SANTA'S LITTLE HELPERS

Ahem. It's been ages again. I don't even have a good explanation. I just haven't been up for writing. But as you know, it's the season of the heart and all these fluffy and cuddly things make DMC write a lot of cheesy stories. Be glad I'm not publishing all of them. Anyway, enjoy your holidays, have a very happy new year and most of all, remember to review, eh?

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She had bought a new dress.

It was bright red, with gold strings in the hem and some dark green decorations. Lots of frill and lace. It had been rather expensive and wasn't really worth the money, subconsciously she knew she would never wear it again. Somehow it felt too... Christmas-themed. But she had wanted it the moment she'd seen it, she'd laid her eyes on it and she'd known. And it hadn't been a normal kind of reaction (as in "oh, such a pretty dress, I'd love to have that!") but a sort of mania, as if she would've painted signs picturing the dress and paraded around with them, stolen a bit of string from it and worshipped it in the middle of the night... in short, died without the dress (as in "OMG!!1 It's John Depp, Ooh! I LOOOOVE YOUUU JOHN!!").

She didn't know WHY.

Also, as if she'd been controlled by some primitive urge, she'd bought tons of little Play-Do-trains and trucks, called Legoh factories looking for certain models, spent hours at Toys & Us... Then she'd wrapped every single toy with colourful, pretty paper and tied them with shiny bows. It wasn't NORMAL. But she knew she wasn't alone, Link had also been doing things that despite being rather odd felt completely natural; peeking into houses where small children lived, writing down every bad deed he'd happened to see since the beginning of November, dancing and singing Hi-Ho (writer's note: it should not feel natural to an elf being a song sung by dwarves) and trying to build a sleigh. Yoshi had not liked his attempts of trying to see if the dinosaur could fly or turn its nose red.

The two swordsmen were discussing this dilemma that was already and would devastatingly affect everyone's Christmas. Being swordsmen it was their duty to protect everyone, no matter how big or small, and no matter was the threat a mouse, spider or a snake. They refused to answer questions about suicidal missions to kill dragons, hydras, griffins and so on in the name of all that's good and nice (and probably some really pretty princess), but the Christmas problem they had set to solve:

"You know, if I didn't know Christmas is just a marketing trick, I'd say they are Santa's elves." Marth said, slowly sipping his coffee. As an idea it felt crazy, but with all the strange conduct it could've been possible.

Roy nodded, chuckling. "It's as if there's some sort of Santa gene that awakes every Christmas."

"Like last year, you remember how they covered the entire Smash Building with decorations? Every inch was filled with spray-on snow, little angel figures, candy and chocolates, stars made of cardboard, long sparkly strings and shiny balls..." Marth reminisced jeeringly. It HAD NOT been funny back then, waking up with a star on his tiara and spray-on snow on his armour.

"The tree was the worst." Roy said, shaking his head. "Why? I mean, I can understand decorating a Christmas tree... but for Christ's sake, did it have to be a 20 feet tall pine tree?!"

"We've got to do something this year", Marth put his coffee back on the table. "It's in everyone's best interest if those two can satisfy their urges somewhere far away from the Smash Building."

From the next table, Yoshi nodded and squealed, lifting his broken leg on the table. It was followed by Pikachu's leg and Pichu merely squeaked, it was in too much pain from the last sleigh falling down on it. Mario pointed at his mustache that someone had bleached, also his cap had been stolen and replaced by a stocking cap. Luigi had had pretty much the same fate. The ice climbers, Popo and Nana complained how sore their hands were from building all the snowmen. Ness and Young Link sat by their table, eating their breakfast with trembling hands, throwing scared glances everywhere, knowing SOMEONE was watching were they naughty or nice. Peach hummed Santa Baby all day long, and her wishlist was pretty much the same as in the song. Except for the convertible, she wanted a pink one, not light blue. And yes, it matters.

"Yes. You're right." Roy nodded. Every single Smasher had already suffered from the two elves.

"I say..."Marth leaned toward him. "Let's take them to the forest and leave them there. It'll take them days to find back and Christmas is tomorrow."

The redhead's eyes lit up. "What a good idea! But how will we get them to the forest without them knowing?"

The noble smiled mischievously: "You know what elves cannot resist? Cookies and milk, just like Santa."

