at the insult, still reading over my shoulder. "You don't want it falling out while you're dancing do you?"

I looked up at her face with raised eyebrows. "Dancing? Alice, I don't dance. You know that."

She waved her hand around as if my words meant nothing. "I know, I know. You'll only have the one dance with the wedding party, I promise. Besides, Jacob has dealt with your lack of coordination before. He can handle it."

I opened my mouth ready to defend myself but she had already stared back into a conversation with the stylist. My phone buzzed in my hands and I looked down at the screen.

From what you've said, Alice is like a tornado.

I stifled back a laugh and peeked over my shoulder to make sure Alice wasn't looking as I typed a response.

She is. Perhaps they're onto something. What are you up to?

Just lying in bed wondering what you're doing.

With a smile I shook my head. Laying in bed and thinking of me? Why Edward I had no idea…

You didn't know I lay around all day and think of you? It's my new job. Dream of Bella, think of Bella, fantasize about Bella, think of Bella some more. I'm thinking of declaring it as my new profession. What do you think?

Fantasize about me? As I read his words I felt the heat from my cheeks spread throughout my entire body. Closing my eyes, I sat back and sighed. I'd been fantasizing about Edward for longer than I could even remember and the thought of him doing the same made my head spin and my legs weak.

"Oh boy. From the look on your face, you've either just had a mini orgasm or you've eaten a damn good piece of chocolate."

I looked up at Alice's reflection in the mirror and wordlessly handed her my phone.

Her eyes widened as she read. "Yep, mini orgasm," she confirmed, with a nod of her head. She placed my phone back in my hands and opened her mouth to speak but squealed instead. Long arms wrapped around her waist and I saw the unmistakable blond locks of Jasper nuzzling into her neck. While the two of them shared a quiet conversation I turned my attention back to my own quiet conversation with Edward.

I laughed when I read his description of his job title and blushed when I told him I'd need full description of his fantasies. By the time our flirtatious banter ended I was flushed and tingling. Yes, I was tingling from texts.

I sighed quietly to myself and dared to imagine what he would write if he were to actually describe his fantasies to me. How did he imagine me? Would he kiss me like he couldn't get enough? Or would he take his time exploring? Did he imagine what I'd look like beneath him, naked, pressed close? Would he be gentle or would he rip my clothes off?

Just thinking about it was enough to drive me insane. I pressed my thighs together and bit back a moan.

Get a grip, Bella. This is not helping things.

I shook my head and told myself to focus on anything other than the ache between my legs. With a resolved sigh, I grabbed the magazine from the counter and attempted to get lost within its pages.

It worked, until I saw another picture of Edward and Rosalie. It was similar to the others, only shot from a different angle. Edward Cullen and Rosalie Hale, Hollywood's most beautiful couple, was written in small font under the photograph.

I read the caption a few times and felt the heaviness of the words sink in the pit of my stomach. I didn't know if they were in fact a couple but there was no denying that they looked like a perfect pair. They were both beautiful and highly successful actors. Everything about them matched and as much as it pained me to admit. I always expected Edward to end up with someone like Rosalie-someone tall and stunning and—

"Don't do that." Jaspers voice cut into my thoughts.

I put the magazine down and turned around in my chair. He was standing alone. I hadn't even noticed that Alice and the stylist had left.

"Don't do what?" I asked, wondering what he could possibly be talking about.

"Don't compare yourself to her, or anyone, for that matter."

"Jasper I-"

He held up his hand and continued talking. "You're an amazing, beautiful woman Bella. And I can promise you that he thinks the same thing."

I felt my cheeks get warm as I dropped my eyes. "Thanks."

"Just being honest." He smiled down at me and I saw nothing but sincerity in his eyes. I wasn't sure what Edwards's thoughts were, but at the moment, I wasn't going to challenge Jaspers' comment. It was too much fun imagining that perhaps he was right. So without any awkward pauses, we fell into our normal ease of conversation. He filled me in on his plan for a wedding gift-and swore me to secrecy-and I confirmed his suspicions that she would indeed love it.

After a few minuets, Alice danced into view with the stylist by her side. Once she was satisfied that my hair was perfect, they discussed plans for the morning of the wedding.

Being the maid of honor, I tried to pay attention and comment when necessary, but my mind wasn't focused. I kept thinking about Edward and the texts and the way his words affected me. Then I thought about Jasper's comment and I wondered if Edward thought I was beautiful.

"Everything is set for next week," Alice said, plopping down in the chair beside me. "They've got a staff of five girls who'll be working with us and they assured me that they'll be able to stick to my schedule." I nodded and promised her that everything would run smoothly.

"So are you gonna tell me what else he said?" she asked, spinning around to face me and curling her feet up beneath her.

I smiled, because of course Alice knew what I was thinking about. She always did. Grabbing my phone I pulled up the last few texts and passed it to her.

She read them with a silent smirk playing on her lips. "Has he sent any other ones?"

She handed my phone back and I read over the texts again. "No, not yet." I shook my head.

"Well, based on those, he'll definitely be in touch again. And soon." She hopped up and reached a hand out to me. "Come on, let's go get Jasper and grab some lunch. I'm starving."

Clutching my phone in one hand and Alice's hand in the other, I let her pull me to my feet. As I took one last look at the magazine that lay open on the counter, I repeated Alice's words from earlier. They're just friends, end of story. I glanced up at the mirror, looked at my reflection and remembered Jasper's words. You're an amazing, beautiful woman, Bella.

I don't know if it was those words or the texts that Edward had sent earlier, but I felt a flash of excitement. For the first time I knew that I'd be able to tell Edward the truth. And for the first time I let myself believe that maybe, just maybe, I might be surprised by his response.

I looked down at the hand that gripped my cell phone and smiled, remembering Edwards' words. Alice was right. He'll definitely be in touch again, and soon.

…

Alice's wedding came in a whirlwind of tulips and daffodils on the first day of spring. She was the most beautiful bride I'd ever seen and, from the look on Jaspers face, he felt the same way.

I fulfilled every responsibility of a good maid of honor. I made sure her dress was perfect for every picture. I held her flowers when she needed me to. I carried a tissue so her mascara wouldn't run down her face when she cried. I even held her dress for her while she used the bathroom. I was there for her every need yet-I wasn't really there at all.

And that's because I hadn't heard from Edward.

Unless you consider the brief, 'sorry I haven't been able to talk, really busy' text I got from him three days ago, a legitimate response. I told myself that he was just as he said, busy. But no matter how many times I repeated it over in my mind, I had a feeling something more was wrong.

The confidence I felt a week ago was fading and I was still questioning myself when I got on the plane for Portland.

"Would you like a drink before take off?" the flight attendant's sweet voice asked.

I released my bottom lip from between my teeth long enough to nod and ask for a coke. Taking a deep breath, I sat back and sipped on the syrupy liquid, hoping it would help settle the nerves in my stomach.

For the past few days I'd been in a constant state of tension. Each day that passed without a response from Edward, it grew worse. I kept asking myself why he hadn't called or texted? And every time I came up with nothing. My entire body ached from stress and fear and it seemed as if relaxing was not going to be an option any time soon.

At least until I talked with Edward.

Oh God. Fear pricked up my spine at the simple thought of finally speaking with him. I'd waited for so long. For years I'd tried to move on, tried to love others but it was impossible. No one ever measured up. No one was him. Edward is all I've ever wanted. And the knowledge that he had the ability to tear me apart or make my every dream come true terrified me.

Attempting to focus on anything else, I nervously looked around the plane and concentrated all my thoughts on the people walking down the aisle.

Just as the last few passengers were boarding the plane, my phone beeped signaling a text. Up until that point I hadn't realized my cell was still on. The old lady in fur who sat beside me lifted her chin and glared down at me.

I felt the heat rise up my neck and to my cheeks. "Must have forgotten to turn it off." I mumbled under my breath while digging through my bag.

