Hello everybody, this is the last chapter of Press Release. Thank you so much for reading and waiting for updates. Sorry it took me so long but my personal life needed my full attention for a while. I'm back on track now and the first thing I did was write write write! I hope you'll enjoy the outcome of this story. I sure had fun dreaming it up. Here we go:

Her reflection stared at her in the bathroom mirror and she sighed; she looked terrible. Her eyes, red and swollen, were still burning. Exhaustion had taken her in its grasp and all she wanted now, was sleep. Finally a good night’s sleep with an empty head. Anything but having to feel the pain inside her. It shouldn’t have to be this hard. Life shouldn’t have to be this hard. She wanted to be normal.

A wild thought suddenly welled up inside her, making her close her eyes. Leave. Sometimes the urge was so strong…sometimes she simply wanted to leave. Start a new life, leaving everything behind. Get into Joseph’s car, grab hold of his hand and let him drive to the border, crossing it to never return home. To find the ocean, to walk through the mountains, anywhere where they would be able to wake up next to each other each day. Without restrictions, without borders, without press, without responsibilities.

Shaking her head with force, she squeezed her eyes shut. Stop. She needed to stop this minute.

Turning off the light in the bathroom, she headed towards her bed. On her nightstand, glowing in the dark, was her cell phone. The temptation to call Pierre back was strong; she felt the need to truly convince him that she was all right. Even though it would be a lie. Pierre had sensed her heartache, a realization that made her stomach turn inside her. Her children weren’t meant to see her weaknesses; she had made that decision a long time ago. Strong, she needed to be strong. For them, for everyone. Sadly, her being strong brought a whole lot of misery in its wake.

Reaching out to her cell phone, she reconsidered and pulled away. Emphasizing her well-being would have the opposite effect on Pierre; she knew him. She rested her head on her pillow, closing her eyes, hoping that dawn would come soon. Sleep caught up with her earlier than she had anticipated, and soon her breathing became deep and steady. A dreamless sleep took her away. Finally.

The loud buzzing made her open her eyes sharply and for a moment she didn’t know where she was; darkness surrounded her. Only the sharp light coming from the side of her bed pulled her back to the here and now. Her cell phone went off again, each tone more demanding than the last. Her head seemed to be filled with cotton, being robbed from her sleep so suddenly. Her body begged her to shut off her phone and go back to sleep but her heart yearned for a connection, somewhere, somehow. And so she reached out with a trembling hand. Knowing who it was before she even spoke.

“Hello?”

“Clarisse, I beg of you, don’t hang up please.”

Her throat tightened; she recognized his voice immediately. Joseph. Her stomach warmed inside her, despite the reservations that popped up in her head. “I wasn’t going to,” she said softly.

“Thank you,” he said. “If this is the only way to speak to you in private, this is what it’s gonna be.”

“Oh,” she said stupidly, inwardly scolding herself for not being more eloquent. “What time is it?”

“Late, too late, and I apologize,” he muttered. “But I have to get it out. It’s driving me insane.”

A shiver shot down her spine. “What is it?” she asked.

“Clarisse, if I may, you are making a huge mistake,” he then said with such force as if he had been rehearsing this line. Immediately she sat up straight, guarding herself. “You are jeopardizing your own safety because of all of this.”

“That’s not what I’m doing,” she said, somehow relieved that he immediately referred to professional matters.

“You are avoiding me, which I can understand,” he said, “But perhaps we can try to talk about this…to, I don’t know, clear the air or something.”

“Clear the air?” she repeated. “Joseph, what else is there left to say?”

More than enough was left to say, she knew it, but before he could say exactly that she continued: “I just don’t see how talking about it would make it all go away.”

He stayed silent. For a moment she feared that he had left her, even though it was exactly what she asked him to do. But then, very softly, she heard his unsteady breathing as if he was trying to say something but held back at the last moment. Finally he took a deep breath. “I know I’m not supposed to ask you this, and I’m sorry. But I just…I only need to know…” his voice trailed off and she had to listen more intently to hear him. With a pounding heart she waited for him to finish. “Clarisse, if we had spent the night together, would you have still have broken it off between us?”

Sobering up immediately, she sat up straight. “What difference does that make…?”

He spoke before she could finish. “Because, quite honestly, it would have been so hard for me to let go after…I mean if we had…” He stopped himself and an uneasy feeling washed over her. She had to change the direction of this conversation if she wanted to keep her composure,

“If we had…” she repeated, stating the obvious. “But we will never know, will we? Because we were literally saved by the bell, weren’t we?” She attempted a light joke but he didn’t laugh. Frankly, neither did she.

