Fright Fest

A/N: MERRY CHRISTMAS!

xxx

Day 7

xxx

Doom's Day had arrived. The outside of the Akatsuki's humble abode was decked out in all its Walmart-purchased-decorations glory, and the interior wasn't half bad either. Pein unplugged the phones, turned off his cell, and locked himself in his bathroom for the entirety of the day. When the clock struck 5, Konan knocked on Pein's door, announcing that it was almost dark. Begrudgingly, Pein left his sanctuary to face the party...and his death.

"You could just hand out candy with the others," Konan said kindly. Pein, however, shook his head.

"No, I'm the host of the party, I can't spend my last hours outside, away from my guests."

"Good," Konan snapped, polite smile fading into a grimace, "I could use some help with Itachi. He's been following around Tobi all day, and I can't tell if he wants to molest him or snap his neck."

"Probably both."

Konan agreed. Itachi was a sick fuck. And her woman's intuition was telling her that Itachi knew that he was chasing Tobi, and got off on having the masked Uchiha cosplaying as his little brother.

Right on cue, Tobi sped by, screaming "I'M NOT SASUKE-KUN! I'M NOT SASUKE-KUN!" while Itachi was right at his heels, running awkwardly in high heeled boots.

"Er...is Itachi in a...cat woman suit?"

"Yep."

"Well, is he aware of that fact?" Pein wondered, watching the tail pinned to Itachi's ass sway as he disappeared around a corner.

"Nope."

"Just checking."

Deidara suddenly ran into the kitchen just as Pein and Konan entered it. They watched the blond, who was clad in a red coat and black boots, clap his hands together, then form a clay pumpkin. He set it down, and screamed victoriously.

"ALCHEMY IS A BANG, UN!"

Konan and Pein only had a second to exchange identical frightened expressions before...

BOOOM.

The entire house shook, and Pein and Konan were blasted off their feet. Somewhere in the black smoke, Itachi said 'Ow.'

"Itachi-senpai? Can Tobi have his wig back? Tobi needs it."

"Foolish little brother. You need nothing other than my love."

"I can't...believe we survived that," Pein muttered weakly as he got to his feet. He helped Konan up and looked around the disaster area.

"Oh, no! The guests will be arriving any moment now, and the kitchen is in shambles!" Konan, horrified, gasped, looking about her.

"Deidara!" Pein shouted. Deidara snickered in the clearing smoke.

"I'm Edward Elric, un. Full Metal Alchemist."

"I don't care if your name's Captain Jack Sparrow, you're going to clean this up!"

"You called?" a deep voice rang from the stairs. Kakuzu stood there clad in a luxurious purple velvet pirate costume, his flamboyant hat cocked slightly at an angle.

"...I have no response to that."

"You're not a Homunculus, are you, un?"

Pein was outraged.

"Did you just call me a homosexual? Because if you did, then--"

"Pein," Konan broke in, "Homunculus. An artificial human."

"...from this silly shounen anime?"

"Yeah."

"Just...don't go around calling people Homo Nuclei, or whatever. It's not decent."

"Un!" Deidara saluted Pein, and started to march away. Konan grabbed Deidara by his braid.

"Clean first. Then go...cause mass chaos," Konan ordered. Deidara pouted, but did as he was told. After all, he didn't want to end up on the wrong end of Konan's paper cut bitch slap no jutsu.

xx

As soon as the streetlights lit up the dark streets, kids started roaming the neighborhood for free candy. In order to prevent the same fiasco as last Halloween, the Akatsuki passed out candy in two man teams, and switched every hour. Kakuzu and Hidan were the first team on duty, and already, things weren't going well.

A trio of boys dressed as pirates walked up to the porch, and stared, awestruck, up at Kakuzu's immaculate costume. Or was it his strange stitched face and eerie eyes they were gawking at? Either way, they were speechless before him. Hidan would have told them to fuck off, but Kakuzu saw this as a business opportunity.

"Pay me ten dollars, and I'll show you a neat trick," Kakuzu announced, grinning. The kids snapped out of their trance and the middle one with a painted on mustache gathered up the courage to actually speak.

"What kind of trick?" the boy asked cautiously. The missing Falls nin flashed them a brilliant smile.

"I'll give you a preview," he answered mysteriously, and detached his left arm. It walked on its fingers like some morbid insect, circling the boys. Kakuzu returned the arm to his body amidst cheering and shrieking. The smallest boy shivered, whimpering. A wet spot formed on the front of his pants, and he bolted. Hidan was on his hands and knees, hacking, he was laughing so hard.