Quickly grabbing my phone I turned away from her disapproving stare.

Stop worrying. Everything will be fine. Telling him is the right thing to do and you know it. Be brave like Katherine. You wrote her that way for a reason. You can do this. I love you, fly safe and text me when you land. –Ali

How does she do that? I wondered as I read through her text a second time. Alice always had a way of knowing exactly what I needed to hear and when I needed to hear it. Even if it required her sending a text while on her honeymoon. I laughed quietly and powered off my phone.

Sitting back in my chair, I closed my eyes and repeated Alice's words, hoping that by some miracle they would actually make me braver.

…..

Three hours later, when the wheels touched down in Portland, I wasn't sure if it had worked, but I told myself it had.

Happy to be off the stuffy plane, I made my way through the crowds of the airport, sure to keep my eyes away from the shelves lined with magazines. A week ago, I decided to swear off celebrity magazines. Actually, it was Alice who insisted upon it, insisting that it would only make me miserable and make me doubt what I had to do. I agreed wholeheartedly. After all, who wants to see the man she loves with another woman?

Keeping my eyes forward, I made my way down to baggage claim where a representative from the Studio was waiting. I'd assured Charlotte before I left that I wouldn't need transportation. And that I was more than capable of renting a car and driving to the set. But she insisted that the studio wanted to make my visit as easy as possible and would take care of everything.

It wasn't hard to spot the man in the suit holding the sign with my name. I approached him and offered a friendly smile.

"Isabella Swan?" he confirmed.

I nodded. "Bella," I said, correcting him.

"Do you have any bags checked?"

"No, just this one carry-on." I looked down at my bag and smiled, remembering Alice's words earlier in the week when she insisted on helping me pack.

"One bag!" she had said. "One bag and it's not even a full size one. This is an important trip, Bella. How are you supposed to fit everything into that one tissue sized box suitcase?"

I had assured her that my three day trip to Portland didn't require anything bigger and after a bit of persuading, she gave in with the promise that I'd at least let her help me pack.

Apparently she was an "expert" when it came to fitting an insane amount of clothing into one small carry-on. I'm still shocked with the end result.

"Alright then, I'll just take this and we'll be on our way." The driver grasped the handle of my bag and started walking towards the rotating doors.

I followed behind him and, with every step I felt my heart rate increase, a heavy rhythmic pounding against my chest. Up until this point I'd done a pretty good job of staying calm. Minus the moment on the plane where I thought I might throw up. I spent the majority of the flight writing and anytime my mind started to panic with thoughts of Edward and what he would say and why he hadn't called and whether or not he was dating Rosalie Hale, I'd force myself to repeat Alice's words. I'd take a calming breath and in a matter of seconds I'd be back on track.

But now? Now was a different story. And I'm pretty sure that was because I was here, actually here, in Portland where he was.

My chest was still tight and the palms of my hands sweating as the driver opened the door of a black SUV. I inhaled, letting the damp northwestern air fill my lungs and looked up at the cloudy sky.

You can do this Bella.

I closed my eyes and with an exhale climbed into the back seat. The door closed with a gentle click and the dark tinted windows shut out what little daylight there was. I watched as the driver climbed in and got situated. After a moment he looked back at me in the rearview mirror.

"I've been told to take you right to the set but I'm sure if you'd prefer, we could make a stop off at the hotel first."

I hesitated for only half a second. "No, that's okay. The set is fine." I may have been nervous but the thought of seeing Edward all the sooner made my body come alive with anticipation. Not to mention the fact that I was about to be on the set of the movie based on my book. I remembered the surreal feeling I had looking over the pictures while in LA. This was bound to be even more amazing.

I bit back a nervous laugh and got out my cell phone.

I'm here. Nervous but excited. I'm going right to the set. I still can't believe this is happening!

With Alice's fast fingers it took all of ten seconds to get a response.

Believe it. You worked so hard on that book and it's amazing. It deserves to be made into a movie.
Have you decided when you'll talk to him?

I thought over her question and realized that I hadn't decided yet. I wasn't sure what Edwards schedule was like and I knew I wanted some time alone with him. There was no way I'd risk an interruption during that conversation.

Don't know yet. I figure I'll wait until I find out what his schedule is like.

Alice agreed that my decision to play it by ear was best and continued to send random texts during my drive. I didn't know if she could sense my nervousness or if she was really bored and wanted to talk. Either way I was thankful for the distraction.

When I finally felt the car come to a stop, my heart skipped. I looked out the window and saw that we were parked in front of a school. There were large tents and trailers everywhere I looked and people navigating their way through equipment that looked foreign to me.

I reached for the handle of the door but it flew open before I touched it. The sunlight blinded me momentarily and I could barely make out the light blonde haired girl who was smiling at me.

"Hi," she said, tucking her, straight as corn silk, hair behind her ear. "I'm Kate. Edward's assistant."

Butterflies flitted around in my stomach at the mention of his name and I couldn't withhold the smile that took my lips. "I'm Bella," I climbed out of the car and shook her outstretched hand.

"Edward asked if I'd meet you here first before any of the assistant directors got hold of you."

He asked that she meet me? So maybe nothing is wrong. Maybe he really has just been busy. I tossed the idea around in my head for a moment and didn't even notice that Kate had continued talking.

"…and you could follow one of those AD's around for hours before they take you to where the action is." She laughed

I nodded and smiled with her pretending I knew what she was talking about. Come on, Bella. Focus. It shouldn't be that hard.

Forcing all thoughts of Edward from my mind I focused on Kate and everything she said. She pointed out things as we walked, and I willingly absorbed everything. I'd only ever seen movie sets from 'behind the scenes' footage on DVD's and from pictures online. So actually being on one was amazing. There was so much involved that I wasn't even aware of.

Kate randomly stopped to introduce me to people, which resulted in signing copies of my book or posing for pictures. It shocked me how many people on set were not only fans but some of them actually jumped at the chance to work on the film primarily because of my book.

Before I knew it we were walking into the school and through the locker lined hallways. Everywhere I looked were posters and flyers with the name 'Brandywine High School' printed on them. It was just as I thought it would be, like stepping into a memory or a dream.

Kate slowed her pace when we reached the corner and I noticed the amount of people standing around easily doubled. About forty feet away, at the opposite end of the hall I could see the bright lights and cameras.

"Bella, are you coming?" Kate asked, looking down at me with confused eyes.

I hadn't noticed that I'd stopped walking, but apparently I had. My feet felt heavy and the tips of my fingers were tingling. Forcing myself to break the nervous trance I was in, I nodded and attempted a smile.

"Yeah, sorry, I was just taking it all in."

Without hesitation Kate smiled back and took a step toward me. "Don't apologize. I can only imagine what this would feel like for you. It's got to be crazy seeing your book come to life like this."

As she spoke the man who stood behind her moved out of the way and suddenly it was like time slowed down. Standing just a few feet away, in the light, was Edward. He was half hidden behind a camera and I could hardly see him. But he was talking with Stefan and Vladimir, the two directors I'd met in LA, and there was definitely no mistaking his copper colored hair or his perfect jaw line.

Edward.

As if he could hear my very thoughts his head snapped to the side and his eyes met mine. My heart instantly went into overdrive and my body felt warm. I looked at him and couldn't hold back my smile.

The corners of his lips curled up only slightly and he quickly nodded his head in acknowledgment before turning his attention back to Vladimir.

I dropped my head and felt the familiar heat spread up my neck until it covered my cheeks. His welcome wasn't what I expected it to be, yet I had no clue what I was really expecting. In my dreams he would run over to me and pull me into a hug, laughing and saying that it was great to see me again. But in reality I knew that would never happen, at least not quite like that. I did however expect something more than a nod and cold smile.

Wait, cold? Is that what that was?

Well it definitely wasn't warm.

Yeah, well he's working. He's talking to the director, what do you expect?