“I don’t think ‘saved’ is the right word here,” he stated sadly, but pointlessly.

She sighed deeply, finally fully joining this conversation. “Joseph, it’s not like I have a choice in this matter. My life is on display constantly, you know how it is.”

“Would you?” he asked yet again.

Her voice became stronger, she felt she was activating her defense mechanism. “God, if you must know…yes. I suppose I would still have broken it off - no matter what would have happened.”

“Oh,” he said. For a moment he was silent and she bit her lip; rejecting him was like rejecting her own soul. Practically impossible.

“But why did you come to me in the first place?” he then asked, his tone unsure. “Surely there must have been a reason for you to decide…I mean, you knew how I…how we…” Frustration sounded through in his voice. “God why is this so hard to say? Can we please talk about that evening?”

She said nothing.

“Clarisse…please talk to me,” his voice was pleading. It weakened her knees and melted her resistance. What was it about this man that allowed him to have such a hold on her?

“I was so scared when I knocked on your door,” she then admitted, grabbing a fistful of sheets to control her nerves.

His voice became hoarse. “I was scared, too. More than you know.”

“I don’t know why I came though,” she sighed and a helpless feeling washed over her. There was no running away from him, she just couldn’t postpone this confrontation any longer.

Now his tone became softer. “Perhaps because there is something between us. Something wonderful.”

She remained silent. How could she even respond to that?

Then, he heaved another deep sigh. “Clarisse, it was not nothing. You don’t truly think it meant nothing to me, do you?”

She shook her head without realizing he couldn’t see her. She remembered asking him if it meant nothing to him. She also remembered regretting asking him this the second the words had left her mouth. He just shouldn’t have been with her when she saw the newspapers; her emotions had been too raw at first. “I shouldn’t have said that.”

He started to plead with her again, she felt it, and she closed her eyes in despair at his warm tone that became unbearable to listen to. He made it even worse: “It meant everything to me, you know that. It still does.”

Again she didn’t speak; she was at a loss for words.

“Tell me something,” he said softly, and for a moment she heard a trembling tone in his voice, a sign that he was nervous. “Have you…ever thought about what it would be like…to be, well, together that way?”

She gulped for air, her cheeks burning. Her hand touched her lips and her eyes drifted shut. Her stomach tightened and yet an odd sense of surrender flooded her. Once again, Joseph had hit target.

“Or was it just my imagination that has forced all those maddening images on me for all this time?” he continued. “If so, please forget what I said.”

“It wasn’t just your imagination,” she said after a small pause. Blood rushed through her body, making her skin glow. Even though she felt exposed, somehow she felt the need to comfort him, to stand next to him in their joined frustration. “Of course I’ve been…” she hesitated, …”wondering.”

His low chuckle caused a warm glow to spread out in her stomach, and teasingly it seemed to drift lower. “I wouldn’t be human if I didn’t wonder, Joseph.”

He grew silent at that and suddenly she felt cornered, nervous to the bone. But then, after yet another deep gulp of air, she asked the question that had been wandering around in her mind ever since that particular evening. “Would you…I mean, that night, do you think we…would you truly…” She faltered, struggling to continue. But then she spoke quickly, hoping her voice wouldn’t carry as much emotions that way. Yet she needed to know, for once and for all. “Would you have kissed me?”

She thought she could hear his smile through the phone. “Yes,” he simply said. After slight hesitation he continued: “I already started to, didn’t I?”

Folding her hand around her stomach, she desperately tried to stop the butterflies from fluttering. The memory alone caused her body to respond in a maddening way. “You did.”

Then, he seemed to have gathered courage because his voice was suddenly a bit stronger. “Would you have let me?”

Her cheeks turned an even deeper shade of red. A shiver shot down her spine, weakening her even more. “I just…”

He spoke again, fast and without question, as if there were no barriers standing between them. “I wanted more than a kiss though, Clarisse. Much more. And for what it’s worth, I still do.”

The sensuality in his voice was unmistakable and she leaned back against the soft pillows, hugging the phone to her ear. Deep-rooted passion was rushed by her blood through her entire being. “I know.”

“I can’t tell you how many times I imagined…I mean, I dreamed…” his voice faltered and she sunk back into the pillows even more, savoring the hoarse tone. “I would have pursued it all Clarisse, if you had let me.”

She closed her eyes tightly, and sighed. How could she fight the truth any longer?

“I would have let you, Joseph,” she suddenly said, and with that she sealed her fate. She ignored the protests of her mind; her heart and body were winning this battle. Finally she was admitting it out loud. To herself, to him and to the two of them. No more denial. She would have let him make love to her, right there and then in that old dusty hotel room. And if she were completely honest with herself, she had known all along. “I would have let you.”

