Ahahah, I love writing these two. I hope you like it too!

Minato glances around the clearing. There are eight of them, and he’s surrounded.

“Move and we’ll kill you.”

That’s not the issue. Minato knows that he can probably disable all of them in ten seconds flat. Eleven if he starts off on the wrong foot. The issue is that Kushina is nowhere to be seen, and there’s no way in hell Minato’s ready to risk her getting caught up in this.

It’s an uncomfortable situation, really.

“What do you want?” he asks carefully, hoping like hell that doesn’t constitute movement. If he can just stall them for long enough, maybe Kushina will pick up on something being wrong and get the hell out of there.

The guy who Minato figures is the leader opens his mouth, but before he gets the chance to say anything they’re interrupted by the sound of retching and muttered cursing from somewhere in the trees.

Minato freezes an instant before the enemy shinobi. He’d recognise that swearing in his sleep.

“Minato, I am going to kill you for doing this to me!” Kushina stumbles out into the clearing, wiping her mouth on the back of her back of her hand. Bizarrely, Minato notes that she really looks quite lovely despite having just hurled up her breakfast.

The leader smirks. “Well, well, what have we—"

He’s dead before he can finish that sentence, throat slit. Sometimes even Minato is shocked at just how fast his wife can move when she’s angry.

Apparently she noticed the danger.

“Yes, you misogynistic bastards, I’m a woman. And I just killed your leader. You now have a choice between leaving very quietly, or ending up the same way. I am not in the mood for witty banter today.”

Purely out of reflex, Minato’s palm slammed into his forehead as the enemy shinobi moved as one after his wife.

There are many things in this world that Minato is willing to put up with. Attacking is wife is not one of them.

In the end, it only took five seconds to get the lot of them, but he had Kushina’s help as well. Wiping the blood off on the grass, he glances over at his wife to see her looking in disgust at her long braid.

“So freaking inconsiderate,” she grumbles. There’s blood, or some other bodily fluid matting the end, and Minato figures she choked someone with it again. He doesn't stop to wonder how you can choke a person in five seconds - when it comes to Kushina, it's best not to question such things.

“You were meant to me keeping watch!” he exclaims. “You could have been hurt!”

“I had more important things to deal with,” she replies dismissively.

Minato gapes, as he often does around Kushina. “More important than keeping watch in enemy territory.”

The woman blanches, and the next thing he knows, she’s hurled all down his jounin vest.

“Aw, man,” she grumbles as he blinks in shock. “Being pregnant sucks.”