"Oh, fuck, Jashin-sama! Did you see that little shit? He pissed his pants! HA HA HA HA!"

The kid with the fake mustache silently handed Kakuzu a ten dollar bill, and Kakuzu pointed to Hidan, who was unaware that he was about to be...

Kakuzu slid his sword carefully out of his belt, and with one graceful swipe, he'd decapitated Hidan. Blood sprayed like a crimson fountain, and the Trick or Treaters ran in horror. Kakuzu chuckled, catching Hidan's head as it toppled off the neck and shoving it in Hidan's spasming hands.

"I can't believe you fucking did this to me again! Jashin will have you for this, I fucking swear it! Seriously!"

"Quit swearing, there's more kids coming up the driveway."

"...I fucking get it now," Hidan whispered slowly, looking up and down his body.

"Headless Horseman."

Kakuzu smiled and waved at the approaching crew of preteen kids.

"I'm surprised you got it. I should split my ten with you."

"Fuck y...wait, what? You'll give me some of your money?"

"Trick or Treat!" a small princess squealed, holding out a bucket nearly as tall as she was.

"There you go, sweetheart," Kakuzu said sweetly, placing a single Tootsie Roll in her bucket. She looked in it with a crestfallen expression.

"Just...one?"

Kakuzu's creepy grin transformed into a cold grimace.

"The stock market isn't doing well this year. Be grateful I'm giving you anything at all, you spoiled little..."

The girl ran off, crying to her mother who was waiting on the sidewalk.

"I'm going to call the police!" the mother cried. Hidan flicked the woman off.

"When do Sasori and Deidara take over our shift?" Kakuzu sighed. The front door creaked open behind the zombie twins, and Tobi stepped out, his costume torn in places, the hairs of his wig sticking out in strange angles.

"Tobi? What the fuck are you doing out here?"

"Taking him trick or treating," Itachi answered for him as he stepped out as well. Kakuzu looked briefly at Itachi, then away, fighting to stifle his laughter. Hidan, however, pointed and slapped his knee, almost dropping his head in the process.

"Holy fuck, red eye, why are you cat woman?!"

Itachi glared at Hidan, but his eyes remained in their normal state.

"I'm not cat woman, you foolish old man. I am...The Batman."

"You're a delusional fuckface," Hidan snapped. Itachi narrowed his eyes.

"You're dead."

"Okay, time to go, Itachi-senpai!" Tobi suddenly said, miraculously rescuing Hidan from a fate worse than death. Kakuzu watched the masked moron dressed as Sasuke Uchiha as he spun around in front of Itachi, then grabbed his hand.

"I told you to call me 'aniki,'" Itachi insisted, letting Tobi drag him off.

"Do you think Tobi will make it back alive?" Kakuzu asked his partner.

"How the fuck should I know? Maybe Jashin will do us all a favor and put them in the path of a speeding truck."

"If that actually happens, I just might convert," Kakuzu stated thoughtfully, and rationed out Tootsie rolls to the next wave of Trick or Treaters. Hidan dropped his head in surprise.

"Ow! S-seriously?"

"We'll see..."

xx

Guests started arriving to the house at around 6:30 that night. Asuma and Kurenai were among the first, dressed as an Egyptian pharaoh and queen respectively. Kakuzu stopped the two at the door.

"Ten dollars cover charge," Kakuzu said abruptly, holding out his hand. Kurenai started to argue when Asuma cut her off.

"It's not worth it. He'll just raise the price. Here." Asuma slapped a ten in Kakuzu's hand. The missing Falls nin's eyes narrowed.

"Ten dollars a piece."

"This is outrageous! Orochimaru's party is free!" Asuma grumbled, slipping Kakuzu another ten.

"Yeah, but Orochimaru was dressed as Voldemort, and he kept poking everyone with his stick," Kurenai whispered as Kakuzu stepped aside so they could enter the house.

"Oh, and don't get too close to the big yellow plant. It bites," Kakuzu called after them.

"This passing out free candy shit is ridiculous," Hidan whined as he tossed a handful of Mary Janes at a vampire. "When's our shift over?"

"When Sasori and Deidara come outside to relieve us."