“Oh God, don’t say that,” he groaned, and somehow that response tickled her, amused her. It was hugely flattering and to her own horror she giggled like a schoolgirl. Flustered, she held her breath. “Damn you…” he swore softly. Then his voice became stronger, as if he had just woken up. “God help me, but I’m only a man.”

“What are you saying…?” Contradiction roared through her once more. Fear, anxiety, it all caused her stomach to tie in a knot. There was only so much she could handle; the attraction simply was too strong. Desire shot through her, hot and sparkling, melting away the negativity inside her. How could she push it away, how could she live without the fire he evoked in her?

He was panting slightly. “I won’t say it on the phone.”

“Where are you?” she asked, sitting up straight with wide-open eyes. Adrenalin shot through her, making her heart race, sending a tremor through all her muscles. Within a second, her body was ready to take the leap and run away.

After a small pause she heard him speak again, he was speaking softly but the heat and desire in his voice made her tremble. “Where I’ve always been Clarisse. Right outside your door.”

Everything froze. The clock stopped ticking, Joseph stayed silent, and her limbs were completely still. He was out there, waiting. Her mind went fast, contemplating so many thoughts that she didn’t even know what came first. What on earth was she thinking? Was she honestly contemplating making a decision that was going to affect her for the rest of her life? Based on what, a hunch that it would all be so wonderful? How come they were so sure? Why had it felt so good to be with him in that hotel room in Marseille, just being with him as a woman, instead of the Monarch she was forced to be?

Forcing herself to move, she slid from between the satin sheets and walked in bare feet towards her living room. Deep down she knew the answer to all these questions. Joseph already was her partner in almost every sense of the word. He stood by her, guided her, took care of her, listened to her, made her laugh and most of all…was her equal. Mentally, socially and intellectually, he was her equal. And in one moment, he had managed to make her see that he could be her partner in the physical sense too. All she had to do, was open the door one more time.

She glanced at the morning paper that was still on her coffee table. The pictures. Witnessing in the first photo her own smile, the joy in her eyes, her face beaming with happiness . In the photo right next to it was darkness, a sense of mourning and loneliness – all radiating from her face. The press had picked up the difference. Pierre had noticed it and called her on it. And Joseph…oh Joseph, he had known all along. “Tale of Two Queens”, the captions said. The real question was; which Queen, which woman, did she want to be?

“Clarisse…”

She almost jumped when she heard his low and soft voice; somehow she had forgotten that she held the cell phone to her ear. Again, she couldn’t find the words to answer him – her eyes were too much drawn to the closed door of her suite.

He spoke again, his voice low and hoarse, yet with determination. “You said you regret the things you haven’t done.”

The same old questions went through her mind in a maddening pace. Would it work out between them, if given the chance? Despite the overwhelming complications, could they somehow make this work? Was it worth the risk? She stood in front of her door now, trembling all over. Being drawn to the person right behind it with such force, that she wasn’t able to pull away. There was only one way to find out if it would work. Only one way to see if she’d made the right decision.

Her one hand closed around the cold steel handle, the other found the locks on its own accord. The one at the top. Turned. The one below. Clicked away. And then, finally, she removed the chain door lock in the middle. And then there were no more barriers left. The door was open.

As she pulled, he pushed his way in. With him came the smell of cologne, the cool scent of being outside all day and freshly washed laundry. It was so fresh, so heady and so familiar that it made her close her eyes for a second, her heart racing in her chest. But when she opened them, he was standing right in front of her – his dark eyes questioning and pleading.

There was no ‘hello’, no pleasantries or awkward words or nervous giggles. In fact they didn’t speak at all, all that needed to be said occurred between his gaze and hers, looks full of longing and desire.

As she smiled at him, a soft blush gracing her cheeks, he took the leap. With one quick and determined movement, he kicked the door shut behind him. It was time.

A slow sweet burn formed in her belly and she drew a shaky breath. They had yet to touch but he already made her shiver. There were no more thoughts, no more doubts.

He held his breath as he stared right into her eyes; those blue, sparkling, beautiful eyes. And he read, just as he hoped he would, exactly that what he had been feeling all along. Need. An emotion simply too strong to ignore, a wire impossible to cut. Just as he thought his heart couldn’t race faster in his chest, it increased even more.

She watched the desperate yearning in his eyes. Almost on its own, her hand came up and closed over his where it now stroked her hair.

