Something I just thought up. Will be multiple chapters. Thanks to Black Wolf-Dog for ideas. I don't own House.

“Hey Wilson! Wait up!” House called after his friend. He was limping as fast as he could, his blue backpack slung over one shoulder swaying with every uneven step he took.

“What now, House?” Wilson stopped by the elevator and turned around, giving House a bored look.

“Have you ever heard of The Game?” House was smirking as the elevator dinged and the doors slid open smoothly. Both he and Wilson stepped inside, their shoulders bumping.

“No, I can’t say that I have.” Wilson rolled his eyes as he flipped through a file on his newest nine year old cancer patient. He was feeling very stressed at the moment and he really didn’t want to deal with House’s childish games.

“Ah, it’s a shame. But, somehow I expected it,” said House. Wilson looked at him through narrowed eyes; his lips were pulled tight together in a straight line.

“I’m not enabling you,” replied Wilson simply. House ignored the comment.

“The Game is designed only for individuals with superior intellectual minds.” House’s smug look wasn’t missed by Wilson as the elevator dinged once more, depositing both Wilson and House on the main floor.

“Alright, I give in. My curiosity is killing me,” Wilson deadpanned. “What the hell is The Game?”

“It’s simple, really. The object of The Game is to not think of it. If you think of The Game, you lose The Game. If you lose The Game, you have to announce it. You can never win The Game. And you’re always playing it,” House explained to him.

“Sounds childish,” Wilson opened the file he was holding and headed in the direction of the clinic.

“Right, you couldn’t go a whole day without losing!” House taunted. Wilson closed the file and looked at him, his brown eyes tired as he frowned.

“I could go a whole week without losing because I’m not playing,” Wilson told him.

“But everyone else is playing. I know how much you like to be a part of the crowd.” House put on his fake pout and widened his brilliant blue eyes. Wilson let out an exasperated sigh.

“Fine. I’ll play your stupid little game. But you can’t fool me, House. I have too much on my mind to think about petty things like ‘The Game’.” Wilson tucked the file under his arm and turned towards the front desk in the clinic.

House looked too smug as he limped out of the clinic. He was so going to prove Wilson wrong.

“What was that about?” Cuddy’s voice interrupted his fast teetering gait as he tried to make it to the door.

“Wilson doesn’t think I can make him lose the game.” House turned to face his boss.

“Dammit House, I lost the damn Game.” Cuddy’s hands were on her hips in a flash. “You can’t make him lose. He’s got more important things to do.”

“And you don’t?” House’s eyebrow shot up.

“Touché.” Cuddy narrowed her eyes. “Two days. He’ll last two days.”

“Not a chance.”

“Put more faith in the poor guy. Fifty bucks says he’ll last two days,” Cuddy challenged.

“Deal.” House eyed her skeptically. “I’ll be collection your fifty bucks tomorrow morning.”

He turned and limped out the front doors of the hospital with a smirk in place.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Day One

House walked into his office, managing to avoid both Cuddy and Wilson so far. He had planned on tormenting and insulting the ducklings for awhile before commencing “Operation Do Humiliating Things to Wilson and Make Him Lose The Game and Win Money From Cuddy”. The title was clever and fitting, if he did say so himself. It was also a bit long. So, in his mind, he nicknamed it “Operation Lose The Game”.

His plan changed a bit when he entered the conference room, though. The ducklings were there, standing, but so where about ten nurses. They were crowded around the table. One blonde nurse picked up a piece of paper and tossed it in a basket before exiting the room, looking nervously at House.

“What the hell?” House questioned. Cameron, who had been sitting in the chair by the door, was now standing by him.

“They’re betting. On how long it will take you to make Wilson lose The Game.” Cameron was smiling.

“What are you going to do? Stop me?” House’s expression didn’t change.

“No. That’s not my job,” Cameron replied.

“I see.” House turned around and disappeared back in his office. After about an hour, the nurses quit coming and going and he decided it was time to begin “Operation Lose The Game”.

