A/N: I'll keep it short:

- Courtney (AnUnbrokenHorse aka RushtonElf) should be thanked and honored for editing the crap out of it, after she pulled an all-nighter. I treasure your beta skills and the keyboard you type on *g* Love ya hun!

- I throw a party for Shabbyapple, for taking the time to validate the chapter at Twilighted, while she has a real life that definitely needs her full time attention but still finds the time and courage to be a superb beta.

- At that party, I give you all some of my famous home made sangria, some doritos and my home made and even more famous guacamole because you are simply amazing. Because you girls prefer angst more than E and B making out on the piano (if I can conclude that after checking the number of reviews), I'll throw in some angst. Enjoy the party ladies!

- Oh and I don't own anything, except a garden with fake grass :)

Chapter 22: People Always Leave...

~*~
Grief is like the ocean
it's deep and dark and bigger than all of us
and pain is like a thief in the night
quiet, persistent, unfair
diminished by time and faith and love

One Tree Hill, episode 6.03
~*~

"Hey Leah, can you see me now?" Bella asked speaking into the microphone and waving towards the little lens of the web cam that she had installed only a few seconds ago.

Bella and Leah had been talking over the internet every day since she had returned to Edward. First she had purchased a microphone - Leah had told her where to buy one and had helped her through the installment patiently- but Bella wasn't satisfied that her friend couldn't see her while she herself could see Leah. So she had bought a web cam earlier that morning but this time she had installed it all by herself; it hadn't taken her that long, and now she wanted to surprise her friend.

"Oh Bella, what a surprise!" Leah exclaimed enthusiastically while she drew her hand up to cover her mouth, a gesture Leah always carried out when she was surprised. Bella realized that she had gotten to know Leah very well in such a short time, a realization that made her feel warm inside.

Relief washed over Bella -she had installed it correctly- and she was proud that the surprise had worked.

"And I did it all by myself Leah!" Bella blew a kiss towards the web cam and was rewarded by Leah doing the same.

"Your hair Bella, it's different, right? It glows! It's beautiful, perfect."

"You think so?" Bella questioned, touching her long curls.

"Gorgeous Bella, definitely. Seeing you makes me miss you even more, you know that?"

Bella knew her friend missed her a lot from the obvious emotion in her voice, and the feeling was mutual. But hearing Leah say those words out loud touched her heart and Bella swallowed hard, no one - except for Edward - had ever said those words to her, not even her father.

Dad, Bella sighed and she made a mental note that she should call him.

It had been more than a week since she had been back in Forks and yet she hadn't contacted her father, although he probably knew that she was back. Forks is a small town after all.

Maybe she was waiting until he contacted her, to let her know that he thought about her. But he would never do that--as the Police Chief of Forks he simply didn't have time to miss her; to call her. He had never time for anything that involved his daughter, not that anything worth calling delinquently or criminal ever happened in the area.

"I miss you too Leah, but I'm thinking about coming back for a few weeks, maybe in a month. Soon."

Since the moment she'd landed in America, Bella had been thinking about returning to Africa. But when she returned this time, she was determined to do it differently. Going there would not represent her fleeing from her problems. When she would return this time, she wanted Edward to join her so that they could be the change in the world together. She wanted him to be proud of her when he saw the difference she had made in the Congo.

The thing was, Edward was already proud, but Bella wanted to see it reflected in his eyes when he joined her. Then, she would really believe him.

"Oh wait girl, you're not coming back. You've just left. What about Edward?" Leah asked a frown painted above the bridge of her nose. There was no doubt that she wanted to have her friend back, even if it was only for a month, but there was one thing Leah Clearwater wanted more--and that was Bella being with the one man who took her breath away and loved her more than words could ever describe.

"I want to surprise Edward, Leah. I want him to join me when I return so that he can see it with his own eyes what a difference we make there."

"Surprise him? What are you going to do Bella? Drug him, blindfold him and drag him on the plane to Kinshasa?" Leah teased, not knowing what her friend had planned.

"Well, that wasn't the plan but now that you say it, your idea sounds better than mine," Bella joked back, imagining a blindfolded, drugged Edward on the plane, not knowing where they'd landed.

