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**Special Thanks to Katie [Kwizbit] for cheering me up just by being you. I'm glad you're feeling better. I adore you!
And To my Readers: Thank you for all your encouragement, and patience. * hug *

Chapter Eight: Things that you expect to happen never actually do... welcome to life. The reality of Bella's decisions come back to haunt her, and she tries to sort out why
she would ever allow herself to hurt Jasper like that. How is she gonna tell him? Meanwhile, Alice's decorating skills kick into full gear, as the group's friends
come pouring in for the New Year's Eve party coming soon!
Several POV's in this story.

~~~~~~~~~~GO TO MY PROFILE TO SEE ALL THE FRIENDS ADDED INTO THIS STORY!!~~~~~~~~~

Disclaimer: I own nothing that is Twilight or Stephenie Meyer related. But I think she's a genius for creating these two characters that I can play with!

If you just walked away... what could I really say?
...Would it matter anyway?
...Would it change how you feel?
I am the mess you chose. The closet you cannot close.
The devil in you, I suppose.
Because the wounds never heal.
But everything changes, if I could... turn back the years,
if you could... learn to forgive me,
than I could learn... to feel...

Staind, "Everything Changes"

Chapter Eight: Torn Feelings

BellaPOV

I woke up at four o'clock this morning, due to the immendable twists and erratic flips inside my stomach. I ran for the bathroom, full speed ahead, and barely made it to my knees before all my guilt came pouring out of me. It hit me hard and sharp and unexpectedly, and it burned fire.

My hands were trembling, my ribs were aching...

Tears poured from my eyes and I gripped the seat for dear life, begging for it to stop.

While I was heaving, thoughts flashed in my head. But they weren't of Edward, and they weren't of all my years with him or missing him when we split.

They were of Jasper.

All of them.

How I met Jasper in class on my first day as a freshman at school. How quickly we became not only friends but each other's complete support system at times.

I remembered when a girl tried to start a fight with me once. She didn't even know who I was, but word got around campus that I was sleeping with her boyfriend Andrew behind her back. She attacked me on the quad when I wasn't expecting it, and put me in a full body slam. And it wasn't the few girl friends I had made that in that first month that stood up for me. No, it was Jasper. He was the one that ran out of his class when he saw us fighting out the window, although he was in the middle of a pop quiz, and pulled her off of me while people booed him and cheered on for the fight. He held her away from me until campus security came down, and testified against her.

Jasper was the one who I called when I needed to bail on a lame date. He was the guy who went to the football and basketball games and begged me to tag along with him, even when he had a billion guy friends who were going. He snickered every time I unsuccessfully tried to refuse, saying that I was the only one he wanted to share those glorious moments with. Jasper was the man with the lap I found myself constantly sitting in because it was warm, or because I was crying over something that bothered me, or because I was lonely and wanted someone to hold me.

He was the guy who threw me over his shoulders at the Kenny Chesney concert when I couldn't see. I got the tickets last year for his birthday, and he begged me to go with him, though he had the choice of anyone. He was the one who I took home for Thanksgiving dinners to meet my mother and Phil. The one who allowed me to dress him up like Malibu Barbie during campus Halloween parties, the one who forced me to learn a semester of pottery with him so he could ask a girl out on a date, and the guy who let me cheat off of all his notes in class.

And he was one of my best friends in this entire world, and now my boyfriend.

And I cheated on him. With my ex-boyfriend, whom I spent hours, nights, weeks, months crying to him about. Saying I'd never get that close to anyone again, that way they couldn't hurt me.

And here I was, doing the hurting.

I was a miserable, disgusting, pathetic excuse for a friend, a girlfriend, and basically, at this moment, just a woman in general.

I didn't know the first thing about love, because if I did, I would have stuck with my decision to choose Jasper over Edward. There obviously had a reason I said yes to him! I would have never crawled into Edward's bed and begged him to make love to me, and I would have never broken Jasper's heart.

And the worst part is, he didn't even know it yet. How on earth could I face him and tell him? It's not like we were ten and I could write him a letter with a sad smiley face on it.

Oh God, what have I done?

I pushed myself away from the discredulate porcelain bowl and grabbed my sticky hair off my cheek, so I could lay my face down on the cold tile. Tears continued to stream down my face as I thought about all the times Jasper was there for me, all the looks, touches, hugs, and caresses he gave me of pure love... about all of his support and gratitude that I'd spend my time with him. Jasper was wildly popular at our school. He had tons of friends on all the sports teams, tons of friends on campus, tons of women flocking after him... yet it was me whom he desired to be with the most.

And there were a gazillion times I wanted to be with him too. Not only because he was attractive, kind-hearted, talented, focused, soulful, sweet, or any of those other things... It wasn't because he gave me constant attention and adoration.

It was because I loved him. Too. I did, and I knew it all along. Even still.

He had been that man in my life, for three years now. Almost the length that Edward was my boyfriend back in high school.

He was the man that waited patiently all this time for me to get my head together. He was the one who, after I said yes to being his girlfriend, had to pry me off of him because he didn't think I was ready to take it to that physical level yet. And he was the one who assured me I was worth the wait.

And I just did the unthinkable. I threw all of it away... All the trust, the years, the friendship, the love.

Gone.

Because of my stupid ex-boyfriend and my stupid love for him after all these pathetic, stupid years.

I laid there for hours, sobbing and heaving and aching... but no matter how much my body hurt because of the sickness, it was minor compared to the excruciating feeling inside my chest.

There was no way I could tell Jasper. There was no way I could leave him like this.

There was no way I could face him or lie to him either.

Did I pretend it didn't happen? Wouldn't that hurt Edward? What about me? Like I have any right to think about myself right now.

But what if this was all Edward wanted? Just the sex? The accomplishment that he was better than Jasper, and I'd choose him over anyone when I got that chance?

What if Edward wanted to own that final piece of our chapter? To put the last rusty nail in my coffin?

...Sure he said he loved me and was happy and didn't regret that night... and neither did I, necessarily.... but I do wish I would have thought it through more, instead of going out on a fleeting whim.

Because it all slapped me in the face, and no matter which direction or path or boat I chose to escape with, it wouldn't fix anything. It didn't take it away.

There'd still be three confused souls, three battered bodies, and three broken hearts.

Around eight o'clock, I was all cried out and motionless, stuck to the floor in a dried-up tear puddle.

The alarm blasted through the radio speakers in the bedroom.

Jasper always woke up around seven or eight, because he goes for a jog every morning. Which meant he'd be in here any second.

I flushed the toilet and pulled myself up off the floor, ignoring the fact that I felt as if I had been run over by a bulldozer.

Then I dragged my feet to the sink, avoiding my reflection as I rinsed out my mouth, brushed my teeth, and splashed water on my face.

There was a knock on the bedroom door and I croaked out that it was okay for him to come in.

He strolled inside, rubbing his eyes. I watched him in the mirror as he slid over to me and rubbed my back with his right hand, while he ran his free fingers through his twisted locks.

"Good morning sweetheart," he said, and that alone was enough to make me boil over the toilet again. I was anything but a sweetheart.

"Mornin'," I replied grudgingly.

"How long have you been in here?"

I took an unsteady breath as I turned off the faucet, "I wasn't feeling too well, so... awhile, to say the least."

After he turned on the shower, he walked back over to me and ran his warm hand along my stomach as he gave me a soothing expression. Anytime he touches me, he reflects emotion onto me. It's weird how he does it, but regardless of what state of mind I'm in, it always works. My stomach eased at his touch and I forced a bitter half-smile at him.

"Can I get you anything?"

I shook my head as I looked away from his eyes. They were too beautiful, too endearing... too loving. I didn't deserve to be in their presence.

My voice was barely a whisper when I replied, "No. Thank you."

He nodded, pulling his hand away and kissing the side of my head, "I'll be out in a sec."

"No rush," I replied as I didn't take my advice, hurrying out of the bathroom. I couldn't breathe in there. It was too much.

There was no way in hell I could hurt Jasper. I loved him too much, regardless if I deserve to love him.

I needed to talk to Edward about this.

JacobPOV

I fell asleep on the couch last night, which was a bad idea.

Not only was my back stiff as fuck and my head in desperate need of some extra-strength Tylenol, but the fact that the front doorbell kept ringing on repeat was annoying the fuck out of me.

I tried and tried to ignore it and roll over and sleep, but by about the eighteenth time, it became overbearing. I threw the the pillow off the couch and growled as I shot up.

I was about to kill the fucking UPS man.

Before I got to the door, Alice skidded in front of me and held up her hands, pushing me back, "No, no, I got it Jake!"

I growled at her and held my stance as she swung open the door. Ignoring the UPS man and the snow outside, I decided to focus on her ass. Why in the fuck she'd wear teeny yellow shorts, two tank tops, and fuzzy boots during the dead of winter, I had no idea. But my God, did she look sexy in it. I shook my head and turned to the left to walk away from that glorious sight before I plowed her into the snow, and froze again. The entire den was filled with boxes and packages. My jaw hit the ground as I stared at them.

