Summary: “Smoking kills, you know.” (One-sided KxK)

Disclaimer: Don’t own South Park. Or the Pursuit of Happyness. ‘Nuff said.

Author’s Note: This is my first South Park fic. Please be kind!

X

Drag
By: Lady Azura

X

Kenny studied Kyle carefully.

But at the same time, very subtly, so as to not alert the Jew of his staring and arouse any unwanted questions that would undoubtedly follow when caught that, to be perfectly honest, he didn’t feel like answering.

Unfortunately, such an act was rather difficult (if not near impossible) considering that he could only see through one eye to begin with, what with the other currently being hidden by some white bandages.

Regardless, he still managed to do it, and watched with a small smile as Kyle’s otherwise blank expression changed, twisting into one of sheer irritation as he attempted to blow wisps of ginger hair out of his face, which kept falling into his eyes and blocking his view from his own studies. Kenny furrowed his brow. Honestly, who really gave a flying fuck about Chemistry? Not him; that was for sure (and that wasn’t because he’d died in that class on numerous occasions and was now entitled to be biased as a result). Still. It was funny watching the faces that his Jewish friend made whenever he was annoyed about something (precisely the reason why Kenny, himself, enjoyed the fights between the redhead and Cartman so much) or other. It was hot.

An inaudible sigh left the blonde as he leaned back against the large dumpster behind him. Reaching into his pocket, he pulled out a lighter and a pack of cigarettes; after lighting one, he brought the cancer stick to his lips and inhaled deeply.

He didn’t know when, exactly, he started thinking about Kyle in that way, but if he had to guess, he would probably settle for sometime during the 8th grade -- because before that, he only ever had two things on his mind: boobs and pussy.

Grade 8, however, was the year that Kyle finally rid himself of his ushanka (Kenny was pretty sure he’d given it to Ike or something), revealing curly red tendrils that seemed frame his delicate ivory face. The abrupt transformation had come as a shock to pretty much everyone, especially since -- not even one year before -- Kyle had gone through an ugly stage in his life. The incident with the girls and their list back in 4th grade didn’t even begin to compare, and while all of the boys (and even the girls) had gone through their own awkward, chubby, ugly stages (luckily for him, he still had his orange parka at the time to hide behind), Kyle had definitely suffered the most. In grade 7, he was ridiculously tall and skinny, had acne, wore both glasses and braces, and had a giant jewfro that he tried desperately to hide with his ushanka… but by that point, the green hat was far too small for him). To top it all off, his voice had also started changing, and would crack and go up octaves at the most inconvenient of times; needless to say, Cartman had the time of his life humiliating the redhead every chance he could get.

Then he went away for the summer (to visit family in Europe or something like that), and when he came back for grade 8, he was suddenly a Greek God.

Okay, not really, but he was certainly more attractive than he’d been the year before; he’d managed to tame his hair, his voice had deepened, he’d lost his braces and he had gotten a thinner pair of glasses, which he preferred over contacts.

He was, by no means, the hottest guy in their grade, but he was the boy-next-door; he was cute and nice and smart, somewhat shy -- which made girls adore him even more -- and most people (with the exception of Cartman, who still hated the Jew and was still out to kill him) generally enjoyed his company because, unlike most of the douches that lived in their shitty town, he was interesting and enlightening and would eventually make something of himself. Both he and Wendy, South Park’s resident feminist who was aspiring to be the first woman President, and whose first law would be to have Eric Cartman humiliated in every way imaginable, castrated and executed on national television; that’s one of the reasons why she and Kyle got along so well. In addition, of course, to their academic achievements; Kyle being the smartest boy in their school and Wendy being the smartest girl.

In short, ever since grade 8, Kenny hadn’t been able to think about anyone but Kyle. At first, he’d pegged his “feelings” for the Jew as simply hormones, but it’d been three -- almost four -- years since said feelings had arose, and they were still there. Fortunately, the blonde had learned to keep them under control while around his friend. At the very least, he no longer had to run in the opposite direction (which often led to his own demise, usually by getting struck by an oncoming train or speeding car or something along those lines) when he was within five feet of the redhead so that he wouldn’t kiss him (or do much worse) and end up ruining their friendship.