Nonchalantly he leaned back in his office chair, trying to see if Wilson was sitting in his chair. Much to delight, Wilson was sitting at his desk. His fingers were tapping away at the keyboard of his computer and he seemed intent on whatever he was doing. House leaned forward and turned to his own computer. The link to the website was already in an email. All he had to do was click send. He had been searching through his best bookmarked porn sites for the entire hour, trying to find the perfect one.

He pulled open his desk drawer and pulled out the marker he had brought from home. It was one of those watercolor markers that don’t dry right away. He shoved the marker into his pocket, pulled out his Vicodin and popped a couple into his mouth, and he clicked send.

Standing abruptly, he glanced once more across the balcony. Wilson had paused in his typing. Trying to hide the smile, House limped into the conference room.

“Are you all done betting on how long the boy wonder oncologist can hold up against my evil mastermind?” House questioned.

“No.” Chase spoke up. He had clearly been the one collecting the bets earlier.

House merely raised an eyebrow.

“We weren’t betting on how long he could go without losing. Everyone loses. We were betting to see how long you drive him crazy before he commits suicide.” Chase never looked up from the crossword he was doing.

“Really?”

“No.” Chase shook his head without glancing up. House stared at him for a moment before leaving the conference room and heading out in the hall. Before the door closed, he didn’t miss Cameron speaking.

“Damn, I lost The Game.”

House was limping as fast as he could go. He rounded the corner and made it to the door to Wilson’s office. He peaked inside and could see the blue and purple flashing of the background of the website. Wilson’s fingers were white as he gripped the desk, trying to will himself to close the website.

Hiding his grin, he popped the cap off the marker and propped his cane on his arm. He held his left hand up in front of him and wrote “The Game” upside down and backwards. He shoved the marker back in his pocket and barged into Wilson’s office, trying to hurry things along before the marker dried.

“Hey Wilson! It’s about lun-…” House stopped, pretending to look shocked at his friend’s flushed face.

Wilson, his brown eyes wide, closed the website quickly and resisted all temptations to put his hands underneath the desk. He knew the site was trouble as soon as he saw it was from House. But it had been months since he even was tempted to look...so he gave in.

“Oh my, Jimmy! You look sick!” House stepped forward.

“I’m fine, House.” Wilson tried to continue typing the email he had been, but he couldn’t.

“But you might have a fever!” House stepped forward again and pressed the back of his left hand to Wilson’s forehead, pressing a bit harder than necessary. “Nope, I guess your fine.” House shrugged after a moment and pulled away. He tried really hard not to start laughing at the splotchy purple marker on Wilson’s forehead that very clearly read “The Game”.

“I could’ve told you that.” Wilson grumbled. House hid his hand as he reached for the door.

“Either way, you may want to take care of that party in your pants before you go to your meeting with Cuddy.” House opened the door and spoke loudly. “I find it best to relieve myself before meeting with her so that it’s less tempting when she talks about bending you over her desk!”

Wilson ducked his head to hide his embarrassment from his annoying friend as the door closed loudly. He sighed, waiting a few moments before making his way down the hall towards the bathroom.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

House had paged Cuddy as soon as he spotted Wilson making his way down the hall. Nurses were smiling and giggling as he walked by, and Wilson just waved and smiled at them. He was oblivious.

After Wilson went into the bathroom, House when to the door and stood outside it. Soon, he was joined by Cuddy and the Ducklings.

“Well? What did you page me for?” Cuddy asked. House was about to reply, but he was interrupted by yelling inside the bathroom.

“HOUSE! WHAT THE HELL?” Wilson’s angered voice echoed, even behind the closed door.

“That is what I paged you for.” House smirked. Seconds later, the door was wretched open to show Wilson, shaking with anger and “The Game” still written across his forehead. The Ducklings stifled their laughter at the disgruntled oncologist’s expression.

“I. Lost. The. Game.” Wilson said through gritted teeth. He disappeared back into the men’s room to try and wash off the marker.

“I believe you owe me.” House extended his palm out. Cuddy, looking slightly amused and slightly frustrated, slapped a fifty dollar bill into his palm and turned around to walk away. His team walked away as well, laughing the whole way.

House turned to the door, stuffing the fifty in his pocket. “Don’t worry! If you scrub hard enough it should come off! The marker was washable!”

With a smirk, he turned around and limped back to his office.

TBC

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