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**Special Thanks to Katie [Kwizbit]. It makes me smile every time we get online and gossip about our men, these characters... and our SECRET CLOSET SHIP!Chapter Five: Internal jealousy spawns between the girls and the boys as they bond with each other... Jasper and Edward
gossip like girls about the past… Bella, Rose, and Alice have an eventful day... and things start to boil over between Edward and Bella.
*** KEEP THE TISSUES BESIDE YOU AND READ SLOW! ***
Disclaimer: I own nothing that is Twilight or Stephenie Meyer related. But I think she's a genius for creating these two characters that I can play with!
The worst is over now, and we can breathe again.
I wanna hold you high and steal my pain away.
There's so much left to learn, and no one left to fight.
I wanna hold you high and steal your pain...
Cause I'm broken when I'm open, and I don't feel like I am strong enough.
Cause I'm broken when I'm lonesome, and I don't feel right when you're gone away...
Seether ft Amy Lee, "Broken"
Chapter Five: Pain Stealer
AlicePOV
"Pssst, Alice!"
"...Alice..."
"Mmm.."
"ALICE BRANDON."
I pouted rolling over and nuzzling against the warm presence in my bed.
"Alice..."
"What?" I groaned, inhaling the warm body's scent.
"Wake up! Rose and I are going to the store; we want you to come with us. We need your help."
I whined, smashing my face into the warm presence's shoulder.
Then I realized it was Edward next to me, and that I wasn't in my bed, I was in his. I snapped my head up in a groggy daze and looked behind me, to find Bella kneeling beside the bed, her left eyebrow raised high with a curious expression. She was dressed in a brown fitting t-shirt with a cute design on it, jeans, and brown snow boots. She was cheery. Glowing even.
"What time is it?" I asked, my voice scratchy.
"It's 8:30."
I dropped my head back onto the pillow as Edward's arm flopped over on my stomach, jerking me to him. I froze like a statue, my hands in the air. He was lying on his stomach with a pillow over his head, with his arm wrapped up around me. Bella giggled at my side, her hand clasped over her mouth so she wouldn't wake him up.
"You guys look like you had an interesting night," she whispered nonchalantly, taking a glance of his clothes on the floor.
"Yeah, I wish," I whispered back.
Edward flipped his head over and stuck his warm nose on my shoulder, mumbling something incoherent about McDonald's.
Bella and I giggled, our hands back on our mouth.
"What was that Edward?" she asked cutely.
"Mfdfefd dfa and afalfjle McDonalds please."
"What?" we asked simultaneously, more giggles.
He growled at us as he slowly opened his green eyes. He blinked a few times, his gaze bouncing from Bella and me, his face unreadable.
We couldn't help but laugh more at him; he seemed so confused and clueless. He wiped his face, pulling his body up from the sheets.
"What's going on?" he asked hazily, his sleepy voice beyond sexy.
Bella giggled, pouting her lip at him with an aww, poor baby expression, "Alice is going to go with Rosalie and I to get some groceries. We need to stock up. It's snowed a few inches, so we want to get some before it gets worse."
He nodded, continuing to blink in order to adjust his eyes, "what car will you be taking?"
"We have figured that out yet. We can't take Jasper's truck because we all won't fit in it."
"We can take Emmett's jeep," I suggested, shrugging, "I don't think he'd mind."
"He might," Edward replied, "but it's probably your best bet. Do you guys have a cell?"
"Mine's on my charger," Bella replied and I shook my head. I dropped mine in a mud puddle the night we had to carry Edward up to the apartment, and it still hasn't dried out completely.
He nodded, reaching over me and grabbing his phone off the night stand, "here Bella, take this. That way if you guys need to get a hold of us, you can."
She nodded, taking it with a smile. Edward leaned over and rubbed my hair in his hands, messing it up. I punched him in his side as I climbed out of the bed, suddenly freezing as the draft hit me. I ran into the bathroom, having to pee thanks to the cold air sinking in my skin. I cracked the door, since the bathroom was colder than the bedroom and I didn't want to turn into a statue on the toilet.
I could hear Edward moving in the bed, exhaling loud. "You look nice," he said to Bella, his voice still scratchy.
"Thank you. You look tired."
"I am," he replied. "I didn't get much sleep."
"Too much sex?"
"Ha, I wish that was my reason. No, actually all I could hear was Emmett and Rose down the hall. They weren't very quiet, to say the least."
"They didn't have sex, Edward."
"They most definitely did. Didn't you hear it?"
I walked into his bedroom, brushing my teeth.
Bella was sitting beside him over the covers, her hands crossed over her chest, and her legs extended and crossed as well. "Edward, that wasn't them," she snickered.
I dropped the toothbrush while Edward's head snapped up. "Was it you and Jasper then?"
She giggled, her face turning pink but shaking her head. I ran into the bathroom and spit, rinsing my toothbrush good from the carpet hairs. It was still silent when I got back in there, climbing over them and enjoying their body heat.
"You don't think..." his voice trailed off as he scratched his unruly hair.
Bella chuckled lightly and nodded, her hand over her mouth.
"Ewww," I replied, suddenly understanding what they were talking about. "Tanya and Jacob?"
We all laughed in disgust, wiping our faces.
"That's horrible, we're going to have to desensitize Jacob," Bella joked, receiving a slight glance from Edward. "Sorry," she stated.
He shook his head, climbing out of the bed. I watched Bella's lips part as she studied his shoulders and sexy tan back, and his lowered boxers. It bothered me that he caused her to have that reaction, only proving that she was still interested in him, to some sort of degree.
"Just be careful driving, girls. It might be slick."
She grabbed my hand and pulled me out of the bed with her, rubbing Edward's hair on her way out. He pushed her away, teasing.
I winked at him, which he returned. Then she continued to pull me into my room, and I plugged my nose as we entered, afraid of smelling... stuff.
It was empty.
And didn't smell off.
Rosalie stood next to my bed, with three outfits laying there. She was wearing blue jeans, big furry boots over them, and a white long sleeved shirt, followed by a vest that matched her grey boots. "Pick one."
I groaned and walked over there, examining their choices. They were all my clothes, so it's not like any of them were anything less than spectacular, seeing as I have wonderful taste. I just hated being up at morning. I may be a sunny person, but not when someone else wakes me up. That just drives me crazy.
I chose my dark denim jeans, my long, hip hugging grey shirt, and my grey headband. She gave me my matching grey boots, and they stayed in there while I changed.
"So what's the deal with you and Edward?" Rosalie teased, flopping down on my bed on her stomach, twisting her hair around her finger. Bella smiled, climbing beside her.
"Nothing."
"Didn't look like nothing," Bella said.
"Trust me, it's not like that."
"Yeah but it could be," Rosalie countered, "I mean, you guys are hot, you're close, you're BFFs... It could totally be like that."
I shook my head, pulling on my jeans, "he doesn't see me that way."
Bella's eyebrows rose as she slowly climbed to her knees on the mattress. "How so? He adores you; it's all over his eyes every time you walk into a room."
I twitched my lips, looking down to slip on my boots, "yeah well... I guess he adores other people more."
"Like who?" Rose scoffed, running her fingers through her straight locks. "Satan downstairs, fiddling her leg up and down as she glares at everyone?"
I giggled, shaking my head, "No-
Bella cut me off, sitting straighter, "Oh my God, Rose, Jake and Tanya totally hooked up last night!"
"Shut up!"
"I'm serious. They're avoiding each other like the plague, but it's so obvious! It wasn't any of us, so it had to be them."
"Oh my gosh," Rosalie groaned, her hand to her forehead, "poor Jacob."
We all giggled in unison, sounding like caddy high school girls. It was funny though.
"Am I like the only one not getting any?" I asked, my hands on my hips.
They looked at each other and smirked.
"I'll take that as a yes."
"Aww, Alice," Bella said, coming to stand by me, "it's not like you're not beautiful or sexy or any of all those other things. Maybe you just need to work it at a different angle."
"Yeah, the more exposing angle," Rosalie contributed.
"How do you mean?"
Bella bit her lip in a slight shrug as Rosalie climbed over to me. "Well for starters," she said, slapping her hand on my shoulder, "Bella and I can see a connection with a certain bronze-haired best friend of yours... maybe you could work that angle."
I sighed, looking in the full length mirror as I fixed my hair with the cute hair band, "trust me. He wouldn't buy it."
"Maybe you just nee-"
I cut Bella off, shaking my head, "he'd only buy it if I were you, Bella... He seems to be fond of you again."
Bella's lips parted in shock, and she didn't respond.
"Edward is so not interested in Bella," Rose scoffed, handing me my jacket. "They just started to get along, like, eleven hours ago... Acquaintances, which I don't even think is a good idea personally."
