|The Doctor and Mr Cullen
Author: suspenders PM
Bella relocates to Seattle to begin her life as a surgeon. Along the way she meets dazzling musician, Edward, and finds herself drawn to this man she doesn't know. She'll soon find out she is more connected to him than she ever knew. Canon Pairings.Rated: Fiction M - English - Romance/Humor - Bella & Edward - Chapters: 8 - Words: 28,579 - Reviews: 80 - Favs: 63 - Follows: 131 - Updated: 04-18-09 - Published: 12-09-08 - id: 4706716
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
A/N: Edward's POV was supposed to be short, a little commentary on what went down. It turns out the little bastard had a bit more to say. I was going to wait and post this later or tomorrow or next week but I can't. If I buy a present early I have to give it early. If I have a surprise for some I always really want to tell them and usually do...
Chapter 7 - EPOV
When Bella walked on stage I was in full on musician mode. As a musician I could no wrong. I was confident and commanded people's attention and respect. I loved every second on it. When I was on stage all of my doubt and all of my trouble with my father were gone. In musician mode I also know my effect on women. I know that when a girl gets brought on stage I can dazzle the shit out of her and in return dazzle the entire female audience.
I had every reason to believe this would work on Bella. I expected I could woo her with my voice and my touch. Usually, that kind of stuff just works. I'll be damned if she didn't surprise the hell out of me with that cell phone remark. Did I deserve it? Hell yeah. Doesn't mean I was any less surprised.
Not returning Bella's message was a huge mistake. Not calling her was ridiculous. Letting her walk away without putting up a fight would have been unforgiveable. I didn't deserve her time but seeing her tonight reminded me of how she made me feel when we were together. The spark from our first encounter was still there and I craved more.
I fumbled off stage and ran towards the hallway I saw her enter.
I got to the hallway entrance and took a moment to watch her before I made my presence known. She was leaning up against the wall, empty glass in hand. Her skin was flushed, whether from the booze or the situation was unclear. I watched as she brushed her fingers across her lips, her hand was trembling. I wanted to run over to her and push her up against the wall until we forgot our own names. I wanted to kiss and be kissed until our lungs gave out. Unfortunately, that would have to wait.
I took a step closer and her head shot up, the glass falling from her hand. There was silence as we stared at each other. The rest of the world disappeared into the hazy club air and we were left in bubble of quiet. Although I never heard it the glass must have hit the ground and shattered eventually. Her eyes were endlessly expressive and her lips were pulled tight as if she needed to pull strength from their togetherness.
She lifted her chin just slightly, no doubt waiting for me to speak. I tried to gasp for air to make the words come out but I couldn't. My lungs were constricted, my throat was closed, and I was panicking.
This girl is so much better than I am.
I watched as the look in her eye shifted from determination and challenge to hurt and defeat. Bella's chin dropped and she started to walk past me. She was giving up on me. Seeing her moving to leave was the push I needed to wake the fuck up. As if on its own accord my hand reached out and grabbed her wrist before she could get away from me.
Sparks. Warm. Soft. Bella.
I looked her in the eye and had to start speaking before I got lost in them. Being braver than me, yet again, Bella spoke first.
"Edward if you have something to say you better just say it."
Fuck you Carlisle. Fuck you for making me feel like I was not good enough for this woman.
In that exact moment my balls descended and my throat cleared. Starting simple seemed like a valid approach. I needed to start somewhere.
"I need to apologize to you but sorry hardly seems like an appropriate word. I should have responded."
Can I kiss you again? Please?
As the words came out of my mouth I wondered if "sorry" ever worked for anyone. Sorry is made up of 5 little letters, 4 actually, and they just couldn't properly convey what I was actually feeling. They couldn't express to her the physical pain I was in for causing this whole fucked up mess. If possible I looked at her harder than before. I hoped for once my green eyes would be useful. They needed to communicate the message I was so desperately seeking to send.
"Thanks captain obvious. I'm aware of all of the shoulda coulda wouldas of the world." Her words were spiteful but her volume was soft. Her brown eyes never left mine and beneath the hurt I swear I saw hope and pleading.
"Bella, I am so sorry... After that night… That night was just… the way your lips felt against mine. I haven't stopped thinking about you. Not once. I was worried that once you found out who my father was you would disappear. I still am."
Perhaps I should not have thrown the father card out there.
"What does your father have anything to do with anything? You know what Edward, I am drunk and angry and I can't talk to you right now."
She's gonna leave again.
"Bella don't go."
Please don't leave again.
"I have to. You have my number."
Bella is woman to be reckoned with. She was leaving, I couldn't stop that, but before she left she answered all my silent prayers. She lifted her head and brought her lips to mine. The kiss was quick and gentle but it asked me to fix this. Her lips downright demanded I not let her down again. It was what I needed to have the confidence to pursue her. She knew I would need the push.
