A/N: Well, here’s just a little something silly. I had this idea playing in my head for a while—another one of those ideas where the last line comes before anything else—so I decided to give it a go. I’ve never written Wallace before, but he’s a pretty cool character…(ah, for future reference, a "gorget" is apparently neck armor. I did me some research.). Let’s see what happens!

What A Day

The day dawned, sunny and clear. The birds were singing…pots and pans were clanging together as somebody—hopefully Lowen—prepared breakfast…

Ah, yes, and Wallace’s tent had fallen down earlier that night, so he awoke to a suffocating darkness and a whole lot of musty canvas.

After flailing around for a long while and eventually clawing his way out, Wallace climbed to his feet to survey the cheerful morning. He certainly was not feeling cheerful—waking up to a fallen tent was never a fun experience, and in his efforts to get out, he had ripped a giant hole clean through the blasted thing. He grumpily rummaged through the ripped cloth to find his armor for the day.

“Are you having some trouble, Lord Wallace?” a soft voice asked from behind him.

Wallace whirled around to find Kent approaching him, and gave a slight growl of frustration. “No, lad, I’m having the time of my life! And how are you, this fine morning?”

“I…” Kent froze for a moment before quickly regaining his bearings. “Actually, sir, I slept quite well. I’m feeling…relaxed, today.”

Wallace felt his eyes widen. “Relaxed? You?”

“Yes,” Kent retorted, rather stiffly. “Everything is in order…Sain is still asleep, so I have no one to chase after…the wounds that Lady Lyndis obtained during the last battle have healed completely…”

“And you’re relaxed!” Wallace straightened up and slapped Kent good-naturedly on the back. The younger man stumbled a bit. “Well, son, that’s excellent news! I’ve always figured that you should relax more often!”

He slapped Kent again, harder, and the red knight fell face-first into the ground.

“Er…yes, thank you, sir,” Kent mumbled as he pulled himself back up with a wince. Wallace found himself laughing as he salvaged his armor from the wreckage of the tent and stomped off to breakfast.

xOxOxOx

The dishes sat, abandoned and empty. Lowen had already delved into his secret supply of mouth-watering spices…fresh meat, obtained from the last village they had seen, had already been cooking on the fire…

Ah, yes, and Wallace hadn’t gotten any of it.

Due to the incident with his tent, and his trouble finding his armor, he had arrived at the cooking fire to find that all of the breakfast had already been devoured.

“WHAT?” he roared to Lowen, who fumbled with the plate he was cleaning in a bucket of sudsy water. “Pathetic knight of Pherae—cower before Caelin’s might and MAKE ME A SANDWICH!”

“B-but Sir Wallace, there’s nothing left!” Lowen insisted. “We have to save some rations for lunch and dinner!”

Wallace was very, very unhappy with this news, but he realized that what the haircut-deprived knight had said made a lot of sense. It wouldn’t do for Caelin’s best, a man sworn to protect the citizenry, to go snapping up food that could have fortified the rest of the army. He seated himself on a nearby log with a heavy sigh, his stomach already growling.

That’s when he heard a set of quiet footsteps sneaking behind him.

Wallace reached out and grabbed the culprit by the collar, looking up into Wil’s nervous face. “AHA! Thought you could sneak your way out of training today, did you, boy?”

“N-no, Sir Wallace!” Wil insisted, and his mouth instantly stretched into his familiarly eager smile. “I mean…well, yes, but—“

“That’s another five miles of running for you and your cowardice!” bellowed Wallace. “A true knight of Caelin would never flee from his training!”

“Oh, Sir Wallace, I’ll do whatever running I need to!” Wil insisted, his eyes shining. “However far, however fast, I’ll do it! I think I can do it, today!”

Wallace let go of Wil’s collar and raised an eyebrow suspiciously. The young man was rubbing his throat, but was still grinning like an idiot. “Well, well…‘however far, however fast’? What caused this sudden change in mood, Wil?”

“I believe I can do anything, sir,” the archer replied breathlessly. “I’ve already succeeded in all that matters—“

“All that matters?” Wallace was now completely confused. “What in the world is going on, lad?”

“It’s Rebecca, sir, Rebecca!” Wil did a little hop on the spot, like a child that couldn’t contain his glee. “Sh-she’s…she’s agreed to go back to Pherae with me, when this is all over! And she’ll let me court her! And then we’ll get married and have children and they’ll all grow up to be brave knights and—“

“Woah, woah, boy!” Wallace grabbed Wil's boot to keep the overly-cheerful man pinned to the ground. “Are you serious? She let you court her?”

“Well,” Wil admitted, “First she kicked me in the stomach and ran off. But then I recovered and chased after her and explained everything—oh, Sir Wallace, I never would have caught up to her if it hadn’t been for your training!” He grabbed Wallace’s hand and clasped it tightly. “Thank you so much, sir! I owe you everything!”

Wallace’s reply that Wil actually owed him five extra miles was cut off as Matthew came sprinting through the sea of tents, hollering to Lord Hector that he had spotted a band of enemy soldiers and expected several more.

“Well,” said Wallace gruffly, “You’d better get out there to protect your woman!”

Wil’s grin stretched wider and he was gone in a flash. Wallace laughed as he hoisted himself to his feet and trundled off to retrieve his weapons, all hunger forgotten.

xOxOxOx

The battle raged, heated and wild. Battle cries were sounding…the smell of blood pervaded the air…

Ah, yes, and Wallace had been stabbed at least forty-seven times and had forgotten his vulnerary.

“GRAAARRR!”