Because, as far as he knew, Kyle was straight. And if, in the event that he was gay (or even bisexual), his feelings would probably be directed to his Super Best Friend; not him.

“Smoking kills, you know.”

Kyle’s voice jarred Kenny from his thoughts. Exhaling, the blonde blinked and turned to look down at his friend, who sat on the ground with his back against the brick wall of the school and his knees drawn up to his chest; his Chemistry textbook was now closed and lying next to him. Kenny smirked.

“I die all the time. Why should this be any different?” He laughed, before taking another drag of his cigarette.

Kyle frowned.

“Yeah, but not of your own accord.” He said. “Besides, what about everyone else?”

Kenny arched an eyebrow.

“What about them?”

“You could kill them with your secondhand smoke.” Kyle told him.

Kenny merely shrugged. “Who cares? They’re all a bunch of shitheads, anyway.”

“Not everyone…”

“No… I guess not.” Kenny mused. “You’re not… Stan’s not… Ike, Butters and Tweek are alright, occasionally Wendy’s pretty cool when she’s not shoving that feminism crap down my throat… but the rest of this town could drop dead and I wouldn’t give a rat’s ass.” He paused briefly to take another puff before continuing. “But you know… I’m not forcing you to be here. You could be chillin’ by the bleachers with Stan and them, or in the library or something, but instead, you’re choosing to hang out by this dumpster with me. I wonder why.” His visible blue eye twinkled with mirth as he spared the redhead another glance and then added, “But seriously, don’t worry about it.”

“Don’t worry about it?” Kyle repeated, narrowing his eyes. “You’re my friend! I’m gonna worry about it whether you tell me to or not!”

“Dude, seriously. It’s not that big a deal.”

“Like hell it’s not!” The redhead snarled, jumping to his feet and jabbing an accusing finger into Kenny’s chest. “Just because you die all the time doesn’t mean that it’s not a big deal!”

Kenny blinked, genuinely taken aback by his friend’s outburst.

“Dude… Kyle… calm the fuck down.”

“DON’T TELL ME TO CALM DOWN!” Kyle shouted, his face burning a deep shade of crimson. “YOU COULD BE SAVING UP THIS MONEY FOR COLLEGE OR SOMETHING, BUT INSTEAD YOU CHOOSE TO WASTE IT -- WASTE YOUR FUCKING LIFE AWAY -- ON THESE FUCKING CANCER STICKS!” He paused briefly to take a deep breath, and then -- calmly, but still shakily -- went on, his hands gripping Kenny’s shoulders tightly while the blonde stared at him in shock, cigarette dangling precariously from his open mouth. “I… I don’t want you to risk anything. I… I mean… I know you die and come back to life all the time, but what if you get cancer and die for good? Because you were responsible for it and not some freak accident? You know?”

Kenny didn’t know how to reply, and just stayed silent while Kyle continued to speak, his hold on the blonde’s shoulders gradually loosening.

“I know I might be putting too much thought into this -”

‘Really? Ya think?’ Kenny wanted to say, but the words just got caught in his throat and never made it out.

“- but… I don’t know how I’d be able to live with myself if you or Stan died for good.”

“What about Cartman?” Kenny asked, finally finding his voice.

Kyle scowled.

“That fat fuck can kiss my ass and rot in Hell.” His expression softened somewhat. “Besides… like I said… why waste your money on cigarettes when you could be saving up for College or something?”

“Because I’m not going to College?” Kenny reminded him.

“Why not?” Kyle cried.

“Because I’m not a brainiac like you? My family’s dirt poor? I die all the time and there’s no point?”

