|Last Minute Christmas
Author: Arra Frost PM
Sasuke has always despised Christmas, but of course he has to have the most Christmas happy boyfriend that ever did live. Last minute shoppers, last minute snow storms and last minute car crashes. SasuxNaru, shounen-ai, & xmas lights yaoiRated: Fiction M - English - Humor/Drama - Sasuke U. & Naruto U. - Words: 4,657 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 24 - Follows: 1 - Published: 12-25-08 - Status: Complete - id: 4743173
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
Good afternoon everyone. I hope you all had a wonderful Christmas or whatever holiday you celebrate, since I doubt many of you will be on fanfiction reading random Christmas fanfics the day of when you could be opening gifts or drinking eggnog with the family or loved ones.
I meant to post this yesterday but I had to revise it and remove over 1000 words because I didn't like where it was going. I hope you like it, and please review if you have the time! Thanks ^.^
Warnings: SasuxNaru (which means a gay story between Sasuke and Naruto), shounen-ai with suggestions of yaoi, Christmas orientated (I'm not conforming to every single holiday in a single fic, I celebrate Christmas, so do they), swearing, and mature subject matter.
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or any of the songs mentioned in this fic
Last Minute Christmas
The snow, the music, the lights, the trees, the eggnog, the fire, the presents, the television specials, the red, the white and the green...
I Hate It All.
It's not a happy time of the season about families and friends gathering together to be merry and joyous. It's traffic jams, lines all through the stores, packed parking lots, stress levels through the roof, and empty bank accounts. All because of one stupid little thing...
Last Minute Christmas Shoppers.
I Hate Them All.
Stupid fucking last minute shoppers get on my last minute nerves! It's not as though Christmas sneaks up on you! It's on the same damn day every god damn fucking year!
There is no reason people need to wait until the last week and right up until the eve then run around frantic yelling "Oh no, Christmas is tomorrow? I need to buy everyone's gifts in three hours!" It's moronic and pointless, just like the gifts. There is no one on this Earth that needs a dancing and singing penguin trapped inside a Christmas tree!
It is an idiotic, useless holiday that should never have been invented and commercialized.
"Sasuke would you quit angsting already! We need to go Christmas shopping!"
And, of course, my boyfriend just happens to be one of those last minute Christmas shoppers that I would love to strangle with Christmas lights and drown in a pool of eggnog. Not that I would actually do that to my beloved boyfriend... I'd merely tie him up with said Christmas lights, lock him up in our bedroom and uh... have ourselves a happy holiday?
"What are you smirking at?" I'm brought back from my fascinating thoughts of picturing my boyfriend wrapped up in Christmas lights... only Christmas lights... by my leather jacket being thrown directly at my smirking face. "Get up, get dressed and get in the car!"
I sigh loudly and none-to impressed. "Honestly Naruto, I don't see why you couldn't have done this a week ago. Or why you have to do this at all for that matter. It's not like dog face and lazy ass really need presents."
Naruto gives me his look. The one where his left eyebrow is raised, his lips are straight and his expression is both blank and angry. He's not happy that I constantly contradict his procrastination of needless gift buying, or that I call his needless gift buying needless. Nor does he enjoy it when I put down our friends, but I do that daily so he's learned to ignore that.
"I really don't care what you think about this holiday." He says matter-of-factly, hands on his hips in a pose that couldn't look gayer, which is actually very entertaining for myself. "It is a time of giving, and friendship, and love, and laughter, and-"
"-crowds, and yelling, and Santas on the rooftop up in flames because I'm going to snap if you drag me into one of those happy holiday celebrating hellholes."
Again Naruto huffs at me, rolling his gorgeous blue eyes that look so adorable when he's frustrated and irritated with me. "Sasuke, it is a mall. It won't eat you, nor will you get swallowed up by a crowd of-"
"-ravenous joy-snatching shoppers. And you can't promise me that! Those people are insane and will kill their own grandmother for the last carton of eggnog."
"Your skills of overexaggeration never cease to astound me." His voice is sarcastic and cold. He's not very happy about my attitude, which I've had for over ten years I might add.