I began to put on my makeup as the room fell silent.
Bella pushed her slightly, and then composed her face, putting on her mask and rounding her shoulders. "Well... I don't think he's interested in me like that ...Alice. And... Besides, you know... you won't have to worry about me... anyway. I mean, I have Jasper now. So I'd be... you know... cool with it."
I nodded, trying to ignore this conversation completely. The last thing I needed was more people to tell me how good Edward and I would be together... everyone but him.
As I was getting ready, I couldn't help but secretly compare Bella's features to my own. She had piercing, round, almost golden-brown eyes. I had okay looking, almost charcoal eyes. I had a skinnier top lip than her. She had fuller cheeks. Her hair was longer than mine, and most guys tend to go for that. She had more hips on her, but she was so skinny, it only classified as men loving curves. And her boobs were bigger.
Yeah I was pretty much screwed.
She smiled at me from the reflection when she caught me glancing at her. I returned it, looking down to my eyeliner pencil.
After I got ready, we all went downstairs and found Edward sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers, eating a bowl of fruit loops. He gave us a slight nod, told us where Emmett's keys were, and that he was sleeping and not to wake him up, and he'd tell him we took the car. I watched as we were putting on our coats, and saw that Bella and Edward were smiling at each other... these comfortable, silent, slight smiles... but their eyes were just glowing. The both of them. I frowned, turning to walk out of the room, and coming into contact with a large object.
I fell down, the large object tumbling with me, and over me.
"Oh my gosh!" Jasper said, crawling over to me to help me up. "Are you okay, Alice?"
I nodded, wiping off my pants as we both stood our feet, "I'm fine, are you okay?"
He nodded, keeping his hands on my arms as he made sure I didn't lose my balance, "I'm so sorry, I didn't know you were going to turn and walk."
"No, no, I'm sorry; I should have paid better attention."
We removed our hands from each other, smiling. Jasper is cute, I thought to myself, as I began to remember my dream. He had these Abercrombie looks to him... the slight, country, but modern rock star... preppy surfer boy. Brown and blonde twisted locks, always smooth and perfected, going a little past his eyes. Beautiful lips, an adorable smile... a sexy accent...
"Are you all right?" he asked, tilting his head down to me.
I nodded, snapping my eyes from his and out of my daydream, "thanks again, you know, for helping me up."
"Anytime."
We smiled at each other before parting ways. I watched as he gave Edward a nod before wrapping his arms around Bella, behind her back, and curling his head into her neck, giving her slight kisses as she squiggled in his grasp.
What was it about her? I mean, yes, okay, she's extremely beautiful and the all-American girl...
I growled to myself, realizing how pathetic I was. There was no reason to dislike her, now that Edward had forgiven her for what she did in the past. He moves on from their past, and as his supportive best friend, I move on too...
...If only he'd actually move on.
"Hey Alice," he called for me, as we all stopped and turned at the doorframe.
"Yes?"
"Will you get me some Lay's chips and French onion dip? You know the kind I like..."
I nodded, sighing as I turned around. Of course he wanted to stop me... to make sure I get him food.
"And some sweet pickles!" he shouted, as I gave him a thumbs out and walked out the door.
Dear Lord... Please just strike me down and put me out of my misery.
EdwardPOV
Well that was definitely a different way to wake up. I had an obnoxious, typical-man dream about my best friend and my beautiful ex-girlfriend, only to find them both at my bed when I woke up.
I had to blink a few times and organize my thoughts, before I began to jump up and down like a child, like I won the lottery.
They were going grocery shopping. Way to kill a dream buzz.
As I ate my cereal, I noticed Bella peaking up at me from her eyelashes, almost bashful, as she zipped up her coat. I tilted my head, giving her my best, comforting, crooked smile. Her eyes lit up and she returned the expression, hers just as graceful as mine.
Now my morning is complete, I thought to myself as I winked at her. She was so beautiful. I wished I could have told her. She really did make me feel better, just by being around.
It was something to look forward to with this winter vacation. Maybe we could get along...
But I highly doubted it, if I were being honest with myself. We both have tempers, we're both stubborn.
We both have too much crap on the other.
It can't go well all the time.
Jasper walked by me, opening up the fridge. "What's going on?"
I shrugged, taking another bite, "not much. I drank all the milk, so I hope you don't want cereal."
"Nah, that's cool," he replied. "Fruit sounds good this morning."
I raised my eyebrow at him, smiling, "fruit? For breakfast?"
"Yeah."
"That doesn't sound fulfilling."
"You'd be surprised," he said, pulling out some strawberries, kiwi, and the leftover pineapple.
Jacob walked into the kitchen, and as he met my eyes, he suddenly looked down at his phone, playing with the keypad.
I smirked internally, not saying a word.
So the fucker is avoiding me, since he banged my leftovers. Typical Jacob.
I figured I'd let him wallow it out, give him something to feel like a jerk for... if he actually had a conscious, that is.
Jasper flipped on the television in the kitchen, and we all ate in silence, watching MSNBC.
"I love this channel," I commented, zoning in on it.
"So do I," Jasper replied.
I gave him a slight nod, refocusing my eyes back on it. They were talking about the war overseas, and how they're hoping to avoid it once the new president took his place here in a few weeks.
Well, let's hope so, I thought to myself with a big sigh.
"Let's hope so," Jasper said out loud.
Awkward.
After breakfast, we all went our separate ways. I sat next to Tanya, trying to avoid the tension between us as I called her a cab. She seemed to never meet my gaze, facing the fireplace intently.
"Tanya, did you hear me?"
She shrugged, as if she didn't care what I had to say.
"I said, it might take awhile for them because of the storm passing through. They said to give it an hour or so."
"Whatever."
"You know, most people, when they get laid, find themselves happier the next day."
She glared at me, rolling her eyes, "well when you get dumped twenty-four hours before that, it doesn't really boost your ego either."
"Jacob not do it for you?" I joked, realizing my sarcasm.
"Edward," she hissed, crossing her arms over her chest and tapping her foot on the coffee table, "just answer me one question. Is it Bella that you're interested in, or is it Alice? Because I seem to be losing track."
I shrugged, shaking my head, "it's no one, I guess. Maybe I want to be single for awhile."
"I highly doubt that. The longest you've ever gone without some type of date was like, what, three weeks?"
"Since when have you been keeping tabs on me, Tanya?"
"I just don't get you. You always seem to want what you can't have. With Bella, it was me. With me, it was someone else... then it was Alice. If she had a boyfriend, and you and I were dating, you seemed to always find excuses for the two of you to hang out... like you were jealous. And now Bella has a boyfriend... so is it Bella again?"
I took a deep breath. "It's not up to you to worry about me anymore Tanya. Last time I checked, I cut you loose. You're free to do whatever you want. No stress from me."
"We all know you'll be calling me by the end of this week, telling me that you don't want to be alone."
"Not this time."
"We'll see," she muttered.
"But Jacob might," I suggested sarcastically, receiving a glare from her.
I just smiled and got off the couch.
"Hey, do you want to play some pool?" Jasper asked, heading over toward the table.
"Sure," I said with a shrug, "why not?"
"You rack 'em."
"Alright," I shrugged. "What are we playing?"
"Eight ball. You have to call the shots."
"Okay," I said, lighting my cigarette as I squatted down to pull the balls out of the rack.
"Shit."
I raised my eyebrows, looking over the table at him, "what's up?"
"I forgot to tell Bella to pick me up some cigarettes."
"I didn't know you smoke," I replied, tossing him my pack of Camel's over the green felt table.
"Thanks."
After I racked the balls, I told him to not break yet, and I was going to get dressed. I threw on a simple fitting grey t-shirt, and some William Rast faded holy jeans. My hair pretty much had a mind of its own, so I let it do its thing.
A few minutes later, I came toppling back down the steps. I found Jasper got dressed too. He was wearing a green Abercrombie t-shirt and camouflage Abercrombie pants. He even had on matching shoes and sunglasses. He had style, I gave him that. But why was he dressing like he was going out?
He had an extra cigarette of mine behind his ear as he leaned over the table, breaking the balls. One went in. "Looks like I'm stripes," he said.
I smirked, walking around, "good because I like solids."
"Oh yeah?"
"Mmhmm," I studied the balls, looking for the best shot. "I may be a little rusty," I replied, even though I knew I wasn't. I figured I may as well impress him.
He just nodded, motioning for me to go.
I noticed I had two balls sitting next to each other in the middle of the table, with both corner pockets open. I leaned over, lining the white ball in front of them.
"Which one you going for?" he asked. "You've got to call it, remember."