"Well they better get their asses out here soon! I need to take a leak, and I think I should pray to Jashin to murder Itachi and that basketball faced doofus. You think that ballerina over there would make a decent virgin sacrifice?" Kakuzu grunted approval without looking up from his money.

"Alright. Well, I'm going after her. Hold the fort down for me, will ya?"

Hidan ran towards the house across the street, where a young girl dressed in a pink tutu was bent down, tying her slipper.

"Why can't we ever behave?" Kakuzu asked himself.

xxx

Konan was taking her Snow White role a bit too far, Pein thought. She had a basket of flowers hanging on her arm and she was frolicking about the house, singing and terrifying Zetsu. The six Peins, dressed as Dopey, Happy, Sleepy, Sneezy, Grumpy and Bashful, were encouraged to act out their roles as well. Sleepy Pein had it the easiest. He just curled up on the rug in front of the fireplace and took a nap, ignoring the party guests as they started to fill up the house. Bashful Pein hid upstairs in Konan's bedroom. Dopey Pein, who was the leader, the self proclaimed God, didn't quite know how to act 'dopey,' so he walked around pretending he was under the influence of marijuana. Happy Pein, Sneezy Pein and Grumpy Pein hovered around the punch bowl, all three of them acting rather grumpy.

A hyper teen with bushy eyebrows clad in a Gumby suit also hovered by the punch bowl, leaning all over Grumpy Pein and going on and on about the "springtime of youth" and exclaiming "YOSH!" every time a girl came within ten feet. Grumpy Pein was about to crush the boy's skull when he suddenly called out to a girl, stumbling away as if drunk.

"Sakura-chan! Oi! Whoa...sorry, Satan," the apologized, tripping over Jiraiya's devil tail.

A pink haired girl cosplaying as Little Bo Peep stopped dead, her two companions running into her.

"I have to go," Sakura whispered darkly and started to walk backwards out the door when her two friends grabbed her by each arm and dragged her forward.

"Sasuke-kun, help me!" she moaned, clinging to the boy dressed as Daffy Duck. He pushed her away and stalked over to a corner to plot his brother's death alone.

"I'll save you, Sakura-chan! Datte bayo!"

"No, Naruto." Sakura punched him in the mask (he was dressed as Michael Myers from Halloween) and stomped off, heading for a group of giggling girls, which even the drunk Rock Lee was afraid to approach.

"Killer party," Kankurou slurred, raising his plastic up to Sasori. Or rather, down, since Sasori was a few inches shorter than the young puppeteer wannabe, even with the feather ears on his hood. Sasori glared up at Kankurou, giving his costume a look over. He'd postponed relieving Kakuzu and Hidan of their candy distributing duties because he couldn't figure out what, or who, Kankurou was dressed as, and it was driving him insane. Top hat....long black curly hair...a guitar...he could be a generic rock star, but the top hat made it look as if Kankurou was indeed a specific guitarist.

"Danna, come on already, un. I wanna see the trick or treaters!" Deidara pouted.

"Alchemists don't whine, brat."

"But danna!"

"Go wait outside for me then," Sasori snapped.

"Not by myself!"

Sasori couldn't stand it anymore. He had to ask him. How...embarrassing.

"What are you supposed to be?" Sasori blurted. Kankurou smiled slyly at the puppet in an owl suit.

"I'm not a what. I'm a who."

"Which person?" Sasori asked, careful to avoid a certain word that he knew, he just knew the second class puppeteer wanted him to use.

Kankurou took a sip of his drink, and started to choke.

Cough. "-Slud-" -cough- "-Uzon-"

"Who?!" Sasori blurted. Deidara snorted. Sasori slapped the blond in the face with a feathered wing and turned to Kankurou again, who was doubled over, laughing amidst his coughing fit.

"Saul..." -giggle- "...Hudson."

"WHO?!"

"Slash, you...moron," Kankurou gasped, still chuckling.

"Who is that?"

Deidara slapped himself this time.

"Danna...you're old, shouldn't you know, un?"

Sasori, in a rare outburst of rage that would make Kakuzu proud, threw himself at Kankurou, throttling him, knocking his top hat off.

"WHO? WHO? WHOOOOOOOOO?!" Sasori screeched. Feathers and strands of hair flew everywhere.

"Hey, man," Dopey Pein slurred, breaking the two up. "Make love, not war, dudes."

xxx

"Thank God you guys are here," Kakuzu announced. "Hidan's taken his costume to heart, and these little punks are demanding more candy. I'm going to kill someone, and since Hidan's not in my immediate kill zone..." Kakuzu trailed off, eying a toddler dressed as a caterpillar with pure loathing. The caterpillar had a pillow case held up high.