After she shut the door and bounced around me, clearly in a better mood then she had been in the past few days.

"What the fuck is all this shit Alice?" I asked, holding my hands out.

"New Year's stuff!"

"Huh?" I scoffed at her, dumfounded. "What the hell are you talking about?"

"We're having a party," she replied as her tiny body started stacking boxes, "and I only have tonight to set it up. I've invited over some re-enforcements, old friends and such that come to the party. I realize that you didn't come last year or the year after, so you're not used to this routine. But everyone else is, so you'll adjust easy."

"Alice," I shook my head, still glancing at all the shit, "you are insane. This isn't a fucking high school prom, you know?"

"I know, but nothing cheers me up like a good party. And I'm an unstoppable force of nature, Jakey, so don't test me. I've already ordered everyone outfits," she stopped talking so she could squeeze my cheeks, "including you, and I put a lot of consideration into them, so no objections, okay?"

I stood there motionless as she continued to flail around the room. There was nothing I could think to say.

Emmett came in the room wearing gym shorts, a black shirt and snow boots, sticking a cigarette behind his ear as his smile grew, "Wow Alley-Cat, you've really outdone yourself this year. I don't get it. Only you can go shopping like this without hitting any actual stores."

"Ahh, gotta love the internet!"

"Mmhmm, so what did you buy me this year to wear?"

She bounced over to him, clapping her hands, "Oh my gosh! I think you're gonna love it! I really wanted you and Rosalie to look adorable together!"

"Yay!" he replied with his fake enthusiasm, "I cannot wait to look like the Bobsey twins!"

She slapped him playfully and he laughed, "Aww Al, you know I'm just playing. I trust you with clothes, but that's about it."

"Clothes are good enough for me!"

There was another knock on the door and I growled as I turned to get it. I was thinking of all the old UPS man jokes I could spit at him when I was done signing the package, but before I could get my sarcastic hump on, I froze instead. Because there was a fucking supermodel at the front door.

She had to be a supermodel... or something better... angelic, possibly? Oh my God in Heaven, I was in love. I never act like this around women, never lock up like this. Never fumble over words. But she was an exception.

I tilted my head, staring at her firm legs in those tight-ass jeans of hers. And what a fine exception she was.

She was wearing faded blue jeans with bleach stains on them, and holes on the knees, black pointed boots that I could barely see, a black tank top with a grey one over it, and a mini-furry black jacket. Her black, long hair was in thick waves, and she had the most gorgeous set of lips I had ever desired to lick. She had piercing blue eyes, as bright as the fucking sea... cheesy as that shit sounds, it was true. And apparently, my dick agreed with my brain on this one.

"Hi," the angel said as she continued to smile at me.

I took a few breaths before shaking myself internally together. I cleared my throat, "Hi."

"You must be Jacob," she replied as she tilted her head, causing my heart to flip in a circle.

I nodded, holding out my hand to shake it, "Yes. And you are?"

"I'm Bryan Dennings. I'm Alice's cousin."

I shook her hand, making a mental note to make Alice my best friend now. "It's a pleasure to meet you." Her hand was so soft; I couldn't help but quickly stroke the back of it with my thumb.

"It's wonderful to meet you too."

We smiled at each other, continuing to shake hands. She had such a warming, pleasant smile.

And a body that made me understand why God was indeed a man, and why He loved his job.

"Jacob!" Alice shouted, squeezing between us and knocking our hands away, "let her in! It's freezing out!"

I backed away quickly, mentally slapping myself. Duh, Jacob, it's like fucking three degrees outside!

She smiled as we shut the door, and Alice took her hand and dragged her away before I could even redeem myself.

Emmett chuckled as he walked over to me and slammed me hard on the back, "That girl is a firecracker. Bryan comes and visits all the time up in Seattle. Trust me... she knows how hot she is and she will play it up."

"I think I'm in love," I replied, staring at the empty doorway she passed through. "Her name is Bryan, like a man's, and it sounds like sex when it rolls off her tongue."

He snickered, lighting his cigarette and handing me one, "Yeah I know. Just wait till you see her in a bikini."

Her scent was all around us. I wanted to strip naked and run around in it.

Then his words sunk into my brain and I snapped my head so fast in his direction that I thought I was going to break my neck, "Bikini? For New Years?"

"Nooo," he answered as he led me to the kitchen, "Bryan and a few friends are staying here for a few days. Normal routine and all... I'm sure you'll see it."

"Oh thank God," I exhaled, covering my chest, "I've never reacted this way before... is she like a fucking model or something?"

"Yeah, she does Hustler, Maxim, and other shit like that."

My eyes all but popped out of my head, "No shit?"

He nodded, "Yeah, she loves it. That's what I meant when I called her a firecracker."

"God help me."

"And," he continued as he tossed me a box of cereal, "she's got a step-sister... Charlee. She's a model too, but she's aiming more toward the Hefner-Playboy market."

I dropped down into a barstool, shaking my head. "Are you fucking kidding me?"

"Nope," he laughed, shoving fruit loops in his mouth, "I'm not. She'll be over here in just a few minutes actually. I think she's riding with Dean Cullen, which is Edward's cousin, and maybe even Paul Bendson, which is another friend of Edward's... Let's just say that our friends run in groups too."

I smirked, shaking my head as I took another bite. "So Edward is friends with these models?"

"Yep."

"Wow. I think I should have hopped the friend-fence back in high school, maybe bettered my chances that way..."

He burst out laughing, rubbing the top of his head, "Yeah. And they're smart too, not just dumb idiots. That's why I like 'em, because they're cool as fuck."

"So... did Edward hook up with any of them?"

He smirked, shaking his head, "Like I'd ever tell you that dude. He's single too now. I'm sure that if he hadn't -- and I'm not saying that's a yes or a no, by the way -- but if he hasn't, then he just may work on that while they're here, if you know what I mean."

"Yeah, more competition."

"Ahh, you and Eddy are used to that by now, I'm sure."

"Yeah."

There was another knock on the door, and my stomach hit the ground.

"That's Charlee! Can you let her in, somebody?!" Alice shouted from the den.

And then I ran for the door like there was a bomb attached to my ass.

EdwardPOV

I heard giggles and felt my bed moving all around me. After a few minutes, more giggles surrounded me as my mattress got heavier. I furrowed my brows and rolled over, trying to adjust my eyes.

"Surprise!"

My eyes popped open to find Alice on her knees beside me, sitting next to Charlee and Bryan Dennings.

I gasped as I sat up, shaking my head.

"What the hell are you guys doing here?!" I shouted, overjoyed as all three of them pounced on me, knocking me back over.

"Edward you got so handsome!" Bryan giggled playfully as Charlee stroked my hair.

"And sexy!" Charlee added.

"And he's probably got a boner now too, thanks to us," Alice had to pipe in.

I rolled my eyes at her as I hugged them tight. "God, it has been awhile!"

"Yep! Twelve months!"

I smiled at Bryan, taking in her appearance, "You have grown some too. Look at your boobs!"

"I know, right!" Charlee replied, pushing her sister playfully, "I told her I needed to get mine done so we'd be even."

"Yeah but these are real," Bryan replied.

We laughed as their banter bounced back and forth, and I took in Alice's appearance. She seemed rejuvenated. Spunky. Sunshine again.

I winked at her and she winked back as she crawled off of my bed, "Well, I'm going to leave these two here with you. I'm sure you can handle it. Dean and Paul will be here in a little while, Edward. So will Jessica and Mike, and Angela and Ben. And I've also invited Makin Holt, which is Jasper's friend from school, and Colleen Sanders, which is Bella's friend that lives around here... and a few others... at least one person for each of us here. It's gonna be a busy day! Oh, and your dad called, so you need to call him back. He's at the office."

I nodded as she shut the door.

These two girls were always cheerful, they brightened my day.

I patted their legs. "Well, it's not everyday I wake up to two sexy supermodels."

They smiled as they sat Indian-style, waiting for me to wake up completely.

"So how have you been?" Charlee asked, stretching her arms in the air.

Her hair is always blonde or dark, and today it was dark. She wore a white tube-top and black jeans, matched with spiky heels. She looked good, as always.

I smiled at her as I crawled out of the covers, thankful I didn't sleep naked last night. "Good, actually. Much better lately. How about yourself?"

"Well, I just finished school, and I have an arranged meeting next month with Hef, for a possible calendar shoot."

"That's awesome!" I said, giving her a hug. "And the career?"

"Succeeded in getting my Criminal Justice major, so hopefully I'll be working for the U.S. Department of State."

I applauded her. She had sex appeal with intelligence. Quite the package.

"And you, Bryan?" I asked, turning my head in her direction and giving her a smile.

"Well, as you know from when I talked to you on the phone last week, I too finished school. So hopefully, if I get this resident internship like I'm wanting, I'll be a successful doctor!"