Hmm, the idea of being in complete control over the hot blindfolded music teacher did have potential!

"No, seriously, it's his birthday in three weeks and I was thinking of surprising him with a one-month trip to the Congo. We can travel around the country, I can volunteer in the hospital, and Edward can entertain the kids by playing and teaching music. He is so good with kids Leah; you should see him!"

"I can't wait to meet this greatness in person Bella; you've been telling me nothing but positive things about him! But how will you arrange everything? His work? The vaccinations he needs?"

Bella informed her friend about her plan; how she would contact Jasper to see if he could take over Edward's lessons and how the vaccinations wouldn't be a problem since she could perform those as a doctor herself. She just needed to get him an international passport but she'd figure out a way to work that out too. She wanted to surprise him completely.

The friends continued chatting, reliving memories from their time in the Congo together. Leah informed her about the condition of a few of her more critical patients before Bella heard someone coming in the door.

"Leah? You wanted to see Edward, right?"

"I do, why sweetie? Is he there? Is he home?" The excitement was clear in Leah's voice and hearing that eagerness spread a warm glow throughout Bella's body. She knew how hard it had to be for Leah to see Bella with a man and still, Leah's excitement wasn't feigned. She was truly happy for her friend and wished her all the happiness in the world.

"He just got home I think. If you can wait a second, I'll ask him to say hi to you, okay?"

Leah clapped her hands and told her friend to hurry up since she had to get ready for work.

"Sweetie?" Edward called out for the second time. There wasn't a note telling him that Bella was out, but it seemed like she wasn't around since he was greeted by an overwhelming silence - except for the snoring sounds of Jona who wasn't very excited to see him home again.

He used to enjoy that silence: coming home and hearing the sound of nothing had such a soothing and calming effect on him. But since Bella had come back into his life, he craved hearing her enthusiastic voice when he entered the apartment.

"I'm here Edward," he heard her call out to him from upstairs and he released the breath he had been holding to follow the softness of her warm voice upstairs.

She isn't going anywhere Edward. She isn't leaving, he told himself while he loosened the buttons of his shirt. He wanted to take a fresh shower before they went out for dinner and he hoped that the gorgeous brunette who occupied his thoughts would join him.

"There you are," and he kissed her fully on the lips, not knowing they had an audience. It was only when he heard the sound of someone clearing her throat that he unlocked his lips, darting his eyes anxiously around the room.

A soft blush instantly formed on his cheeks when he turned to the computer screen showing the pretty woman's face on the web cam.

"Oh, hi... I didn't know we had an audience... um, sorry," he stuttered, looking confusedly back and forth from Bella to the web cam. Bella could read his embarrassment and uncertainty, and the spark of recognition in his eyes told her that he wondered if the woman was Leah. She didn't really know how she had come to read him so easily, but she could read him like a book and it felt great.

"Leah, this is Edward. Edward, this is Leah - the one I told you about." She draped her arm around his waist as they both stared into the web cam.

"Nice to finally meet you Leah," Edward smiled genuinely. He automatically wanted to extend his hand, but snickered mentally when he realized that gesture would be rather ridiculous.

"Likewise Edward, I've heard a lot about you."

"All good things I hope," he nervously joked, but he had no cause for concern. Bella was head over heels in love with him.

"Definitely," Leah confirmed. "Sorry for ending this conversation rather abruptly, but I need to get ready for work. I hope we'll have the opportunity to talk soon though. Bye Bella! Bye Edward!" Leah waved and when she saw both of them wave back, she indeed logged off to get ready for work.

But there was another reason Leah had rushed to end their conversation, she admitted to herself while wiping away some tears that had just sprung to her eyes. Seeing Bella standing next to the man she loved had made Leah think about her wedding picture, causing a sudden sadness to capture her. She wasn't a jealous woman, but she longed to turn back time and do things differently. She had learned from the mistakes she'd made in the past although she realized that she wasn't to blame for everything that had gone wrong. It had been Paul's decision to end his journey on earth but it still hurt like hell that he had made that decision without consulting with her first.