"Please sir, I want some more."

"YOU ALREADY GOT TWO TOOTSIE ROLLS AND A DUM DUM SUCKER OUT OF ME, YOU CAN'T HAVE ANY MORE!" Kakuzu bellowed, throwing his bowl of candy down and raising his fist in the air. Bright blue strings suddenly clung to Kakuzu's arm, and forced it down.

"Okay, that's enough."

"Kuzu angry," Kakuzu growled, sounding much like the Incredible Hulk.

"Go in the house," Sasori commanded softly, "and have some punch."

He guided Kakuzu inside with chakra strings, and heaved a sigh of relief once Kakuzu was out of their sight.

"Anger management isn't helping, un."

"Not at all," Sasori agreed. Then did a double take.

"Wait a minute...You're not referring to me, are you?"

Deidara was about to answer, when there was a high pitched cry. Both Akatsuki tensed up, looking to the street.

"Ha ha ha ha! I'll chop off your head!" Kids ducked for cover as a crazed man with his head in one hand and a sword in the other galloped on a horse down the street. Kakuzu had been right. Hidan thought he really was the Headless Horseman.

"I think Christopher Walken was better, un."

"Who?!"

"Hee hee!"

"...shut up, brat."

A familiar duo walked up the drive way and Tobi hopped over the step and onto the porch.

"Tobi wants some candy!"

Deidara pulled the large bowl of candy close to his bosom.

"You live here, un. Go somewhere else." Itachi pushed Tobi gently aside and glared down at Deidara.

"No one denies my foolish little brother pleasure but me," he threatened. Deidara clapped his hands together.

"I'm going to give you to the count of three to get the fuck off our porch. If you don't, I'll blow your pretty face to pieces, un."

Itachi's eyes widened, but not in fear. The commas surrounding his pupils swirled and before Deidara could turn his head or close his eyes, it was too late. Deidara stood there, mouth hanging open, hands falling to his sides.

"Mind fuck," Itachi whispered.

It happened so fast, Sasori could do nothing.

"Great," Sasori sighed, throwing some candy in Tobi's pumpkin bucket.

"YAY!" Tobi exclaimed.

Itachi closed his eyes, and Deidara fell over, Sasori catching him in his white feathery wings.

"Let's go, foolish little brother."

"Mkay!"

xxx

Kisame, this whole time, was downstairs by the door to the basement. He was in charge of the Haunted Dungeon, but it wasn't working out too well. The shark nin was afraid of the dark, Zetsu kept popping up (in all his spray painted yellow glory) and chasing Kisame or the guests, saying "WAKA WAKA WAKA" and gnashing his teeth. So, to say the least, Kisame was rather on edge. The hungry plant had even gone so far as to eat Kisame's Samehada. The shark nin felt extremely alone and vulnerable. And then a duck, Little Bo Peep and Michael Myers approached him. Somehow, the girl scared him the most.

"Is this place really scary?" Naruto asked the shark nin. Kisame's little eyes widened.

"Zetsu's still hungry..."

Sasuke rolled his eyes.

"Nice costume," the duck scoffed. Naruto lifted up his mask to get a better look at Kisame.

"Oh, I know who you are! Sub Zero from Mortal Kombat, right?"

Kisame seemed to perk up a little.

"Yeah, he's my favorite."

"Raiden's mine! Did you ever see the movie? It was awesome, datte bayo!"

"...this is lame. I'll be outside," Sasuke announced, starting to slink away. Sakura clung to Sasuke, however, forcing him to stay.

"No, Sasuke-kun, you have to protect me!"

"Pfft. Whatever."

"Er...it's two dollars a piece," Kisame said, gesturing to the sign posted on the wall.

"Two dollars?" Sasuke echoed, indignant, "but we already paid ten dollars per person just to get in! I think the dungeon should be free!"

"Datte bayo!"

"But, Kakuzu-san will kill me if I don't get the money!" Kisame insisted, eyes tearing up.

"We'll make you a deal," Sasuke started, smirking up at the shark nin dressed as a fictional ninja.

"Let us in. If we get scared, we'll pay you when we get out. Alri-"

"FALCON PUNCH!" Sakura screamed, knocking Kisame in the face and sending him smashing into the wall.