Bryan is like her sister, intelligent beyond her years. However, they are on completely separate career paths. Bryan models for magazines such as Hustler and Maxim, but uses that money she makes for school, and donates to various women's charities. She's compassionate and strong-minded. She took plenty of AP Math and Science classes throughout school, volunteered at health clinics and facilities... She wants to be a gynecologist. Her mother died due to ovarian cancer, and she's hoping to one day find a cure for that. Her father William is also a doctor, like my own, and when he married Charlee's mother, Annie, they have formed a strong family union to help the less-fortunate find cures for diseases. They're truly inspiring. And very pretty, both inside and out.

"What about you? Do you still want to be a OB/GYN?"

I smiled with a nod, "Yes, that is the plan."

Bryan squealed as she rolled over on her stomach, her pointed boots dangling in the air. "Aww, I think it's so sweet that you want to work with babies and deliveries all day..."

I smiled again as I pulled out my clothes for the day, "Thank you. It has been truly amazing. I love it."

"So you decided to go ahead and do that, instead of surgery, like Carlisle?" Charlee asked, clearly not informed with my plans.

"Yes. It's where my interests panned out."

"So, wait a minute!" Charlee shouted, her hands out in the air, "You both want to look at vaginas all day long? I mean, I realize that some are very beautiful, but come on... that's got to be a hit on the sex life."

I snickered as I crossed my arms, leaning against my dresser, "Not really. It doesn't make us perverted or disgusted. If I were a strict gynecologist -- no offense, Bry -- then yeah, I may feel a little queasy sometime, since... you know... some women don't..." I shook my head, feeling unnecessary to go into detail, "...but being an OB/GYN, it means that I have the education in both fields -- obstetrician and gynecology -- and can provide medical and surgical care to women. I have the experience of pregnancy, childbirth, and the reproductive system. Sure, I have to do stuff like preventative care and health screens, but I love the fact that I can have my own practice one day and really work to make these fields better. Healthier. It'll be good for me. Keep me busy."

She nodded, seeming fascinated by how excited I sounded. "What do you want to specialize in? Any specifics?"

"Well I can do anything from cancer, infertility, health maintenance, acute and chronic conditions, endocrinology... but I think for now I'll stick with deliveries. I love the idea of being that one reliable person who can help bring new life to their family."

She smiled at me. "Wow...That's awesome, Edward! So what all are you certified for? I know you were taking a break from medical school..."

"Yeah, I took a break for a few months, but I've already got a residency position accredited for, through the the American Council for Graduate Medical Education... Then I'll have to pass the examination, which is a granted board certified status in Obstetrics and Gynecology. It's a pre-requisite to subspecialty certification. After that, I plan to one day look more into Maternal and Fetal Medicine, Reproductive Endocrinology, or even Urogynecology and Reconstructive Pelvic Surgery..."

Bryan and Charlee smiled at each other.

Then Charlee's brows scrunched together. "Wait, what is Reproductive Endo...whatever that word is... or Urogynecology? What are those?"

I snickered, forgetting that she wouldn't have a clue what I was talking about, unlike her sister. "Well, Reproductive Endocrinology is the diagnosis and management of infertility in women, including pregnancy loss, surgery and preservation of the reproductive tract. While Urogynecology is the treatment of urinary incontinence in women, including the prolapse of bladder and reproductive organs."

"Oh," she replied, still not getting it.

I just shook my head and laughed.

"So who are you dating now?" Bryan changed the subject, like she does every time we talk.

"Um..." I pursed my lips, "it's sort of... a complicated situation at the moment. I've got a few things I'm working on. How about yourself?"

"No one in particular. But I did find a handsome, dark-haired hotty downstairs that caught my eye."

I furrowed my brows. "Who?"

"His name is Jacob."

I growled and tilted my head back, rubbing my face, "Please Bryan, don't go there. He's a douche bag. Plus, he's fucking my left-overs, probably as I speak."

"So?" she snickered, running her fingers through her hair. "You have good taste. I'd probably bang some of your left-overs too, if I, you know, had a penis."

We laughed as Charlee crawled off the bed. "So is Bella here? I haven't seen her in a few years."

My stomach flipped in a circle at the mere mention of her name. I was so excited to see her, to be able to introduce her as mine again. "Yeah, she's here. I'm sure you'll see her soon."

Bryan squealed and climbed off the bed too. "Oh I'm so excited! She's such a sweetheart; I still don't know why you fucked that up so long ago. I bet she got so hot, is she hot Edward?"

I nodded, taking a deep breath. "She's... words can't describe. I didn't think that it would be possible, for her to be this beautiful... It's almost angelic. Truthfully guys, it almost hurts to look at her. I don't know what I was thinking either."

"Well, you know what the wise man once said..." Bryan replied as she threw her arm over my shoulders, "true love doesn't die. It only rests for a little while."

"I told you that," I replied as I nudged her hip with mine, "in that poem I wrote for Bella back in school when we broke up, but never gave her. I made that up."

"I know! And it stuck with me. So get to it, soldier!"

"Yeah yeah," I replied as I pushed them out the door, "now get out and go make yourselves helpful. I'm sure Alice has plenty of boxes and streamers for you two to hang."

"Party pooper!"

I snickered and shut my door. I had stayed up most the night, praying Bella went ahead and told Jasper about us... But there was no noise. So I crashed around three-thirty in the morning.

And now, I was excited to get in the shower and go downstairs, so I could see her.

It had been a long night in an empty, cold bed.

I was hoping that it could all change in just a few hours.

EmmettPOV

Rosalie was a nervous wreck.

She was quite amusing to watch, as I stuck the ballpark pretzel in my mouth. These microwave things are the shit!

There was now about fifteen to twenty friends and a few cousins in this little den, and she was the only one freaking out because of a pixie. Alice was trying to reach a box on top of a high stack, so Jasper volunteered to let her stand on his shoulders. And while the rest of us had faith that, if the two-pound girl actually did fall, that Jasper would catch her... however, Rosalie all but went nuts.

"Oh gosh, oh gosh, oh gosh, please don't let her fall!"

"I'm fine Rosalie, really!" Alice tried to reassure her.

"Jasper don't you dare let her go! Don't move too much!"

"Jasper's got a good grip on my shoes," Alice mused.

"So what!" Rosalie shouted back at her, "What does that mean? If you fall backward and break your neck, at least your shoes are safe?!"

"Shoes are very important."

I snickered and threw my arm over her shoulders, pulling her into my side. "Alice will be fine, babe. No worries."

She crossed her arms over her chest, still looking uncomfortable. "Sure."

Once Alice found and dropped the box she was looking for, she told Jasper she was ready to come down. He nodded and slowly raised his arms up in the air, finding her hands. Then he pulled her down into his arms, like a bride. Her grin was big and goofy as she sat in his arms. And he smiled back at her, just as genuine.

I snickered.

She was too obvious.

Her beloved Edward had been replaced -- with Bella's new boyfriend.

Oh shit!

I burst out laughing and covered my face once everyone glanced over at me like I was a retard.

"Sorry, sorry. Rosalie was tickling me," I replied, ignoring Rosalie denying my claim as I walked into the kitchen.

Once I got there, I laughed louder. I couldn't help myself. This was too good! For as long as I can remember, Alice was in love with her best friend. It was completely obvious, to basically everyone but Edward... and most likely still is, for all I know.

So the thought of her replacing him for Jasper... well that just brightens up our little love-triangle-square thing.

God I love these people!

Edward came strolling in, wearing a dark denim jeans, a black t-shirt with a dark jacket over it. He had sunglasses on and his hair was styled, so I assumed he was either going outside or leaving somewhere. Tanya came over to him and interrupted his movement, to where he skidded to a stop before crashing into her. I snickered as I watched him slowly remove his sunglasses and talk with her. He nodded a few times, keeping the annoyed expression on his face as she rambled on. When she heightened the volume in her voice, he didn't even wince. He just continued to not, like he was completely unphased. Then she threw her hands on her hips and growled at him, to which he just shrugged.

Then she turned and stormed off.

He noticed me staring at him and gave me a nod, which I returned. After he spoke with Alice for a second, and then said hello to his cousin Dean and friend Paul, he walked over to me.

I snickered and slapped him on his back, "What the hell are you so dressed up for? Hot date?"

He shrugged, pulling his sunglasses back down, "Possibly. So I need to go get some cigarettes, I think Dean's gonna come. You wanna ride out?"

I took a glance over at Rosalie, who was lifting heavy boxes in high heels, and nodded, "Sure, why not?"

"Cool."

Dean strolled over to us and shook my hand. He's a cool cat. I've known him since I met Edward, when we were kids. He always flies in from New York to chill with us. He has a mixed personality between Edward and me, which goes for both of our favor at times. If I want to get Edward in trouble, sometimes Dean will oblige and help me. Other times, if it is something serious, he'll side with Edward. He's the middle man.

"How the fuck is it going?" I asked him, taking in his brown shirt and jeans. The dude is a preppy bitch but has got a mouth on him like a fucking sailor.

"Not too bad, glad to be here."

