|My Sister Rosalie, Book I: Captor
Author: geophf PM
Chapter 73: I am hers. She can do with me whatever she wants. And she is my Rose. Warning: graphic and gratuitous depiction of physical punishment. NSFW.Rated: Fiction M - English - Drama/Family - Bella & Rosalie - Chapters: 73 - Words: 303,183 - Reviews: 633 - Favs: 126 - Follows: 119 - Updated: 04-25-13 - Published: 12-26-08 - id: 4746078
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Apologia, or raison d'être:
It is well-established that for most of the series the relationship was very strained between Rosalie and Bella. There are several excellent pieces of fiction that explore this relationship.
Two stand-outs: Cicatrix by Rhiann and Persephone's Fury by Angel Ren. This work is based on neither.
Also, since this story's original serialization, other Rosalie stories have come along, exploring her character, and her relationship with Bella, notably Rose Read by Jocelyn Torrent.
Their relationship has always been distant, no matter how heated Rosalie's feelings, in particular, were. A question that has come to me is this one: instead of skirting everything about each other — two ships passing in the night — what if they were given the option to confront these issues head-on? Could they work past their hate and ignorance and emerge not only as sisters, simply because you marry into your spouse's family, but as sisters because they now know more about the other than they know their own selves? That is, sisters who have laughed, played, fought and cried together and still love each other even though they drive each other crazy? What will it take for their relationship to reach that point? At what price does this relationship come?
Book I Synopsis:
Rosalie Lillian Hale had always been the center of attention and the object of every man's affection. Obviously. Now as a vampire, she was sure to sway the enigmatic Edward, wasn't she? How will she handle his disdain? And, when he courts a mere human girl, plain to boot, what will she do when her new family is out hunting with this sheriff's daughter who suspects too much about her own past and comes calling for her Edward?
This series begins circa February, 1934. The era's significance is that this is Cullens, pre-Emmett.
First, in the newly incorporated town of Ekalaka, Montana, then to the geographic center of the United States (today) near Belle Fourche, South Dakota, and then to parts elsewhere.
Yes, I am aware of the irony of the second location that is a composition of the meaning of Bella's name ("Belle" or "Beautiful") and her residence ("Fourche" or "Fork(s)"). I didn't choose it; it chose me.
The Cullens have decided to relocate to a less populated area of the United States after hastily departing Rochester, New York from a set of revenge killings Rosalie had exacted from the men who violated her and left her for dead. Rosalie has begun to emerge from her newborn phase, but still must be secluded from human contact until the redness from her own human blood in her eyes fades.
They have decided, for discretion's sake, to assume new names, but Rosalie holds steadfastly to her own. After an extended debate, she allows the address by her middle name, Lillian, so Carlisle and Esme take 'Hale' as their last name, and Rosalie poses as Carlisle's younger sister. Edward poses as Esme's younger brother, taking Esme's maiden name of 'Platt' as his own.
This series is AU ('alternate universe') in that both the time and location are different than that of the novels, thrusting the characters to confront each other under very different circumstances, but otherwise the other elements are canonical: Bella's mind is opaque to Edward's gift, and her blood sings to him, and is, in general, more appealing to other vampires than most humans' blood. Also, Rosalie is extremely proud of everything about herself. Thankfully.
This series is told from the perspective of the character who starts with the identity of Bella Swan, then is known only as girl and then earns an entirely new name.
Table of chapter synopses:
Chapter 1 — "A/N: Apologia": Author's note. The reason behind the story "My Sister Rosalie" and a recitation of each chapter's synopsis.
Chapter 2 — "From Rochester": February 1934, The newly incorporated town of Ekalaka, Montana was about to receive four new residents: the 'Hales' from Rochester, New York. They were beautiful, polite, but distant, and Bella Swan, the sheriff's daughter, couldn't help but notice Mrs. Hale's brother, a young Mr. Edward Platt.
Chapter 3 — "Ekalaka Tour": Sheriff Swan introduces Dr. Hale and Edward Platt around town. In a surprising reversal, Edward is interested and engaging. Afterwards, Bella, encouraged by his attention, slyly suggests to her father a house-warming visit to check on the Hales.
Chapter 4 — "House Warming Gift": Sheriff Swan and Bella give a house-warming gift to the Hales, surprising them. Being neighborly, Bella asks to visit the bed-ridden 'Lillian' Hale.