I didn't get a chance to question or analyze my thoughts before Kate started walking away from me and closer to Edward. She glanced back over her shoulder and gave a silent 'are you coming' look.

One part of me, the scared part that had feared for the last few weeks that Edward was upset with me or that something was wrong, wanted to run away in the opposite direction. The other part of me, the new brave part that was done lying to him and was going to tell him the truth even if it killed me, rolled back her shoulders and took a step forward.

Apparently the brave side was stronger than I thought and I found myself following after Kate with my head held high forcing myself to ignore the frantic way in which my heart was pounding.

"Isabella!" Stefan crooned as soon as he saw me approach. "So good to see you again."

"Please, call me Bella," I corrected as he wrapped an arm around my shoulder.

"Yes, yes of course," he said, casually. "Did Edward's assistant Kate show you around the set?"

"A little bit, yes. It's all so amazing. I knew it would be great when I saw the pictures but this is just-surreal."

My eyes automatically danced over to where Edward stood and I noticed that Rosalie, Jane and the guy who was playing Mike, or should I say 'Matthew', had joined in the conversation with Vladimir. Try as I may I couldn't keep my eyes off Edward and Rose, standing side by side. Wondering what they were to each other and studying their every motion.

I was faintly aware of Stefan talking and it wasn't until I noticed his silence that I looked away.

"I'm sorry, what?" I asked blushing.

"I said, we're going to shoot this scene again, if you'd like to have a seat and watch you may." He pointed to a chair and smiled kindly before turning his attention to one of the camera men.

I sat down silently and watched as the crew went about their work, but it didn't take long for my primary focus to turn back to Edward. I tried not to stare but I was pretty sure it wasn't working.

There was something about being within a ten foot radius of him that made me lose all control over my body. I couldn't breathe without imagining that I could smell him, I couldn't stand without feeling weak in my knees and I couldn't-not stare-at him. Especially when he stood with his hands in his back pocket and shifted his weight from one foot to the other and most definitely not when he ran his fingers through his hair like he was doing at the moment. Then as if the gods wanted to punish me even more, he started laughing. It was his laugh. The one where his mouth opened into a wide smile making his nose scrunch up slightly. The same laugh that I'd heard plenty of times before and still made me melt.

Without warning Edward glanced over to me. My entire body tensed and I sucked in a ragged breath. I forced a smile to my face, hoping that maybe his reaction earlier- or should I say, lack there of, was a fluke.

His reaction this time was different. Different and worse. This time the corners of his lips didn't even rise. He held my gaze for a few seconds and I tried in that brief moment to understand what he was thinking. Then, before I had a chance to process anything his eyes dropped to the floor. In one fluid motion, he turned his back to me.

It was such a simple act and might have meant nothing, but to me it meant-everything. My heart and stomach twisted in knotted bewilderment.

Is he angry? What did I do?

I couldn't understand why he was acting like that. I hadn't done anything but smile and I couldn't think of anything that I'd said in the past few weeks to upset him.

Biting back the emotion that bubbled up inside me, I swallowed thickly and looked down into my lap. I counted the chunky cotton threads of my sweater a dozen times and didn't look up until I heard them call 'action'.

The scene they were filming was one of many that I experienced throughout high school. And being here in the hallway with its shiny commercial grade flooring and drab painted metal lockers made me feel as if I'd transported back in time. Though the scene they were filming differed a little from the way it actually happened, it was still close enough to feel surreal. I watched the scene play out before me and remembered it like it was yesterday.

It'd been about two weeks after I'd first seen Edward and Tanya holding hands. The word around the school had been that they were officially dating. Besides the obvious disappointment and heartache I'd felt, I was also upset. Upset because he was supposed to be my friend and never once had he told me directly that they were dating. Of course at the time it was truly the last thing I'd wanted to hear coming from him. It would simply have hurt too much.

8 years ago

"I still can't believe he hasn't said anything." I said, slamming my truck door, sending specks of rust to the pavement. "I mean, what does he think-I'm living under a rock?" I looked at Angela with raised eyebrows. I wasn't close to being finished with my rant. She sensed this and kept quiet.

"The entire school knows and yet he hasn't said a word to me." I continued, tossing my back pack over my shoulder. "We're supposed to be friends. And ever since he's started dating her he's barely even speaking to me."

I took a deep breath and reveled in the release I felt. For the first time I was feeling something other than hurt and rejection. I was feeling anger and frustration. Granted there was still an underlying heavy ache of sadness in the pit of my stomach, but I was trying to get over it. I'd already come to grips with the fact that I would probably never have Edward as more than a friend. And as much as that pained me, it was even worse imagining not having him as a friend at all.

"So, are you going to ignore him?" Angela asked, tucking her hair behind her ear.

"Yes. No. I don't know." I blew my bangs out of the way with a huff. "We got paired together for that English paper on the Revolutionary war. So I can't really ignore him. Plus I-I'm not really mad at him. I just-"

"I know." She cut me off as her eyes dashed to mine. We were both silent for a moment as we walked, taking in the loud sounds that filled the hallway before first period. Suddenly Angela stopped. "Mike's going to ask you to the dance this weekend," she blurted.

"What!" I turned to face her, eyes wide. "Where did you hear that?"

Her eyes looked down briefly and then back at me. "Ben might have told me last night on the phone."

"And you decide to wait until now to tell me?"

"Sorry, but you were kind of on a tangent." She twirled her hands nervously. "I wanted you to vent and then you did but then-well then I wanted to change the subject and I'm sorry that I didn't tell you sooner I just thought that maybe-"

"Angela, it's okay." I said, stopping her apologetic rambling. "Isn't he going after Jessica?"

"He was, but apparently they got into some fight and he decided she's too dramatic for him."

I sighed realizing that if Mike was no longer interested in Jessica then his attention would be focused on me. "This is going to be exhausting," I said, voicing my thoughts aloud. "I just don't feel like dodging Mike today."

She was quiet for a second then looked at me with a half smile. "Then don't dodge him," she said, shrugging her shoulders before turning into her classroom with out a second glace.

I opened my mouth to ask if she was being serious or laugh or-something. But all I could do was gape. Other kids walked past me and hurried to their class and somewhere in the back of my mind I knew I should be walking but I just couldn't. I stood silently thinking over Angela's words and wondered if she was being serious.

Mike?

Still lost in thought, and five minutes late, I walked into English class and made my way to my seat, ignoring the glare of disapproval that Mrs. Thompson was surely giving me. I dug out my notebook and opened to a blank page, staring at the light blue lines.

Somewhere between trying to picture myself saying yes to Mike and imagining actually enjoying myself with Mike, I felt the weight of someone watching me. The tiny hairs on the back of my neck stood on end I felt a faint tingling up my spine. Without a thought I turned my head in the direction of Edward.

As soon as I did, I met his green eyes and I froze. He was watching me. I felt the color rise to my cheeks and I wanted to look away, but I couldn't. I might have been angry with him but it wouldn't stop me from looking at him.

I was faintly aware of the fact that Mrs. Thompson had started talking and there was movement around the room. Someone walked in front of me, officially cutting my eye contact with Edward. I wanted to scream at the person for being an idiot, but I bit down on my tongue and waited for them to move out of the way. Once they did it was too late. Edward was no longer in his seat. I sat up straight in my chair and was attempting to turn around when I heard my name.

"Hey, Bella." I spun and found Mike, standing in front of my desk with his pencil tucked behind his ear. I took the moment to really look at him. He really wasn't a bad looking guy. In fact if I wasn't comparing him to Edward, I'd say he was good looking-attractive even. He had a friendly face and light blue eyes that were easy to read and always looked kind.

I could go to a dance with him right?

"Hi Mike. How's it going?"

"Great." He smiled, looking highly excited for someone who was just asked a simple question.

I kind of nodded my head and looked down at my notebook wondering what he'd say next. Wondering if he'd actually ask me out, like Angela had said.