"You're a bitch," Sasuke muttered, impressed. Sakura smiled and grabbed Sasuke by the arm.

"I know."

Kisame groaned. Zetsu emerged out of the floor and grinned.

"Flawless victory," he said, and started to nibble on Kisame's boot.

xxx

Sasori had given up on trying to restrain Deidara from his spazzes. Whatever Itachi had done to his partner had worn off far too soon. They'd run out of all the decent candy remarkably fast, as the two artists were more generous than the miser and the priest had been. So, to make the stuff last longer, Deidara was making clay look a likes. The only problem was, they were explosive. Somehow, Deidara had managed to make his clay creations explode by clapping his hands Edward Elric style. Each time he did this, he'd yell "Alchemy is a bang, un!"

"You're going to attract the authorities, you know," Sasori droned on, but Deidara was too in the moment to listen.

"Hee hee, I put a shitload of C4 candy corns in that Frankenstein kid's bag. Watch this, un. Three...two...one...BANG!"

Deidara slapped his hands together and there was a massive explosion. Car alarms went off, trick or treaters ran for their lives, and when the smoke cleared, all that was left of the kid with the C4 candy corns...was a crater in the street.

"Well done, brat. We're going to prison."

Sasori sat down on the porch steps, watching Deidara blow children to pieces. Maybe it was time he left the Akatsuki and pursued his dream: to work in a Pledge factory. He'd be the best tester the company had ever seen. Sighing contentedly, the puppet lost himself to his daydreams, until someone stepped on his head.

"Oh, sorry, I thought you were a dummy," a serpentine voice said, snickering. Sasori thought he knew that voice...but when he glanced up at the inconsiderate bastard who was about to be puppetized, he didn't see a snake in ninja's clothing, but a wizard. The pale face and purple eye makeup seemed suspicious, however.

"I heard you were throwing the biggest Halloween party in the land," the evil wizard said. Sasori unruffled his feathers, smoothing his ears.

"Yeah, that's right. But no snakes allowed," Sasori warned. Orochimaru laughed, looking around at his cronies, who all seemed to be dressed in black cloaks. Kabuto stepped forward to protect his master.

"I'm not just any snake, owl," Orochimaru hissed. "I am Lord Voldemort. And these are my beloved Death Eaters." Orochimort gestured to his henchmen. Sasori sighed. This might get ugly.

xxx

"That was the lamest haunted dungeon ever. I want my money back," Sasuke whined as they left the house. Naruto had wanted to stay for the party, but a fight had broken out between a warlock and a giant owl, so they decided it was best to just head to Ichiraku Ramen for a bite to eat and call it a day.

xxx

Sasori managed to bind all of the dark wizard wannabes with chakra strings within minutes. Orochimort and his crew were lined up along the porch like a living display of Harry Potter bondage. Deidara planned on blowing them all up (of course, since that was always his plan), but Sasori decided there'd been enough carnage for one day.

"Hey, un. More trick or treaters!" Deidara happily announced, rummaging in his bag for more clay. His face fell into a pout.

"No more clay, brat?" Sasori drawled. "Such a pity."

Sasori failed to see the middle finger Deidara gave him as he turned to see the new trick or treaters approach. There were four, one adult and three teens. The adult was dressed in the most satanic costume ever conceived. Sasori could hardly believe his eyes. Deidara started to whimper, and hid behind the puppet.

"Oh my God oh my God oh my God..." Deidara chanted to himself.

For, the costume that the tall man wore was the very likeness of a certain green clay devil, the very same creature the Akatsuki's mailbox took the form of. Yes. It was...Gumby.

"HAPPY HALLOWEEN!" the man bellowed. The two Akatsuki shuddered. They'd never imagined Gumby would sound so enthusiastic.

"It is the springtime of youth, and I am the beautiful green beast, Maito Gai!"

"You mean Gumby, right sir?" the one dressed as Harry Potter exclaimed just as loudly. The two Akatsuki shuddered again at the mention of the hellish name.

"Can you give us some candy so we can go already?" the other teen boy said dully. He appeared to be coated with several kilos of glitter. It sparkled on his pale skin every time he moved. The only girl, painted up just as pale, lacked the glitter. She looked equally as exasperated, though.

"We don't have...any more c-c-candy, un," Deidara whispered, blue eyes staring fearfully up at the Gumby man.