"I hope she is alright... she acted rather weird," Bella told Edward after she sighed deeply.

"I hope it wasn't because she saw us as a couple." She had just clicked on the icon to close the window when she heard Edward inhale sharply. Bella turned her head quickly to see what was wrong, but then returned her attention to the computer screen because Edward was staring at it as well.

"What is this Bella?" Edward asked slowly - doing his best not to sound angry or scared - wondering why there was a website with apartments to rent appearing on his computer. The voice in his head seemed to scream all of a sudden, she is leaving! Echoing louder and louder with every ticking heartbeat.

"I was checking out some possible places I could rent Edward," Bella replied nonchalantly, but she didn't realize that her casual response only ratcheted up the panic Edward felt.

They had talked about this before. Bella had told him she would look for a place of her own pretty soon but he had argued she didn't need to hurry. However, Bella did experience a sense of urgency to find her own place. She didn't want to abuse his goodness; she couldn't expect him to want her to live with him after they'd been together for only a week.

The truth was that they both wanted to stay: Edward loved to have her so close -he enjoyed the vibe she gave to his apartment and Jona adored her presence-, and Bella didn't want to leave either but somehow it felt like she had to move out. Like it wasn't right to live together when they were not dating for that long. Evidently the old, insecure Bella popped in from time to time, convincing her that Edward didn't want her to stay, not yet.

Therefore both Edward and Bella remained silent and avoided the topic, swallowing hard and averting their eyes. They didn't want to discuss the elephant in the room, so instead of that they danced around it, building a bridge of misunderstandings and insecurities in the process. Edward was afraid to commit since in his mind people always left; Bella was afraid to commit since no one ever cared if she stayed or not...

Not so subtly changing the topic, Bella asked, "Are you up for a run Edward? I want to stretch my legs. Jona would love to be out as well." Her hands moved over his shoulders and felt the stiff muscles in between his shoulder blades. "And I promise to give you a massage when we get back, after we take a shower together. What do you think?" Bella whispered, while her fingers unbuttoned the remaining buttons of his short sleeved shirt. The moment her hands connected with his skin, his insecurities were pushed to the back of his mind.

"Mmm, I like the sound of that my love, but do we have sex before or after the run?" he whispered hoarsely while his hands found the hem of her white cotton v-neck t-shirt. He adeptly flipped his hands under the shirt and cupped her breasts fully. She moaned his name close to his mouth and cupped his softly parted lips with hers, kissing him fiercely and pulling him with her onto the master bed.

"Both Edward, I want it all."

They made love while a soft summer breeze played with the curtains and cooled down their heated bodies.

***

A week later, Sunday afternoon

"Pumpkin, they're here!" Bella yelled from upstairs, zipping up her black dress and searching for her black ballerinas. She had heard the sound of slamming car doors while preparing herself physically and mentally for this afternoon, and glancing in the bathroom mirror, she told herself she could do it.

You are a strong woman Bella, the voice in her head whispered to her when she turned off the lights and joined Edward and his family downstairs. They would be leaving for the cemetery soon.

The Cullen family always visited their parents' grave this time of year because their parents had gotten married in the summer. Bella knew that Edward was nervous about this visit; he had been a bit distant this week and she sensed this impending cemetery trip was to blame for his aloof demeanor. It was the first time he had asked his girlfriend to join him and Bella felt anxious and uncomfortable about going. Not that she didn't want to join him - on the contrary - she wanted to be there for him, but she wasn't really sure if she could live up to his expectations if she thought back to the conversation they had a few days ago.

"Bella?" Edward asked, his voice sounding wobbly and sad. Those emotions hidden in the timbre of his voice caught her attention and she turned her head away from the television screen to look at him lovingly.

"What's wrong?" Bella wanted to know. He looked pale - as if he was coming down with something - and she realized that he had rings under his eyes. Her hand was soon on his wrist and squeezed it tight. A sudden panic crept into her heart, afraid of what was to come.