"Well hey, look, I uh-I wanted to ask you what your plans were for this weekend. There's a dance and I know that you usually don't like to go to dances, but I was thinking that we could go out to dinner before and then-"

"Sure." I said, without even thinking. I hated being put on the spot.

Sure? Did I just say sure? Apparently I've lost my mind.

"Yeah? You'll go?" Mike asked, both sounding and looking hopeful.

I scrambled for an out. Some way to take back that one casual word that poured from my mouth without my control but I couldn't find a thing. I was stuck. Briefly closing my eyes I told myself to relax.

I can handle this. It's only one date.

When my eyes opened I came face to face with not only Mike but Edward, who was looking down at me with an expression I couldn't quite read. My eyes went wide in shock. After the way Edward had been acting all week he was the last person I expected to approach me.

I looked from him to Mike and back again and at that moment it hit me. If Edward could date someone, so could I. Granted he's not the one I want to be with, but I could at least have a fun time. Maybe.

I offered Edward a smile and looked back to Mike who hadn't taken his eyes off me.

"What time will you pick me up?"

"Uh-er-five? Does five sound okay?" he asked, looking puzzled.

"Five is great. See you then." Without giving him a second glance, I turned my attention to Edward. I nodded in acknowledgment, refusing to be the first one to speak. Maybe I was being a little stubborn.

"Hi, how's it going?" He smiled, sitting down on the edge of my desk. The tone of his voice and carefree attitude was a complete 180 from the way he'd been acting the past week and it left me baffled. Why the sudden change?

"So you're talking to me again?" I asked, through narrowed eyes.

"I never stopped talking to you."

"Sure you did. You've practically ignored me for the past week."

"Bella I wasn't ignoring you I-" I looked at him with accusing eyes and he stopped talking. Quickly running his fingers through his hair he dropped his head and waited a beat before speaking again. "I'm sorry," he said before meeting my eyes.

I could have asked if that was it, if that was all he was going to say. The voice in the back of my head was telling me to make him explain himself and to tell him that a simple 'sorry' wasn't good enough. But I couldn't.

There was something about the look in his eyes and the way his stare made my body hot and cold and tingly all at the same time that made any anger I felt melt away. He was sorry, and that's all I needed to hear.

Deciding to push all the emotions aside, I looked up at him. "Just don't do it again,"

I said with a half smile, hoping he'd see that he was forgiven.

He laughed, shaking his head. I got lost in the way his hair fell across his forehead, almost brushing the tips of his lashes. My stomach fluttered and my heart skipped. Clearly there was no such thing as 'pushing all emotions aside.'

"When do you want to get together to work on our paper?" he asked, grabbing my pen and spinning it around the smooth surface of the desk.

I waited a half a beat to answer. "I'm free today after school." I said, trying not to sound too anxious. He was taken after all and the sooner I realized that the better.

"Uhh, today won't work. Tanya and I are going out." For half a second I thought he looked hesitant but in an instant the look was gone.

I swallowed down my immediate disappointment and tried to ignore the sharp sting that slices through my chest. I knew I'd hear her name eventually, especially since Edward and I were friends but it didn't make it hurt any less.

Deciding that I couldn't trust myself to speak, I stayed quiet and played with the tattered edge of my English book, waiting to see if he'd continue.

"What about tomorrow?" he had asked.

I nodded silently and looked up at him. "Sure. I can do tomorrow."

"Cool." His lips had pulled into a lopsided smirk that he was known for and just as he had opened his mouth to say something else the bell rang. Sometimes I still wondered what it was that he was going to say.

END FLASHBACK

The shrill bell ringing on set woke me from my memories and I blinked, washing away the images from my past. I heard someone call "cut" and waited a beat before looking up to see Rosalie laughing heartily at Edward.

"Looks like Hale and Cullen are enjoying themselves," a scratchy male voice said from behind me.

"Enjoying is right. Those two have been inseparable since they've been on set," another voice said.

My ears perked at hearing Edward's name paired with Rosalie and I found myself leaning back in my chair, desperate to hear the conversation.

"Looks like the papz are right about something for once," the first man continued, His rough tone, grating my nerves. "Those two are definitely together."

"Lucky bastard," the other one chuckled as he walked past me.

I sat silently, frozen in the chair, and repeated the words I'd just heard over in my head. They're definitely together.

For a half second I allowed myself to believe that what I'd heard wasn't true. I mean, how would they know? But then I realized that if anyone knew, it would be members of the cast and crew- people who were around them all day and who have been watching their interactions.

Then like a light turning on I knew why Edward had been acting so different. Why he hadn't been texting or calling like he had been.

He's with her.

My eyes instantly went to Edward, hoping that what I'd see would dismiss my thoughts. But it didn't. He was standing beside Rosalie, the two of them no more than a foot apart, engrossed in what looked like an intimate conversation.

As if the ground was pulled out beneath me, everything dropped- my stomach, my heart and my hope. My head felt light and I was faintly aware of the room starting to spin around me. My eyes fluttered shut and I forced myself to take a breath so I wouldn't pass out.

You knew this was a possibility Bella. I reminded myself. Get some control and just face the facts. You've dealt with this before. You can do it again.

I rolled my eyes; even I knew I couldn't do it again. I'd already decided that. I promised myself that no matter what his relationship was with Rosalie, or any other female for that matter, I'd tell him the truth. No more lies.

Taking another deep breath, I pushed down any emotions that were threatening to spill over and repeated Alice's words from earlier.

Be brave, you can do this.

Somewhere in the middle of my mantra a familiar voice swam into my ears. "Bella," It took a second for my mind to process that it was Stephan who had called me and when I finally looked up I saw him motioning me over.

Though still in a daze I somehow managed to stand to my feet and start walking. I plastered a 'this is business' smile on my face and kept my eyes on Stephan as I approached.

"What did you think of the scene?" he asked.

"It's great. It was great." I said with a nod, still grinning.

"That's because we have great material to work with, thanks to you." I saw the golden blonde hair out of the corner of my eye and turned to see the face that matched the voice. "Hey, it's great to see you again." Rosalie reached out a hand and brushed my arm affectionately.

Part of me wanted to smack her hand away and tell her not to touch me but I just couldn't. No matter how much I wanted to hate her I didn't. She was always nice to me and never once gave me a reason to dislike her.

"Hi, Rosalie. It's good to see you too." I smiled back, willing it to look genuine.

"We were wondering when you'd get here," her eyes dashed over to Edward, who I just noticed had stepped up beside her. "Weren't we?"

He nodded and briefly caught my eyes. "Yeah."

I waited for the smile I wanted so desperately to see, but it never came. Instead Rosalie started talking again, filling the silence.

"Jane's around here somewhere," she said, looking around. "I know she wanted a chance to get to meet you and pick your brain a little bit since she missed you in LA."

I instinctively followed the direction Rosalie looked and didn't see Jane anywhere. "I'd love the chance to meet her," I said. "From what I just saw she's fantastic as Kate."

"She really is." Rosalie nodded. "And of course Edward here is finding a home in the role of Andrew." For the second time in the matter of a minute she nudged Edward playfully trying to get him to join in the conversation.

Without a second thought I turned to him and smiled. "I bet he is. Edward's great at everything he does."

For the first time since I'd arrived on set, Edward looked at me and truly smiled. His vibrant green eyes lit up and I felt the familiar flutter in my stomach. He opened his mouth to speak but was cut off by Stephan.

"Everything is set for dinner tonight at the restaurant down the street from our hotel." He said, settling up beside me.

"Dinner?" Edward and I asked at the same time.

"Ya know…a few members of the cast, two crazy directors. You think you can handle joining us?" Stephan asked with a laugh.

"Dinner, tonight, with the cast?" I repeated. Imagining an evening where I'd be subject to seeing Edward and Rosalie together would be painful but I knew it would grant me the opportunity to talk with Jane. And maybe even plan a time to talk with Edward. That is if he will talk to me.

