This is to Neji, you are the one who has guided me for years and help me flourish from the bumbling tomboy to the young woman I am today.

Title: Neji kun

Disclaimer: I dont own Naruto

And when I’m gone just carry on dont mourn rejoice everytime you hear the sound of my voice. Just remember my touch and remember my gaze to your unclearity faze. I know that i dont have the best track record, I know I have made dumb mistakes in the past. I want you to remember the voice that held those late night talks with you, and kept going until the day broke through. To remember the touches that my fingers had, lingering on your body. I could feel the love couldnt you? Wasnt it true? Tell me it was. Was I a fool for wanting to end it all when you fell ill that summer afternoon. Just a rash..just a rash and a lump. We joked around when you said it was your last. I didnt believe I couldnt take it and couldnt make through this world without you. After I got the call about what happened to you, I could feel my heart barely beating my soul nearly fell through. I would call daily.

“Just keep him in your prayers and he’ll be alright.”

So I followed her advice and I bowed down, something I havent done since the days of my mother’s score. The rise and the fall matched my mood somedays proud others sorrowful remembering you. I walked into your room the very next day and I saw my cousin and wolf they wanted to play.

“I can’t. I just don’t want to right now.” The words come out softly as they are forced out. I cant function. Let alone. Go on without. I lay there in the bed where we shared many things including naps and most of the time cuddling. I drew a picture a small sketch no real big thing and wrote a poem underneath on how I felt about things. That’s when you called and I felt alive. I felt like someone kicked my soul into overdrive. We talked and even though you laughed I still sensed your pain, I guess it was an Aquarius/Aries thing.

After that day we moved on and another bad day hit. I didn’t know what to say I didn’t know what to do, I knew that I would have to lose one of you. But I didn’t want to. It’s called being selfish. It’s called being an ass and no one derserves it. Things went back and forth and before I could catch on everything that we had was damn near gone. I stop coming by, I stop calling. I couldn’t go on without you, I was hurting. You said talking would help but I didn’t really believe and sometimes I still wonder was it a good thing? Recently we have been doing better but still my record is pulled up. I try to wipe it clean but it never slows up. I have to run, girly better keep moving cause if she don’t her heart will damn sure take a bruising. The jokes that are made and the comments ommitted I still understand the pain that your into and I caused that. Like a snake just tempting Eve. I never stopped wear the mask from Halloween and I decived you. I am truly sorry for this. I apologize and I hope that your heart can forget but I know it wont and I know that your minds runs deeply. I want a new leaf and your want your relief, can we both get what we want with no suffering? I wish that it could happen. I wish I had a plan, but Neji kun I don’t…but I do want your hand. I don’t want to be alone. I don’t want to stray from you. Let me make it up to you. No jokes, no games, no anticipation, accusation or any of the sort. Let it happen on it’s own, just the way it should.