"Both," I smirked. He scoffed, shaking his head, "no way."
"Five bucks says I make it."
"Alright."
I ran the stick through my fingers a few times, making sure I had the alignment right. Then I shot, and both balls flew in their pockets. I smirked, rising up.
He slapped five bucks on the table. "Alright," he exhaled, walking around and examining his shots. He didn't really have jack shit open.
I ran into the kitchen, grabbing us both a beer. I handed it to him, but he raised his eyebrow. "It's nine in the morning."
I shrugged, continuing to hold it out to him.
"Alright," he said again, popping it open as he pointed his stick to the middle left pocket.
"So," I said as I watched him take a shot, bumping a few balls around, not making it in, "how did you and Bella meet?"
"College," he replied. "We had an English class together."
"Oh yeah? What's your major?"
"I majored in history. I find it fascinating."
"Cool," I said, as I called my next shot, "blue right pocket." I missed it by two.
"How did you meet Bella?"
I looked up at him, not expecting that question, "I moved to her school mid-freshman year. She was in my biology class, we were lab partners."
"What was she like in school?"
I smirked, shaking my head, "clumsy, mostly. I can't remember how many times I had to keep her from breaking every bone in her body. She was very clueless about the effect she had on people. She'd only recognize herself as 'normal'. She was a bit shy... at first. And very stubborn." I laughed as he knocked one in the middle pocket, "we had this love-hate relationship, because we were both stubborn."
He nodded, his smile wide, "I see that about you two still. Both stubborn."
"My mother, Esme, said if anyone would be able to put me in my place, it'd be Bella, because she could see it from both angles, so she'd know how to use my side against me."
"Makes sense."
"Yeah."
"Did you two date immediately after meeting?"
"Oh no," I shook my head fast, "her father Charlie was big on the no dating until you're sixteen rule, and Bella had only been fifteen when we met. So we became friends first... and when that didn't work out, we had to sneak around."
He laughed, "I wish I could have met Charlie. Bella talks about him a lot."
"He was a good man."
"I can imagine."
We took about five minutes, both of us missing, in silence.
Then he spoke again, "...can I ask if the infidelity was the reason you two called it quits?"
I sighed, "for the most part, yeah. When trust is lost in a relationship, it's pretty much over. We broke up, and then, you know, we tried to get back together a few days later... but we couldn't put it in the past. We were seniors at that time, and college had been right around the corner, with all those decisions to be made... We had a lot on our shoulders. Things became complicated, for the both of us."
"...Bella never told me she cheated on you."
I looked up at him, furrowing my brows, "she doesn't... necessarily consider what she did cheating."
"How's that? Didn't she say that she had been with Jacob while you two were together? ...I was going to ask her about it, but wasn't for sure if she'd be upset with me for getting in her business."
"Well," I said, lighting another cigarette, "we were fifteen at the time. It had been a few months after we began to sneak around, you know, call it official. Her father and his best friend, Billy, got this idea in their heads that Jacob and Bella were meant to be together... you know, like women do with their daughters and their neighbors' sons?"
He laughed, his face amused.
"So she went out on a few casual dates with him, as per request of their parents, and one night, they took it to... second base, and a half."
"Ahh," he said, nodding as he took his shot, "that makes sense. And you two were together then, so..."
"Exactly."
"You took it pretty hard, I guess?"
"At first, I was mainly disappointed, but I got over it because I really liked Bella. She was the only girl I was ever crazy about. ...But, after her and Jacob continued to hang around each other, I started to notice things I didn't like... for instance, we'd be on a date, and he'd call, and she'd answer it and talk to him for a long time. Or she'd hang out with him instead of me on certain nights. Or if he was angry, she felt it was always her job to console him and cheer him up... She never let the guy figure things out for himself. And our senior year, I found them kissing in her bedroom... one of those, his hands in the back of her shirt, and the other tangled in her hair, faces smashed against each other... I was going to take her to a pre-grad party, and I showed up early because I wanted to surprise her with an outfit my mom bought her... and needless to say, I was the one who ended up being surprised."
"Jake said you two got into it pretty bad."
"Yes," I chuckled, shaking my head, "I pretty much ran into there, fists blazing. We broke into a fight; her mother Renee called the cops. We ended up in jail even. His dad booked us! He was that pissed off at Jake for fighting. They tried to put us in a holding tank, but they had to keep breaking us apart, so we had to be placed in separate cells."
"And ever since, you two have hated each other?" he guessed.
"Pretty much. I think he's shady. I never know what his intentions are, and that makes me not trust the guy."
He nodded as he watched me call and take my shot, "you hold a large part of her history, Edward. It's quite intimidating."
I nodded, pulling my bottom lip in, "some of that history was pretty bad though... like all couples, we had our disagreements. Others were okay, when we had our off days, or when something had been bothering us... And then some were perfect... one of those days you wished you could stay in and float around forever. It was young love, you know? Deep, passionate, always changing, always increasing love. That type you always compare everyone else to. We were each other's firsts."
He pursed his lips, "she definitely does that."
"What?"
"Comparing. I've known her a little over three years now, and every date she's been on or any guy she was interested in, I'd hear her say stuff like, 'he's too intellectual for me' or, 'he plays baseball'... Just any random thing that reminded her of you, she didn't want to be around."
I smirked, leaning back against the wall, "girls are crazy."
"Yeah."
"So... how serious are you and Bella?" I asked, trying to sound carefree.
"I asked her to be my girlfriend the other night, officially, and she agreed. But I waited three years to work up the courage to ask her."
"Cool," I replied, though my stomach twisted around, "...and so it's serious then?"
He took his shot, leaving us three balls left. "Yeah, it's pretty serious."
I nodded, unable to respond. That made my stomach twist more.
"You still love her though, right?"
I looked up at him, our eyes focusing on each others, as we stayed silent for a few minutes.
"Most days," I then replied, trying to kid around, not wanting to tell her boyfriend what I wasn't sure I felt yet. "...I don't know..."
He nodded, returning my smile as he took the shot, and won the game by one.
Jacob never came out from his hiding spot. Little fucking chicken shit.
RosaliePOV
We had our grocery cart halfway filled as we perused the cereal aisle, which we all knew was our favorite. Bella began throwing boxes in the cart, about five of them.
"Whoa, whoa," Alice giggled, running over and grabbing her hands, "how many kinds of cereal are you planning on getting?"
"Alice, we have eight - well hopefully soon to be seven - people in the house. Cereal is a must."
"Well, make sure you grab Golden Grahams for Edward, be-"
"It's his favorite."
"...Right."
Bella smiled as she tossed them in, "I do remember some things about him."
"So," I said, because I wanted to learn more about everyone's current situations, "Bella, how serious are you and Jazz now? Are you guys... you know..."
Bella's cheeks turned pink as we turned the corner, entering the drink and soup aisle. "It's good," she replied with a smile.
"Good?" Alice asked. "How good?"
"He's wonderful."
"Aww," I cooed, tossing some soups in the cart. "Like wonderful, adorable, or wonderful, sex-God?"
"Rose!"
"Come on Bells, you're killing me."
"He's..." her voice trailed off as she squatted to pick up some twelve-packs of soda from the bottom of the shelf, shoving them under the basket in the cart. "So Alice, what about you and Edward? Have you two ever... "
Alice groaned, holding her head back, "we're talking about you, not me."
"Oh but we all are very interested in knowing," I said with a nod.
"Well, if you must know..." Alice replied, bouncing around the cart, "...we almost... once."
I crinkled my forehead in disappointment. "What happened?"
"We were... drunk and... realized it wasn't the best for us... at the time."
Bella nodded, exhaling, "I understand that."
"I don't," I replied, causing them to laugh. "I mean, you like a guy, you have the chemistry, you have protection, and you have fun. Or at least... some kind of fun. That's what being young is all about."
"So I want to know how the whole Jacob and Rosalie thing happened," Bella responded in a sing-song voice, twirling around me in her squeaky snow boots.
I groaned, "we were horny. We're friends. We figured we'd lend a hand and help each other out. But we never had sex."
"But you said he gave the best head," Alice said to me with a sly smile.
"And?"
"Well what about Emmett?" Bella asked. "Do you like him now?"
I smiled, "I don't know... maybe. He seems like such a jerk sometimes, when the guys get together, and act like... guys. But last night, he lay beside me, over the covers, and we didn't even kiss. I wanted to really bad, but instead, he just ran his finger along my hand and arms as we talked about our families and our lives... we stayed up all night just talking. It really surprised me, because he seemed... you know... just as outgoing as I do, so to speak. But when we got together, all the physical stuff just went aside, and we really had a wonderful night. And to be honest, I hadn't spent a night like that in such a long time."