"Thank you," I give him my signature smirk, which earns me a death glare full of gingerbread soldiers armed with automatics. "Geez, any darker and your eyes would make Chris Cringle himself cringe." The glare doesn't ease up a bit after my light joke. My boyfriend can be quite scary when he's angry, so it's a good thing I'm not easily frightened.
I roll my eyes and frown as he continues to drill candy cane shaped holes through my body, "Fine, I'm getting up. But I'm not happy about it."
Naruto's success at moving me from my near-permanent position on the couch puts a wide ass smile on his face, "Great! Let's get in the car!" He starts towards the door but just as his hand touches the doorknob, he turns to me with a smirk that sends chills down my spine, "Oh, and thanks for volunteering to carry all the packages, you're really the sweetest boyfriend ever."
When did I say...? My eyebrow raises and my expression turns sour as I watch his back go through the open doorway and out into the snow. "Damn that idiot... I shouldn't have prolonged the inevitable."
"That's right!" Naruto hollers back from outside. That boy's hearing ability is spooky and did I mention how much I hate his power over me? Oh, I didn't? Well... I do!
Snow pelts against the windshield, wiper blades sticking as they slide across the snow covered glass. And this is the best part about last minute shopping... the last minute snow storms that always seems to hit three days before Christmas.
"Can't we just turn back?" I ask. I know what the answer will be, but I can hope can't I? I mean, when you can barely see the road in front of you and you feel like you're having non-stop orgasms because of how much pure white you're seeing, a man can hope can't he?
"No. I refuse to shop on Christmas Eve and I'm not going to show up to the Christmas party being the only ones without gifts to give." He doesn't remove his eyes from the road, which seems rather pointless when you're sitting in the passenger's seat.
"Naruto, you do realize your ability to see the road is no better than mine. And if you're struggling, imagine how I feel."
"Your vision is much better than mine and you have far better concentration than me as well, which is why you're driving and which is why I'm not distracting you." His voice was very serious and straight forward, and again his eyes didn't leave the road before us... if there's even a road in front of us.
I know he's right, which is why I huff in defeat and immaturity at losing the so-called fight against my boyfriend, who always wins, and I avert my eyes slightly, but not from whatever path that may be before us. "Well... it wouldn't be as bad if we didn't live so damn far out of town." I don't want to give up, that's just the way I am and even if it's a stupid reason I'll bring it up and try to make something of it.
"It's twenty minutes away. It's not that bad. Besides, if you were in town right now we'd be stuck in traffic and you'd be complaining about that, so be thankful we're not sandwiched between cars right now."
Again, he has a very good point. In fact, I'd probably be complaining more if we had just pulled out our driveway and directly into traffic. But then again... "That's true but if we were stuck between thousands of cars right now, I'd be able to know if we were on a road or not."
Naruto sighs loudly in disgust and finally taking his eyes off the road to glare full force at me. "You know what! I know you hate Christmas and people and socializing and crawling out from your despair of a live but would you just please grin and bare it for me and at least allow me to spread some holiday cheer!"
Holy hell I was not expecting that. This may be the first time Naruto's ever really yelled at me... or at least about something as trivial as a holiday. Not to mention my 'despair of a life'. Normally I would calmly consider what he was talking about, or make a sarcastic joke to go along with my despair of a life, but well, I suppose it's just this time of year...
"What the fuck does that mean? Huh!" I yell back with just as much volume as he had. "Yes, I hate Christmas! Yes, I'm not particularly fond of people or socializing! But it's not my fault I hate this so-called holiday, when it's only brought me misery in the past!"
"It's not my fault either! So why do you have to continue to be so miserable and force me to be miserable too? Why can't you try and be happy for my sake?" Naruto screams back at me and, I think, causes my heart to stop. His voice sounded so hurt, so sad and betrayed and when I shift my gaze from the snowy blizzard to the blonde sitting next to me, I feel my chest tighten when I see tears forming in his cerulean eyes.
Great job Sasuke, you always know just how to dish out the holiday spirit.
"Naruto... I'm sorry. I'm a jerk." I honestly mean it. I can tolerate it if he's frustrated or irritated with me or annoyed with me or even slightly pissed off at me... but I can't stand when he's truly upset with me. "I love you, and I promise to stop complaining as of now."