"I don't know." Edward said before I could speak. I could tell by the tone of his voice and the look on his face that the he wasn't too keen on the idea.

So much for the friendly smile earlier.

"It's just that we've been on set all day-"

"Like that's ever stopped you before," Rosalie cut in, rolling her eyes at him. "We'll be there."

"And what about you, dear Bella?" Stephan looked down at me with a grin.

I could feel the weight of Edwards stare and before I could stop myself I looked over at him. There was something in his eyes that seemed to say he didn't want me to go and the pain of that realization struck me like an anvil.

Dropping my eyes to the ground, I looked anywhere but at him. "Umm, I don't know…I-"

"Come on, you have to go." Rosalie's voice was firm but gentle and it drew my attention. She smiled at me and nodded encouragingly before glancing back to Edward who had just dropped his head. "Besides Jane will be there and like I said before. She's dying to talk to you." She offered me another friendly smile and didn't take her eyes off me until I nodded.

I can do this. I can sit through dinner. Even if Edward doesn't' want me there.

"Alright," I said. "Dinner, I'll be there."

Both Rosalie and Stephan expressed their pleasure in my decision but Edward-Edward didn't say a thing. He simply nodded and turned away, mumbling something about getting ready for the next scene.

I tried to smile, tried to act like what he just did wasn't enough to knock the wind out of me. I plastered on a fake smile and agreed happily when Stephan suggested I stay and watch the next scene. And for the next hour and a half I pretended like everything was fine. I pretended that the ache in my chest wasn't getting stronger with each glance and I pretended not to care that those glances only came a few times.

When it was eventually time to leave, I welcomed the dark interior of the SUV and bit back a silent sob as the driver started the engine.

…..

EPOV

"Are you going to explain to me what that was all about?" Rose asked, walking up beside me.

I just looked over at her and shrugged. "I don't know what you're talking about?" I lied.

"You're kidding right?" She waited a beat and when I didn't say anything she continued. "You've been anxious all day, waiting for Bella to get here." I opened my mouth but was immediately cut off. "Don't try telling me you weren't because I'm not buying it. And you can try to tell me there's nothing going on between you two, but friendship, and I'm not buying that either. You weren't on edge all morning because your friend was coming to visit the set. And then when she finally does show up, you practically ignore her."

I wanted to tell her again that I didn't know what she was talking about, but I didn't. The truth was, I knew exactly what she was talking about.

Ever since Bella arrived on set I'd been on edge. And that was simply because I didn't know how to act around her. I'd been avoiding her for the past week and although I felt awful about it, I didn't know what else to do. After reading her book I knew I needed space and time to think everything over. And that's all I did, think.

I was upset and hurt that one of the few people I could trust, one of the few people I felt really knew me, had lied to me. It kept me awake at night and had my stomach in knots. All the questions, the possibilities, the confusion was too much. And I knew that if I talked to her, I'd break. It wasn't something I could to do over the phone; I had to do it in person. Besides I still wasn't a 100% positive that she had lied, but in my gut I felt I was right—knew I was right.

I made a plan to act as though nothing had changed between us, and to ask her to dinner that evening. That way I'd have plenty of time to think through what I wanted to say. All I had to do was figure out how to ask her, how to pull her aside while she was on set and find out what her plans were.

But when I saw her earlier, it was like time stopped. She was standing in the hallway surrounded by film crew and equipment, in a green sweater and jeans looking as beautiful as ever. She looked back at me with wide eyes and for a second I felt like I was in high school again, looking back at the girl who held every ounce of my attention. Of course with this thought, I was immediately reminded of the book and how she hadn't been honest with me. My plan faded away as the confused, upset, anxious feelings I'd had all week hit me square in the chest.

I had managed a half smile and a nod before I forced myself to look back at Vladimir and focus on what he was saying. It proved to be a lot harder than I thought. My entire being was aware of Bella's presence and, for the first time since high school, I didn't know what to say or how to act around her. And when Stephan asked if Bella would join us for dinner, I realized that if she said yes my plans wouldn't work. I might have failed at acting normal around her all day, but I couldn't fail at following through with my plan to ask her to dinner.

"I wasn't trying to ignore her." I finally said in defense, looking at Rose.

"Sure you were. If you weren't ignoring her, you would have talked to her. You would have smiled at her, and when Stephan invited her to dinner, you would have told her you wanted her to come. Instead you just stood there. So I guess you're right, you weren't ignoring her, you were just being an asshole."

"Rose. What's going on between Bella and me is complicated."

"Look," she held her hands up. "It's clear that I don't know everything but like I said before, it doesn't take a rocket scientist to see that there's something going on between you two. Now I'm not asking for you to tell me, but Edward, if you like her, or even if you're still trying to figure that out. You've got to tell her something. Give her something. Because right now, by the way you just acted, I'd say you've lost your chances."

I looked down the hallway where I'd last seen Bella. She'd left, saying goodbye to everyone and all I'd given her was a head nod. A feeling of panic washed over me. Obviously I hadn't thought through how my silence would be interpreted by Bella.

Have I lost my chance? Is Rose right?

I closed my eyes and silently pleaded that I hadn't.

"You've got a little over an hour to figure out what you're going to say to her." Rose said, interrupting my thoughts. "Because I swear if you sit silent through all of dinner, I'll beat your ass."

Managing a laugh I nodded. "I'm going to head back to the hotel. I'll see you in a little while?"

"I'll be there." She smiled.

…..

My head was spinning as I left the set, my mind full of a thousand things at once. The entire ride to the hotel I thought about what I was going to say to Bella-how I was going to get her away from everyone in order to apologize and ask if we could talk. By the time I made it to my room I had come to decision that I'd make sure to sit next to her at the table. It seemed like the easiest way to ask her quietly without having to pull her aside.

Of course none of that would work if she wouldn't talk to me. After the way I'd treated her on set, I shouldn't be surprised if she didn't.

Way to screw things up already, Cullen.

Running my hands through my hair in frustration, I sat down on the couch and stared at the ceiling. Rose's words filtered though my mind. "You've got to tell her something. Give her something. Because right now, by the way you just acted, I'd say you've lost your chances."

What could I give her? Hopefully my apology would be enough and hopefully she would finally be honest with me in return. But what if it wasn't enough?

I stood up and walked through the double glass doors into the bedroom. There, sitting on the night stand, was the little blue book that started it all. I picked it up and thumbed through the pages, stopping at random sections to read specific parts a second or third time.

Over the past week I'd had plenty of time to dissect the contents and attempt to pin point the parts I knew were real. One of the things that shocked me the most was how wrong Bella was about a lot of it. Her take on my reactions and feelings for her left me confused and I'd spent a lot of time straining to recall the way I remembered it happening.

Some of the memories didn't come easily, but many of them were still vivid in my mind-especially the one at the dance junior year. It was that scene in her book that made me realize that the character of Kate and Andrew weren't just based on us, they were us. And the feelings Kate had for Andrew was the way Bella felt for me.

Flipping to that section in the book, the binding gave way and the pages fell open to the exact scene. I sat down on the edge of the bed and read through her words again, looking at them with fresh eyes, even though I practically had them memorized.

"Do you want to dance?" Andrew looked down at me, the twinkling white lights reflected in his eyes like stars winking in the night sky.

I pretended to glance around for Matthew. Surely I should let my date know that I was going to share the next dance with someone else, but truthfully I didn't care. If Andrew could leave his date then so could I. After all, we were friends, no matter how desperately I wanted otherwise.

"Sure, but I should warn you I'm-"

"Not the best dancer?" he finished, smiling at me with a crooked grin.

I nodded. "Not the best dancer. I swear I get it from my mother. If my dad had this lack of coordination, they never would have let him on the force."

