A/N: OKAY! I have been away from FFN for quite a while now, mainly because I've just been insanely busy and apathetic and just plain old blah. Buuut now I'm on holidays, so I'm going to post up some of the stories which I've while I've been gone. Apologies if your poor inbox gets sick of the sight of me; also apologies to anyone who follows my LJ fic community and who has therefore already seen all of these. :3

The prompt for this one was "accidental phone sex", and it's just a tiny bit too short for me to want to post it on it's own, so it gets dumped here. :P

Warnings: coarse language; implied threesome; all boys are older than eighteen though.

Pairing: Matt/Near; Matt/Mello/Near.

Long Distance

“...you could at least pretend like you were paying attention,” Mello complained sulkily into the telephone, before pulling it away from his ear slightly, and glaring at it, as that strange shh-shh sound came from it for the umpteenth time. He was in southern Italy, he was pissed off at the local Mafia, he was alone, and he was bored out of his brain by the hotel television, which was both dull and on the fritz. Fuzzy telephone reception was the last thing he needed right now. “And what the fuck is that noise, anyway?” he therefore demanded... approximately two point five seconds before his sixth sense kicked in and he realised exactly what it was that he was hearing. Then snapped, “Shit, Matt, I can't believe you would— Near's right there, isn't he?”

There was a poignant silence, filled only by Matt's breathing and the now only-too-obvious sound of sheets shifting restlessly. Matt cleared his throat and said, “Y-yeah. You want to talk to him?”

Mello's mind turned on the spot, as he played through the variety of responses he could make at that point. It pissed him right off, knowing that he was stuck all the way over here, with nothing but his own hand for company, while the other two were going at it like rabbits, and probably emptying his fridge, just for good measure, the bastards. After a heartbeat or two, though, Mello decided that he may as well simply give in to the fact that Matt's voice was sexy at the best of times, but almost unbearably so when he was turned on and heavy breathing like that. Which was why he just pouted into the telephone, and answered simply, “Sounds like his mouth is otherwise occupied, if you ask me.”

There was a soft gasp, which most certainly hadn't come from Matt, and Mello's mind did an even faster calculation. “Damn,” he said succinctly, then, “You have the fucking speaker phone on?”

“H-hands – hands free—” Matt managed, and now he was laughing, the bitch, and gasping for breath all at once, and the sheets rustled louder, and all of it was punctuated by the obscene little wet noises that Near's mouth was making, and Mello could just visualise...

The blond shifted slightly, mentally reviewed whether he had or had not locked the hotel door, decided in the affirmative, then rested his hand against leather, and inquired, in a low, sultry tone, “So, Matty, Near, tell me... are the two of you wearing anything at all, or do I have to get completely naked to catch up...?”