"Aww," they gushed at me.
"I really think I'm starting to like him."
"Aww!" Bella gushed again. "That's great, Rose!"
"Yeah yeah," I replied, waving my hands along to the last aisle, "we'll see. I don't want to talk about it too much and jinx it!"
"She really must like him then," Alice whispered to Bella as they giggled.
"You guys. Shut it. Come on, let's go home."
JasperPOV
Though I know it probably wasn't the best idea to talk with Edward behind Bella's back, especially about Bella... I couldn't help myself. I wanted to know his side of the story. I wanted to know why my girlfriend disliked him so much, yet compared me, and every other guy she'd ever met to him. I wanted to know what he was like, without all the drama surrounding him... and what I've came to understand is, he's not that bad. In fact, it's quite easy to be around him. He's funny, witty, talented...
Not to mention very fucking intimidating.
But I enjoyed the fact that he could open up to me as easy as I could him. And that it wasn't that awkward.
Plus, it's true that women know men gossip more than they do... we just do it in a more carefree manner then they do.
So here we were, four games of pool in, him winning two of the times. We were on our final round now, this time worth twenty bucks.
"So what's one thing about Bella that bugs you a bit?" he asked with a laugh.
"Well," I said with a shrug, "sometimes it bugs me when she goes into shy-mode. Sometimes, of course, I find it adorable... but other times... not as much. I'd rather her be the Bella that surprises people, like when she gave you a lap dance... no one expected that, including myself. She's really overtaking when she puts on that hat."
He smirked, calling his shot, "Bella's always been like that. She's got this shy streak, when you kid around with her about sex sometimes... but then other times, on the exact same subject of sex, when she brings it up... this sort of ... I don't know... feisty, sexy, fun girl escapes her. She's fifty-fifty when it comes to that, and it's pretty cool."
I agreed. "What was the hardest part for you two, besides the other people, in your relationship?"
"Ohhh," he stretched his arms, "probably... the sex." He raised his chin up from his lowered shot to make sure I was okay with that. I nodded at him.
"She told me about that night."
"Oh did she?" he asked amused. "Hmm. I hadn't even told Alice."
"Bella pretty much tells me everything."
"Hmm," he scored his shot, "she sure has grown up."
"Yes she has. So... how long had you known Alice?"
"Since we were three," he chuckled. "When my dad Carlisle got a promotion to head of the Surgery Department, and we moved to Forks, Alice's mother packed her up and moved them here along with us. Our parents are inseparable, making us equally inseparable. She's a wonderful woman."
"She seems so," I replied. "I find her interesting."
"Oh yeah?"
"Yeah," I smiled, "she's got spunk about her, but also this really sweet, sensitive, shy side. I like that in a woman."
"Alice is the whole package. She doesn't even realize her potential sometimes. I wonder if she gets that from Bella."
We smirked as we drank our beer.
"Are you two...?" I held my hands out in a weighing motion, "you know... Together?"
He shook his head slightly, "she's my best friend. It's complicated."
"Complicated-good?"
He shrugged, "complicated-complicated. Very confusing, very surreal. I've got all these other issues on my shoulders right now; it would only add to it and make things worse. I couldn't give her the proper attention that she deserved, relationship-wise. Not when my hands are tied."
"But doesn't breaking up with Tanya sort of... I don't know, untie those hands?"
"Sure," he agreed, "...if it were Tanya that did the tying in the first place."
My cell phone rang, bringing our conversation to a halt. I rose up my index finger as I turned to answer it. "Hello?"
"Jasper! It's Rosalie! We just got into an accident! It was so scary! We're kind of freaking out because it happened right after this big hill, and the cars are going way too fast and there's ice! ... W-We were on the interstate and a car in front of us l-lost control, and then this other semi had to turn almost side-ways to miss it, and so I hit my brakes and almost hit them, and there were cars behind me, and I didn't know what to do so I turned Emmett's car to the right to not cause a pile up, and we did this spin thing and I thought we were going to tip!... but we didn't and now we're stuck in this ditch-like thing and we can't get it out, and it's freezing out here!"
My heart was pounding through my chest. "Rosalie, calm down! Is everyone okay?"
"Yes I think so... w-we're just stuck."
"Okay, we'll be right there. Stay calm."
Edward raised his eyebrow, leaning his pool stick against the table. "Everything all right?"
I felt frazzled when I responded, "I'm afraid not. T-They put Emmett's jeep in a ditch. The roads are too damn slick, and only getting worse. They wrecked it."
"Come on, let's go." He grabbed his jacket, tossing me mine, and we ran out of the house, not bothering to wake Emmett up from his nap or hunt down Jacob from his hiding spot from Edward. We climbed in his car, being that my truck is too lowered and won't do any better on those slick roads. His is higher stacked from the road, bringing less contact to the ice.
The snow was really starting to come down as Edward used my phone while driving, calling his cell phone, which Bella answered.
He remained calm, but I could hear her frantic on the other end.
"Bella? Hey, are the three of you all right? ... Yeah? ... Good... Did that semi get away or did he get hurt too? ... Mmmhmm. Right... Good girl, you did the right thing. I'm proud of you. No, don't get out and make sure he's in his truck, I'm sure he's doing alright. The paramedics are on the way, they'll handle that. Tell them I said to stay in the car too. I understand hun, but you don't want to get out of the car and end up being run over by the oncoming traffic, or freeze out there in the cold... No, Jasper and I are on the way right now, so don't panic... I know... I know, Bella... Yes, but, hey, hey... Bella, listen to me... If you panic, it's just going to make it worse. The cars aren't going to hit you, I promise... Yes, I promise. ...They will hopefully see the Jeep and switch over to the other lane... Mmhmm... I know sweetheart. We'll be there in five minutes..."
He listened to her as he looked at me and mouthed She's okay. I nodded, exhaling. There had to be at least four feet of snow outside, not to mention a good solid sheet of ice on all the roads... And there were wrecks everywhere. Not very comforting.
"...No, I don't mind staying on the phone with you until we get there..."
He chuckled, pulling onto the interstate, "don't you worry about me; I know how to handle this type of weather. I'm serious, stop worrying your pretty head... Mmhmm... Shhhh... I know... Tell Alice to stop crying, we're almost there... I know you guys are scared... We're almost there... Can you put Rose on for a second? ... Hey Rose... Yeah, we're fine, how are you handling it? ... Good... No Emmett's not going to be upset with you... I promise, Rose. He's insured with full coverage... It was better that you did that than get into an accident and get yourselves killed, right? ... I know... I know you guys are scared... We'll be there in a few minutes, stay calm. Keep the heater on and don't get out okay? ... "
As he talked, his voice so soothing, almost velvety even... he really impressed me. He had an incredible ability to handle stressful situations, while I was over here tensed up in anxiety. Edward seemed like a professional when it comes to these girls... and I remember Bella telling me he wanted to be a doctor like his father, which seemed to be a good fit for him.
We started to slow down when we began to drive up this icy hill on a bridge. There was a bit of a traffic jam, due to so many cars sliding off the road.
When we rose to the top to the hill, my heart really began to beat out of my chest. The first thing I saw to the left of the interstate was a blue semi truck with his trailer tipped over. Then we saw a red car and a yellow car that were smashed and collided a few feet from that. To the right we saw tire tracks, and then Emmett's truck, the front end down a steep ditch. Then there were a few more cars past them, off the road with blinking lights. Edward hit his flashers and slowed the car down, and we felt the car sliding down the hill. He kept maintain of it as we went lower, toward Emmett's car. But other cars behind us were struggling more.
Traffic was really backed up, and it was pretty damn scary. I was freaking out on the inside. Cars were honking all around; there were sirens in the distance...
Once he pulled behind the jeep, he handed me some gloves and kept his flashers on. "Alright, you go check on the girls, stay there with them, okay? I'm going to go make sure that everyone else is all right."
I nodded as we bailed out of the car. I watched as he crossed the slick interstate between cars, running quickly. I ran to the girls, to find Rosalie crouched over the seat with her head on the steering wheel, crying. Bella's eyes were wide and swollen as she fidgeted in the passenger seat, and Alice was sniffling in the back seat. Grocery bags were spilled over behind her.
"Are you guys okay?" I asked, as they all saw me and the three of them leaned over to hug me. I inspected their faces and bodies quickly. Rosalie had a slight gash on the left side of her forehead, probably from the steering wheel or window when they collided. Bella's right forearm was scratched, and Alice didn't look scratched, but was complaining a bit about her neck... which made me think of possible whiplash.