"Euh... next Sunday... Emmett, Rose and I are going to visit mom and dad's graves and I was wondering if you wanted to join me. But if you don't want to, I understand." He looked her in the eyes, tried to read her facial expression, and he thought he saw relief along with a less evident reaction. Was it anxiety? Concern? He wasn't really sure.

Bella was relieved; part of her had been afraid that he would bring up the 'when will you move out?' topic and she made a mental note to look for an apartment tomorrow. Really look. Actively.

"Of course I want to go with you, but you don't need to feel obliged to ask me Edward. I can stay at home if you want to share that moment with your family."

His hand traveled towards the strand of hair that had fallen in front of her eyes and guided it behind her ear. "Look at me princess." And when she felt his finger under her chin, she pulled her head upwards.

"I never asked a girlfriend to join me, because they never seemed to be the right one. But now I finally feel perfectly happy and I think your presence and support would make it easier for me to say goodbye again. You heal me Bella. You are my fix," and he kissed her tenderly while she closed her eyes to let his words sink in.

"You fix me too Edward." Thoughts of other loved ones in the cemetery entered her mind. "Can we visit Grace as well? I've never had the chance to visit her grave and I doubt that I would have the strength to do so alone."

"You are one of the strongest people I know my love, and I had hoped you would suggest that," and before he could tell her that he wanted to join her at her mother's grave as well - if she indeed wanted him to join her - she kissed his teary eyes. Her simple gesture took his breath away and erased the worried questions from his mind. She had such a soothing effect on him.

"You look tired pumpkin," she whispered in between kisses, and when he informed her she'd worn him out last night, the loft was filled with a laughter that was so infectious that Jona joined them with his enthusiastic barking.

She wanted to fix him but somehow she feared that she couldn't. She hadn't even given her mother's death a proper resting place in her heart and she wondered if that day would ever come. Can someone ever be fixed after losing a parent? Especially when that parent died too young. Too suddenly. Too abruptly. Bella wasn't sure and right now; the idea of being the strong one for him scared her enormously. She wanted to be there for him and his family but could she?

But that wasn't the only reason why she was a little bit anxious about today. She would see Rose and Emmett again; their last meeting was still fresh on her memory.

They had gone for a drink a few days after her return from the Congo and although Edward had assured her that his family wouldn't give her a hard time, things had turned out differently. Emmett had been his usual self, skipped her up in a hug the moment they saw each other again, a gesture that caught her by surprise. She wasn't used to those kinds of things because she never had a big brother or any other sibling. But being in Emmett's arms, nearly crushed to death, had made her at ease immediately.

But when Rosalie's eyes locked with hers while Rose asked her if she would join her to the bar to order their drinks, Bella knew she was in trouble. It was as if Bella didn't have a choice; Rosalie's eyes demanded her to say yes. And so she had agreed, choosing the short pain instead of slowly ripping the band aid from her skin. Rosalie hadn't wasted many words about the entire thing but when she said if you ever pull a stunt like that on Edward again Bella, just pray that God will be with you when I hunt you down. The glare that had joined those words was even more deadly, if that was even possible.

When they returned to their respective partners, it was as if nothing had happened between them although Bella never felt really at ease during the rest of that night. She knew though, that she deserved that reaction. She had deserved so much more but there was a difference with knowing that you deserve it and actually getting it in your face.

To say that she was dreading today was putting it blandly.

"Hi Bella, it's so good to see again," Rosalie told her honestly when she kissed Bella hello. "Are you feeling at home here?" she asked, but it took Bella a few moments to organize her speech again.

Was she honest or just putting on a show in front of Edward?

"I am thanks. How it this little adorable boy doing?" Bella settled for some small talk, gesturing the conversation away from her, to something safer. She touched Liam's hair and his pink cheeks, and was rewarded with a boyish smile that set her heart on fire. This boy was too cute for words, but when he took one of her curls in between his cherubic fingers and pulled it towards his mouth - hard - she rethought his cuteness.

"Liam sweetie, Auntie Bella's hair isn't for eating," and Rose took his fingers out of his mouth, trying to release the hair he was desperately pulling.