Chapter 5 — "A Ghost": Bella's visit with 'Lillian' Hale is brief but powerful, as she finds herself wanting in comparing herself to the preternaturally beautiful and unaccountably hostile newcomer.
Chapter 6 — "New York Headlines": It's amazing what one can dig up in archived newspapers! Unfortunately for Bella Swan, the news doesn't answer questions about their new residents, it uncovers even more of them. Just when her life is interesting enough, Edward visits the courthouse to ask Sheriff Swan if he may call on Bella some evening. Bella seems willing enough to allow this.
Chapter 7 — "Self Invitation": In the interim days awaiting Edward's visit, Bella contemplates her own identity, asking questions about her own self now. Edward calls on the Swans, then Bella invites herself to the 'Hale' residence the following day, pushing past all objections, to secure another visit with 'Lillian'.
Chapter 8 — "A Visit and Investigation": Nervousness. Bella deals with it in her horse and in herself as she visits the Hale invalid. Although initially distant at the thought of her Edward going to the Swan's for dinner, 'Lillian' becomes very excited at the thought of having Bella for dinner at the Hale's, instead. After the visit, Bella does some digging at the library, finding more surprises about the newcomers.
Chapter 9 — "Gift of Flowers": February 1934, Bella recuperates from her attack of nerves and receives a surprising gift and a not-so-surprising well-wisher.
Chapter 10 — "Rosalie Revealed": February, 1934, Hale residence, a faked death? a faked name? Bella didn't know what Lillian/Rosalie was hiding, but she swore to get to the bottom of it. She did. Rosalie couldn't have been happier. Some stones are better left unturned.
Chapter 11 — "On the Run": February, 1934, Rosalie takes Bella for a rather compulsory stroll and gives a cryptic answer to every one of her questions. The gist of the conversation seems that Bella now needs to die. Bella disagrees.
Chapter 12 — "A Swim": February, 1934, unknown forest hours from Ekalaka. Rosalie finally hears reason and lets Bella go. Or something like that. Too bad Bella smells so tasty, and not just to vampires! Oh, and swimming in February? Not such a great idea.
Chapter 13 — "Haute Couture": Rescuing a fragile human through a wolf can leave clothes rather icky, especially if you're a vampire. What to do? But there's a whole new problem making the fashion handicap suddenly trivial. Time to hunt. Fourth time this week, dammit!
Chapter 14 — "No Talking to Vampires!": Food everywhere, but Bella can't eat it. Her clothes, all of them, were bloodied in the recent wolf encounter and are now gone. And let's not talk about her period, please? How could it get worse? Hint: don't provoke an irritated vampire.
Chapter 15 — "Tree Hugger": Me? Hug trees? I'd rather be waltzing at a cotillion than be caught dead — ha-ha — by a forest cabin. What next? Wear flannel and grow my hair long? Oops, doing that, too. Sigh! Trot out the painted baby seals ... mmm, seal: yummy!
Chapter 16 — "Ignorant Assumptions": I didn't know I could court death so many times in one day. Well, this would be the second day for that dance. I didn't know an indestructible vampire would hurt so much. And I didn't know I would be the cause of it. Again, and again.
Chapter 17 — "Dreams": Dammit! Why did I say anything? I'm a Hale. It's human. It knows! It must die. This is the LAW! She'd forgive me with her big doe eyes as I killed her, too. I've killed plenty of doe before. Why does it hurt thinking about killing this one?
Chapter 18 — "Next Rest Stop: 1 Mile": You know, you'd really think I'd learn something from the last time I left Rosalie to forge my own way through the snow, right? But when there's no vampire in sight, and a girl's gotta go ... Walking in snow with socks was a problem, though.
Chapter 19 — "Walking in Sunshine": Stupid human! Telling me the best way to kill her. As if I needed the advice. And then rhapsodizing about her stupid sweet BLOOD! Hunting. Again. I HATE HER! Wait. What's this? She's outside walking through the snow IN SOCKS? Stupid human.
Chapter 20 — "A Question": She keeps saving my life, but whenever she's around, Death keeps calling for me. Once? Twice? Maybe a coincidence. But four times in one week? How do I ask the question? I wonder how she'll take it. Like everything else? One way to find out.