"Don't worry, Kate. I'm a good leader." He held out his hand in a way that was reminiscent of 19th century etiquette. I rolled my eyes and pretended to think him ridiculous, when truthfully my insides were as soft as marshmallow.

Placing my hand in his, I was fairly certain he could feel the heat of my face radiating down through the tips of my fingers. Pulling in a shakey breath, I tugged at the fabric of my dress and pleaded with my feet to stay on even ground as he lead me to the dance floor.

There are moments in life when time ceases to exist. Everything slows down and moves as lava seeping through dark cracks. And dancing with Andrew was one of those moments.

The lights, the sounds, the people—everything around me faded away and all I could see and feel was him. I looked straight ahead, not trusting myself to look at his face, and concentrated on the way the thread looped through the white button on his shirt. It wasn't until I felt the squeeze of his hand in mine and the sound of his voice that I looked up.

"Are you having a good time?"

I felt his warm breath tickle my ear. It was difficult, more difficult than it's ever been for me before, to form a coherent thought with his close proximity. It took me a minute to form a simple thought. "Yeah, I guess. I'm not one for dances, but it's not as bad as I thought it was going to be." I said with a shrug, dropping my eyes.

"Well, for what it's worth. I'm glad you came." I could hear the smile in his voice and started to lift my head when I felt him step closer to me. Or maybe I imagined it. Either way I wasn't going to protest. The heat of his body pressed against mine and it was the most comfortable and exhilarating feeling in the world. Little sparks of electricity pricked up my arms and worked their way through my entire body, setting fires along my skin.

We continued to move together, two bodies in perfect motion and for the first time in my life I felt graceful. I wanted to laugh and tell him that he was accomplishing the impossible, but I didn't want to interrupt the perfect bubble we were encompassed in.

It was as if every emotion, every happy, loving feeling I'd ever had was pulled together in this one moment. My chest felt tight, but not in an uncomfortable way. It was just so full. And my heart? My heart felt like it would explode at any minute.

I'd heard love described before, seen it depicted in movies and read about it in novels but I'd never felt it. Never actually knew it could feel like this. Like this strong emotion that could cripple you with happiness and change the way you see things forever. But now-I knew.

The overwhelming desire to tell him, rushed through me. I didn't care that he was with someone else, didn't care about what my revelation would do to our friendship. All I cared about was him knowing.

My mouth opened and I could feel the words forming on my tongue. I took a deep calming breath.

"Andrew," I said in a hushed voice.

"Yeah?" He stepped back and looked down at me.

"I-"

"Andrew! There you are!" Tammy interrupted, her voice slicing through the bubble that had surrounded us, taking any courage that I'd had with it.

"I've been looking all over for you," she continued. "Some guys want to go out after the dance. You up for that?" Andrew nodded and mumbled something before his eyes dashed over to me.

"You want to come with us, Kate?" he asked.

"No, that's okay. I think I'll head home. I have to get up early tomorrow anyway."

And the idea of seeing the person I love with someone else is too much for me to stomach right now.

"Are you sure? I know Matthew will probably be there."

I wanted to scream and tell him that I wasn't interested in Matthew, that I was in love with him but instead I just shook my head. "No, really, I'm fine."

Tammy leaned in and gave Andrew a kiss on the cheek before turning to walk away, leaving us both on the dance floor again. Only this time I was cautiously aware of the people around us, talking and having a good time. The two of us stood in silence, stealing casual glances at each other.

"So, what were you saying earlier?" he finally asked, his green eyes, meeting my brown.

"Oh-it was nothing—nothing," I lied.

He looked at me with narrowed eyes, as if trying to pull the truth from my mind. His stare was so intense so focused that for a second I thought he might actually accomplish it. Eventually his gaze softened and he looked down, shuffling his feet side to side.

"Alright, well. Thanks for the dance." He smiled, his lips pulling up to one side.

I smiled back and nodded, catching one last glimpse of his face before he turned away. I watched his retreating form and without thinking, let the words pour from my lips.

"I love you."

I snapped the book shut and tossed it on the bed.

"Damn it Bella why didn't you tell me?" I asked aloud to the empty room.

I knew she wanted to tell me something that night. Could see it in her eyes and the way she looked at me.

If she'd only told me how she felt. Things would have been so different. As soon as I thought the words, I felt awful. I knew deep down that she wasn't the only one to blame. After all, I'd never told her how I felt. Sure, I'd tried before but I'd never actually done it. She had no clue of the feelings I had for her, still didn't.

Yet.

Without a second thought I picked up the book and walked over to the desk. Pulling open the drawers I dug through the room service menus until I found a pad of paper and pen. Then flipping open to the first chapter I started writing.

I immersed myself in high school memories. Struggling to remember even the slightest of details the way I remembered them. I had no idea what Bella would think of what I was attempting, but I knew that it was important to me that she knew. That she knew things weren't always what they seemed.

Some time later, I walked into the restaurant with the book tucked under my arm. My heart was racing and the palms of my hands were sweaty. I'd been in such a rush to finish and make it to the restaurant in time that I hadn't had a chance to stop and breathe.

Relax Cullen, just relax. I told myself while running my fingers through my hair.

Taking a deep breath, I rolled my shoulders back and focused on what I was about to do. I knew that I had to take things one step at a time. First things first, I had to get her alone so I could talk to her.

As soon as I walked into the private dining room I knew that was going to be a lot harder than I imagined. And that's because Bella was already there and every chair that surrounded her was taken.

"Well, look who decided to show up." Rose said, gesturing to the one empty chair beside her which happened to be three down from Bella.

"Sorry, I uh…must have lost track of time." I looked directly at Bella hoping to catch her attention but she didn't look in my direction. Quickly sitting down I tucked the book under the leg and leaned over to Rose.

"How late am I?"

"Forty five minutes. You haven't missed much, besides the meal of course." She said giving me an evil glare. "Oh and Stefan's glory stories about working with Tom and Katie on their new project. I swear if he says their name one more time I'm going to puke." She rolled her eyes. "Where were you anyway? Doing something important I hope?"

"You could say that." I casually ran my fingers over the binding of the book and automatically glanced at Bella.

"She hasn't said much." Rose whispered in my ear. "Just kind of came in and sat down. She and Jane talked for a little while but I couldn't hear them from down here. I take it you haven't apologized for the asshole attitude earlier?"

"Not yet. I was hoping to get a minute alone with her."

"Well you better act quickly because she's leaving."

"What?" My head snapped to the side and sure enough Bella was pushing back from the table.

"It was great getting a chance to talk with you guys, thanks again for inviting me," she was saying.

Before I could say a word, she was bidding her farewells and was halfway out the restaurant. Panic rushed over me and I quickly grabbed the book and stood up from the table, knocking my chair over in the process. I think I heard someone speak behind me but I didn't stop. I kept my eyes trained on Bella's retreating form and followed her outside.

"Bella!" I yelled, loud enough so I knew she could hear me. She didn't stop, she just kept walking. I tried again and again, and eventually on the third time she stopped. I ran up beside her, trying to catch my breath.

"What do you want, Edward?" she said, staring straight ahead and not meeting my eyes.

I was confused and pretty sure it showed by the look on my face. "Why are you leaving?"

"Because I'm done with my meal and I want to go back to my hotel," she said.

"Yeah, but weren't you going to say goodbye?"

"Goodbye." She offered what I knew was a fake smile and spun on her heel.

"Wait!" I yelled out, probably louder than necessary.

With a sigh, she paused but didn't turn around. Taking a deep breath I knew this was my chance, and given the way she was acting, it would be my only one.

Where do I start?

"We haven't had a chance to talk all day."

"And whose fault is that? I was on set for a few hours and you barely looked my way."

Guilt gripped me. I dropped my head and diverted my eyes. "I'm sorry, Bella. My mind was-"

"A simple sorry isn't going to be good enough." With clenched fists, she turned to face me. The look in her eyes was something I'd never seen before. Frustration and anger flashed in them. "It may have worked back in high school but we're not in high school anymore. And as an adult, ignoring someone because you have a new girlfriend is childish."