This gets a soft sigh of resignation out of him, and his eyes and expression soften. He's forgiven me for now, I can tell, but he's not about to drop the topic as of yet. He's been keen on that for a while. But driving in a snowy blizzard when you can barely see three inches in front of you, in a car with the heat cranked up, heading towards a mall to emerge yourself in the chaos of Christmas shopping, isn't really the place to be arguing about my lack of Christmas cheer.
"I love you too..." He mumbles, sounding annoyed with me but no longer upset, which certainly makes me happy.
I can't help but turn towards him and flash him a quick smile. That was a dreadful mistake, because the next thing I know there's a random telephone pole in the middle of the road and I have to swerve to steer clear of it and we wind up smashing into a fence that bordered the ditch that we drove down into.
The violent jerking motion from when we slammed into the fence made me rock forward towards the steering wheel and back to slam the back of my head against my seat. Naruto had a similar reaction but he actually let out some startled noises as we crashed into the ditch. I, of course, made no sound because I was gritting my teeth together painfully trying to keep us and this heap of metal alive, more or less.
"Naruto, are you all right?" I know he is, because I'm thoroughly looking over his precious body for any damages before I even consider my own. I wouldn't be able to do anything without him.
"Ye... yeah, I'm fine..." He answers, his body shaking just as much as his voice. "What about you? Are you- you're bleeding!"
Suddenly his hands are on my head, keeping it steady as he inspects my forehead. He moves his thumb across a particular section and I hiss instantly in pain. Hm... it seems I am injured. I pry my head out of his grasp and look up into the rearview mirror to see a small cut grazed across the left side of my forehead, just above the eyebrow.
"Oh, that's nothing. I must have hit my head against the steering wheel." I shrug it off as nothing, mainly because it is. A small cut here and there, nothing I haven't dealt with before.
"It's not nothing! You're bleeding! That's not nothing!" My poor boyfriend, he's always been rather unexperienced when it came to accidents and injuries and blood for that matter. One little paper cut could cause him to have a panic attack, and not just for himself but for anyone around him.
I laugh at him out loud, but not a mocking laugh, just a sweet laugh because I find my adorable boyfriend... well, adorable. "It's a little speck of blood that a Seasame Street band-aid will cover without a problem. Don't worry about it. Right now... we need to worry about where the hell we are and how we're going to get out of here."
"Just back the car up." He states simply, as though backing out of a ditch is really that easy in 20 feet of snow, probably just my overexaggeration again but still. So, to humor my boyfriend I put the car in reverse and give it some gas. The tires spin in the snow but we don't move an inch.
I raise my eyebrow as I look at him for a better solution.
"I have my cellphone, I'll call for someone to come get us and the car." Naruto quickly says, as though all the answers to this are at his disposal, and he reluctantly looks away from my cut, finally, to fish through the pockets of his winter jacket.
"It's no use if we don't know where we are. They can't just wander around here with no idea where we are, and it's not like they'd be able to see us from the road. I can barely see the fence that decided to meld with the hood of my car."
It may not be a very comforting and supportive thing to say but, what can I say, I'm a very logical person.
"You're not helping the situation." Naruto frowns at me, giving me yet another look that clearly states he is unimpressed with me.
"Neither will a blind search and rescue team." My retort once again causes him to frown, more like pout really because he knows I'm right. He's so cute when he pouts, even in circumstances like this. "Look, the car is still running and we have heat. We'll just wait here until the storm dies down a little and give people a call, a tow truck first though."
"Fine," Naruto finally gives up, falling back into his seat and closing his eyes as he allows himself to relax, "we'll wait. We'll wait here, in a ditch, in the snow, for hell knows how long."
Lucky for me, none of those words were said to me with hostility in his voice.
"I know what we can do, and it will make you happy enough" The idea suddenly came to my mind, sure it's not a very clever idea and anyone could think of it... if they weren't already doing it since it's something that one usually just does subconsciously during this season. But when you're me and you hate the season to be merry... you tend to tune everything out and avoid listening. So, I turn the radio on and the music of Christmas fills my car and creates a bright smile on my boyfriend's face.