Auntie Bella ... Those words echoed through Bella's head and if she hadn't felt at home and loved before, she did now. Maybe Rose wasn't putting a show after all.

The Cullen family was too good for her, she thought, and laughed when Liam stubbornly refused to release his death grip on her hair. It was only when he noticed Rose's hair wiggling enticingly in front of his eyes that he had found another victim to attack.

~*~

The brothers and their family had been standing at their parents' grave for awhile now and Emmett sensed his brother needed some time alone.

"We are going to see Grace now Edward, you okay?" Emmett whispered close to his brother's ear, patting him on the back supportively. Bella squeezed his other arm and let her head rest against his shoulder.

"I will be," he told his brother. He sensed that he could do this with his girlfriend by his side. "We will join you soon, okay?"

"Okay bro." Emmett patted him shoulder reassuringly before he walked away to join his family at the end of the row.

Edward turned his body towards Bella's and gazed at her fragile form through watery eyes.

"Why does it hurt so much Bella? After all these years? It seems like it hurts more every day." His voice was crackly and broken.

She didn't really know what to say, so instead of responding verbally she brought her hands towards his bronze, silky but oh-so messy hair and guided his face towards the crook of her neck. When he rested there, she enveloped his slender figure with her warm embrace and stroked his back in a steady rhythm. It was long after his eyes and cheeks had dried that she sensed that she knew what to say.

"I think that's the hardest part of saying goodbye Edward, is that you have to do it every single day, over and over. That we have to face the truth that life is fleeting and that our time here is short. And the pain will fade away, slowly, sometimes... It will fade away one day, but right now it's too soon. The wound is too fresh Edward. Time will heal and I'll help you with it okay?"

Somewhere in the midst of her pure confession, Edward had lifted up his head and had looked her deeply in the eyes, but she hadn't really seen him. She was pulled back to a time where grief seemed to overwhelm her, seemed to control her. But when Edward kissed the top of her head and thanked her, she remembered their surroundings. Together they would heal, together they were stronger; together they could do this.

Wiping away a tear quickly, she placed a single white rose on his parents' graves and whispered to them that she would take care of him, for the rest of her days, if he let her.

"There is someone I would like to introduce you to Edward, if you're okay with that."

Edward knew she was referring to her mother and nodded his head, taking her by the hand and allowing her to guide him to her mother's grave. And when they arrived, he was overwhelmed by a feeling of déjà-vu. They had both lost their mothers and somehow it felt as if their common loss bonded them together like glue.

"Mom, it's me. I want you to meet someone special." She cleared her throat nervously. "Mom, this is Edward. Edward, this is my mom, Renee." For a stranger this scene might seem strange but Edward understood it completely. If he'd been alone with Bella, he would have introduced her to his parents as well. So when he said "Nice to meet you ma'am," he truly meant it.

When Bella placed another one of her white roses on her mother's stone and let herself be scooped up in a hug by Edward, she heard him whisper the most touching confession of love she had ever heard before.

"I love your daughter with all my heart and so much more ma'am, and I will protect her with everything I have." With that said, Bella realized that this was undoubtedly the man she wanted to grow old with and have children with. This was the man who needed to know how much she loved him in return. And she would show her never-ending love by giving him the best birthday he'd ever had, never to be forgotten.

Bella made a mental note that she needed to talk to Rose about her plans. Today. They had some planning to do and she definitely could use some help. Maybe Rose believed how much she loved Edward when she made her part of her plan.

"Let's go see Grace now Edward," Bella suggested and strolling past the graves, they walked towards Emmett, Rose and little Liam.

~*~

-At Edward's place-

"That is delicious Edward", Rose murmured appreciatively through a mouthful of his famous chocolate cake, and little Liam seemed to like it as well. The toddler was waving his arms up and down enthusiastically, begging for another piece of that heavenly cake.

"It is pumpkin," Bella agreed; Edward once again had blown them away with his cooking skills.

"Oh come on ladies. You are so easy," Emmett observed, "You like everything with chocolate."

Rosalie's eyes flared with indignation. "What did you say handsome? Did you just call Bella and me easy?"