Chapter 21 — "Scary Monsters": Gratitude. I didn't expect it. I've saved her life 4 times; I've hunted 6 times this week. For her. But this: "play with my food"? This needs to be corrected. Now. Ah? Oh! her scent. Her BLOOD! Just one little sip won't hurt her, will it?
Chapter 22 — "Compulsion": Bella. Come back to me. I will wrap you in a white blanket and hold you. Forever. You are of this world, Bella. Rosalie is not. Leave her. She does not love you. I do. Stay. And I will love you forever. Forever and ever.
Chapter 23 — "Rosalie Needs a Guy Like Me": You know, Rosalie's all, like, ya know, Rosalie, but she's really nice once you get to know her. What she needs is someone to laugh with her instead of fight with her. A guy like me. That is, if I were a guy. Man! Her voice sure tastes good!
Chapter 24 — "Rain by a Rose Garden": Sheriff Swan and Bella stop by the Hale residence on their tour of Carter county and ... wait ... what? Oh, God, please! Please just let the morning come! I don't want to die again; not for the third time today!
Chapter 25 — "Breakfast Time for the Human": A complete enigma. One moment, she's clinging desperately to my shirt, begging me to kill her first before I leave her, and the next she's storming off into the forest — not in socks this time, but in bare feet — to scream bloody murder at the trees. I have to keep my distance for her own safety and stability; getting too close to her just hurts her too much.
Chapter 26 — "What is Lunch? Stake! ... geddit?" She loves me; she loves me not. Oh! She loves me not. Oh, well. Who cares? But then: red steak, red wine, red ... blood? Good thing she already had lunch. My day couldn't get any better! ... I hated always being right.
Chapter 27 — "Essay Quiz Grade: F": She said she didn't drink human blood, but she didn't say anything about my soul. I didn't know I had one, until she started consuming it. I guess my shouting at her counted as "our conversation". I wonder if my body would keep breathing after she ate my soul?
Chapter 28 — "Smart Girl": Austen? Read it. Complete romantic drivel. But then the girl describes herself exactly, calling herself Lizzy, and me exactly as her older sister and faints dead away for no reason at all. Wait. 'Calls herself Lizzy'? Oh, my goodness! FINALLY!
Chapter 29 — "The Wager": You know, there should be a 'vampire handbook'. Do's and Don't's. Like: 1. Don't say the 'V' word, 2. Bring spare pads, and 3. Never-never-never bet on anything. Especially a sure-win bet. I wish I had read that handbook before now.
Chapter 30 — "The Promise": She fell for it. Humans, with their skin temperature, iris dilation, and heart rate can be so easy to read and to manipulate. Maybe I'm starting to understand this inscrutable being? But for sure, she will start to comprehend herself. Starting tonight.
Chapter 31 — "Mirror, Mirror on the Wall": She said she wasn't going to torture me. I thought I could last through anything for seven seconds. But not this. Not this.
Chapter 32 — "Look Who's Talking": Mission accomplished. How do you feel, vampire, now that she hates you? Feels pretty good, crushing a sweet, innocent girl's soul like that? She'll probably lead the mob to burn you at the stake, torch in hand. I hope she does. I deserve it!
Chapter 33 — "My New TODO List": "Oh, vampire me; lonely vampire me; leave me alone, L-..." Why does she get to call herself vampire? Wait a minute ... "lonely"? And did she just call me "L-something"? "L-something" what?
Chapter 34 — "First Bath": This is much worse than I thought it would be. Much worse. How do I keep cold and distant? I must. But how do I do that when she doesn't even have the confidence to look in a mirror? She cannot believe what she said about herself ... can she?
Chapter 35 — "With the Depression On": I seem to remember some girl wishing Rosalie could speak again so we could have a conversation. If you see that girl, could you send her my way? I have a few words for her.
Chapter 36 — "This Will Hurt — I: Ice Knives": A three way tie. Either the malnutrition, or the hypothermia, … or I would kill her. I could only handle one problem at a time, and the most pressing one was the most dangerous one: me. As always. But if I didn't do something about her scent right now …
Chapter 37 — "This Will Hurt — II: King Midas": Wow! She stayed! She said she couldn't, but she did! Even after my embarrassing dream that she heard. And she's going to tell me a story! I hope it has a happy ending …
Chapter 38 — "This Will Hurt — III: Killing Rosalie": Dead. She called me dead ... spitefully. She's right. She's always right, even when she's so very wrong. Well, I had wanted this. I had wanted her to see the monster I am. And now, she does. I had wanted this.