A new girlfriend? This time it won't work? Girlfriend? What?

"What are you talking about?" I asked, baffled.

She rolled her eyes. "Just forget about it, Edward. The past is not important."

"It is important, especially with us." I held the book up. "I read it," I said, looking her in the eyes. They went wide for a second and then relaxed.

"I figured you might." She shrugged.

"So, do you want to explain to me why you lied?"

My words seemed to physically hit her as her shoulders rolled back. "I didn't lie to you."

"Yes you did. You told me that all you did was base Kate and Andrew's friendship on ours. And you told me that you never actually felt that way about me, that you made it all up for the sake of the book. That was a lie."

For the first time since we'd started talking I saw the fierce gleam in her eyes soften and she actually looked scared. "How do you know that?"

"Because I read it," I repeated. "And I don't care how good of a writer you are. Some things you can't fake."

She laughed cynically. "That's what makes a good writer, Edward."

"No. There are too many things that are the same. Too many moments that we shared that were real." She shook her head in denial but I kept going. "Like the time at the dance, for example."

This seemed to catch her off guard and she froze. She didn't have to ask what I was talking about. The question was written all over her face.

"I heard you." I said, looking away from her for the first time while I remembered the past. "I heard you and I thought I imagined the whole thing. We were dancing and you were so close to me." I took a breath, remembering the way I'd felt having her that close. "You were about to tell me something and then Tanya walked up. And when I asked you what you were going to say you told me 'nothing'. I didn't believe you, but then again I had no reason not too." I looked down at her, staring directly in her eyes. "Then I walked away. I walked away and when I did I heard you. You said you loved me. At the time I swore I was just hearing things and I'm pretty positive that I'd always think that. But then I read this." I held up the book. "I read this and I finally know that I wasn't just hearing things. You did say it. Why didn't you ever tell me? And why deny it when I asked you?"

She started shaking her head again and I knew what she was about to say. She was going to tell me that she wasn't lying-that I didn't know what I was talking about.

"Edward, I told you I just-"

"Don't," I said, my anger and frustration bubbling up. "Don't lie again. Just tell me. For once, just be honest with me! Be honest with yourself and tell me how you felt! How you feel."

"Why?" she yelled back. "It doesn't matter anyway. You're with the perfect Rosalie Hale."

"You don't know what you're talking about." I said, clenching my jaw tight.

"Oh, don't I?"

"No. You don't. You don't know what you're talking about now and clearly you didn't know what you were talking about nine years ago." I stepped forward and placed the book in her hands. Without saying another word I turned around and walked back into the restaurant.

BPOV

I watched Edward until he disappeared inside the restaurant and then looked down with tear-filled eyes at the book he'd handed me-my book. I wanted to laugh at the situation I'd gotten myself into. For years, I'd both feared and longed for him to know the truth and twice when faced with the opportunity to tell him, I'd chickened out.

I wanted to tell him, desperately-I did. But after the way he'd acted today and the news of him and Rosalie, I found it pointless. If he wasn't going to be my friend anymore anyway, why bother? I got dressed and ready for dinner knowing that seeing him there, ignoring me and talking to her, would be painful. And it was.

At first I was thankful when he didn't show. I thought that I'd be able to escape the entire situation. But then he came and sat down next to her. Watching the two of them with their heads close together and talking made my head spin. Heaviness set on my chest and I couldn't breathe. Suddenly, getting out of the restaurant was the most important thing in my life.

I finished the last of my meal and left after a quick farewell, anxious to get outside and take a breath of fresh air. I thought for certain I was imagining him calling after me and when I realized that he actually was, I felt confused. Why would he come after me now after ignoring me all day? I felt myself breaking down with every word I spoke until I he said that we hadn't had a chance to talk all day. When he said that something inside of me snapped and I got angry.

"Hadn't had a chance to talk." I repeated aloud into the cold night air and rolled my eyes. "I know exactly whose fault that was and it wasn't mine."

With a frustrated sigh, I adjusted my jacket and started walking up the street to my hotel. As I walked I told myself that I was right for handling the situation as I did. And by the time I reached my room I almost believed myself.

Almost.

The problem was I couldn't erase the image of his face from my mind. I couldn't erase the way his eyes looked and the way his voice pleaded with me to be honest with him. I couldn't ignore the shock I still felt in hearing that he did in fact hear me tell him all those years ago that I loved him. And there was definitely no forgetting his final words, "you don't know what you're talking about."

Pushing open my door, I flicked on a light and walked straight for the bed where I collapsed face first. My arm hung lazily off the corner and I felt the smooth cover of my book slip between my fingers as I relaxed. It fell to the ground and with a soft thud and was followed by the sound of rustling paper. I lifted my head and leaned over, peering over the edge at the open book.

What is that? With narrowed, confused eyes I reached down and picked it up. Flipping through a few chapters I stopped when something caught my eye. Tucked between two pages was a piece of loose leaf paper that I recognized from the hotel. My first reaction was to throw it away but then I saw my name. Out of curiosity I began reading and after the first four lines I stopped. I was fairly certain of what I was reading but was so shocked I couldn't process it-couldn't wrap my mind around it.

Did he write this? I wondered in disbelief even though I already knew the answer.

Written in Edwards hand was a brief but detailed description of the first time he saw me. His first thoughts of the 'girl with pretty dark eyes who drew cool doodles in class'. I felt myself blush and laugh when I read that he had gone home told his mom about me after our first meeting.

After reading the short paragraph that was written I found myself wanting more. I flipped to the next chapter, where I describe Matthew asking Kate out for the first time and discovered another sheet of paper.

"I hated whenever Mike talked to you. I didn't think you were interested in him but I wasn't sure and that irritated me more than anything."

Further down the page he commented on what it was like watching me in gym class.

"…couldn't take my eyes off you. Even though you never hit the ball there was something about watching you that always made me smile. Plus you had amazing legs in those shorts."

I continued to read page after page and still couldn't get enough. He made comments and explanations throughout the entire book, telling me everything from his point of view. Each one left me more in shock than the last.

When I reached the end I closed the book and stared at the wall.

How could this be true? Did he really feel this way and I just never knew, never saw it?

Without a moments hesitation I knew what I needed to do. I needed to know. It was the moment of truth—literally. We needed to clear the air. Anything would be better than this uncertainty. I grasped the book tight in my hand, jumped up and ran from my room, not even bothering to put on my coat.

By the time I made it back to the restaurant, I was panting and out of breath. Forcing myself to take a calming breath I inhaled and made my way back to the private dining room. As soon as I walked in, my heart sank. He wasn't there.

"He went back to the hotel a few minuets ago." A voice startled me and I spun around to find Rosalie putting on her coat.

"Oh, okay." I gave a brief nod and started to leave when she spoke up.

"If you need to get a hold of him, he's in room 515."

"Thanks," I said with a hesitant smile.

"No problem." She smiled back and slipped a hat over her head before walking past me and out of the restaurant.

I waited a minute to catch my bearings and decide what I was going to say. A thousand thoughts and questions barreled through my mind at once and it was practically impossible to come to any solid conclusion. Then I realized that it didn't matter. I'd figure it out when I got there. Stepping out into the cold night air, I half ran half walked back to where I knew Edward would be.

My breathing was a little more under control when I stepped off the elevator but my heart was still pounding in a frantic rhythm. I was fairly certain it had nothing to do with my hurried pace and everything to do with the fact that I was beyond nervous. The voice in my head was yelling for me to take a minute and relax, to just sit and think things through before knocking on his door. My body however was acting of its own accord. My feet continued on their path and before I knew it, I was standing in front of his door, knocking.

The sound of my breath pulling in and out of my lungs was soon paired with the footfalls from behind the door. I held my breath and listened as the latch slid to the side and then faster than expected, the door swung open.