The redhead nodded, his seriousness melting away. There was still some hope that their Christmas would not be ruined by Link and Zelda. They just had to execute their plan quickly (What? it's a Christmas-story, no one's going to be executed), before they dragged another pine tree to their living room and started the FRENZY. The thought made the two swordsmen shiver. Roy and Marth quickly excused themselves and hurried to the nearest store for cookies and milk.

The following morning the elves awoke to the sweet scent of cookies. Link opened his window and in poured fresh winter air, crispy with frost. Twenty snowmen saluted him on the yard, all standing still with their brooms pointing at the sky and the deliriously happy coal smiles frozen on their faces. He exhaled deeply, surprised that he actually identified butterscotch cookies from their smell. He didn't even LIKE cookies, yet he craved badly for them. As he was closing the window, he saw Zelda toiling through the thick snow covering all the land. She was huffing and sweating, but forced herself to go forward, leaving a trail behind her. When she reached the first cookies, all Link could hear was her gobbling them like she'd never had cookies before in her life, all he could see was her hunchbacked on her treasure. He HAD to ACT. He didn't know why, he just needed to eat those cookies, just as she did. He jumped out of the window, landing on his feet like a cat and began after Zelda, hoping that she hadn't eaten all of them yet.

As he reached her, she was already licking her fingers, sticking out her tongue to him. Link bit his lower lip, wondering whether or not he should stick his finger down her throat just to make her puke when he saw another pile of cookies about 30 feet away. Driven by some primitive urge, he took a hold of Zelda's face and pushed her on her back as he began towards them. She shrieked as she fell, but was not yet defeated. Ferociously she jumped after him, both reaching for the cookies.

Back at the building, Roy and Marth looked at them frolic in the snow, their hands crossed on their chests, wearing smug smiles.

"This year, we're safe."

"I sure hope so." Marth said, watching how the elven disappeared into the forest, fighting for cookies. He would never tell Roy, but he had saved a box of them for himself. Lucky the elven hadn't smelled it.

Young Link trotted to them, peeking out of the window. He had to tip-toe in order to do that. "What's happening?" He asked as he saw the red clothes flash amidst the trees.

"Good riddance", Roy ascertained.

"You mean...?" Young Link didn't say it out loud, knowing that saying it would immediately mark him as naughty in the other elven eyes. They saw him when he was sleeping, they knew when he was awake, they knew when he'd been bad or good, so he tried to be good for goodness' sake! Still, at times he wondered why he never went insane like the two other elves when the holidays were getting closer. Maybe he was just too young, still a part of the risk group of children balancing on the thin line of good and bad. He tried not to worry, he knew he had been an angel all year, while according to what he had heard adults were always doing the nasty. No wonder they didn't expect Christmas so much, they knew they had been naughty. Idiots.

The swordsmen nodded, shook hands as the congratulated each other, giving one final glance to the forest where no sign of red was detected any longer. All of the smashers sighed in relief, Young Link and the other children squealed with happiness and ran to the yard to destroy all the snowmen. The other smashers moved all the decorations back into the elves' rooms, knowing that was where they came from, where they hibernated through summer.

A few hours later Zelda and Link had found the last cookies and finished them all. There had also been a carton of milk which they had drunk, not understanding why they hadn't been able to resist the temptation. As the last drops of milk ran down their throats, the spell began to vanish. Generally it occurred to them; they were alone in the forest with no idea where they'd come from, Christmas was just a few hours away (and wow, the forest was full of such beautiful, perfect Christmas trees) and they still hadn't decorated the Smash Building. There was so much left to do, but how would they find their way back home?

"Link... I'm scared", Zelda finally uttered.

"Me too, we need to return before it gets dark."

They began to wade through the forest, hand in hand, looking for their own trail but it had been lost. Too many animals had left their trails on the cottony snow, wind had lifted its gentle crystals on its wings and frolicked with them, trees had swept the ground with their branches, caressing the snowy blanket that covered them all. It would take them hours to find the right trail.

Link and Zelda walked in the thickening snow as sun set, throwing its orange flames on the sky, colouring the clouds with its huge invisible brush. Night fell over them like someone had switched the lights off, darkness fell like a blanket on the forest. Temperature dropped below zero, air became crispier and fresher, there was a smell of pine on its back. The tall pine trees swayed in the darkness, dancing their own Christmas dance, sighing as a gentle night wind whispered amidst their tops. On a dark blue background thousands of stars lit up. They looked down on them, one shining brighter than the others. It was almost unnaturally bright, so bright the two elves stopped to look at the beautiful sky. Link put his hand around Zelda, pulling the shivering princess against him for warmth. She smiled, her eyes still fixed on the sky.