"Yeah, it's gonna be fun."

"Always is when I'm here," he replied.

I chuckled, "Dude, that's my line. You can't steal my shit."

"I invented that shit," he said, smacking me on my back. "So, I hear the blonde one is yours."

"Yep," I sighed, tilting my head as Rosalie bent over to pick up the next box, "she's fucking gorgeous, isn't she?"

"Yeah. Was she stoned when she agreed to be your girlfriend?"

"Dude. That's not cool."

He laughed, "I'm just busting your balls man. She's really cool though, I got a chance to talk with her when I arrived. She's fucking smart too. I wouldn't expect that with an ass like that."

"I know. She's got a mouth on her too though. She'll put you in your place. I think that's why I like her."

"Sounds like typical Emmett."

I nodded as Edward strolled back over to us, sticking a cigarette in his mouth and twirling the keys on his index finger.

Again, he was stopped, but this time by Jasper. It threw me off to see how quick his posture tensed up when Jasper stood in front of him. It didn't look as if he were saying anything negative to Edward, but when the cigarette fell from his lips and onto the carpet, I knew something had to be up. I watched as he turned into an ice sculpture and then shook his head, trying to regain his stance. He swallowed hard and forced a smile, before nodding once. Then, as he brushed past Jasper and headed toward us, he got this look on his face that said oh shit.

I could barely hold myself together until we climbed into his car.

"So what the fuck was that all about?" I asked as he was pulling out of the drive.

"He wanted me to pick him up some cigarettes and Bella some Starbucks coffee."

I crinkled my forehead, "and so that required an oh-fuck-me expression?"

He sighed, "It's a long fucking story."

"Well," I said, as I dug through my pockets and smirked at him and Dean, "we've got a little trip ahead of us, and some beautiful ganga here to share... Get to it, pretty boy."

He pulled onto the interstate, shaking his head and trying to wipe off that fucking smirk he has sometimes when he's done something bad.

"Oh please don't tell me you fucked Tanya again!" I shouted at him after I lit up the smoke. "Not after Jake!"

"No, tell him you did! Prove to Jake that you're better than that little piece of dick!" Dean laughed, pushing my face with the palm of his hand as he stole my master joint creation from my fingers.

Edward's shit-eating grin grew wider, and he covered his mouth with his hand as he continued to drive, "I'm in such deep fucking shit guys."

Dean took a hit and passed it over to him, and held his breath as he spoke, "What kind of shit? Good shit?"

"Did you fuck someone?" I asked, hoping to hear some gossip. I ripped the joint from Edward's fingers as soon as he took a hit, motioning for him to continue.

"Not quite."

"Holy shit!" I shouted, banging on the dashboard and turning down the radio, "I know who it was! It was Alice, you motherfucker! Wasn't it? I know it was!"

He snapped his head in my direction, his smile not leaving his face, "How do you get that?"

"Well, first of all," I replied as I took another hit and passed it on, "she's always been on your dick... all the way until around yesterday or so... And then I see her with Jasper, and wearing shorter shorts, and bouncing around the house... so all I can envision is you giving it to her, leaving her satisfied, and then you two moving on from it."

He rubbed his face to stop laughing as he floored it past a Semi. "Alice and I aren't having sex, Em. How many times do I have to tell you that?"

"Why not, I'd do her," Dean pitched in, with me nodding.

"So tell me this, Eddy. Remove those fucking shades, look me in the eye, and tell me you've never had your mouth, fingers, or dick over that lower part of hers, with or without clothes."

He turned his head to me and didn't say anything. He didn't remove his sunglasses either.

Dean and I burst out laughing and Edward just shook his head, pulling on his hair, "It happened just once, and we didn't do much. No sex was involved, I swear. Look guys, this isn't about Alice, okay?! I swear!"

We continued to laugh at him as we put out the joint and turned onto the highway again.

"This is why I should have gone alone," he mumbled in his scratchy voice, turning into the Wal-Mart parking lot.

We sprayed some cologne on and climbed out of the car, heading toward the store.

"Dude, you know I'm gonna keep bugging you about it until you dish, so just fucking do it and save me the words."

Edward glared at me as we passed the greeter in the store, "I don't know man. I am pretty fucking confused right now, and I am not really sure what the situation is at this moment, so it makes me more confused."

"Hmm," Dean said, "yeah that really doesn't tell us much."

Edward groaned, "I sort of... kissed Bella once."

I nodded, scratching my head, "Yeah that happens sometimes when you date people."

"No. Recently. Like, the night before last, perhaps...."

The three of us froze in the middle of the aisle.

"What?!" Dean and I said at the same time, causing Edward to wince.

"I know," he whispered, tugging his hair for a second as the words came fumbling out, "I know. It was wrong. But it happened now, and I had already realized that I am in love with her before it happened, so now it makes everything worse, and I just want to go home and see her so bad and I don't know if she's told Jasper yet, and I'm seriously on edge because all I want to do is grab her in my hands and squeeze her tight and vow to never fucking let her go again."

Dean laughed and backed away to put some thought in this, while I stood there frozen and dumbfounded.

"What do you mean," I began, raising my finger, "that you figured out that you're in love with her?"

He sighed, shoving his hands into his pocket. "I mean exactly that."

"No," I said, pushing him on his chest so he fell back a bit. "You're not in love with her. This is another one of your fucking challenges, dude. You just want her because she's taken, and she's in your fucking face, flaunting that shit around. You're not in love with her, you fucking idiot. You're in love with the idea of winning her over. Of the idea of proving to yourself that you could have her if you wanted her."

Edward shook his head. "I don't think so man. I think it's more than that."

I mimicked him, shaking mine back at him, "No dude. It's the chase. Trust me, I know you. It's the chase. If you're in love with Bella, it wouldn't have taken you four years to figure that shit out. You just want what you can't have, because right now, Bella is the only girl on the fucking planet that you can't have."

Edward groaned, throwing his head back. "I love her, Emmett. I always have. Come on, you know that. Why haven't I committed to anyone else if that wasn't the case?"

"Because you're Edward fucking Cullen, and enjoy the attention?"

"No, because you can't give your heart to someone else if that one other person all ready has it in their fucking hands, whether they broke it into pieces or not."

"No, Edward. No. Okay? You really need to think about what you're doing here. Okay? Jasper's a cool dude, and I think you know that. And I don't think he's going to up and willingly hand her over to you because you've had some sort of weird fucking epiphany. It doesn't work that way. And besides, you don't even know what Bella wants. Maybe she was drunk? Maybe she was bored? Maybe she wanted to kiss you, just to prove to herself that she found someone better than you -- or so she thinks. But the point is, it's just a chase... It's not love."

He sighed as Dean came back over to us.

"What am I gonna do?" he asked glumly, after a few minutes of silence.

"Nothing," Dean replied. "Just relax, let her come to you, and see how she reacts. There's no need in stressing over shit until it's worth it."

I waited until we finished our shopping and climbed back into the car before I asked my next question.

"So..." I began nonchalantly as we pulled in line at the Starbucks drive-thru, "all you did was kiss her though.... right?"

He swallowed, not turning to face me. "Yeah, pretty much."

BellaPOV

I avoided leaving the bedroom.

I wrote in my journal.

I read a book.

I skimmed through TV channels.

Nothing could hold my interest.

So then I changed my clothes about fourteen times.

I was a nauseated, confused, terrified nervous wreck.

I finally settled on a long, fitting, black t-shirt, some white jeans, and black boots. I fiddled with my hair and makeup for awhile, but nothing seemed to go how I wanted it to. So I gave up.

I was afraid to see Jasper, afraid to see Edward, and afraid everyone would see through me.

A knock on my bedroom door startled me. It wasn't Jasper, because he wouldn't knock.

And Edward most likely wouldn't come in here, afraid of Jasper figuring it out.

I ran over there, and slowly cracked it and peeked outside.

Then I exhaled.

I found my best girl friend from college, Colleen, and pulled her inside, slamming the door behind her.

"Oh my gosh, are you this happy to see me?" she giggled when I pulled her over to my bed.

"Coll, what to you so long? I am in big, big trouble!"

"What's the matter, Bella?"

"Okay so you know how I called you a few nights ago and told you I was dating Jasper now? Officially?"

"Yeah..."

"I cheated on him," I said quickly, before I could think about it.

She looked confused. "What do you mean, you cheated on him?"

I nodded, giving her my sad expression and swallowing hard. "With Edward. The night before last."

"Edward?!" she repeated, standing up with her mouth hanging open. "Bella! Oh my God!"

I covered my face and slumped to the floor, "I know! And I haven't told anyone else, because Rosalie wouldn't understand; his best friend Alice is in love with him, I think... and all the guys would just laugh or go tell everyone. I know it's bad, and now I don't know what I am going to do!"

"Okay..." She sat down Indian-style in front of me, gathering my hands in hers. "What do you mean by cheating, first of all?"

"I had sex with him. Mind blowing, life changing, never gonna be able to not think about it if I were with anyone else now, passionate physical complete sex."