"Well can you tell us if you've seen Sakura-chan?" Harry Potter asked, pointing a stick at the blond.

"Who?" Sasori asked. Everyone snickered. Sasori sighed.

"Merlin's Beard, I didn't even notice you! HEDWIG!" Lee squealed, pulling Sasori up into a bone crushing hug.

"I'm not a head wig, I'm an owl. And we're out of candy. So, go away."

"But what about Sakura-chan?" Lee asked, eyes brimming with tears.

"Lee," the girl sighed, "we've been all over town looking for her. I'm tired, and I'm sick of being harrassed by Twilight fans."

No sooner had Tenten said this, did a gaggle of teen girls run up to the house, squealing at Neji and attacking Tenten with their pumpkin buckets.

"EDWARD'S MINE!"

"GET AWAY FROM HIM, MARY SUE!"

"EWWWW, IT'S BELLA, KILL IT WITH FIRE!"

Tenten AKA Bella was about to break out her weapons when Gai stepped in. All he had to do was smile, and the girls ran for cover. After all, a Gai in a Gumby suit was rather terrifying. Neji scratched at the glitter glued to his face, wincing. He had a bad feeling he was alergic. Sparkling vampires...this was the worst halloween costume ever. Next year, Neji thought about boycotting Halloween altogether. Sitting at home watching bad slasher movies was a hell of a lot better than following around a giant Satanic green bean and The Boy Who Lived.

Without candy or their Sakura-chan, Team Gai started to leave, but Lee spotted the Death Eaters tied up on the porch, and brandished his wand.

"I challenge you to a duel!" Lee yelled to Orochimort, and threw his stick at him.

"Ow!" Orochimort yelped, clutching at his eye where the stick poked him.

"Serves you right for killing my parents!"

"Okay, Lee, I think you've had enough candy tonight," Tenten said, and she and Neji pulled Lee away. Another Death Eater got free of his bonds and lunged at Lee, crying out "OROCHIMARU-SAMA!" as he did so. Another fight broke out. Sasori and Deidara turned off their porch light and went inside, leaving the wizards, vampires, mary sue and Gumby to duke it out.

xxx

The few guests that managed to survive the Zetsu Pac-Man and Konan's party dip started to leave, and Pein was relieved. It was a lot more trouble than it was worth, throwing a Halloween party. Next year, they'd just stay in. To hell with it all. Plus, he figured it was only a matter of time until the FBI was knocking at their door with a battering ram, since Hidan was still on the loose, and Deidara had killed quite a few innocent people. Plus, there was still some sort of commotion going on outside on the porch.

The Akatsuki leader sighed, and settled into a shitty horror movie. Konan, still in her Snow White costume, rested her head on his lap, and Pein drifted off to sleep...

He heard a piercing scream, and jumped awake. It was dark, the TV screen was just static. He felt a reassuring hand on his thigh, and thinking it was Konan, he laid his hand on hers. Only, the skin felt deathly cold and rough. There was a foul stench in the air. Pein turned to ask Konan if Zetsu had left his dinner on the floor...but instead of Konan's smooth, young face, he saw a rotting corpse. A worm wriggled out of its empty eye sockets, and Pein screamed, jumping to his feet. He stumbled backwards, fell, and everything faded to black.

"AAAARGH!" Pein screamed, eyes snapping open. He was back on the couch. The TV was the same snowy static. But he was alone this time. No zombie. He thought he heard bells, and he looked around the room. High heels clicked on the kitchen floor, bells jingling with every step. Pein eyed the entrance to the kitchen warily, and Konan stepped through, wearing a naughty Mrs. Claus outfit. Pein didn't know what the hell to think.

"Why'd you change your costume?" he asked.

"What are you talking about? This is the same one from earlier." She looked equally as puzzled as Pein felt.

"No...you were dressed as Snow White. And I was the Six Dwarfs..." Pein looked down at himself for the first time. He was wearing a horrid green sweater with a reindeer on it. What the hell was going on?

"What happened with the fight outside? Did the cops show up? Hidan ever come back? And whatever became of the Ninja Snacker?"

Konan laughed and sauntered over to Pein, sitting in his lap.

"I think," she said, taking off her hat and placing it on Pein's head, "you've had too many candy canes, dear."

"But...it's Halloween," Pein insisted. Konan's eyes widened.

"No, it's Christmas Eve. What's in those candy canes anyway?"

"What indeed," Pein murmured.

xxx

END