Chapter 39 — "Just Say It": Flowers. Blueberries. Well, not blueberries, but both for me. Well, not for me. Dammit! I'm going to tell her. I have to tell her. Right now. I don't care what she thinks: I have to tell her I love her.
Chapter 40 — "Rule Number One": Why is it that every trip to the bathroom has to be this, like, life-or-death, world-altering ... thingie? And I have to behave like a lady while this is all happening? So much for Rosalie's suggestion of a relaxing walk!
Chapter 41 — "Egg Came First": I feel it: that fissure in the marble. The crack is spreading. I'm doomed. She's doomed. I don't know how much longer I can fight. And she looks so happy, wanting to care for me. Poor girl.
Chapter 42 — "Vampire Cook Book": What? Why are you screaming: "Don't do it, Bella!" Rosalie didn't say I couldn't read her book. Besides, who are you, anyway, to tell me what to do? I've got a vampire doing that to me already, so I don't need your help here, thank you very much.
Chapter 43 — "Tickle, Tickle!": I was only tickling her to hear that sad girl laugh for once. That's all. But then her look implied so much more. Then she invites me into herbed? With that look? No, she is an innocent. She cannot know. But if I join her in that bed ...
Chapter 44 — "Sleep With Me": Rosalie just has to stop opening up a little tiny bit and then shutting right down like this. She just has to stop running away. She has to. She just has to. She's only hurting herself when she does this. Well, more than just herself, but ...
Chapter 45 — "Quid Pro Quo": I don't know what runs through her head, so I don't know what she'll ask, but I know it'll be insightful, even if it's so very far off. Then how will I answer? Will she see the truths beneath my lies? Like she always does? Can she see into my soul as she sees into the sanskrit? Why can she so easily penetrate my façade with those big doe eyes of hers when I can't even begin to fathom the well of her sadness?
Chapter 46 — "Heaven and Hell": Because Rosalie wants me to go where?
Chapter 47 — "What Does the 'H' Stand For?": So God's Name is like this big deal. So what. I still don't see why that gives Rosalie the right to whack me for saying the 'J' word. AND I bet she has no idea what the 'H' stands for. I'd ask her, to show her up, but then she's probably just whack me again.
Chapter 48 — "A Bottle of Scotch": Wow! That voice in the forest did lie to me; my dreams can be wrong about somethings. I wonder what else I'm wrong about. Well, that is ... besides everything ...
Warning: This chapter contains forceful use of profanity and references and implications to violence.
Chapter 49 — "Cinderella": I swear to God! The next fairy tale Rosalie tells me ...
Chapter 50 — "Lillian, Arise!": She finally said it. She said she loves me. I thought she didn't, but she's saying she does. She's holding my hand in her soft, warm hand. Wait. Why are we floating above the snow? Why doesn't her hand feel cold?
Chapter 51 — "Take me": What was I going to do? If she fell off my lap, with her luck, she would probably give herself serious head trauma. I wasn't in the bed with her, so this was okay ... wasn't it?
Chapter 52 — "A Hair": I really, really, really didn't know that combing her hair could ... well, I just wish I could do something right for once, is all.
Chapter 53 — "School in Session": She held me ... while I cried. She held me.
Chapter 54 — "Learning Signs": She remembers last night. All of it. And, with what happened this morning ... couldn't I have stopped myself? I don't know anymore. This is not going according to plan. Not at all.
Chapter 55 — "Beautiful": "This is how I'll do it," she told me so tenderly, holding my face in her hands.
Chapter 56 — "Nagging/Regrets": I see it, in her eyes. She works things over and over in her head. Every time she asks a question, it hits the mark. She finds this work exhausting, but what about me? I have to do all her work, and then I have to answer her. And I have to not care. And not long to look at her as she thinks. She's merely human, after all. Why should I care? I see it ... in her eyes
Chapter 57 — "Spontaneity and Confidence": Least-ways she could've acknowledged that I used the word 'spontaneity' so ... well: spontaneously, but no, she's all like ... well, Rosalie ... then, she's, you know? ... silly, and then I'm, like, silly, and I thought we were having fun. Honestly, I thought we were having fun. God, I'm so stupid. Like: there's a news flash.