I told them to stay inside as I hopped down the steep hill, almost falling, and tried to inspect how deep they were in... It was pretty fucking bad. I could feel my face burning from the cold wind as I glanced across the road. I saw Edward standing on the step of the passenger side of the Blue rig, his hands in the air and talking inside the window. After a few seconds, he nodded and ran down the snow-covered grass, about twenty feet, toward the red and yellow cars that had collided together, from opposite lanes. He was motioning to them and running between the cars, making sure everyone was alright there too.
Cars continued to slide down the hills recklessly, making me and the girls nervous as I watched their expressions of horror as they stared out the back window, toward the traffic. "This road should be fucking shut down," I said to myself as I got on my knees, trying to move the snow away from the tires and inspect for flats. I heard police and ambulance sirens from a distance, horns honking as they tried not to cause accidents passing through the traffic jam. Once they finally made it, they pulled by the semi, as another cop car and ambulance went toward Edward. He talked to paramedics, showing them something from his wallet. They nodded and he pointed to where we were, probably explaining why he was here. They talked for a few more minutes. There weren't really enough paramedics to handle the six cars that were off the road, in this little section alone. I didn't even want to imagine how bad it was elsewhere. This was shitty enough.
I climbed into the Jeep with the girls, trying to feel my ears and nose again. It had to have dropped to about zero degrees out here. It was ridiculously cold, even for the 28th of December, on such a shitty day.
Edward opened up the driver's door to the yellow car while the three paramedics ran to the red car. They were pulling out two kids, one who seemed like she had a broken arm, and a hysteric mom. Edward helped move an older man, probably in his seventies, who was crying, hugging him. The girls began to cry as they watched all the different scenes, bouncing between them and the paramedics trying to pull the man from the semi truck. He appeared to have a pretty bloody face and a broken leg or two.
Edward remained calm as he helped the last woman paramedic get the man into the ambulance, rubbing his arms and reassuring him he was okay. After that, the paramedics must have told him thanks and to get back to us. Bella and Alice straightened up their backs as he came toward the crowded interstate, nervous about him crossing the road. I don't even think Bella was breathing, and Alice's was very shallow. Rosalie had her hand over her mouth, not saying anything. "He's alright girls," I whispered to them, "he won't get hurt."
"Edwardddd, watch it," Bella whispered, biting her nails and looking anxious.
We heard tires screech and she practically shot out of the seat, onto her knees. "Oh God, oh God, oh God... No, no... Edward don't do it yet..."
Edward froze, taking a few steps back from the road.
"Good, good. Stay there, wait till that black car passes... his brakes aren't good!" she shouted, as if he could hear her.
I watched as he waited; a few cars behind the black car honking. After it passed, he jogged back across the interstate to us. He ran over to the drivers side, and Rosalie jerked the door open as far as it would go, considering the snow drift from all the wind. His face was red and his eyes were puffy from the cold, but he seemed calm.
"Are you guys okay?" he asked.
"Yes!" Bella shouted. "Get in here before you freeze!"
"No, I'm fine, don't worry. We're going to get you out, all right?"
They nodded, but Bella refused to take his word, leaning over Rosalie and grabbing him by his wrists, yanking him closer. She aimed all the vents in his direction, turning the heater on full blast.
She pulled his gloves off of him, putting his red hands toward the nearest vent. She didn't seem to care that leaving the door open while he stood outside let all the heat out of the Jeep, as long as he became warm.
They didn't say a word, just smiled at each other gently.
It made me feel uneasy... awkward...
I don't know what I felt.
Confused, mostly.
And maybe jealous...
As if this was the time or place to get jealous, I thought to myself as I scoffed. Get a grip Jasper, this is serious.
After a few more minutes, he pulled his glove back on. "All right, this is what we're going to do: Alice, Rosalie, Bella, I want you to go get in my car. Jasper and I are going to try and get this out, but I don't need you in here, panicking."
"I don't want to get in your car!" Alice shouted. "It's behind this car! What if someone hits us?"
"They won't, Alice," he whispered, leaning over Rose's seat to give her a hug, "I promise. Stop shaking, you're alright."
"I'm scared to death, Edward. There are people over there on stretchers!"
"I know you are, but we're all okay. You girls just need to trust me okay?"
They slowly nodded.
"Besides, you all did the right thing... You avoided a fifteen car pile-up. You called the ambulance for the others. You stayed in the car, you remained calm. I'm proud of you."
Alice and Rosalie cracked a slight smile, but Bella still seemed scared... worried... but I began to think more for Edward than anyone else.
Again, making me jealous. Stop it!
I walked them to Edward's car, reassuring them everything was going to be alright.
Then I ran back over to Edward, "alright, how do we get this beast out?"
"Well," he exhaled, inspecting the damage, "...we're at a deep incline, which is strike one. The Jeep is all-wheel drive, which may help us. See that patch of ice right there?" he pointed.
I nodded.
"That's called a bitch. It's going to cause the tires to spin, because there's no traction there, due to it being slick and cold. In the snow parts, like here at the front tires, it'll help us out. That's a good thing... So we're going to have to get the tires spinning enough to create some heat on the ice, so we can achieve a better traction, thus creating more force on the front tires... which could possibly pop us out."
I nodded again, trying to figure out how he knew this shit. I knew about trucks, but not any of this weather stuff.
"...and if that doesn't work," he replied, taking a deep breath as we both shuddered in the gust of wind, "...then we're going to have to flag someone down with a heavy truck that can pull us out."
"Should I call Emmett and wake him up, so he knows what is going on? I know we were so worried about the girls, we sort of just ran out.
"Yeah that's a good idea."
I figured Emmett would be the type to freak out over his precious vehicle, but he didn't. He was mainly worried about the girls' safety, and for ours. He offered to come out, but really didn't have a way to get there. So I told him not to, and if anything happened, we'd call.
Edward explained to me that he was going to try and gain some leverage on the ice, and to stand behind the vehicle, a few feet back on the shoulder, to make sure if he popped out, he wasn't going to hit any cars. So that's what I did.
I watched as he put the Jeep in reverse, revving the tires up. The front tires didn't even move at first, being that they were so deep in the snow. The back tires screeched and sped, faster and faster and faster, throwing patches of ice and steam behind him. I turned to make sure there were no cars, and then waved to the girls to make sure they knew we were alright. They were all biting their fingernails.
Edward did that three times, and on the fourth attempt, the front wheels started gaining speed. He'd move it back a few inches, but it'd roll forward again, back to the spot it was in.
I began to lose hope as I watched him struggle and fight against it. Then, around the seventh attempt, he almost got it all the way up and we all tensed up, until it began to slide backward to the left... then it slid back into the ditch at a different angle, more on its left side than straight forward.
He climbed out, breathing heavily. "Okay, that's not what I wanted to happen, necessarily, but it's better. Now we can flag someone down, and if they pull us out, it won't be straight for the lanes of highway... it'll be pulled more on the shoulder."
I nodded, listening to his instructions on how to flag someone down. As we stood on both sides of the interstate, waving our hands in the air toward the cars, Bella began to honk the horn to gain more attention. It took us about fifteen staggering minutes to get a Chevy 4x4 stock truck. A man with a heavy beard and a hunting hat ran toward me as Edward crossed the interstate again. We explained to him the situation, and he was gracious enough to help us out. Edward told me to go back his car up a few feet so the truck driver could squeeze in, while he helped him set up the tow.
I did what I was told, and so did he.
I stayed with the girls while they worked on it. The three of them remained tensed and panicked the entire time, until about twelve minutes later, when the Jeep popped loose from its stubborn spot, and onto the shoulder. Edward ran and hopped in, since the left side was on the slow lane, and pulled it over off the road completely.
"Oh thank God!" Rosalie shouted, still not taking our word that Emmett wasn't mad at her.
After Edward and the man shook hands and everything was situated, we figured out the seating arrangement. Alice and Rosalie refused to get back in the Jeep, still shaken up.
So I told Bella to go with Edward, which I personally felt was a better idea because I knew she'd be safe, since he knew what he was doing... plus she seemed so worried about him; I felt it would be a good time for her to get herself calm down, if she was near him...
And I told the girls I'd drive his car home, and they'd be safe with me. While we were working earlier, Edward explained to me tips on how to handle a vehicle in this type of extreme weather, so I knew I'd be okay to handle it. And I'd stay in front of him, so he could help me if I screwed up anything.
Bella gave me a kiss first, which made me slightly better.
But only slightly, as I soaked in her relieved expression as she ran to him.
BellaPOV
My heart was beating through my throat. My snow boots felt heavy, and my body was freezing. Edward came out of the truck once he saw me running, meeting me halfway to the Jeep.
"Bella! What are you doing? It's freezing out here!"
I met him, my hands on his forearms, "I was worried about you; I didn't want you to drive by yourself!"