'I'll be home for Christmas...' Echoes through my ear drums and I attempt to suppress the sneer growing within me, begging to make itself present on my face.
"Oh it's only a little music Sasuke, it's not gonna kill you," Naruto teases, rolling his bright blue eyes that cheered up a great deal. I don't know how or why, but this music seems to make everyone happy but me.
"You said the same thing about Christmas shoppers," I shoot back at him, jokingly of course, I'm not about to start yet another fight. "Just as long as they don't play the most annoying Christmas music of all."
Naruto narrows his eyes in challenge and I know what he's planning.
"Don't. You. Dare." I warn him, glaring my eyes at him as he reaches for a CD on the case attached to the passenger's shade.
I can't really stop him from putting that dreadful CD into the CD player however, he might get mad at me again and he just has to love the one thing I hate the most... and I'm not just talking about Christmas I'm talking about-
'Alright you Chipmunks, ready to sing your song?"
-Alvin and the Chipmunks Christmas carols. It might even be worse than the last minute shoppers. The squeaky voices, the cheesy music, the screaming of that stupid name... Yup, definitely worse than shoppers.
'Me, I want a hula hoop' Ugh... the sound makes me shudder in disgust. Quite the opposite of the reaction my boyfriend is having, as he bounces back and forth with a happy grin, mouthing the words. I'm just lucky he's not attempting to mimic the eardrum-peircing heights of a chipmunk squeak. That would probably be enough to make me get out of this trapped car and walk back home in this snowy, sightless blizzard.
"Alright, that's enough torture for now," Naruto smirks at me as he presses the eject button on the CD player and takes the horrendous disk back into it's holder... that I would love to burn because Naruto stocked it full of Christmas CDs.
He turns the radio back on and my eyebrow raises to the strange tune that reminds me of a Faith Hill song I despise. Crappy country music, it isn't even music. It all sounds exactly the same and it's turning into pop music with each passing day... and I hate pop even more than country.
'I don't want another fruitcake,
I don't need another ugly tie... NO!
Heard they had a sale on go karts
Down at Wal Mart
Ho ho a good buy
Got no money in my pocket.
Can't believe it's Christmastime.'
"What is this?" I ask Naruto as I stare at the players like it's turned into some weird mutation of Christmas lights and fruitcake... look at that, something else I hate.
"Christ-mas, by Cledus T. Judd. It's a parody of Faith Hill's song. Actually... it kind of reminds me of you," Naruto laughs as the chorus plays...
'It's the crowds that bug me
Stuck in traffic like this.
It's kids causing a commotion.
It's shop at your own risk.'
I can't help but laugh outloud as I realize it actually does sound like something I would say. Actually it's pretty much exactly how I think of this season... and I've said a few of those lines, perhaps even word for word at one point. "I can't believe I've never heard this before."
"It's pretty old, I figured this would be the only song you'd like of this type."
"It's funny but it's Christmas music, and I just don't like Christmas music."
This causes Naruto to sigh again, as though he's lost a battle of trying to get me to like something, just anything about Christmas. But that's just not going to work. I hate this lonely time of the year and I'm thankful every single time it's over. You'd think after three years of being with me and almost one year of living with me, Naruto would have dropped the topic by now and learnt to deal with me.
"Sasuke... no matter how much you fight it. I'm going to make you like, or at least tolerate Christmas with a smile. And not one of your fake ones either because I can easily see through it."
How did I, the scrooge of scrooge, end up with the Christmas junkie of all time... the reincarnation of Chris Cringle himself. He loves giving gifts, shopping, decorating, singing Christmas songs, listening to the music, everything. I wouldn't be surprised if he still believes in Santa Claus.
"Naruto... can't you just accept that I don't like this holiday?"
"Nope," He smirks at me, grinning with his eyes.
Normally one would get upset if someone were so determined as my Naruto, but I can't be angry with him with he looks so cute with his grin. This is probably why I was drawn to him... he's too darn cute and he can actually tolerate my sourness and constant angsting.
