Authoress’ Notes:

Yeah… for those of you who aren’t Get Backers fans, here’s my Christmas present to all of you! Well, it’s also for GB fans, but you get the idea. It’s a little late, but my GB Christmas fic was early, so I figure it evens out, right?

So! This fic. For those of you who’ve read “Pondering”, this is kind of a different continuity. “This is Why”, which I’ll be posting at the same time as this one, is a follow-up to “Pondering”, whereas this is just kind of another way things could happen between Seifer and Hayner. It’s also a parody of shoujo kisses, ‘cause they annoy me. xD

Please enjoy!

Disclaimer: I dun own anything!

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Kisses

Hayner was feeling rather put out, horribly misled and very much in pain. Things weren’t going the way they were supposed to.

Hayner may not have been the worldliest of lads, but he had his sources of information. He’d learned from movies- the kind that Olette liked to watch, the ones where the girl was perfectly suited for her ex-husband, but neither knew it, so there had to be a long and drawn-out conflict between her and the soon-to-be new wife during the course of which she and the ex both discovered they were still madly in love with each other- exactly how a kiss was supposed to go down. A first kiss, a last kiss- there were certain features, or so he’d been led to believe, that were common to all kisses.

First of all, life wasn’t supposed to continue. If you kissed right before dying in an explosion and decided to make out, then oh well. The explosion could just put up with it and wait.

Second, it was supposed to be the most magical experience on earth. You were supposed to hear either an entire symphony or the latest pop song, and you were supposed to feel a tingle right down to your toes. Basically, you were supposed to get high off of a kiss.

Third, and most importantly of all, there was only one outcome to a kiss. All ills were to be healed, all grudges forgiven, and you were supposed to gaze lovingly into each other’s eyes as your rival miraculously fell for a random, somewhat comedic, secondary character.

Hayner had been dragged to enough of those sorts of movies by his best friend/virtual sister to understand that that was how these things worked.

Thus, it was understandable that Hayner felt a bit miffed with Hollywood upon experiencing his first kiss. To say that it wasn’t quite what he’d been led to expect would be the biggest understatement in the history of the universe.

For one thing, he thought, yet again rubbing the bump on his head ruefully, life CERTAINLY did go on. Specifically, gravity went on. So, apparently, did tempers, because Seifer’s famed temper sure as hell hadn’t disappeared. (Hayner gingerly felt his split lip as he thought this.)

Magical? Ha! The soundtrack to Hayner’s first kiss, far from being pop songs and angelic choruses, had been the laughter of Roxas’ incredibly annoying boyfriend, Axel, mixed with Seifer’s and his own muffled shouts of surprise. The shouts had, unfortunately, been muffled because Axel had picked such a wonderful place to shove Hayner. Right… into… Seifer. That had been a stupid move, because of course Roxas had immediately entered psycho!Roxas mode, but the pyro had, while being pursued by his short but ferocious boyfriend, cackled that it was definitely worth it.

In the meantime, Seifer had looked up at Hayner with what could only be described as shock darkening those amazing eyes- and it was then that Hayner’s third and final hope about his first kiss had been rudely shattered. There was DEFINITELY an outcome other than true love possible. He’d realized this right about when Seifer’s fist had connected with his mouth, catapulting the smaller blonde away. With a groan, Hayner had sat up after a few seconds, rubbing his already-sore head.

Watching Seifer stalk away from the sandlot, seeing Rai and Fuu follow him closely, hearing Axel’s laughs and Roxas’ shouts continue, Hayner had realized something. It was a simple realization, yet he comforted himself by thinking that maybe it was deep and profound, and therefore worth this pain and humiliation.

Axel, like Hollywood, was a bit of a bitch.

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The examples I got for annoying ex-husband/fiancée scenarios come from “Twister”, which we watched in Earth Science right around when I started working on this fic. That movie has one or two kickass moments, but my God the romance is annoying!

Anyways, I hope you liked it, Merry Christmas and Happy New Year! Please review!