"Bella, I'm fine," he said, pulling me closer, "you don't have to worry about me."
"I know but I can't help it."
We started to walk, but a car honked behind us and startled me, and I lost my balance. Edward twisted to grab a hold of me, and I started to fall back into the ditch, so he pulled me into him, landing on his back, with me on top of him.
We hit the road with an ooof!
His hands were on my hips as I lay on top of him, both of us breathing heavily. "Are you okay?" he asked.
I nodded, apologizing to him, "I'm sorry, I slipped, I didn'-"
"Bella, stop apologizing!" He pulled me to his chest and rose unsteadily to his feet. It was freezing, windy, snowing heavily, and the ground beneath us was like a skating rink.
He checked my hands, noticing they were a little scratched. He wiped them off with his gloves before pulling me into his chest, walking us back toward the Jeep. I felt the electric current overflowing between us with our constant contact.
He opened the door for me, which creaked now, thanks to us girls... and put me in. Then he ran around the front, inspecting the damage quickly, before climbing into the front seat.
"Brrr!" he exhaled as we put on our seatbelts. "Are you okay?"
I nodded, swallowing hard as my heart continued to drum.
He looked over his left shoulder, motioning for Jasper to go on ahead of us.
"Easy Jasper," he whispered, coaching him as if he could hear, "that's it... don't worry about the cars behind you... There you go, you got it."
Then he put the Jeep in first, moving us along. The back tires slid in space at first, but we finally got unstuck and weaseled onto the lanes.
"I'm so sorry, Bella," he said as he drove. "I didn't know it was going to get this bad. It came down quick. I would have never let you guys leave had I known it would be like this."
"It's not your fault, Edward. No one knew. It came out of nowhere."
"Yeah, it's most likely going to get worse too."
"Great..." I moaned, not taking my eyes off of the vehicles around us. I was so nervous, so frightened still that I was shaking. I didn't want anyone to get hurt. Especially him.
He noticed my trembling after a few seconds, taking my bare hands in his. "You're okay, sweetheart."
I nodded, not saying anything.
He remained calm, keeping his eyes on the road, in the mirrors, beside him, on me, on Jasper's driving...
"I really need a beer when we get home, after all this is said and done," I choked out, with a slight chuckle, "my nerves are shot."
He found this amusing, laughing with me, "or some weed. That works better."
I smirked, "I haven't done that since we were kids. That one time, remember?"
"Of course! You begged and begged me to let you try it, and then you did, and we jumped on the trampoline in my back yard, acting like little kids! Then when it really sunk in, you went into a panic attack because you thought everyone knew and your dad would figure us out, so I had to calm you down and-"
I cut him off, giggling at my own humility, "and then you told me to get under the covers and eat a Reese's cup, so I did, and I remember telling you it was the best food I ever had!"
He threw his head back, laughing as we slowly edged off the interstate behind Jasper, and onto the highway. "You were so funny! Just mmmming and oohhhhhing. If I hadn't been in the room with you, I would have thought you were having an orgasm!"
This made me burst into laughter, my stomach beginning to hurt. "it was so hilarious! Then I got cotton mouth, do you remember? And I kept licking my palm because I thought it was funny!"
"Yes! Then you asked me to lick your palm, to see if it would taste the same as you described! Ha! And I did, and it didn't taste the same at all!"
He shook his head in thought, "wait, what did you say it tasted like again?'
"Like salty ocean mixed with fresh peaches!" I threw my face into my hands. "So embarrassing! What a combination!"
"Hey, when you're high, you think of some random shit!"
After we calmed down our breathing from our giggle fit, something else popped in my head. "It's so funny that you want to be a doctor, but smoke out."
"I don't really do it that much," he replied earnestly. "Once every month or two... if even. When I'm bored. Just like cigarettes, only when I'm stressed... or on vacation. But tonight, I may make an exception."
I snickered, "hey, do you remember that time we had that massive power outage, and we lied and told my mom we were going to put puzzles together on the floor next to the fireplace, and we ended up making out, all over the puzzle pieces?"
"Yes! Because Renee came in and we tried to act like we weren't doing anything, but you had tiny puzzle pieces in your hair!"
"I know!" I giggled as we turned down our road, "and you had some in the hoodie of your sweatshirt! We were so busted!"
He shook his head, chuckling to himself, "we were dorks."
"Hey!" I pushed him slightly with my free hand. "Speak for yourself!"
He smirked, giving me his crooked smile. My favorite smile.
As we pulled into the drive and parked, I noticed that not only was my hand in his, but we were holding hands, like a couple now... fingers intertwined, palms locked. I bit my lip, slowly pulling my clammy hand from his heated grip.
"Oh, sorry," he muttered with a slightly embarrassed smile.
I returned his smile, "no worries."
Emmett came running out of the house as everyone climbed out of Edward's car, trying to get the groceries in the house without breaking a leg. "Is everyone all right?" he asked.
We nodded. Edward and Jasper walked in front of the Jeep to meet him, squatting down to inspect the damage as Jacob came sauntering out of the house. I overheard them talking over each other. Both headlights were out, the bumper was slightly scratched on the right, dented on the left, and some few minor dinks.
Rosalie curled her bottom lip out at me as we walked into the house with the final bags of groceries.
"Rose, it's not your fault."
"I know but I should have done something. Nothing pisses men off more than their vehicles getting wrecked."
"At least we're not hurt," Alice contributed.
"Yeah, but still..." Rose didn't take our word for it, pouting more, "he's so mad at me, I just have this feeling."
We began to put away the groceries, and I noticed Tanya still sitting in the exact same spot on the couch, in the same position. That meant the cab didn't come, with the traffic jams. And that meant she wasn't even concerned for any of us, especially Edward. God, what a bitch.
The guys entered the house after a few more minutes, coughing and catching their breath. Emmett came in, and as soon as he entered the kitchen, Rosalie burst into tears. He walked up to her, cradling her head into his chest as he shushed her.
"I'm so sorry!" she cried, humiliated. "I didn't mean to wreck your car!"
"Hey, hey," he whispered soothingly, rocking her from side to side, "I'm not upset with you. I'm just glad you were okay. I wished I could have been there."
"I didn't know what else to do, I'm so sorry. I understand if you're upset, and I promise Emmett, I'll pay for all the damages."
"No, no, there will be none of that," he kissed the top of her head. "I'm just glad you guys are all alright. I was really worried, especially for you."
She continued to sob into his shirt. I hadn't seen Rosalie this worked up since we were kids. She must really like him.
Alice and I smiled at each other as we watched their embrace. They did have a connection; that was true. As Alice put the cold items in the fridge, I glanced over the counter, and saw Edward staring at me, with sad eyes. My chest caved in as I glanced at him, and for a brief moment, I wished it was us in that type of embrace...
And then Jasper wrapped his arms around me, pulling me out of my thoughts. I took a breath, placing my attention back to his face as I hugged him back.
"I'm so glad you're okay, Bella."
"I'm glad you're okay too."
I had my eyes closed as we swayed back and forth. Then, I glanced over his left shoulder, back at Edward. He had Alice sitting up on a counter, wiping her face off with a cold rag. She had makeup smeared from her tears before, and he wanted to take care of her. After he was done, she pulled him to her, wrapping her legs and arms around him.
Again, my chest ached... for multiple, confusing reasons. Part of me, the biggest part, was jealous that he was holding anyone else but me. I don't know why, considering we just now became social toward each other... but I couldn't shake those feelings that crept up, telling me that it should be me in his arms... Then, this other half of me enjoyed being in Jasper's arms, and looked at Alice in heartbreak, knowing how much she loved him, romantically, and wondering why he couldn't see her that same way as she saw him...
I thought that maybe I could help Alice and Edward get together, if I reassure him somehow that it'd be good for him... that's the ex-girlfriend-slash-new-friend in me that wanted to help them out, and see that they both were happy.
But then there was this other selfish, stubborn, jealous girl that didn't want them to be together. Him with anyone, for that matter.
I don't know why either, and I felt incredible guilty for feeling this way.
I was still upset for some of the things that happened to Edward and I in the past, and I knew it would take awhile for those wounds to heal, regardless of if we've came to a mutual agreement for us to accept each other's apologies... and I knew he most likely didn't look at me like that anymore.
After all, last night as truth or dare was coming to an end, he said he loved me. Loved. Past tense.
I mean, hello Bella... you've moved on with Jasper. And he does make you happy, you can't deny that. And he cares about you soooo much. And you care about him too. So what is your problem? What do you want?
I sighed, squeezing Jasper tighter as I stared at them. I didn't know what I wanted. That was the hard part.