“You’re smart enough to get into a good College! I saw your last Math test score; dude, you got higher than me! And don’t tell me you cheated off Wendy because I know she was sick that day and everyone else in that class is an idiot.” When Kenny opened his mouth to speak, Kyle cut him off. “And don’t tell me you made a cheat sheet! You’re too much of a procrastinator to do that!” Kyle sighed. “Think about it, dude… if you actually did your homework and handed in assignments and projects on time, you would be able to get into a good school, and from there you could get out of this shit town… and if you saved up your money for your tuition instead of wasting it on cigarettes, it wouldn’t matter if you were poor; you could still get into a good College and besides -- some of the most successful people in the world started out poor and became rich later on in life!”

Kenny raised a challenging eyebrow.

“Really? Like who?”

“Like… that guy in the Pursuit of Happyness.”

“Will Smith?”

“No, the guy he was playing.”

“Oh.”

Silence dawned on the two boys, during which time Kyle finally let go of Kenny’s shoulders and took a step back, not saying a word. Instead, he just stood there and stared at the asphalt beneath their feet, completely immersed in his own thoughts for what seemed like eternity until he sighed loudly and lifted his head to meet his blonde friend’s quizzical stare. In turn, Kenny watched in amusement as the Jew scratched the back of his neck, looking more than a little embarrassed, and fought the urge to grin.

“Listen… I’m sorry about all that. I just… I dunno…” As Kyle spoke, he averted his gaze. “I mean… do what you want, man. Who am I to stop you?” The redhead laughed nervously. “I just care about you too much, I guess.”

Kenny snorted.

“Dude. Do you have any idea how gay that sounded?”

Kyle’s face burned a deep shade of crimson. “THAT’S NOT HOW IT WAS MEANT TO SOUND! I -”

Kenny ignored the sharp pang in his chest, and covered it up with laughter.

“Dude. Chill. I was only joking.”

“O-oh. Right. I… I knew that.”

The blonde rolled his eye, opening his mouth to tease the short-tempered Jew some more (what? It was fun getting Kyle all riled up and embarrassed; he certainly saw why Cartman enjoyed it so much) but before he could, the bell rang -- signaling the end of lunch.

Kyle swore loudly and quickly gathered his notes, sloppily shoving them and his Chemistry textbook into his book bag before hurriedly swinging it over his shoulder.

“See you in History, Kenny!” He called over his shoulder as he raced back into the school at a speed that Usain Bolt would probably be envious of.

Kenny waited until the redhead was out of eyesight before his blue gaze flickered downward to the cigarette between his fingers. He thought about all that had happened in the last ten or so minutes; the gist of it being that Kyle wanted him to stop smoking. The blonde’s brows knitted together in confusion; he didn’t know why Kyle was always so concerned about him. It was stupid and pointless. He really wasn’t that worth it; just a waste of space, really.

But… at the same time, it made him feel good, knowing that someone actually cared about him that much.

Sighing, Kenny took one last drag before throwing the butt onto the ground and crushing it with his foot.

‘Maybe I will try quitting.’ He mused, smiling weakly.

With that in mind, he reached into his pockets and pulled out his lighter and the pack of cigarettes once more, and promptly tossed both items into the dumpster before starting back to the school.

Alas, Kyle wouldn’t be seeing him in History class that afternoon.

Kenny got about halfway across the parking lot before he was smoked by Craig’s new jeep.

X

FIN

X

Oh my God. I killed Kenny!

Le gasp.

I hope that wasn’t too horrible… I tried to keep them IC. I think Kyle was fine, but Kenny was harder… especially since they’re both teenagers and whatnot.

Anyways… I’ve seen too much Kyle/Kenny fan art as of late, hence their appearances, haha.

I have a soft spot for this pairing for some reason… it makes me smile. Though in this, it’s mostly one-sided. But they’re both my favorite characters, along with Wendy (even though I wasn’t too fond of her in earlier seasons). Don’t get me wrong; I love all of the characters… but I think Kyle and Kenny are my favorite.

Hmm… yeah. I can’t think of anything else to say.

Hopefully you guys enjoyed!

-Lady Azura-