"Isn't it beautiful?"

Link nodded. Somewhere deep inside he knew he was in a terrible hurry, that he had no time to look at stars, he had to get to work. But as he tried to think of what to do, he came up with nothing. It was just a feeling, like instinct. It was Christmas, so he was in a hurry, he had lots to do, he was entrusted with responsible tasks. Everyone was counting on him, to do... THAT. You know, that something they do on Christmas. He had the qualifications and motivation, but no purpose. He felt like a reindeer without a red nose.

As they stood there, one of the stars fell down with a high velocity, spraying snow everywhere. The two elves looked at the crater with widened eyes, unable to come up with a sensible explanation to give to each other. A meteorite would not suffice. Those things had nothing to do with the holidays. Link could almost swear he'd heard the star yell 'HEEEEYYYYY' as it came down, but it was a silly thought.

OH NO IT WAS NOT.

"Hey!" A voice called to them. Soon it could be matched to a brightly glowing ball, also known to the two Hylians as Navi. She needed no introductions. "Hey!" She called again, when Link and Zelda just stood there, frozen on their feet. Zelda thought it was because it was so cold, Link knew it was because he was terrified. He would need to listen to her screaming again, but for how long? Another ten temples and shrines? Shivers ran up and down his spine.

"Hey!" Navi fluttered around, clearly getting pissed off.

"Yes?" Zelda finally uttered, trying to flash a smile as she fixed her pretty red dress.

"Have you finally decided to join us?" The small fairy asked, poking around. Once she hit Link's forehead and the Hylian's expression turned grimmer.

Zelda glanced at her knight, who reminded her more of a snowman at the moment. "W-what?"

"You... are here by accident?" Navi asked, clearly surprised. "No one GETS LOST on Christmas. Especially an ELF."

Link had recovered slowly from his shock and stuttered: "B-but there... there were cookies..."

Zelda looked just as guilty as she ascertained: "Butterscotch."

Navi flew a circle to symbolize rolling her eyes. She was too tiny to get the message through as people normally did. "It's no accident you're here."

"Yes it is", Link said, starting to walk away from her. "We are going home. There's still LOTS to do."

"Like decorating the Christmas tree? Building a sleigh? Finding a reindeer with a red nose? Wrapping up all the gifts? Baking cookies and drinking eggnog?" Navi flew against his face, hard enough to make him wonder if he would have the qualifications to be Rudolf the red-nosed. "You're both wearing red too!"

Sadly, the fairy was right. They both had wanted to do those things among many others. They glanced at each other with scared expressions, unable to comprehend the metamorphosis from elves to Santa's little helpers. Navi had expected their reaction and chuckled, her laughter sounded like a thousand bells ringing. "Follow me. I'll show you."

They waded through the snowy forest, following the bright light of their small friend. Gradually more lights began to flicker through the trees' branches, getting brighter and brighter. The ringing of bells and singing floated on the pure white snow.

They came out of the forest to a large opening. It consisted of three large red halls, their eaves lined with bright different coloured lights, in front of them pine trees were bending under the weight of all the decorations and candles. Elves ran across the yard, singing, humming, shouting and laughing. In the middle of the yard, a large red sleigh stood still. It was beautiful with all the decorative carvings, lights, paintings and the large stacks of different kinds of presents, all of them wrapped with a different kind of paper, all of them tied with a bow more beautiful than the last. Mido was carrying more presents towards the sleigh as Saria brought reindeers to be bridled. Navi buzzed around them, ready to shine brighter than ever to light the way. All the other elves from around the world were either humming or singing 'It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas'. Link and Zelda stood stunned, admiring the beauty that lit up a whole clearing on a dark winter night.

"Hey!" Navi returned to them. "Welcome to Santa's workshop. Every elf like you awakens around Christmas and, driven by their urges, they always end up here sooner or later."

Zelda nodded. "So it means..."

Navi sighed. "Yes. It's no fairy tale that Santa has elves."

Link wasn't listening to them, he rushed to one of the toy factories and inhaled excitedly, his hands trembling. The emptiness and energy he had had, had been meant for THIS! A bubbly, happy feeling filled him inside with song and dance and laughter. It felt silly and it feels silly to write it down, but that was exactly what happened. Inside him, his Santa's little helper had fully awakened and it KNEW what it had to DO. He knew it as he saw the long lines of toys, the singing elves manufacturing them for those who wrapped them up with smiles on their faces. There were tiny plastic soldiers, wooden horses, baby dolls, action figures, stuffed animals, all kinds of toys in the making. Nothing could ruin his perfect moment of revelation. Not even... seeing Ganondorf. Link rubbed his eyes, but they weren't lying. The king of thieves was putting together a rocking horse, humming just like the rest, wearing his stocking cap a little to the side.