“Clarisse…” he whispered, clearing his throat. She saw him swallow as he carefully slid his finger to her face. He stroked her soft cheek, carefully, lovingly, looking at her with a sense of almost disbelief.

All she had to do to encourage him was glance at his mouth and then back up to his eyes. He understood her unspoken wish and a small smile appeared on his lips, nodding with the lightest of movements. Telling her that it was all right for her to want this, to need this, and most of all…that he felt it too.

Afterwards, she could never tell which one of them had moved first. All she knew was that suddenly his lips were on hers and she exhaled a shuddering breath when she melted into him. That first touch of his lips, that delicate, careful, tentative touch almost had the power of an electric shock and she felt it shooting through her entire body. As if placed there, her arms had found themselves loosely around his neck, her fingers touching his skin.

He couldn’t be awake, he just couldn’t. Feeling her softness underneath his moving lips was not just overwhelming; it took hold of his entire being. Her scent, that special scent was suddenly all around him and he tried to inhale it deeply, yet his breathing was too unsteady. Even though the urge to feel more of her was getting hold of him, he was careful at first. He didn’t want to risk her pushing him away. But as he brushed his lips on hers, softly, tentatively, her hands slid lower to his back, pulling him closer. In response, immediately his arms circled her waist, molding her against him so the softness of her body came to rest against the firmness of his. Breathing fast, his hands cupped the sides of her face. He needed one more reminder that he wasn’t dreaming, that this was in fact Clarisse in his arms. So slowly he tilted his head back, to look at her face, searching her gaze.

Clarisse held her breath as she found him close to her, his eyes soft and warm, piercing right into her soul. Although it was slowly becoming impossible for her to think rational thoughts, one thing shot through her head that weakened her even more. It wasn’t just lust that she felt for this man, although right there and then, that emotion overruled all she was feeling. She was head over heels in love with Joseph, her Joseph. She loved him. Wanted him, all of him, she realized and drew herself closer to him with a snuggling movement of her body.

It was all the encouragement he needed and slowly he lowered his mouth again. Clarisse wasn’t objecting to his caresses, the realization almost made him faint. He couldn’t resist; as he leaned in he brushed her nose with his own, circling teasingly around that delightful tip of her nose. It made her smile and he answered to that by settling his mouth over hers once more. Deeper this time. More passionate this time.

She wanted to stay there forever more, tight in his embrace, tasting what had only been a treasured scent for her ever since she experienced that first rush of warm feelings for him. Joseph’s scent. Joseph’s taste. Breathing in fast, she allowed his mouth to explore her and his arms tightened their hold on her. As he tilted his head once more, she felt his lips change in position. Slow, lingering kisses fell upon her bottom lip, light butterfly kisses ended up on both corners of her mouth…Joseph didn’t leave one spot of her mouth unattended. Her stomach swirled and turned inside her and she clung to him, savoring his touch.

Although she was enjoying this with every fiber of her being, she couldn’t hold back a gasp when his tongue suddenly slid through her half parted lips. She froze breathlessly; afraid that any movement from her would warn him to stop. Or to continue, she wasn’t sure which daunted her more. But then he made the decision for her, his kiss broke her resistance, and he broke her soft “Oh…” as his tongue sought hers in a delicious, playful, erotic game.

Joseph felt smooth and warm inside her mouth as she tried to keep up with him, answering his caresses. His taste was sweet and deliciously masculine and she had to hold herself tight to him for her knees refused to carry her weight any longer. The deepening of the kiss awakened every sense inside her, as sharp and instant as a bolt of lightning after a hot and humid summer day.

All of a sudden, his mouth had left hers and he lowered his head to kiss her chin. In surprise, she tilted her head backwards and he aimed immediately for that delicate soft skin in her neck. She heard him kissing her, felt him suckling her skin, and the combination of sound and feelings liquefied her bones. Deep in her belly it tickled and swirled, quickening her breathing and pulse with every second that passed.

“God…” he panted, as his legs started to tremble underneath him. To kiss her soft lips was heaven, but to really taste her skin, to feel her heartbeat racing in her chest, to be able to place his lips on the woman he had dreamed about for so long...it was maddening in the most wonderful sense of the word. As he lowered even more to kiss the warm skin of her chest, he suddenly realized she was in her nightgown; he hadn’t even noticed that when he entered her room. But now, as his hands took possession of her lower back to secure her from tipping backwards from his weight on her, he felt the smooth material sliding through his fingers.