I watched her walk away from me into the arms of a midget and my step sister? How? What?
The club manager found me and quickly ushered me back on stage before I could figure anything else out. I was always able to express myself in music. Over the years when words failed me and people failed me music was my constant. I decided to close with a song for Bella. I wasn't sure if she was still there but I knew I could express more with the sound of my voice and my fingers over the frets than I could with my own bullshit words.
I feel like a hero and you are my heroine
I won't try to philosophize
I'll just take a deep breath and I'll look in your eyes
This is how I feel and it's so real
I got a closet filled up to the brim
With the ghosts of my past and the skeletons
And I don't know why you'd even try
I closed my eyes and I gave those words every ounce of feeling I could muster. Even once the song was coming to an end I couldn't open them. I don't know if I was more afraid to see her watching or walking away.
There was a moment of time before the audience erupted into applause when I thought I was going to implode from the intensity of what I was feeling.
That night I wasted no time contacting Bella. She needed to know I got her message tonight and I was onboard. I pulled out my cell phone and typed out a quick text message. I didn't expect she would respond, she would wait for the phone call, but I really needed her to know I was in.
Just wanted to make sure my phone worked – E
I laughed to myself as I hit the send button. I hoped she would appreciate it. After that I sent her a message every time I thought of her. She put herself out there for me; it was time to return the favor.
I'm going to call you tomorrow night – E
I miss you – E
I was up surprisingly early Sunday morning and I continued my texts to Bella. I sent them because I wanted her to know I was thinking about her and I wanted her to know it was okay she hadn't responded. This exchange was for her, not me.
You looked amazing last night – E
Just wanted to make sure my phone was still working – E
My phone is charging. Plug yours in. – E
I had a long talk with Jasper. I filled him in on everything that happened with Bella after the piano incident and he explained to me the series of coincidences that had brought them all together last night. Hearing this only reinforced how badly I needed to tell Bella about my father. I was worried that Alice would tell her before I had the chance but Jasper reassured me she would not. For someone he had only known a short time he had an awful lot of faith in her. If I'm being honest with myself, I had the same faith in Bella.
Sometime Sunday afternoon I started to feel nauseous, really, really, nauseous. I'm sure banging my head against the wall was not helping. Okay Cullen, it's go time.
I grabbed my phone and before I knew it I was pressing send. One ring... two... three...
"Hello?" She answered. Thank God.
"Bella, it's Edward." Will you come sit in my lap?
"Hi." I swear to fucking God my heart fluttered when I heard the smile in her voice.
"Hi. Did you get my texts?" My clever, clever, little texts…
"Yes." I will do everything in my power to be sure you say the word yes as many times as possible. It would be awesome if you could follow it up with my name. I promise I'm not a perv. Please just like me.
"I'm sorry Bella. There is so much I want to tell you. Can we start over?" It's too bad she's not here; no one can resist my pouty lip.
"Start over?" Yup. Give me a chance to do this right from the beginning.
"Yeah, like from the beginning. I really want to earn you, Bella." Silence. Uh, I need an adult! I need an adult!
"Bella? Say something please." Please, please, please say something!
"Hi. My name is Bella Swan. I'm new in town." Oh my God. She's really doing it. She is really going on this ride with me.
"Hi. I'm Edward Cullen. I'm a musician, and I'd love to take you to dinner tomorrow night." Then will you sit on my lap? I just want to cuddle, honest.
"My, aren't we forward. We only just met." I love you. She's being playful and smiling again. I want to live in your smile.
"While that may be true, I have a good feeling about you. I don't think you'll end up a serial killer or anything." Even if you were I would let you kill me.
"Edward?" She said my name. The clouds are parting, children are laughing, music is playing and Bella Swan said my name. Answer her dipshit.
"I'm glad you called." I hope she can hear my smile.
"Me too. Bella?"
"I'm glad you answered. It truly is a pleasure to meet you." I won't let you down again.
"This seems right. Things happened really quickly the other night. I will go to dinner to with you, but you should know this doesn't make everything alright."
"I know Bella. I owe you about a million and one explanations. I think we'll have to spend quite a bit of time together in order for me to share them all with you." I will not let my own issues affect us. I will be honest with you and I will tell you everything.
"Let's start with dinner." She yawned and squeaked. So fucking adorable.
"You sound tired. I'll pick you up tomorrow? 6?"
"That sounds perfect. Edward?" SHE SAID IT AGAIN.
"I'll see you tomorrow." It can't come soon enough.
"Tomorrow Bella. Goodnight."
I hung up the phone and I could feel the hope building below the surface.
I hope I will dream about her.
I hope tomorrow goes well.
I hope this is the beginning of something wonderful.
I hope I can be good enough.
I hope she pushes me to keep hoping for the rest of my life.
A/N: Oh Edward.
A/N: Oh Edward.
The song is Hero/Heroine, Boys Like Girls the acoustic version.