She slumped over, in defeat. "Are you serious?"

"Yes," I replied cowardly, "and I haven't told Jasper."

"Do you have to tell Jasper?"

"Colleen!" I yelled, before lowering my voice and edging closer to her. "It's the right thing to do, wouldn't you say? Jasper doesn't deserve to be lied to!"

"I know it's the right thing to do, in theory... but Bella, Jazz has been crazy for you for three years. So when he realizes that after all this time, he was only able to keep you as his official girlfriend, for like what, three days? You're not only gonna break his heart, but you're going to crush it into so many pieces, that it won't be recognizable, or functional, for that matter."

I groaned, falling backward onto the carpet. "What am I gonna do, Colleen?"

She slid over and lay next to me. "Do you love him?"

"Who?"

"Edward."

"Yes," I sighed, closing my eyes. "Too much, or I would have never let this happen."

"Does he love you?"

"Mmhmm. I think so, from what he says."

"Does he love you as much as Jazz loves you?"

I covered my face, trying not to cry. "I don't know."

"Oh Bella, I'm sorry sweetie," she grabbed my hand as we turned our heads to face each other. "I don't know what to tell you, hun. I know it's hard, especially being shacked up in this cabin together. But I think you should talk to Edward, before you tell Jasper... Find out where his head's at, before you figure out what you're gonna do."

I listened to her words carefully, and then laid in silence for a few minutes.

"But..." I whispered, cringing at my own thoughts, "...what if Edward came to his senses, and only wanted sex after all?"

"Then... maybe you'll have to really think about it before you go making a decision. I mean, if it was only a one time, get it out of the way, it was a great night but it'll never happen again moment... then maybe it isn't worth ending your relationship with Jasper over."

"...I'm so scared, Colleen. Scared of losing both of them, of breaking everyone's heart, including my own. I don't want to ache like that anymore. It took so long to mend myself together over Edward, and as soon as I did, what do I do? I go and have sex with him. God, I am such a hypocrite. I'm a horrible, evil person."

"No you're not Bella. A lot of people cheat, for different reasons. You've just got to figure out your reason. Was it because you wanted to be with Edward, like, forever? Or did you want him so you could stop wondering what it'd be like? I mean, now that the moment is done... and you're starting to see clearer... Once that fog is lifted, can you honestly see you and Edward working out together? Thinking back at all the fights you guys have had and the hurtful things you've done to one another?"

I pursed my lips. "I'm not sure."

"Then you definitely need to talk to Edward."

I nodded, and we laid in silence for a few more minutes.

"So," she said nonchalantly, and I knew what was coming. "How was he?"

I snickered. "Amazing. Better than my fantasies ever led on."

"Really? Hmm... Did you guys just do it, or was there some fun foreplay involved?"

I giggled again. "A lot of foreplay actually. He's the best kisser too, Colleen... especially when his lips go all over your body."

She squealed, "Oh you are in big trouble then! Men that can do that like that... mmm mmm mmm."

I sighed. "I know."

JasperPOV

Helping Alice decorate the cabin for New Year's is almost signing up for a full time job. She never stops!

And as I've quickly learned, if Alice doesn't stop, we don't stop.

She's quicker than the speed of sound, and has the energy of a rechargeable battery.

It's a good thing she's light as air, since I've had to pick her up more times today than the total of weights I lifted last year.

She kept complimenting me on my outfit. I chose a simple yellow Hollister t-shirt, which conveniently seemed to match her shorts, and jeans.

I didn't see anything too big about it, but she seemed to like it.

And that made me smile.

Once I caught her this last time and sat her safely back to the ground, I figured it was time for a break.

"So Alice, do you think that we could stop for a second? Maybe go sit by the pool or something? Relax?"

She snickered. "Relax? What's that?"

I smiled at her, which she pleasantly returned.

"Okay fine, just give me one second. Let me hang this last black light, and we'll stop."

While she did, I put my favorite new CD in, by Snow Patrol. Everyone else stayed busy, including my friend Makin. I have no idea how Alice figured out who he was, how he was connected to me, or how she got him here... but she did. And I was grateful for her doing so. It felt good to have more people here. It wasn't so stuffy, and restricted.

Now only if Bella would get her booty down here. But she told Rosalie she would, as soon as that Lifetime movie was over.

Bella and the freakin' Lifetime channel. I'll never understand it.

Alice jumped over and grabbed my arm when she was done, "Are you ready?"

I handed her a glass of lemonade I made for her and gave her my best smile. "Sure. Let's go."

I followed her out to the pool, amazed at how it was decorated and glowing even more. The water bounced off the walls in multi colors, thanks to her making Jacob switch the light covers inside the water. I looked up at the windows on the ceiling, watching the snow fall. She sprayed fake snow down the poles, on the trees, even on some bench seats.

She loved to decorate, I could tell.

The song switched to "Open Your Eyes", one of my favorite tracks to play on the guitar.

We sat across from each other on the chairs, smiling and drinking the lemonade as the song blasted through the speakers.

"So, you really love the holidays, don't you Alice?"

She smiled wide with a big nod. "Yes."

I chuckled at her, "Wow, that was a quick answer."

"Well you didn't ask a hard question."

"I suppose I didn't."

It got quiet as we took another drink.

"So... I think you're really gonna like your outfit I picked out for you. I didn't go too fancy for it, since you're already a gorgeous man and everything."

I looked up at her and she blushed, biting her lip and looking down.

She made me smile. "Gorgeous?"

She giggled in embarrassment, shying away and looking at her knees. "Did I say that out loud?"

"I think you did," I replied with a nod.

"Well... you weren't supposed to hear it. So there."

I laughed, and noticed the sparkle in her eyes when she laughed with me.

"You have really pretty eyes," I admitted, smiling on the inside when she blushed again.

"...um, thanks." She still wouldn't look at me.

I tilted my head down to her, trying to get her to look up at me. "It was a compliment. You shouldn't look away."

"Well, I just..."

"What? You don't know how to take compliments well?"

"No, that's not it," she replied shyly. "It's just... I don't know how to take compliments from you."

I furrowed my eyebrows. "Why's this?"

She shrugged, still unable to look at me. "I guess you sort of intimidate me."

I never heard that before. "What do you mean?"

"I am not sure... I'm cool around you with other people in the room... but when we're alone, I kind of get... nervous."

"Hmm," I pondered on that statement. "Well you shouldn’t feel nervous around me. I don't feel that way with you."

She finally lifted her head. "No?"

I shook mine. "Not at all. And I normally am shy when I meet people, but with you, I can't really describe it. I'm always at ease. It's as simple as breathing."

She took a deep breath, thinking to herself.

She seemed puzzled.

And beautiful.

I shook my head, looking away from her. What the hell is going on here?

"So..." she said after a few more seconds. "Do you like blue?"

"As in the color?"

"Yes," she snickered.

"Yes, I love blue."

"Good, because that was the big color choice I put in your wardrobe for tomorrow night."

"Blue is my favorite color," I said softly.

"Then it will be perfect."

"I'm sure it will. I have faith in you."

She smiled at me, tilting her head. And I found it was so easy to get lost in her eyes.

Seriously, what is going on here?

"So um, w-what color is your, um, outfit?" I stammered.

She bit her lip and grinned. "It's blue."

Go figure.

I nodded at her as I ran my fingers through my hair. The song was starting to speed up my heartbeat.

It was getting more intense between us.

You could feel it in the air.

"Do you, um... would you like to dance with me?"

I looked up at her, and our eyes connected. "...Here?"

She nodded nervously. "You know, as like, a practice?"

"Um..."

The lyrics hit me at that moment, as we looked at each other in silence:

Take my hand, notch your fingers through mine, and we'll walk from this dark room, for the last time...

Every minute from this minute now, we can do what we like, anywhere. I want so much to open your eyes, because I need you to look into mine... Tell me that you'll open your eyes. ...Tell me that you'll open your eyes. ...Tell me that you'll open your eyes. ...Tell me that you'll open your eyes.

As the last line continued to repeat, I found myself standing up before I could even answer.

She watched as I held my hand out to her, and took it slowly. Her hand fit perfectly with mine, and it stopped my heart.

...Tell me that you'll open your eyes. ...Tell me that you'll open your eyes. ...Tell me that you'll open your eyes. ...Tell me that you'll open your eyes...

Once that line finished and the bass kicked in, I pulled her to the side of the pool and placed my hands gently on her hips. We kept our eyes focused onto each other as she ran her hands over my chest and locked them gently behind my neck. I could feel my heart pounding out of my chest, and as she slowly stepped closer to me, I could feel hers bouncing against my body too.

And then we were dancing freely.

Like a movie couple. Like a newly married couple. Like it was meant to be this way, as shitty as it sounded, considering I was with Bella.

...But at this moment, everything and everyone else seemed non-existent.