His excitement grew; she felt it, heard it, smelled it even. His touch became more urgent, gripping the soft fabric of her gown between his clutching hands. Eyes falling shut, Clarisse lost herself in his touch, in his mouth that explored her chest, in his strong arms that glided over her back. His mouth sparked electricity through her, rushed by her blood through all her veins. Within seconds he had her moaning softly and pushing into his hands wherever he touched her. It had been such a long time for her since she’d last shared her mind, her soul, let alone her body with a man but against her expectations, the nervousness stayed away. She and the man before her seemed to fit, somehow, someway, mentally, spiritually and now physically.

His hands released her gown and slid down, his thumbs caressing the hollow of her spine and then, tentatively, his hands climbed back up to search for the small strap of her gown on her shoulder. It was exciting, thrilling to the bone and comforting all at once, feeling him pressed against her.

“Joseph,” she breathed, grabbing hold of his face, his neck. “Joseph…”

Immediately he brought his head beside hers. “What is it?” he whispered. “Too fast?”

She smiled and managed to shake her head, desperately trying to control her breathing. “No, I just…” She stopped herself.

For a moment he said nothing, he just stood there with one hand on her shoulder, the other on her lower back. His face was so close to hers that he could feel her unsteady breathing on his cheek. And then, suddenly, it was like he studied them from a little distance and he knew that regardless of what would happen from now on, they would never ever be the same. Something had changed. Everything had changed. And he wouldn’t have wanted it any other way.

His voice was low, barely audible, but she felt his breath warm on her skin. “I know,” he said as he pulled back just an inch, searching her gaze. His smile was brief, his voice so soft that it made her heart flutter. “We can do this Clarisse…we can make this work.”

Staring right into his warm, familiar, loving eyes, she asked, and received, that last bit of strength she needed to face the future. And as a small smile curved her lips, she realized that all she needed was faith. There was nobody she trusted more, than Joseph.

And then he was kissing her lips again, making a sensual assault on all her senses. Clarisse closed her eyes as her hands slid over his firm back, her fingers tracing his spine. That indescribable yearning she felt earlier was now slowly building to a need that was more daunting and more exhilarating than anything she had felt before. She felt the need to lose herself; to let go of everything that made her what she was, and to just be a woman. A woman wanted by a man. And God knows she wanted him. There was so much she wanted, so much she longed for. So much yet to explore.

As their hands started to travel across each other’s backs, their fingers clutching and grasping, she realized her gown was yet again in his firm hold. And slowly, but with determination, his finger slid towards the strap on her shoulder. Effortlessly he pushed it down and immediately his warm mouth found the bare skin underneath. Hot lips pressed against her skin as her gown fell away from her upper body and a jolt of fire shot from her belly further downwards, rendering her helpless.

He held on to her for dear life, tasting every inch of Clarisse that he could find. His head spinning, he struggled to draw in a breath and succeeded only in shuddering and panting as her hands slid in between them and managed to separate their bodies for just a moment. Fingers trembling, she started to unbutton his shirt, slowly, insistently. Seeing her hands on his body made him falter and he stared at her face when she had reached his final button. Eyes glittering, she looked up for a moment and a small smile graced her lips as she pulled that last obstacle away. He helped her with her quest and shrugged out of his shirt; tossing it aside the second he could. From then on, he let nature take its course and he pulled her into his arms again, skin touching skin, mouth finding mouth. His mouth had felt dry but she took care of that straight away; he seemed to be starving for her taste, her essence, her entire being. His hands slid over her back, fingers splayed over her skin and then he let his hand travel to the perfect roundness of her behind, drawing her hips against his own. Her gown was resting on her waist and with both hands he pushed it further downwards until, with a soft rushing sound, it slid to the floor.

“You are so beautiful…” he managed to utter, but he didn’t give her time to become self conscious.

She moaned softly when his hands were suddenly everywhere on her and she returned his caresses, touching him wherever she could. God help her, she wanted more. She wanted the softness of a mattress to support her back. She wanted to feel his weight on her. And she wanted all of that…now.

His head was spinning and he could barely put one foot in front of the other when she started to pull away from him, her hands guiding him to follow her. Step by step they took, Clarisse stumbling backwards, Joseph willingly following her lead. He could hardly see anything but the look in her eyes, that dark, loaded, erotic, hypnotizing look. The last time he had seen this look they were in Marseille and soon after that, he had been convinced he would never be able to witness it ever again.

But as she opened the door of her bedroom for him, revealing the intimacy of her sheets she had just slept in, he knew that she was opening her life for him. As she searched his gaze he smiled at her, feeling her trust warming his stomach and restoring his faith. The last step between them was yet to be taken, but they had already sealed their promise to one another.

Equals. Lovers. Partners.

The End

Until next time! Love,

Janet xxx