"Bella," he asked, looking out at me. "What are you doing here?"

I blinked back at him, not sure exactly what to say. "I umm-I wanted to talk to you for a minute." I pulled the book to my chest as if it would offer me some protection. "If that's okay." I added quickly.

"Sure," he took a step back and waited for me to walk in before closing the door behind me. I took a few steps in and stopped not entirely sure of where to go.

"I thought you were done talking with me," he said, walking past, brushing me gently with his shoulder.

"No," I shook my head. "You were the one who walked away. I wasn't done."

He turned and looked at me with raised eyebrows.

"Okay fine. I was done talking. But I'm not done now." I bit down on my bottom lip and dropped my head before looking back up at him. "What is this?" I held up the book he'd given me and waited for him to speak.

"Well, obviously it's your book. I just added a few details," he said with a shrug.

"Details." I repeated and tossed the word around in my head. "Are these details real-I mean, the truth-I mean did you-did you feel that way?" I swallowed thickly and looked down at the tops of my shoes.

I heard him sigh and was aware that he'd walked to the other side of the room. "Yes," he finally said.

My eyes went wide and I snapped my head up. "What? But you-you never said anything. Why didn't you ever say anything?" I couldn't stop myself from yelling.

"I should be asking you the same question. Oh wait, I forgot," he said, cynically. "You never felt that way; you just made it all up for your book." The look in his eyes was just as it was earlier. Dark, angry and the most beautiful I'd ever seen them.

"What was I supposed to say? You were with Tanya!"

"I wasn't with her all four years. And obviously, I'm not with her now. You should have said something!" His hands went from pointing at me to running through his hair in frustration.

"Oh, so I should have just walked up to you in the hallway and said, 'sorry Edward I know you're with Tanya and everything but I'm totally in love with you. I have been since freshman year.' Yeah, that would have been classic. I would have made a complete fool of myself and everything would have changed between us. Our friendship could have been ruined and you-."

Edward face pulled into a scowl and I stopped talking. His fists were clenched by his side and he took a step toward me. I'd never been afraid of Edward in my life, but the way he was looking at me sent chills up my spine.

"What are you doing?" I breathed out in barely a whisper.

He took another step closer to me, and I could feel the heat of his body radiating off his chest. I tilted my head back slightly so I could see his eyes as they bore into mine. "I'm ending our friendship." Without another word he closed what little space there was between us and pressed his body flush against mine. One of his arms encircled my waist and I felt the pull of his fingers on the back of my neck as he brought my face to his.

The internal voice in the back of my head told me to close my eyes and enjoy what was about to happen, but I ignored it. If I was going to be kissed by Edward Cullen, I was going to remember the way he looked the moment our lips touched.

I kept my eyes locked with his until I felt the soft pressure of his lips against mine, smooth yet firm. Then they fluttered shut as he continued to kiss me. My head felt light and I was fairly certain I was floating, even though I knew it was impossible. I'd imagined kissing Edward for years; But I never imagined it could actually be this amazing. Just when I thought it couldn't get any better I felt the tip of his tongue brush against my bottom lip. I parted my lips and tasted him for the first time, moaning into his mouth.

The soft scruff of his jaw rubbed against my cheeks, adding to the sensations that engulfed me. Wrapping my arms around his neck I pulled myself as close to him as possible, wanting nothing more than to crawl inside of him. He responded to my eagerness with his own and held me firmly in his grasp while twisting his tongue with mine.

My heart hammered loudly against my chest and I knew I was gasping for air, but I didn't care. I was kissing him, finally kissing him and my entire body felt like it was going to explode.

The sound of the phone ringing cut through the room and we both groaned while pulling apart. Our chests were rising and falling in panting breaths and I found myself holding back a giggle. Edward dropped his head and pressed his lips to my forehead before brushing his thumb across my cheek.

"You have no idea how much I hate to do this but I've got to get that. I'm waiting for a call from Kate to let me know when I'm supposed to be on set tonight."

"Tonight?"

"Yeah, sometimes it's easier to get certain buildings when we don't have to worry about people getting in the way."

I nodded my head and smiled up at him before dropping my arms from his shoulder. He stepped away and I watched as he walked into his room to answer the phone. As soon as he was out of view I collapsed on the couch. The girly side of me wanted to scream my excitement into a pillow but I figured that wasn't really an option at the moment. Instead, I settled for smiling like a fool.

I was so lost in my thoughts that I didn't notice that Edward had come back into the room until I heard his voice.

"Sorry about that." I looked up at him and felt my breath catch. He was leaning against the door jam, his legs crossed at the ankle, smiling down at me.

I shook my head. "No, no don't be sorry. I completely understand."

"I hope you're just as forgiving when I tell you the rest."

"The rest?" I asked.

"I've got to get going. We weren't planning on starting until a little later but Vladimir moved the time up."

Disappointment washed over me. I knew he had no control over his schedule but I was sad that I wouldn't get more time with him. Before I said a word, Edward crossed the room and sat down next to me.

"Can I see you later? Tomorrow sometime?"

"Yeah, of course." I said with a nod.

"Good because I think it's about time we go on our first date. What do you think?"

I felt my face get warm and I knew I must be the color of a tomato. Not trusting myself to speak I simply nodded my head.

"Alright. I'll call you tomorrow then." He stood up and reached for my hand, pulling me off the couch and into his arms in one swift motion. As soon as I was in his arms I buried myself into his chest and breathed him in. I felt like I was in a dream, like all of this couldn't possibly be happening.

"Promise me that we'll see each other and you won't go back to giving me the silent treatment?" My question was meant to be lighthearted and funny, but I couldn't keep the worried tone completely disguised.

"Bella," he said, cupping my cheek in his hand. "I've waited for nine years. I'm not going anywhere." He leaned down and pressed his lips to mine and any worry or fear I had melted away.

Twenty minutes later we were still kissing when I heard my cell phone ringing.

"Now it's your fault," he said, smiling against my lips.

I placed another quick peck on his lips before digging into my back pocket. It was a number I didn't' recognize.

"Hello?" I asked, hesitantly.

"Bella?"

"Yes, this is she. Who's this?"

"It's me, Rose. Sorry to call you but I've been trying Edward cell for the last twenty minutes and he's not answering. I hope you don't mind me making a few calls to get your number, but I knew that it would be the only way to get a hold of him."

Panic and guilt hit me in the chest and I took a step away from Edward. What have I done? What have I done?

"Bella? Bella, are you still there?" Concern laced her voice and I didn't know what to say.

"Yeah, I'm, here. Sorry I was just-"

"Distracted by Edwards lips? Yeah I can see how that would be a problem."

"Wait, what?" I asked, shaking my head in attempt to make sense of her words.

"Don't tell me you've been in his hotel room for almost an hour and you haven't kissed each other yet. At least tell me he's apologized for being an asshole earlier."

"Rose, I-I-I don't…" I looked to Edward silently pleading for help.

Before I said another word my phone was out of my hands and in Edwards. He turned his back and said a few quick things to Rose before snapping the phone shut.

"Sorry about that. She takes her job as my new friend very seriously," he said with a laugh.

"How did she know that-what did she-wait-friends?"

"Yes, friends," he repeated. I stood in shocked silence, still not believing that I'd been so wrong. All that worry over the past week was for nothing.

"How did she know?" I eventually asked, once my mind cleared.

"It's a long story. Can I tell you tomorrow when we're together?"

"Tomorrow." I nodded.

Looking up into his eyes he grasped my hand in his and, for the first time in my life, I knew that Edward and I were going to have a lot of tomorrows-together.

*wipes away tear* FINALLY! RIGHT? I can't tell you how good it felt to write that.

It'll be a little while for the next update (surprise, surprise) But it IS the holidays. So I think I'll leave Bella and Edward making out for a little while. heh.

Have a great holiday!

Oh and leave a review, tell me what you think!