Her body moved in sync with mine as we held each other close. She placed her head on my shoulder and I held her carefully and tenderly.

I could feel both our sets of heartbeats as we somehow gripped tighter to each other.

She felt amazing against me.

And she smelled absolutely incredible.

I sighed, because I knew the song was about to be over, and it almost made me sad. I didn't want it to be, it was too soon.

Reluctantly I slid my hands up her arms and cradled her face between my palms, pulling her back so I could look her in the eye.

We stared at each other as the lyrics soared over us, without any beat behind it: ...Oh this feels strange and untrue, and I won't waste a minute ...without you...

And then the song stopped.

And we didn't move.

Our lips were parted and we were taking shallow breaths in through our mouths. I could feel her hands on my shoulders, gripping securely.

This was so weird.

Why would this be happening now?

Why did all of this make complete sense, yet no sense at all?

...Very strange and untrue, indeed.

I could hear Emmett and Jacob joking about the next mixed CD they were going to put in next, and it snapped us both out of our trance.

Alice cleared her throat and took a step back, her warm hands releasing from my body. "Um, thank you for the dance."

I nodded, as I slowly let my fingers slide down her face and leave her body.

"You're welcome," I whispered to her, unable to find my voice.

Dillema by Nelly came on next, and we took a few more steps backward, allowing the gap between us to grow. We could hear the people in the den shouting and laughing, and it sounded like Edward and Emmett were back.

"Well, I guess we should get back in," I said after another minute.

She nodded, crinkling her forehead, "Uh, yeah, I agree."

I gave her a silent nod in return.

I stood still as she turned and shuffled past me toward the door. But I couldn't let her just leave like that.

I needed to say something, anything.

Tell her how much fun I was having hanging out with her, or just anything! Speak, Jazz!

"Hey, Jasper?" she said, twisting and turning away from the door.

I exhaled, "Yes?"

"Um, so I know you're going to most likely be with Bella for New Year's, especially around midnight... but I was sort of, maybe wondering ...if you'd maybe want to dance with me again? Tomorrow night? Um...once?"

I smiled and placed my hands in my pocket. "I'd love to. We have a date."

She pulled in her bottom lip as her eyes twinkled. "Great."

Then she turned and was gone.

I inhaled and exhaled a large gust of wind.

We have a date?

What the fuck are you doing, Jasper?

I growled and shook it off, flinging my arms in the air. It's just a dance, it's just a dance.

You love Bella.

I really do. So I need to focus on that.

And I couldn't wait until I saw her.

EdwardPOV

"Paul!" I shouted as we entered the door. I ran to him and jumped in his arms playfully, and he wound his arms around me as I threw my legs around him.

Everyone laughed at us, but it didn't phase us.

We fell to the ground, pretending to sob.

"I missed you so much man!" he said as he stroked my hair with his large palm.

I curled out my bottom lip. "I missed you too baby, don't you ever leave me again!"

"Okay, that's too much gayness for me," Rosalie said with a laugh.

We picked ourselves up and gave each other a real hug this time.

"So how you been?" Paul asked me with a chuckle.

"I'm good, real good. How are you?"

"The best, as always!"

Emmett and Dean came over as we continued our conversation. It felt good to have some other friends around, took the animosity away from the groups that was beginning to form here in the cabin. Plus, it was just really nice to be able to not carry on all my conversations with Alice. Not that I minded talking with Alice, it's just some things are easier being mentioned around men.

I felt warm surround me and smiled. Bella was coming in the room.

I lifted my head over the circle of my friends, and saw her strolling down the steps with a girl I didn't recognize. Her outfit matched mine, and she looked so beautiful, she took my breath away.

Once she reached the bottom of the steps, she saw me looking at her.

I smiled wider and gave her a slight nod.

I watched as her lips started to form in a smile, then she said something to that girl and they quickly veered to the left and entered the kitchen, to where I couldn't see her anymore.

This confused me.

Did I just get dissed?

Oh shit.

This can't be good.

"Yo, E! Did you hear me?"

My head snapped over to Paul, and I raised my eyebrows, "What's that?"

"Dude, stop spacing. This shit is important."

"Sorry. What's up?"

"Are we gonna get some kegs, or just some cases of beer this year?"

"Well, I spoke with Carlisle, and he said he had it already covered. I think he ordered us some kegs, and some cases. Liquor and wine for the girls, and I'm not sure what else."

"That's why I love your dad, man. Is he coming out?"

I shrugged, "I invited him but he said he was pretty swept up in work. He'd try to make it here in about a week or so."

As they continued to talk, I found myself bending back, trying to see her through the shuffle of all the people in this mad-cabin.

I could see her friend sitting on the island, and Bella's arms flailing around as she talked, but couldn't see her body.

I frowned as my heart began to speed up.

Is she upset? Is she avoiding me?

Well, I guess there's only one way to find out. "Guys, I'm gonna go get us some beers. I'll be right back."

They nodded, and I felt my nerves kick in as I strolled through the sea of people, decorations, and boxes.

Her friend cleared her throat once she noticed me -- meaning she knows who I am -- and Bella stopped talking abruptly.

Shit. This was definitely bad.

I took a deep breath before I reached the tile, and gave Bella my warmest smile.

She smiled back, but it was an uncomfortable one.

"What's up?" I asked nonchalantly as I squeezed past Rosalie and Charlee, to get to the fridge.

She cleared her throat and fidgeted as she looked down. "Not much, how are you doing today?"

I pulled out some beers and turned around, leaning against the door. "I'm good. You look nice."

She bit her lip, continuing to avoid my gaze. "Thanks. Um, Colleen, this is Edward Cullen. Edward, this is my best friend from school, Colleen."

I smiled and slid over to her, holding out my hand. Colleen was a pretty girl, and seemed pretty sweet.

"It's a pleasure to meet you," I said as she shook it.

"It's nice to meet you too. I've heard a lot about you."

I nodded, giving her a crooked smile, "Yeah, it comes with the consequences of being her... boyfriend, once."

I ran my fingers through my hair, trying to avoid making a fool out of myself. "But I hope to, you know, prove that I am a good guy, and banish some of the negativity I'm sure you've heard."

She nodded, "Well, I'll remember to keep score from now on."

I smirked. The girl was funny.

Then I stole a glance to my left, to see Bella shaking her head and looking down at her hands, which she was messing with. She seemed so uncomfortable.

Was she regretting everything? Was I making her nervous? Uncomfortable?

I couldn't stop worrying.

I made sure Rosalie wasn't paying attention to us, and then walked around the counter, to stand in front of her. "Hey. Are you alright today?"

She took a deep breath, proving that she wasn't.

"We need to talk, I think..." she whispered too softly for anyone to hear.

"Okay. Now?"

"Yes. I'll meet you upstairs, on the balcony in your room, in two minutes. Grab a jacket."

I nodded, and gave Colleen a smile before walking away.

I was nervous as shit. A jacket would not be necessary.

I handed the beers to the guys and snuck away as they continued to gossip about Alice's decorations and things in their lives, and made a beeline for the steps. I waited outside on the balcony with my hands in my pockets, bouncing around. It was freezing outside; I could see my breath easily. But I was so freaked out that my body heat was way above normal.

It seemed like those two minutes took a fucking light-year.

Finally, she bashfully slid outside in a heavy jacket, looking down as she shut the door.

I smiled at her, but the one she returned wasn't warm. It was incredulous.

I pursed my lips together and waited, wanting her to speak first. Because if I did, I knew it wasn't going to come out right.

She took a few deep breaths, shivering in her jacket. "Edward, I can't do this."

My stomach dropped. Completely.

I didn't expect it to come out like that, if it were to come out at all.

"What do you mean?"

She sighed and shook her head, looking out instead of at me. "I can't hurt Jasper, Edward. It isn't right for me to tell him, if we're not certain about anything."

I scoffed, pulling out a cigarette.

This conversation went shitty quick. "Bella, you've already hurt Jasper. The moment you snuck into my bedroom naked and woke me up."

She glared at me before glancing away again, "I realize that. But it's wrong and I just can't... face him."

Now I was pissed, and confused. "What about everything that you and I shared?"

She bit her lip, still unable to meet my eyes, "It was wonderful. But it was just for the night, I think."

"How do you figure?"

"Well, I figure... I..." she shook her head, "I don't know what I figure. This is just all confusing and wrong, and I should have never cheated on Jasper, especially with you, the guy and the ex-boyfriend that broke my heart, which he's constantly tried to repair for me. You're the guy he's constantly trying to prove that he's better than... If... If I were to tell him that you and I had sex, it would be as if everything he's done for me didn't mean anything, and that's not true."

I didn't reply for a while.

I didn't know what to say.

I just watched as she shivered and bounced from foot to foot.

Then I found myself shaking. "So then... you're telling me that you're never going to tell him. That you're going to pretend that you and I didn't happen?"

