Rene thanked the Lords that the Commander moved on to other topics and soon dismissed her and Starbuck.

Starbuck had ushered her out into the corridor, and they began walking, but Rene felt she was in a daze as she followed him. Starbuck kept casting her glances, but she didn’t know what he expected her to say. Like he had promised, it hadn’t been that bad at all, so why did she feel like she wanted to blow up something, or jump into her Viper and blast some Cylons?

Starbuck let her keep her thoughts to herself for the time being. He remembered back to his first lecture from Adama. He figured Rene was feeling as confused as he had. He’d thought himself lucky after the first time he’d faced him. Compared to other Commanders, Adama did have a lighter touch, but then again, he had Colonel Tigh to handle most of his disciplinary matters. Tigh was pure military protocol and quite ingenious when it came to extra duty. He’d have to warn Rene about Tigh, but then he reasoned that maybe that was more the approach she was used to.

As they approached the mess hall, Rene’s steps slowed.

“You okay?” Starbuck asked

Rene nodded, still not able to find the words.

“So let’s get some chow and then I have a surprise for you. You’re going to like it, and I checked earlier. There’s real food tonight, still bland and boring, but it looks more like food than building materials.” He reached for her hand.

Rene noted that this time he didn’t look around to see who was watching. She let him lead her into the mess hall. She appreciated how hard he was trying as he pulled out the bench for her and went off to get her a tray of primaries. The hall was nearly empty, but Rene still felt like all eyes were on her. She’d only been here a few cycles, and she felt she had screwed up each one of them. This is not how she had wanted things to go here. By now she should have formed some alliances, gained some information, not spent most of her time having to justify her actions or having to prove she was really a warrior.

Starbuck came back with his million cubit smile shining, but he cranked it down a notch when he saw that Rene was still quiet. “Hey, you okay? It wasn’t that bad, was it? I thought it went well. You got us water and, well I did lose a Viper. But they said they could retrieve it and it isn’t often I get to take a good bath.”

Rene sighed, looking down at the bland fare in front of her. “Yeah, about that. I’m sorry. I just thought…” She sighed again.

“You thought I could handle myself. Not a bad thought, and I can, it’s just, you scared the pogees out of me, okay? I mean, I just found you and the thought of losing you, well…” he trailed off, not wanting to finish the thought. He never wanted to experience what he witnessed Apollo going through after the loss of Serina.

“I guess that’s it. Since coming aboard here, you don’t think I can handle myself. No one does.”

“No,” Starbuck drawled, “No, that’s not true. We know you can handle yourself, it’s just…”

“You all treat me like a kid,” Rene interrupted.

“Do we?” He looked surprised by that. “Well, you are young, so I suppose we could be guilty as charged.” Then he paused, reaching across and taking her hand, entwining his fingers in hers. “But I definitely don’t think of you as a kid.”

“Well, I’m not a kid. I can handle myself and do my duty. And kids certainly don’t do what we were about to do on that beach.” She said, pulling back her hand and taking a stab at her meal.

Starbuck snickered, “Well, some start early . . . but . . . no, you’re not a kid. However, you are young, and what we were about to, um, do, young people do.” He smiled suggestively at Rene, but taking in her angry look, he added, “Besides, what’s wrong with being young? Maybe you should be able to act your age. You don’t have to do it all, you know. You can be young here, and expect some back up. Hey, they even back up old guys like me around here.” He paused for her to roll her eyes at him. “Rene, you’re allowed to lose a Viper or two—Sagan knows I have—and to have someone else help you retrieve it, or sign you out a new one. You don’t have to grow up so fast and take on the weight of the whole fleet.”

She shook her head at him, “You don’t get it.”

“There’s a lot about you I don’t get, so why don’t you explain it to me. Like why one minute you’re telling me you’re going to stay here on the Galactica with me, but the next you’re worried about explaining things to Commander Dante. You’re contradiction personified at times.” Starbuck leaned forward, reaching out to brush the hair out of her eyes, but Rene flinched and backed away. Starbuck sighed, “When are you going to trust me?”

“When are you going to trust me?” She returned in a whisper.

Rene lowered her head and for a moment Starbuck thought she was going to cry. He reached out again, only this time taking her hand, before he said softly, “I’m here for you, and I do trust you. Me standing on a beach wanting to make sure you reach your Viper and fire it up, has nothing to do with distrust or thinking you’re a kid. It’s because I care about you. You can trust me, Rene.”

She looked back up meeting his eyes. “I’m sorry. Old habits I guess. It’s just this is all new for me. And then to be treated like a stupid kid. On the Zakar, on Dilmun, I’m in charge of people, Starbuck! I run the missions. I lead the patrols. People trust me! I’m not just a kid, or young or whatever you want to call it. I’ve worked hard every day to get where I am.”

“I believe you.” He threw up his hands as though surrendering to her case. “So with that in mind . . . don’t you deserve a break?”

The words took her off guard, “What?”

“A break. A vacation. A chance to be young. You deserve to act your age, Rene.” He reached out squeezed her hand to stop her from interrupting him. “I trust in your abilities, but you can’t prove yourself in just a couple of days. It will take time, but in the meantime, why not enjoy the fact that you don’t have to work so hard. Why not just kick back and enjoy having some back up, and a Commander who’s not psychotic. Wasn’t that nice, not having your arm ripped out of a socket, but instead just being talked to?”

Maybe it was the gleam in Starbuck’s eye, or the smile on his face, but Rene couldn’t help but chuckle. “Okay, you have me there. Yeah, that was pretty…nice I guess.”

“You know, when I was your age, which wasn’t that long ago,” he hastily added, “after a good Commander lecture—and I had my share, you can believe me, but none nearly so nice as that one—so while my ears were still ringing from the yelling, I would have gone to the club and gotten drunk, smoked a few good fumarellos, gambled away my pay and someone else’s, maybe danced a little, found a pretty girl and….and did something I knew I was good at.” Starbuck smiled mischievously.

“Passing out?” she grinned.

“Well . . .” he smiled wryly. “That usually came later.”

“Oh, I see,” she chuckled. “So what you’re suggesting is . . . I get drunk, dance and find myself a pretty boy?” Rene grinned back.

He nodded thoughtfully, as though seriously considering it. “Yes, that would just about do it. After all, I think you should act your age, don’t you?”

“Okay, I’ll try it your way for once. So, where do you think I can find myself a pretty boy?” She turned dramatically, scanning the room.

He cleared his throat, waiting until she looked back at him. “I thought you said I was pretty?” Starbuck pretended to pout while Rene shook her head and laughed.

“Too pretty for your own good, but I suppose you’ll do. I know some place where we can get drunk, but I’m not sure there’s much room in there for dancing.”

“Trust me,” he purred, “I know just the place.”

Rene shivered and wondered for the millionth time what power Starbuck possessed to make her body respond so willingly to his demands. She seemed to be under his command. “Now that’s a commander I can follow willingly,” she thought to herself as she met his smile.

“I trust you completely.” She squeezed his hand in reply, enjoying the feel of his strength and the beauty of his smile.