Emmett told us to take a break, and he was going to cook some steaks for us. Alice went and laid down in her bed, Jasper said he was going to go call his Dad - they're really close - Rosalie said she'd help Emmett cook because it was the least she could do. Jacob was sitting beside Tanya, and he even got her to move as she played Rummy with him. I noticed Edward following me up the stairs, and my heart skipped as the current increased between us.
When we both reached the third floor, I turned and smiled at him. "So... What are you about to do?"
He shrugged, looking around the hall. "I'm not quite sure. I thought about taking a shower. How about you?"
I giggled, "I was about to take a hot bubble bath."
"Oh," he chuckled, "I can wait then. Or take a shower somewhere else."
I nodded, biting my lip, "...thanks for today, Edward. You were really incredible. You held everything together, just like you always do."
"Thank you," he smiled and slowly blinked at me. "That's what I'm here for."
I nodded, swallowing hard. Again, I felt guilty, because I didn't want to leave his sight.
"I'm glad you're okay," he said, patting my right arm. "Go relax in the tub."
"Okay," I whispered, staggering as I walked away from him. I rolled my eyes at myself as I entered my bedroom, closing the door behind me and leaning against it, holding my breath.
Stop it, Bella. Jesus Christ.
I filled the tub up with bubble bath, grabbed my journal form the nightstand, undressed, and climbed into the hot water. My bones tensed up at first with the heat contact, then relaxed as I settled in.
"Ahh," I exhaled, leaning against the back, "this feels good."
I lay back, swaying my legs from side to side as I dangled my ring on the chain from my fingers. I thought about today, the car accident, the conversations with the girls in the store... I thought about Alice and Edward, and me and Jasper, and then I thought about me and Edward...
About fifteen minutes through my soak, I heard something that made my heart stop.
Edward was in his room, playing on his acoustic guitar. I stiffened as I listened to the intricate melody... my heart clenching. There was nothing, and I do mean nothing, that got to me more than Edward when he played his music. Whether it is the grand piano at his parent's house, or his acoustic guitar while his rusty, sexy, soft voice sang along...
I used to be able to listen to him for hours, watching his delicate fingers work, and me melting into a puddle of goo at his feet.
"I wanted you to know... that I love the way you laugh," he sang, his romantic voice breaking my heart. "...I wanna hold you high and steal your pain away... I keep your photograph and I know it serves me well... I wanna hold you high and steal your pain... Because I'm broken... when I'm lonesome... and I don't feel right... when you're gone away..." He hummed the last of the verse as his fingers continued to strum the strings, breaking my bones with their delicacy.
He didn't sing the girl part, and after a few seconds of it, I found myself lip-syncing the words quietly while I swayed the necklace in my hands. "...hmm-hmm.. hmm...hmm hmm hmm... and we can breathe again... I wanna hold you high and steal my pain... away... There's so much left to learn, and no one left to fight... I wanna hold you high and steal your pain..." I pursed my lips together, closing my eyes as I listened to his strumming get heavier... more beautiful.
I leaned my head back, soaking up the rest of his song... his humming...
After that song, and a melody I didn't recognize that must be his own, I heard his bedroom door open with a knock. What startled me more is that it was my new boyfriend, entering my ex's bedroom.
"Hey, what's up?" Edward asked, his strumming slowing to a stop.
"I'm sorry to bother you, and for being rude... I happened to hear you playing... I didn't know you played guitar."
"Yeah," Edward replied, strumming a few cords, "since I was fifteen. Bella's dad got me into it, actually."
My eyes sealed tight, my chin quivering.
"Oh yeah?"
"Mmhmm. I'd come over, back when Bella and I were merely lab partners, and listen to him play after he got home from his shift. He taught me a few cords, and I picked it up pretty quickly. My mother played piano, so I knew about rhythms and notes..."
"Can you play anything else?"
"Yeah, I can play electric guitar, which I brought as well... Over there, actually... And piano... And a little drums, but not that well. It's more Emmett's thing; I just like to play around."
"I can play electric guitar," Jasper replied, "since I was about seven."
"Really? Wanna play?"
"Sure. What do you know?"
"Anything."
"Do you know 30 Seconds from Mars? 'The Kill,' perhaps?" Jasper suggested.
"I bet if you began, I could catch on and pick it up..."
I began to wash my body as I relaxed, smiling. I loved Jasper when he played this song. It was so hot. A country boy who loved to rock out.
After only a few tries, Edward picked it up like it was a piece of cake.
"...What if I wanted to fight?" Edward sang as they strummed together, in almost perfect harmony. "...Beg for the rest of my life? ...What would you do? Do? Do? ... You say you wanted more... What are you waiting for? I'm not running from... you... From you..."
Then they both sang together, melting me more. "Come... break me down... bury me, bury me, I am finished with you..."
Then Jasper stopped singing, letting Edward finish, his scratchy voice affecting me in more ways than one. "...Look... in my eyes. You're killing me, killing me, all I wanted was you..."
They both stopped singing, focusing their attention on their now-perfect in sync rhythms.
After that, they played a few more popular songs, but not singing. I climbed out of the tub, wrapping the towel around me as I glanced in the mirror.
Then Alice called for Jasper from the kitchen, saying Emmett wanted him.
When Jasper left, I heard Edward playing something much softer...
Almost so soft, I couldn't hear it until I heard him singing... "Ohh... Ohhh... ...No, no..."
And right there, I lost my breath. Because I knew the song.
He wrote it for me...
...After...
I felt the tear drop fall from my left eye...
FLASH! Edward in a black suit, walking into my bedroom as I sat on my bed crying, in my black dress. FLASH! Him kneeling in front of me, gathering my hands in his. FLASH! "Bella," he whispered as his soft, broken eyes found mine, "I know you don't want to do this, but I think it's for the best... You're going to regret it if you don't go, I think." FLASH! Me sobbing, staring at my sweaty hands in his. My heart felt too heavy, too sad. Too broken. I felt so alone, but so happy he was there. But still so alone... FLASH! "E-Edward, I don't think I... that I c-can go," I stuttered through my tears that were dripping onto his hands. FLASH! Him rubbing my hands with his thumbs. "I'll be right there with you the entire time, okay? I won't leave your side, I promise." FLASH! "I know, but I can't say goodbye to him... I don't want to." FLASH! Edward scooping me up in his arms as he stood, allowing me to bury my face into his jacket. "I know, love... I know you don't." FLASH! Edward raising my face with his hands, his eyes finding my blurry ones. "We're going to make it through this. You're going to make it through this, Bella. So is your mom. I promise you, you will." FLASH! "I can't, Edward! I can't... I don't want to do this, please don't make me do this... please... please..." I gripped him tight, sobbing louder into his jacket. FLASH! I heard him sniffling as he buried his face into the top of my head, squeezing me tighter. FLASH! "I wish I could take this pain away from you Bella... I would do it in a heartbeat." FLASH!
I gasped, leaning over the bathroom counter as I began to cry full force, listening to Edward repeating the beginning of the song, before the words come into play.
He continued to strum, humming to himself as the sensitive melodies crashed over me.
FLASH! Edward gripping my hand as we stood in the grass, the family and friends behind us as we stared at the silver casket, listening to the song of his final wish, "Bridge Over Troubled Water" by Simon & Garfunkel. FLASH! The breaking of my heart as I listened to my mother sobbing loudly, and glanced to see Phil with his arms over shoulder, holding her for dear life. FLASH! The jealous, frightened, insecure, anger, confusion mixture I felt as I watched it be him, and not my dad. FLASH! Edward cradling me into his arms as we walked toward the closed casket to say our final goodbyes. FLASH! Edward rubbing my back as I leaned over to kiss the lid of the casket, hearing my mom break down again in the background. FLASH! All my family members coming up to me and saying their regards. FLASH! "He was such a good father to you, Bella, and he loved his job. He only did what was best." FLASH! "He couldn't have seen that coming, Bella. This is a small town. No one expects someone to react that way." FLASH! The whispers around me from gatherers. FLASH! "It was a bullet. The man, Arnold Right, shot him in the chest. Killed him instantly." FLASH! "Don't tell me to calm down!" my mom shouted at my aunt as she cried. "That was my husband! We may have gotten a divorce and moved on, but I still loved him! I told him time and time again to stop that job! I told him it was dangerous, that he could get hurt! And do you know what he told me? He said it was his job! He said he loved it, that he could keep Bella safe as a police officer. He said this was a safe town! And do you know what safe got him? Dead! DEAD! And now my daughter doesn't have a real father, since she lost hers two weeks before her eighteenth birthday!" FLASH!
My heart squeezed together, as my hand clasped on my heart, gripping my side of the ring in my fingers like it was a ticking bomb. I slid down the door.