"No, we did happen once, Edward... but it was just a very long time ago."

"So you just used me then, is that it?"

She closed her eyes and looked down, shaking her head. "I didn't say that."

"No I'm pretty sure that's what you just fucking said, Bella."

"I didn't mean it to come out like that."

"Well it doesn't matter how you wanted it to fucking come out. If you're telling me that you're going to fucking pretend it didn't happen, and go on your merry little way with your Abercrombie boyfriend, then yes, I'd say that you were just using me."

"Why are you making this into such a big deal?! My God, Edward! It was one night!"

I took a step back, feeling my blood about to boil over, "Are you fucking kidding me, Bella? How in the hell do you expect me to act?"

"Like you understand!"

"Well I don't fucking understand!"

"What don't you get?!"

I glared at her now, worse than I did four years ago. "How in the hell do you think it is okay to come into my bedroom, wake me up, throw yourself at me, make me give in to you, and then the next night you tell me that you don't regret what we shared and want to be with me basically... and then now tell me that you want to pretend it didn't happen?!"

She closed her eyes again, scrunching her face in frustration.

"So what was I to you then Bella? Someone you could use? Was I like, I don't know, a pity fuck? Something you wanted to just get out of the way so you didn't have to wonder about it anymore?"

"I cannot believe you just said that," she replied, finally glaring back at me.

My voice came out through my teeth as I maintained to keep my anger in check. "Well, then why don't you fucking tell me what you want me to say then Bella? Do you want me to say that I understand that you fucking used me? That it's okay, and I can just fucking pretend it didn't happen too?"

She didn't move, just continued to stare at me.

"I can't fucking do that."

She was quiet when she finally spoke up. "What do you want from me, Edward?"

God she was pissing me off. "Well, this morning when I woke up, I wanted nothing more than to pull you inside my arms, tell you how much I've missed you all this time, and give you a reassurance that you and I would be okay. But now... I don't know what I want. You're obviously taking yourself down an entire different path than I thought you were going to choose."

"Jasper has been that one man in my life for three years now! He's been incredible, and honest, and sweet, and tender, and loving! He's been my rock, Edward! One of my best friends! He's my boyfriend! I can't just hurt him! I can't just throw it all away!"

"You all ready did, Bella! Why don't you get that?! You already hurt him, the moment you begged me to be inside of you!"

She was in tears as she looked away, crossing her arms over her chest.

But I was beyond hurt at this moment and I couldn't stop. "But oh wait, what am I thinking? That didn't happen, right?! You didn't make love to me, you didn't fall asleep in my arms, and sure as shit didn't fucking tell me that you were going to go tell your boyfriend every fucking thing so we could try to work this out! And you also didn't fucking lead me on, right? Because I have to pretend it didn't fucking happen. That's what you want, right?"

She nodded slowly. "...I shouldn't have done it, Edward."

"Besides Jasper's feelings, give me one good fucking reason why not, Bella," I sneered at her.

"Because we didn't work out the last time. Because we don't know each other anymore. Because there was too much drama, and too much pain in the four years that we were apart, and we may not work out even if we tried to this again, and I'm not willing to..." her voice trailed off, but I got it.

"You're not willing to risk your happy little set-up you have so you could run back to your asshole ex-boyfriend, right? Just in case I fuck up your life again, right?"

Now she was back to not looking me in the eye. "I really wish I would have done this differently, Edward... I wouldn't have done it, actually. I never wanted to hurt you."

"Yeah, well it's too fucking late now, isn't it?"

"I'm sorry," she replied as she wiped away her tears. "I think it's for the best... for all of us."

All I could do is glare at her.

Stare her down.

Because I must be dreaming, if this shit was happening.

I felt like my heart had been thrown inside a blender with some rocks and knives.

This morning when I woke up, I wanted to find her immediately and tell her how much I was in love with her. How much she meant to me. How I couldn't wait until I could hold her in my arms again, and wake up beside her. That I'd be willing to fight Jasper for her, or anyone else who tried to get in our way.

That I was sorry and I'd dedicate my life to making up all the stupid things I did wrong in the past.

...And now, all I wanted to do was cuss her out, and shake her half to death, and make her realize what the hell she was doing to me.

Because she was breaking my heart all over again.

She continued to sob at the silent treatment I was giving her.

We didn't speak for a good five minutes, as I stood my ground, trembling with my chest aching, as I gave her death glances.

"I really do love y-"

"Don't you fucking say that," I cut her off, my voice shaking through my anger.

Her voice became weaker. "...It's true though."

"No it isn't. If it were true, we wouldn't be having this conversation. You wouldn't be picking him. You wouldn't be crying right now, and you damn sure wouldn't be breaking my heart into a million fucking pieces."

"I just don't see how it's going to work out between us... How people would accept us, like Rosalie and Jacob... It'd just create more problems for everyone."

Well that threw me off too. "Who the fuck cares what anyone else says? You sure as shit didn't think about all that before you woke me up, Bella!"

"I know and I'm sorry! I'm SORRY! I don't know what else I can say to you besides I'm sorry that I hurt you."

"You're not sorry, Bella! You're not sorry if you're choosing him! You're not sorry if you're using me."

"Fine. Then I'm not sorry," she replied sarcastically.

My heart stopped as reality settled in on me.

"So... you're saying that you don't want me?"

She took a deep breath. "...No. I don't. I-I can't."

I stormed over to her and willed her face to look at me, as my anger boiled over and came out full force. "Fuck you, Bella."

She looked shocked as her swollen eyes stared into my tense ones. "Edward, I know you're pissed at me, but it -"

"Just shut up," I spat at her. "I get it. By telling me all this shit, and making up all these God-dammed excuses about what other people think or about our past... by pretending it didn't happen, Bella, is just like telling me 'FUCK YOU', just not in so many words."

"I'm s-sorry," she cried out in a whisper.

I rounded my shoulders and took a step back, regaining my poker-faced composure.

If she wanted me to forget it, then it was forgotten.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry," she kept whispering as she sobbed.

"Sorry about what?" I replied icily. "Nothing happened, remember?"

She whimpered and turned toward the door, "Yeah... Nothing happened."

I nodded and opened the door for her.

She was waiting on me to say something, but I just glared at her, saying all I had to get out with my eyes.

I was beyond shook up and too broken to speak.

Taking my silence as a hint, she nodded and walked through the door.

I watched as she stepped out of the room, and then all the heaviness swam over me.

It hit me hard and cold.

And it burned.

And I was empty.

Because Bella just truly ripped my heart from my chest.

Worse than the first time.

Because when I was with her this time, I knew I was in love, and the feelings were much more intensified.

And now they were gone.

And I was slapped in my face.

I rubbed my eyes a few times, forcing myself to hold back the tears.

Then I decided to lash out on my anger when I couldn't hold it in anymore.

AlicePOV

We were all downstairs having a good time.

And I couldn't help but notice how close Jasper stood next to me.

And how warm my body felt when he was near.

And how easy the desire came over me when our arms brushed slightly.

His best friend Makin was adorable, and just as southern as he was. They both had adorable accents and blonde hair, but Makin's was straight.

They both had square jaws and beautiful eye lashes.

But Jasper's was much more delicate, and sexy.

I found myself staring at him more times than I should.

But Bella didn't seem to be around him much today, so I figured, hell, someone needs to stare at him. He deserves to be gawked at. Too beautiful to pass up!

Makin was telling me about an old fishing trip they took when they were kids, and how Jasper fell into the lake when he tried to save a fish, and we were laughing so hard that I was almost in tears as I watched Jasper's face turn red through his laughter.

Bella came running down the steps. Her face was red, and I thought she was angry and took a step away from Jasper just in case, but then noticed her storm over to her friend Colleen and they both flew to the den.

Okay, so she didn't even glance at Jasper. Odd.

With that note, I could hear something breaking from upstairs.

We all stopped talking as the smashes grew louder and I could hear Edward cussing.

Emmett, Paul, and Dean shoved through us to make their way to him, and I followed them, tracing their steps until we were in Edward's bedroom.

They swung open the door in just enough time to see Edward smashing his electric guitar onto the wall repeatedly, his face red and his eyes coal black.

They ran over to him while I shut the door behind me, making sure no one else could get in.

There were broken picture frames scattered around the room, pieces of wood everywhere.

The only thing that seemed untouched was his acoustic guitar.

Once the electric guitar was shredded, he started to work on the lamp on top of the dresser, but Emmett caught it as Dean pulled Edward away, cradling his arms around his chest and shoving him backward.

I had my hand over my mouth as I watched them have to literally pull him to the ground.

They kept telling him to calm down, calm down, but he just continued to curse and growl.

Paul jumped in and helped them, pinning him on his stomach.

Edward stopped talking once his head was held into the carpet, breathing heavily.

He looked so angry, and broken... Then I remembered Bella storming down the stairs...

Oh my gosh, did they get into a fight? Did he tell her how he felt about her, and she deny him?