"Ganondorf!?" Link exclaimed as Zelda caught up with him, covering his mouth with her hand. She just stared so she didn't need to hold a hand over her own mouth. But of course Link knew how rude it was to stare so he covered her eyes with his hand. Ganondorf looked up, puzzled by the mute elf and the blind elf. Then he recognized the two, the bearer of the triforce of wisdom and the bearer of the triforce of courage, his archenemy and the girl he just liked to kidnap. He stood up and yelled:

"Who let those elves in?!"

Navi turned red as she shouted: "You're not better than them! If Santa weren't so nice, it would be you who got kicked out!"

Ganondorf looked disappointed. "But... but I...", he stuttered. Then he ran to Link and Zelda, dropping on his knees: "Please, please don't tell anyone about this! Having these urges... it's just... I can't RESIST them! I just... please... this could ruin my image..."

Link took his stocking cap off and admired it. Then he gave it back with a smile: "We're all here to have fun, aren't we?"

Zelda smiled at them and ran off, giggling as she ran through the factory, taking colourful paper into her hands and beginning to wrap up the presents. Another elf gave her a stocking cap which she received with great enthusiasm and pride. Link tried to lure her under a mistletoe, but gave up after he had kissed the same reindeer three times. Soon all three of them worked in perfect harmony, united by the magic that filled the air around them, the same magic that brought peace all over the world and united all races for that one day. That magic, which is called subconscious Christmas goodwill pressure by the boring Scrooges of this world, that magic, which we children of the season simply call universal love.

Back at the Smash Building midnight was nearing and the two swordsmen sat by the fire along with some other smashers, enjoying the peace and quiet of Christmas. Since they had arrived to the mansion every Christmas had driven them to a nervous breakdown as they tried to tranquillize the two elves. Still, no matter what, they had always managed to decorate the house from floor to roof, with colours so bright and decorations so overly cute it made them feel sick. And of course, the tree had to be bigger each year, and no, it could not be burned in the fireplace after Christmas because it was a CHRISTMAS tree. Sailing through these memories the smashers all relaxed a bit more, knowing that the two nightmares were lost in the woods, gobbling up cookies and slowly navigating their way back. Before they even knew it, Christmas would be over and everything would return to its usual circle.

The comfort they had felt was not to last. The bubble popped as they heard a thud from the roof that shook the whole building, someone saying 'Ho-ho-ho' and the fire extinguishing by itself in their fireplace.

Roy and Marth glanced at each other. It couldn't be. He didn't exist. Link and Zelda had always ACTED through the whole thing, one an elf and the other Santa (though Link's beard never grew so he usually glued cotton to his chin and spent two days trying to get it all off). But now, all the signs were there. Before they got to analyze the situation any further, the children rampaged downstairs, yelling 'Santa' in one big wave as they conquered the best seats by the fire. Their eyes were full of anticipation, so innocent and easily impressed, Roy thought as he took a few steps back. If this was the real deal, there would be lots and lots of ashes around the room as the 200-pound-grandpa would land on his butt down the chimney.

At first it seemed like no one was coming down. Then they heard grunts, laughter and swearing. Ash sprinkled down the chimney, its smell kept lingering in the room. Suddenly it became completely quiet and a moment later the doorbell rang. Young Link used all his strength to pull the door wide open, an expression of vast respect appearing on his face as the figure outside came to view. He backed up a bit, holding his breath as he did. The other children stood behind him in agape, not believing their eyes.

It really was him. They had not known what he looked like, they had only seen pictures of what everyone imagined him to look like, but what made them recognize him was his essence. He stepped over the threshold and he filled the room with joy and laughter. His belly wobbled as he laughed, his hands were large and soft, his beard like finest of cotton, his eyes dark blue with two stars in them. There was no denying, even Marth and Roy had to believe as joy filled their hearts.

And behind him, the two lost sheep, shouting: "Merry Christmas!"

The two swordsmen had nothing to say to the 25-feet-tall Christmas tree that had magically appeared to their front yard.

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Yay! Happy holidays, everyone! You know it makes my day to get your reviews!