Emmett's mouth dropped open, realizing the error of his ways, and stammered, "No! Um, okay, okay, you two are right. This is the best chocolate cake ever." And Emmett rolled his eyes, desperate to change the subject. "So, uh, Bella, are you back for good?"

Bella's eyes widening in shock did not go unnoticed by both Edward and Emmett, but she tried to compose herself, muttering, "I'm not planning to go anywhere soon." She felt tense and didn't know what to say so she touched Rose's leg with her own, furtively asking for her to rescue her in some way.

Luckily, Bella and Rose had shared some time alone while preparing coffee and tea to discuss Bella's idea for Edward's birthday. Rose was more than enthusiastic and had agreed to help her with the arrangements, and if felt like some kind of peace offer between them. But now Bella wondered if Emmett or Edward had maybe overheard their conversation in the kitchen.

Looking down at her plate, playing with her fork and the crumbles, she prayed that Rosalie understood that she needed to change the subject.

She felt two pairs of male eyes on her head but couldn't force herself to speak. She had never been good at lying or hiding things and she was afraid that Edward would see through her to discover the surprise she had in store for him.

Instead, Edward was confused, fearful, and panicked.

What was happening? Why was she so nervous all of a sudden? Was she leaving? Was she?

Those thoughts squeezed his throat tight and he could barely breathe. The fear of her abandoning him had been occupying his thoughts the entire week since he had seen the website with apartments for rent.

Look me in the eye Bella and tell me I'm wrong; tell me you're not leaving, the voice in his head insisted.

When Bella's eyes remained glued on her fork, he misunderstood that response completely. And when he heard Rose ask her about her search for a place of her own, he blocked everything out and stared numbly out the large, open French window.

This isn't happening was all he could think as Bella informed them about her quest for a good apartment. All the color drained from his face and the palms of his hands became damp while his heart raced with record speed. This isn't happening... please.

***

Distracted and zoned out, Edward started saying his goodbyes over the soft buzz of whispers exchanged between Rose and Bella.

"Take care bro," Emmett encouraged, thanking his little brother for the delicious chocolate cake and coffee, and then adding enigmatically, "Talk to her."

Emmett saw the confusion written all over his brother's face and pulled him into one of his typically strong bear hugs. "I know something is on your mind and you need to talk to her. Don't make the same mistakes again Edward. Don't block her out. She is perfect for you and she loves you."

Edward nodded his head, wondering how his brother could read his thoughts so easily, but was pulled back to the present when his favorite sister-in-law leaned in to kiss him goodbye, followed by his adorable godson. In the mean time, Emmett huddled with Bella, begging her not to leave his brother behind. Not again.

"I won't Emmett, I promise," she whispered, confused about his words and the strange look he gave her. "I promise," she repeated, and this time Emmett seemed to believe her.

Emmett hugged her as well and told her that she needed to talk to Edward. Tonight.

Dumbstruck, she was left behind when Edward's big brother walked over to the car.

"Thanks Edward," Rosalie murmured close to his ear and went to join her husband in the car.

"Thanks Bella," she added, and waved Liam little hand towards his godfather and auntie.

Edward and Bella waved back and when their car had become a dot in the distance, Edward closed the door and followed Bella upstairs. Emmett's words echoed through her head when she heard the closing sound of the front door. She looked around and registered Edward's staring gaze, the rings under his eyes still there. Now more obvious than before.

"We need to talk," she announced softly and when Edward nodded his head, it wasn't because he looked forward to the conversation but because he needed to swallow down the huge lump that suddenly blocked his throat.

She was leaving and he had no way to escape the inevitable...

Feeling the familiar ache of abandonment fill his heart, Edward warily turned to Bella, hearing whispering echoes in his mind: People always leave...

~*~
The hardest part of saying goodbye
is having to do it again every single day
every day we face the same truth that life is fleeting
that our time here is short
and to honored the fallen
we must live our own lives well
we must take the high road when we can
and to allow our common loss to bring us togetherOne Tree Hill, episode 6.04
~*~

Chapter’s Note:

A review for a preview, that’s a fair deal, right? Reviews are better than saying goodbye...