I began to sob while I remained in shock as I watched him bury his face into the white carpet, not fighting against them any more.

One by one, the men slowly pulled themselves off of him, until he was lying on the floor motionless.

"Edward?" I asked as I slowly climbed to my knees and crawled over to him. "Are you okay?"

He shook his head, and I could hear him crying into the carpet. Oh my gosh, he was so hurt.

I glanced over at Emmett, who was rubbing his face, then Paul, who had his arms crossed uncomfortably, and then to Dean, who seemed as shocked as I did.

Then anger washed over me, and I wanted to go downstairs and kill Bella, for whatever she did to him.

I carefully began to rub Edward's back, and noticed the shirt was sticking to him, since his body heat was so overcharged.

"Edward?" I whispered again, scooting closer as I ran my fingers through the back of his hair.

After I made sure he wasn't going to flip out again, I slid closer and picked him up, laying his head onto my lap.

"Edward, what happened?"

"This is why I don't fucking let my guard down," he whispered shakily as he rubbed his eyes on my jeans. "You can't get hurt if you don't let your guard down."

I kept my voice gentle as I stroked his hair, "Edward did you and Bella get into an argument?"

He nodded.

"...Did you tell her how you feel?"

He nodded again.

"And it didn't go over well?"

He shook his head.

"Are you sure it wasn't just a little disagreement? Maybe she was just upset over something that s-"

"She doesn't want me, Alice." He wiped his face after he turned it, staring out the glass door to his balcony. "She made that clear today."

"Maybe she'll change her mind once she processes things?"

"We slept together, Alice."

My stomach flipped as my heart steadied. "What?"

"Yeah. The other night. ...She cheated on Jasper with me."

"Edward, why would you do that?"

"I didn't start it, Alice. I swear... And I didn't push it, or anything else... It was all her... and once I realized that it was what she wanted, and realized that she wanted to be with me... I caved in. Because I loved her... and now she basically told me to pretend it didn't happen, because she was choosing Jasper. She doesn't want me."

I was shocked. I didn't know what to say.

I watched as Emmett kneeled on the other side of Edward, rubbing his back, "Man, I'm sorry. I didn't know you two slept together; I just thought it was a kiss..."

"I wanted to respect her, Emmett."

"Yeah, I understand."

Emmett frowned at me, and I shook my head at him. I wanted to kill Bella.

Severely.

Not only did she fuck with my best friend, which was the biggest no-no in my book, but she also cheated on one of the greatest men on this fucking planet.

After a few minutes of us all being quiet and comforting him, he slowly sat up.

He rubbed his face, shaking his head. "I'm so stupid. Crying like a little fucking baby and shit."

"Edward, it's hard. We get it," Dean said.

"Yeah man. She broke your heart," Paul concluded.

"Yeah and she's a fucking bitch," I sneered out.

"Alice," Emmett warned.

"Well I'm sorry, but she is. This is wrong, on too many levels. All she wanted to do was point fingers at him, blame him for shit that she did too, and he hasn't done jack shit to hurt her in years. She wanted to dwell on the past and point fingers... Never date anyone that reminded her of him... and then we get here, and it all changes. He realizes he loves her, and tells her. And when he lets his guard down, she goes and does this?! You've got to be fucking kidding me. She's the worst kind of person right now."

Edward tugged on his copper hair, looking over at his busted guitar. "Well, it's over now."

We all sat silent for a few minutes, not sure where to go from here.

Edward slowly stood to his feet, and then began to pick up the guitar. We all followed his lead, picking up the scraps of wood pieces and strings and picture frames.

He didn't speak another word.

Neither did we.

JasperPOV

Makin was cracking me up when he continued to tell Alice my childhood stories. I don't know why it embarrassed me so much to have her know, but it did.

And I didn't like it.

After she left suddenly, we continued to discuss things in our past, laughing as we downed some Coors Light.

It felt good to have my best buddy with me.

I watched as Bella and Colleen talked in the den, and caught a glance at her face, noticing that she looked upset.

I cleared my throat and excused myself from the conversation, giving Jacob a nod before walking over toward the girls.

"Hey," I said as I slowly sat down beside her on the leather couch.

Colleen straightened her back up as she sat on the coffee table across from us, and smiled at me, leaning over to rub my knee.

I heard Bella whimper as she tried to cover the fact that she had been crying, by turning to wipe her face on her sleeve.

I glanced back over at Colleen, and mouthed Is she okay? to her.

She shrugged with a frown.

Oh shit.

"Baby?" I whispered as I rubbed her back. "Are you okay?"

She nodded, placing her elbows on her knees and cradling her face in her hands.

"I just have a headache," she replied through a sob.

It definitely seemed like more than a headache.

"Well, I'm sure being down here with all the loud people and loud music isn't helping you then."

She wiped her face before looking up at Colleen weakly.

"Come on sweetheart," I sad as I handed Colleen my beer bottle.

I scooped my hand under Bella's body and lifted her off the couch and in my arms. "Let's go upstairs, get you away from the crowd for a minute."

She shook her head and began crying heavier as she buried her face in my shoulder.

Colleen followed me through the crowd and up the stairs, and I noticed Makin trailing behind too.

I opened the door and gently laid her on the bed, climbing up beside her as Colleen put my beer on the nightstand and her and Makin went over to the other side of the long bedroom, out of hearing range.

I moved her hair off of her sticky face, and she began to cry again.

I tried to scoot closer to her and pull her into my body, but that made her crying worse.

It seemed like anytime I touched her, it made her tears come out harder.

"Shhh," I whispered as I placed my mouth to the side of her head, "shhh, angel. I've got you."

She cried heavier, gripping my shirt in her hands.

"Jasper," she said, squeezing me tighter, "I love you. Please know that I love you."

I became confused as I nodded, giving her my strongest hug. "I know you do Bella. I love you too."

Again, that made it worse.

What was going on?

"Tell me what's the matter, baby. Let me make it better."

She shook her head as her left hand clung to my shirt and her right hand tangled in my hair. "You can't."

"Of course I can. It's what I do," I tried to joke.

It didn't work.

"I just want to forget about it, forget all about it and everything else but you... Because you are what's important."

"Okay..." I replied hesitantly, leaning over her and throwing the cover over our bodies.

I let her sob and cry it all out, which took a good ten minutes or so.

By this time, Colleen and Makin left the room.

And it became awkwardly silent.

But she never released her grip on my shirt.

And she never pulled away.

I kissed her head over and over, trying to pour out all the love I had for her.

Prove to her that I was there for her.

"I don't deserve you," she whispered.

I pulled my face back, wiping under her swollen eyes. "Yes you do."

"No, I don't."

She seemed so matter-of-fact-like.

I didn't like it.

"Bella, you do deserve me. We have a wonderful thing here. All I want to do is make you happy."

She closed her eyes as her chin began to quiver, and I'm sure she was about to cry again, if her eyes weren't dried out completely.

"I just love you so much," she whispered. "You're too good for me and I hate everything I've done."

"No I'm not," I replied softly. "Don't ever think that, Bella. If anything... you're too good for me."

She shook her head.

I frowned at her before pressing my lips to her warm forehead. "You're so silly, Bella."

"I can't tell you anything, but I wish I could, so you could tell me you forgave me for being so fucking stupid."

I nodded, inhaling her strawberry scent as I pulled her closer to me, under the covers. "Okay. Then I forgive you."

"...You can't."

"I just did."

"But you don't even know why you'd be forgiving me, and if you did, then you most definitely wouldn't be sayin-"

I cut her off by gently covering her mouth with my hand. "Bella. I forgive you. I don't care what you did, or what you said, or anything else... It's just you and me now, and that's all I care about, okay?"

She closed her eyes and I could hear her swallow hard.

"Okay?" I pushed again.

"Yes," she barely let out.

"Okay. Now come here and hug me."

Her weak body climbed over me as I rolled on my back, lifting her over my body so I could hold her tight.

She shivered as I squeezed her tight.

But I wasn't about to let her go. Not until she learned that I wasn't kidding.

That I was going to be here for her.

And I wanted to make her happy.

After about a half hour, she finally relaxed, placing her head on my shoulder as she ran her finger along my shirt.

We didn't have to speak.

It felt good just being around each other.

And I felt reassured then that she didn't want to be with Edward, because by the way she was acting, she only wanted to be with me.

So all my insecurities about the wreck and the two of them bonding over my allowance went out the window.

She really did choose me.

----AUTHOR'S NOTES----

-- Oh Jasper, you poor little oblivious soul. :(
-- And poor Edward, he was having such a wonderful day. :(

So there we go, Chapter 08! Instead of addressing questions you've asked in reviews down here like I do for other stories, I will be placing them into the story... so make sure to keep an eye out for that!

-- So there we go! I hope you've continued to enjoy the twists.

Reviews are better than a slow practice dance between Jasper and Alice. :D