Chapter 58 —"Baseball: First Base": I do not remember when I went to the field with Pa seeing baseball played this way. Unfortunately, I don't think Rosalie cares. Her game, her rules. Oh: her game is me. I just figured that out, ... much too late.
Chapter 59 — "Baseball: Second Base": I could say 'I don't even know why I'm doing this,' but I know myself too well. If I destroy her, then she will hate me for the monster I am. I always have to be right. I always push it. I always go too far. And she always has forgiven me ... until now, that is.
Chapter 60 — "Baseball: a Pickle": "I withdraw the question!" I declared so bravely to her. That was supposed to work. That always works in the talkies. How come is doesn't work here?
Chapter 61 — "Why?": Well, I said it. Kinda. God, I'm such a wimp.
Chapter 62 — "Equals": "Uh, so when you say we're 'equals,' Rosalie, um, what exactly do you mean?" I asked as I looked in the eyes of my 'equal.' Yeah, so we're equals, now. Isn't that nice? I'll wake up from this dream, soon, I'm sure.
Chapter 63 — "Safe Side": Here I am, nice and safe, on the "safe side," and I get to watch how Rosalie's life is destroyed, second by second, and see how sweet, little, innocent me was the one to do this to her.
Chapter 64 — "The Choice": She missed it? After I had Edward-fag-boi-Cullen in me? Disgusting! So that means I have to do this ... again? Well, she won't miss it this time, thank God! There's no way I'll do it a third time. No. Wait... She's backsliding now? Wonderful.
Chapter 65 — "A Little Too Hot": When Rosalie holds me against her body like that... Okay, so like she's cold, right? And you know when you have something really cold against your tummy for a while ... Wait, I didn't mean she's cold! I mean: she is hot. I mean... um, my cheeks are burning, aren't they? Can you not look at me, please?
Chapter 66 — "Schadenfreude": So, now would be the perfect time to tell her, wouldn't it? Seeing as I've so utterly ruined everything else I've touched. Why not? Nothing left. Nothing in me. Just this one last thing so she can laugh in my face at my misery, and I can tunnel into some rock and just stay there, contemplating my perfect navel forever. Joy.
Chapter 67 — "Sisters: I — Picking Flowers and Fights": What do sisters do? I had no idea. I never had a sister. Nor did Rosalie, so I guess she didn't know either. But I guess, watching us, it became pretty clear: they go skipping across the snow, right? Yeah, right. They fight a lot, too.
Chapter 68 — "Yes": The way Rosalie said 'yes' like that. I wanted that. I so wanted that my body ached. I wanted to look into her eyes and feel connected, just like this, and feel her very being say 'yes' like that to me.
Chapter 69 — "Sisters: II — Not a Little Girl": Okay, we're here, two girls in chapter 69 of my journal. What do two girls alone in the woods do in chapter 69? Huh? Why are you looking at me like that? Girls talk! What were you thinking, you pervs! And git your grubby hands off my very private journal!
Chapter 70 — "Sisters: III — Little One": Fuck. FuckfuckfuckFUCKfuck! FUCK! I almost said it. I almost God-damn said it to her. God damn fainting right into my arms, exposing her neck like that, and then GIVING ME HER GOD-DAMN PLEADING EYES! Fuck. Please, God: take her. Before I do.
Chapter 71 — "Fucked": 'Lie, lie! Oh, God! Please, for the love of heaven, please LIE!' Inside my head, my voice was telling me exactly what Rosalie was begging me to do, for my own sake. But could I do that? Could I listen to sense and to what Rosalie was saying? No, of course not. Not me. Oh, God, I'm so fucked.
Chapter 72 — "Breathing": What's the one thing that tells you you're alive? Breathing, right? So, the trick is to keep breathing. If I kept breathing, I could make it through this. But then I saw her, sitting there, waiting. And I knew I was dead, because breathing ...? What's that?
Chapter 73 — "totus tuus": I am hers. She can do with me whatever she wants. And she is my Rose. Warning: graphic and gratuitous depiction of physical punishment. NSFW.