Okay. This was written for a challenge…’Alice’s Writing Contest’. The terms are at the bottom. This is my first ever one-shot, I find them hard to write, so it’s not that great. XD. Enjoy!

Disclaimer: This is totally not mine. Maximum Ride does not belong to me…however the bipolar joke does…but only because my friend said this actually believing it was true. I almost pissed myself. XD

It was a normal January day. As normal as a January day can be when you are a bird kid not only on the run, but also with a rather dodgy digestive system and a sister who when hyper turns a pretty strange shade of purple thanks to her great-but-not-as-far-as-fabulous skill of changing her appearances. Together, we are an amazing team. Her, with her changing appearance thing and me with my voice throwing thingy, we would make the perfect double act. We could go to a circus and everything…except they would probably evacuate the tent if I let one rip, as people would probably think a nuclear bomb had just exploded out of my ass…I mean bottom. Don’t tell Max I said that word, or she will kick my ass. I swear, she’s so snarky it’s unbelievable.

Anyway, it was a normal January day, and we were shopping for some much needed winter clothes…Iggy was complaining because he thought we should have been given clothes for the Christmas that had just passed…obviously he didn’t get the meaning of family outing. Can you imagine me doing a snob sniff here? I totally can. In fact, I’m doing it now. It’s fun.

“Max, what’s that mean?” my innocent little baby sister (haha, yeah right) was pointing at a sign.

Is your partner bipolar? Sort him out, with these miracle pills!

“What bit sweetie?” Max was frowning at the sign, and Fang was clearly trying hard not to do the same. I wonder if I kicked him here he might actually do it? On second thoughts, if he kicks me back I would fly all the way to France. Without my wings.

“Bipolar? What’s bipolar mean?” Her blue eyes turned towards Max, wide and innocent, as though she wasn’t reading her thoughts, even though we all knew she totally was.

“Bipolar? It means…”

“A bisexual from Poland. Never speak to one, they’re trouble.” Iggy, who was trying, and failing, to keep a straight face, interrupted Max. Our fearless leader (except for snakes…and needles…and claustrophobia…oh and even she is scared of Fang in a mood, dude has a scary angry face…) gave him a death glare, which, as I pointed out to her, was pretty pointless.

“Max? You do know that giving Iggy that glare is completely useless? It’s like me saying ‘I bet I can beat Iggy at charades’, which, as we all know, would be pointless as Iggy rocks at the damn game. Even though he can’t see what we are doing. Dude, you’re totally superman, there is no doubt. Only you can play charades when you’re blind.” The Igster grinned at me, and I didn’t bother grinning back, because that would totally defeat my point. Obviously.

“Guys? Can we please just go shopping? I want to get out of here as soon as I can, I’m allergic to malls.” Fang gave a silent nod towards Max, who had spoken, before walking towards he lift. Lifts are so cool; they like defy gravity and move. I know chains or whatever pulls them, but thinking they defy gravity make them all that bit cooler…because it means they are totally like us. Which is always cool, of course, because we are…well…us. The only uncool thing about them is that they are tight spaces…but we are only in them for a couple of seconds.

“Oh my God! I love lifts, don’t you just love lifts? They are amazing, it’s like they defy gravity and pull us up. The only bad thing about them is that they are tight, but that doesn’t matter because we are in it together, and they are glass so it’s all good. It’s all good in the hood. Haha! That rhymes. Don’t you just love lifts, though? Fang? Don’t you love lifts?” Nudge, predictably, turned towards Fang, blinking up at him.

“Yeah…they’re great…” Sarcastic much? Nudge just scowled at him, and I laughed, which made Nudge scowl at me. Creepy.

Once we had finally gotten into the lift, and used it, with much squealing from Nudge, we were off to the shops. The first one we went into was so awesome, there was tinsel everywhere, trying to be sold, but seriously who buys tinsel in January? Anyway, there was this shop that was trying to sell everything that had anything to do with Christmas…there was even three socks in one pair…if that makes sense. I wanted it…badly.

“Max? Can we get these socks? There are, like, three of them. How cool is that?” I knew I couldn’t do puppy eyes, but nevertheless I tried.

“When I grow my third leg, we can. But, until then, no. Never.” She took the socks from me (they had Santa on them! How could she?!) And threw them in a random direction…unfortunately, or fortunately depending on how you look at it, hitting a woman straight on the forehead. Let me tell you, it was hilarious. The woman she hit was wearing what could only be called plain. Brown hair, brown jacket, brown trousers, white top. She was so dull; I would even go as far as calling her frumpy.

We ran from the shop, trying not to die from laughter, and ran straight into another shop…a shop that seemed to specialize in old ladies underwear. I noticed this because Fang ran straight into a pair of what looked like a huge, white fabric diaper. Now, if you ever need cheering up, picture that. It makes me laugh. Madly.

Some time later, and me and Angel were walking around a toyshop. Well, I say walking, but really she was dragging me to where she wanted to go. Cuddly toys surrounded me. Max had told us to stock up, because we were never shopping again. I think I speak for all us boys when I say thank god for that.

“Ooh. Icy. Frigid. Hard core. I like it.” Aren’t them dog things that yap and flip and stuff so cool? They, like, bark and walk and flip. It’s awesome! I wonder if I swapped one for Total Angel would notice? Maybe if I spoke for it occasionally in an annoying little screechy voice…?

“Do you think Max will let me buy this?” Angel was holding a huge blonde teddy, it as almost as big as her. I looked at the price tag.

“Only if I get the socks.”

Okay, written for ‘Alice’s Writing Contest.’ In the POV of the Gasman, because he is amazingly awesome. XD. As soon as I saw the word elevator I knew, ‘oh God, this is going to have to be either a cliché of hotel or shopping centre’. I prefer the shopping centre, so I decided on that.

This is the prompt:

Everyone has to have one speaking line, must be in a point of view (don’t care whose...).
Topic: January. In general.
100- 1200 words.
No M. At all.
Don’t get super mushy. Ew.
Must partially take place in an elevator.
No OCs, no major OOC.

MUST include:
“When I grow my third leg, we can. But until then, no. Never.”
“Max, what’s that mean?”
“Bet I can beat Iggy at charades.”
“Only if I get the socks.”
“Ooh. Icy. Frigid. Hard core. I like it.”
And the words purple, frumpy, snarky, and fabulous.