"If you're going to be with me, you're going to have to learn to accept this holiday because it's a big part of my life. I love this holiday and I'm not about to spend every year from now fighting with you to celebrate and to stop brooding. If you want to stay with me, you have to stay with Christmas too, because I'm not about to lose my favorite holiday because you think you have to be alone during this season."
Alone? Why did his last sentence have to strike me so hard? He shouldn't open up my past like this, considering where we are. I hate talking about it and he knows it.
"Naruto don't bring that-"
"No, Sasuke. You can't keep blowing me off like this. I know you were alone in the past, for every Christmas because your family died when you were seven. I didn't easily forget your past that you confided in me, which is probably why I've tolerated your hatred for Christmas all these years. But enough is enough! You're 22 and fresh out of university. It's been fifteen years since they passed! You need to get over it! I figured after three years you would have realized that you're not alone anymore! I'm here and I'm not going anywhere! You need to accept that and start looking at Christmas differently because it doesn't have to be lonely anymore! I will always be here with you to share this."
...And I'm speechless and apparently thoughtless.
"Naruto... I... I didn't know you felt that way..."
"Well how did you think I felt? Putting up with this for years and never seeing any improvement in your attitude." His voice still hasn't lowered from it's height of anger and resentment that was so clearly defined in his last speech.
"I'm such a selfish jerk... I never once thought about how my being a dejected grinch affected you. You're always so happy and cheerful, and you dance around as you put the garland on the tree just right and you're always so excited about Christmas that I never thought I could even faze your spirit."
"Well... you do..." Naruto didn't seem to want to admit that after my honest confession, but he had to tell me the truth. That's just the way he is, and in a time like this, honesty is the best thing for us.
"I'm sorry," My eyes soften as I turn to him, no longer hearing the gentle tunes of the season emanating from the stereo. "I'm truly sorry. I really wish I had noticed this earlier... I... I'm just... I've been locked up in my depressed state for so long that I never thought about anyone else. Especially you... I'm sorry to make you go through this."
Naruto's eyes are also gentle, as he returns my gaze, sighing in submission. "I guess... I can forgive you. But you know you have to work for it. You're going to have to learn to enjoy the holidays with me, grin and bare it."
This makes me laugh, but a nice laugh that isn't mocking in the least. "I would like nothing better than to earn your forgiveness... but I warn you it might take me a while. I've been like this for fifteen years as you've already said. It's hard to change something like that..."
"I know," Naruto smiles gently at me, that beautiful, charming smile that never fails to win me over, "but I'm going to help you. I'll make you love the holidays even if I have to tie you up with Christmas lights and garland and play 'It's A Wonderful Life' on repeat for days."
I shudder at the thought. That movie has to be the most dreadful Christmas movie ever made, stupid and overplayed... just like A Christmas Story... fucking bee-bee guns...
"Well... I have to say I like the Christmas lights idea," my eyebrow raises suggestively at this as my mind travels back to my idea of doing the same to Naruto... only without the movies, the clothes and in a more... sexual manner.
Naruto chuckles, rolling his eyes with a wide smile before he scolds me, "Pervert."
"Hey, if I have to tolerate Christmas... I should get something in return. And who knows, maybe Christmas lights and garland will help me like Christmas even more..." I really am too much of a lech for my own good. And the funny part is... I really would tear the lights and garland off the tree just to tie up my little boyfriend.
Naruto shifts his eyes with an adorable simper. "Maybe when we get home."
Oh that's interesting, and rather delightful... I think I'm starting to like this season already.
I simply can't wait till Christmas.
Thank you so much for taking the time to read this. Hope you enjoyed it.
First though, I'd like to get some things straight so people aren't offended and yelling at me... Everything... most things... in this fic is "Sasuke's" opinion. I do not believe all country music sounds the same, I actually love country music very much and it's my favorite kind of music (I'm constantly yelling at the people who think like Sasuke). I do however absolutely hate 'It's a Wonderful Life' and "A Christmas Story', but that's my opinion and I have the right to hate whatever movies I may... so no yelling at me. Then everything about Christmas is mostly Sasuke's opinion but obviously you're going to have the opinions of the writer mixed in there since my opinions on last minute shoppers fits with this fanfic.
Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays ^.^