FLASH! Me, standing by my Dad's favorite tree, outside at the backyard. I remember Charlie once telling me that he didn't care if lightning hit it ten years back... he called it 'beautiful broken'. I told Edward that when we were fifteen, and he thought it was cute. FLASH! "Bella?" Edward walking to me, his eyes soothing mine. "What are you doing out here? Are you all right?" FLASH! I nodded, giving him the strongest, hardest, half-smile I could force through my lips. "I just can't be there anymore. I can't listen to people talk about Charlie in the past tense. I can't ..." I gasped. "I can't l-listen to my mom reminding me how she wished none of this ever happened, because she couldn't take me not h-having a f-father," I was crying now as my hands reached out to him, begging him to hold me. FLASH! "I know, Angel," he replied, pulling me in his arms as he wrapped his arms around my waist. I tucked mine under his, wrapping mine around his as I looked up to him, crying silently, trying to find any kind of comfort in his eyes that could soothe me. FLASH! I wanted to tell him I loved him, so bad at that moment... but felt it wasn't the best time... though I knew he wanted to tell me too, I think. FLASH!
I staggered to the door, listening to the last intro as I slid down against it, onto the floor.
FLASH! Edward pulling me out on the back porch, as the rest of my family gave their apologies to my mom as they began to file out and say goodnight. FLASH! "I wrote this for you... the night we found out," he whispered, pulling his guitar onto his suited pants as he sat on the wood siding of the porch. FLASH! "I'm not really good with words with things like this, Bella... I know what I want to say to you right now... But I know that it's probably the last thing you want to hear, with all of this going on... so I hope this will be good enough, and you can read between the words... I wrote it when I thought about the pain you were in... and how I felt I was in it too, because I can't take it away... I was wondering if I could give you some type of sign of how much I care for you... " FLASH!
I heard Edward humming, and my heart all but stopped as his words came out... "Ohh... Ohhh... No, no, no..."
I cried heavily, clutching the ring tighter as I curled into fetal position. And his singing... And it crushed my soul into two halves.
His voice was beautiful. It was broken. And it hurt to listen to:
"She's standing by a ...broken tree... Her hands are all twisted... She pointed at me... I was damned by the light coming out of her eyes... She... spoke with a voice that... disrupted the sky, she said 'Come on over to the... bitter shade, I'll wrap you in my arms, and you'll know that you've been saved'... Let me sign... Let me sign..."
As he strummed along toward the end, it all smacked me in my face... let me sign... it meant, in this case, that he loved me, and that he was willing to drown in my pain with me, let it be damned, so I wouldn't have to go through it alone... Even then, when he couldn't say it... he knew he loved me... and that's what he wanted to tell me but felt it wasn't the best time at the end of Charlie's funeral.
I sat against the door, weak and sobbing silent tears, until I was all cried out. Then I pulled myself to my feet and splashed cold water on my face.
I knew what I had to do, and I needed to do it now. So I didn't care that I was in a towel, or crying earlier and now my face was red.
It was the right thing to do.
EdwardPOV
I played my guitar, thinking about my history with Bella... and today... and all the times we've had hardships.
I was so worried about her when Jasper said they'd gotten into an accident. My first instinct was to call her, and thankfully, he didn't seem upset. She kept saying on the phone that she was worried about me, that she didn't want me coming out there to help them because she couldn't deal with it if I got hurt too... She begged me to stay on the phone with her... and she never once mentioned Jasper.
My chest clutched as strummed the strings silently, shaking my head.
It sure has been one hell of a day.
I heard a knock coming from the bathroom door, and furrowed my brows.
"Come... in?" I said questionably, trying to figure out why someone would go through the bathroom.
Then Bella came out, her hair down and soaked, her face beautifully untouched, and wearing only a white towel.
I think my brain just exited the bedroom.
I couldn't breathe.
She sniffled as she walked over to me, an adorable smile on her face that matched mine.
"I'm sorry to bother you," she whispered as she stood in front of me. "Is it okay if I come in for a sec?"
I nodded, trying to gather some air into my lungs as I gripped the guitar tighter.
"I was listening to your playing while I was in... the tub... and it was beautiful, Edward... as always..."
I gave her a warm smile, wanting to reach out and grab her arm suddenly.
"...and," she continued to speak softly, "...I thought about Charlie's funeral... when you first played that song for me."
I swallowed hard, giving her a nod again.
She held out her hand to me and opened her palm, the chain linking from her index finger.
"...Let me sign," she whispered.
I stared at it for a few moments, dumbfounded. Then I took a breath of air as I rose to my feet, leaning the guitar beside the bed.
She didn't remove her eyes from me, just smiling.
"Where did you get that?" I shouted, my face excited. "I've torn this room up trying to find it!"
She tilted her head and licked her lips, her smile growing more beautiful by the second. "I found it in my bed the other night... I wonder how it got there..."
I steadied my breathing as I took her in my arms, giving her a big hug. "Thank you, thank you, thank you. I felt so naked without it, but didn't want to say anything to you, just in case... you know... Thank you so much, Bella!"
She giggled, hugging me back. She felt so warm, and smelled so good.
Like fresh strawberries and cinnamon, just as she always did.
I wanted so bad to bury my face in the crook of her neck, but refrained, not wanting to push our boundaries or my luck.
I placed her feet back on the ground, slowly pulling away so I didn't knock her towel off.
Then I reached out for the necklace, but she shook her head, looking at me in shock. "That's not how it works," she said. "I have to be the one to put it on you, remember? Those are the rules."
I gave her a smirk, leaning over toward her.
She placed the necklace over my head, adjusting it to fit my neck perfectly before sticking it inside my shirt, patting it against my chest. "On your heart, remember? ...I know that's where you kept it."
I smiled at her, so happy I had that back. I felt naked, walking around this house without it. I was so used to it being there.
We were silent for a few moments, the electricity bouncing between us like a basketball against the gym floor.
But then it felt too serious, and all I wanted to do was things I shouldn't, since she was taken and I was confused.
"You're so damn short," I joked, pushing her back a little to lighten the mood.
She giggled, pushing me back, "one of these days, I'm gonna chop your legs off. Then we'll see who's short."
"Guys! FOOD'S READY!" Rose and Emmett shouted in unison for us.
I gave her one last smile before we parted, and left her to get dressed while I galloped down the stairs.
We all gathered around the dining room table for once, drinking beer and eating steak, salad, and baked potatoes.
I watched as Bella and Jasper held hands on the table. They seemed content.
Then Emmett and Rosalie to my right, looking adorable...
Then Jacob and Tanya to my left, talking about their card games they were playing...
...And then to the seat beside me, where Alice sat, looking confused but giddy at the same time.
We all talked about the accident, the traffic jam, the paramedics, the people I helped out, and the man in the truck who helped us.
We talked about music, sports, movies...
We sat there for hours after our meals, just talking... And it felt nice to be able to have all eight of us in a room together, and not bickering for at least one night.
Of course it wasn't going to always be like this.
I'm sure tomorrow, someone's going to be fighting like cats and dogs...
Most likely Bella and myself... Knowing the both of us and our mood swings...
But as Bella looked up at me, just one time through her long, dark eyelashes, she and I smiled at the exact same second... slowly... as everyone gossiped to each other around us... but we locked eyes... and our smiles didn't leave.
And that was when I realized that I do still love her... especially after tonight.
And then I looked down to my empty beer bottle, realizing I was now fucked.
-AUTHOR'S NOTES-
So there we go, Chapter 05! Instead of addressing questions you've asked in reviews down here like I do for other stories, I will be placing them into the story... so make sure to keep an eye out for that!
Prewarning: Jealousy/Angst coming next chapter. They can't all be pretty.
Also, keep an eye out for teeny tiny cliff hangers through out the stories... I put one in here w/Jasper and Edward's conversation at the pool table.
ALSO! I realize & am well aware that some of the readers do NOT ship certain matches I've put in this story, aka Bella/Jasper and Edward/Alice... and others are okay one couple more than the other. Now I know WE are ALL EB shippers at heart and no one replaces them... but for the sake of this story, for dramatic effects until EB GET TOGETHER - hint hint - in your review...
I want to know which you would PREFER to happen if you HAD TO CHOOSE:
SEXUALLY: Bella & Jasper or Edward & Alice?
Again, I know some of you will say neither, but if you HAD TO CHOOSE ONE, let me know! I am curious to know if someone would prefer Bella/Jasper, who are in a current relationship, and that could strengthen it... or if they'd prefer Edward/Alice, who could maybe just shake it off and be friends after... if they work hard enough on it ... or create more confustion?
Reviews are better than my temptations of kicking Tanya out of the cabin. :D
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