|The Adventures of Fluffy Truman the Rabbit
Author: the one who breathes nitrogen PM
Fluffy Truman wishes you a good day and that by reading his story you can be elevated to a highter place. On his adventures he meets random people from Harry Potter, and some that aren't, Full summery inside. Please read, and review! Crackfic.Rated: Fiction T - English - Drama/Humor - Chapters: 3 - Words: 2,010 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 07-13-10 - Published: 12-31-08 - id: 4758885
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
A Very Evil Pudding.
As second chapters go, this is in fact a very good one. Maybe… Sort of…but of course- Fluffy Truman believes it is a shocker of a chapter. Fluffy Truman, of course, will always manage to bring you into a higher existence. So, Enjoy!
As Fluffy Truman emerged from his imaginary cloud of smoke- he saw a light shining through all the darkness. A single face appeared looking down at him with a mystical and beautiful nose. It was crafted as an angel's nose would be crafted. It was not unlike Michael Jackson's wonderful snoz, as it almost fell off in the heat of the day.
"What-" Fluffy Truman exclaimed in wonder. "EWMYGOUD!" he then yelled. "I MUST BE DEAD!" He then put two and two together, and yelled to no one in particular, "EWMYGOUD! IT'S AN ANGEL!"
The angel-man spoke, his voice like melted toothpaste.
"Oh my little bunny-marijuana-smoking-friend!" he laughed rather non-unpretentiously. "Do you still want a signed photo?"
With that sentence, Fluffy Truman was catapulted back to a world of pink bunny suits and funny smelling motorboat sales-men.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Fluffy Truman yelled in pure agony. "NOOOOO!" He then repeated his early statement. Then he yelled, "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Repeating, "NOOOOOOOOOOO," over and over again just seemed like the right thing to do at the moment. So he did it again.
"ARE YOU OK?" the angel man asked, frightened by this sudden outbreak of two letter words. You see the biggest word he knew well was "yes," so this was hard to interpret. Then Fluffy Truman decided the best way to make the man stop talking was to scream again.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-"he began to say but then began to feel enlightened because an amazing sight became visible just behind the god-man's shoulder. "Ewmygoud…" he gasped in awe. For there standing in the smoke that he had so recently fainted in, was the most beautiful man he had ever seen. His face was round like a Rubik Cube, but also square- like a banana. His nose was as red as Rudolf's (Point of reference: Rudolf the red nosed reindeer had a VERY shiny nose and if YOU ever SAW it- you would ever say it GLOWED. Then again, you may also think you were on LSD) The man was wearing as much makeup as a cheap 40-year-old hooker, with bright red blush and cherry red lipstick, this covered foundation two shades too light. He wore a considerable amount of body glitter for a man who was neither a vampire, nor a stripper, nor Justin Beiber. But wait! The man's glorious nose was sadly, suddenly, gruesomely gone!
Where his nose should have been was a mass of ripped, infected flesh of a gruesome wound- one that had cost the man a prominent feature. You could see the tendons and cartilage beneath his face, and even the evidence of the deepest of cuts, the white of a bone that has been exposed to the elements. Tiny bits of flesh were separated from the rest of his face, left there from his enraged attacker. Whoever had attacked him had done so in anger, and he had not really allowed the wound to heal. Small scabs had begun to form, and there was evidence that suggested that he had itched and pulled at theses scabs, perhaps dreaming that he was somehow getting back at his attacker in the dead of night, as he often did.
Fluffy Truman noticed, in a state of horror, that this once beautiful man was in fact- someone he had once known. IT WAS PUTRID THE CLOWN! A LONG LOST BROTHER OF HIS CULT! (Point of reference: Fluffy Truman was in fact real brother with a human clown. It's a messy family history, but his father… was weird. Coincidently, he also had a beard. So from this point on Weirdo with a Beardo as he will now be called is Fluffy Truman's father. Not that either of them knew that they were brothers, or that they even HAD a father. Anyway.)
The clown was very ugly. AND beautiful.
"!" Fluffy Truman exclaimed.
"I didn't even ask you my question yet," said the God-man.
Fluffy Truman and the clown were confused.
"Would you and the frightening clown like to go to the dentist with me!" Gilderoy asked hopefully, his nose swinging on its hinges as he jumped up and down in the air, clapping his hands.
"MY NAME IS PUTRID THE CLOWN," the clown finally spoke. "OR BACK IN MY HOMETOWN, THEY CALL ME Payaso que asusta a muchos niños cuando se entra en una habitación."
Both rabbit and man stared in awe of Payaso que asusta a muchos niños cuando se entra en una habitación. He was so smart.
"You're mean. YOU TAKING AWAY MY TALKING TIME WITH THE DENTIST WITH YOUR NAME! MEANIER! ARE YOU COMING OR NOT SCARY MAN AND TRICKS THE RABBIT?" The god man screeched.
"That's a very evil pudding!" Fluffy Truman plotted. "AND BY PUDDING I MEAN QUESTION!" he explained.
He turned, grabbed the clown, and ran away.
We did not delete the author's note because we felt it would put you into epelectic shock. Too much Fluffy Truman in one dose can do that to a person. We also know why this is rated "T" now. Because we said, out loud, Justin Bieber's name. OH NO! I SAID IT AGAIN! AHHHHHHHH…. ANYWAY, review if you have questions, didn't understand the plot, or have any unusual crack dreams. Or have a comment. Like normal people. We thank you for your time.