With a mighty battle cry, Wallace thrust his favorite silver lance into his latest opponent’s middle. That lance was the finest he had ever come across, the most expensive he had ever held, the most powerful he had ever wielded. It had saved him from countless sticky situations and had proved his prowess multiple times, causing enemies to run screaming in fear like headless chickens (or fall to the ground like dead humans. Which they were.). That lance was his truest friend, his bravest companion, and…

And it had snapped in half, leaving one half embedded in the defeated myrmidon and one clutched in Wallace’s disbelieving grip.

He stared in dismay at the warped silver in his hand. That lance had been his best weapon. Perfect—he was wounded, had no vulnerary, and now had no decent weapon. He began to mull over what he should do…

Suddenly, from a few yards away, little Rebecca let out a whoop of joy as she rushed to the body of a fallen archer, Wil hurrying close behind.

“Alright!” Rebecca cried, holding the slain enemy’s weapon up high—a wickedly pointed bow.

“What is it?” asked Wil eagerly.

Rebecca grinned. “It’s a killer bow! Hey, look! SIR WALLACE! I GOT A KILLER BOW! Hooray!”

Her little face was lit in absolute joy as she swung her new weapon around. Wallace laughed and waved at her, completely forgetting about his own ruined weapon.

xOxOxOx

The thunderstorm began, dark and ominous. Flashes of lightning pierced the sky…rain pelted down like freezing hellfire…

Ah, yes, and Wallace was completely lost.

He had gotten a bit turned-around during the heat of the battle, and had ended up very far away from his allies by the time the enemy had retreated. He could not see any familiar faces, other than the dead ones of the enemies he had slain, and he had no idea which direction camp was in.

However, since Wallace knew that he possessed an excellent sense of direction, he began walking, sure that he would be able to find his way. After spending hours slogging through the soggy ground in his armor, wandering up and down a mountain or two, stumbling upon a nest of bandits hidden in a cave and completely decimating all of them, and fighting through a forest, he decided that he was no longer lost. Just because he didn’t know where he was going didn’t mean that he wasn’t going in the right direction, after all.

Eventually he wound back up at the flat and muddy battlefield, and regained his bearings enough to remember where the army would be camped out. He set out towards his destination with relief. The rain was still driving hard, slipping down his gorget and running down his neck. He wasn’t extremely fond of that. He also wasn’t fond of the fact that he was hungry again. But he couldn’t give up…he was almost there…almost to camp…

He struggled through the mud, his squelching drowning out even the loudest of thunderclaps. Perhaps he should have been worried about the fact that he was the tallest object…in the middle of a field…during a thunderstorm…encased in metal…but he didn’t. He was still too happy thinking about stalwart Kent waking up in a good mood, or cheerful Wil actually getting himself a woman, or sweet Rebecca finding such a wonderful bow—

Then a sudden bolt of lightning split the sky and zapped Wallace good.

“YEEARRRG!” he yelled as a jolt ran through him, setting every nerve stinging. He was sure that the top of his head was smoking when the pain subsided. He glanced around angrily, thinking of a good way to get revenge on the sky for such a cowardly blow—perhaps he could find a way to knock that bitter cobra woman out of her wyvern’s saddle and ride the blasted thing up to the heavens…

“I did it!” a tiny voice cried breathlessly. “Erk, Erk, look, I did it!”

“Er, yes, Nino,” came the distracted voice of Erk. “That was quite a good job. However…I think you hit Sir Wallace…”

Wallace turned to his left to find two munchkins knee-deep in mud, staring at him nervously. The little green-haired one clutched a book in her tiny hands, and Wallace saw all of the joy leave her wide eyes.

“Oh, Sir Wallace!” she cried. “I didn’t know…I’m so sorry, that was my first time ever hitting a moving target! Are you hurt?”

Hurt? When such a little thing had been celebrating an improvement of her skill? Nonsense!

“Not at all, little Nino!” Wallace laughed. “Lightning couldn’t hurt a knight of Caelin!”

Erk rolled his eyes, but Wallace’s assurances made Nino’s eyes light back up again.

“Erk,” she cried gleefully, “I did it! I didn’t think I could, but I did!”

She threw her arms around Erk’s waist, nearly knocking the older mage over in the process, but the studious boy actually smiled. “Yes, Nino, you did. I’ll have to study quite hard to stay ahead of you.”

Nino was busy snuggling Erk within an inch of his life, a smile of absolute glee on her face, so Wallace ignored his electric burns and continued on towards camp with a big grin of his own.

xOxOxOx

The camp was looming. Tents were sagging beneath the weight of the rain…people were taking cover beneath the nearby trees…

Ah, yes, and Wallace’s tent was still collapsed over there somewhere, which meant that all of his belongings were doubtlessly soaked through. The knight heaved a huge, hopeless sigh and made for the dry shade of the trees—what else could possibly go wrong?

It was there that he came upon the strangest sight on the world—Lady Madelyn, talking to Pherae’s Lord Elbert…oh, wait, that was his little Lady Lyndis talking to Lord Eliwood.

“Etiquette lessons?” the redheaded man was saying. “Er, Lyndis, I don’t know very much about how women behave in society--”

“Well, who else am I going to ask?” Lyn interrupted impatiently. “Hector? Please, Eliwood…”

Pherae’s lord smiled fondly. “Alright, alright, Lyndis. I’ll tell you what little I know, if you think it will help.”

“Thank you, my friend, I—oh! Wallace!”

The princess of Caelin had finally turned to see him, and her usual smile fell from her lips as she took in his state—drenched, muddy, haggard, and charred. She pointed at him, her fair face concerned, and opened her mouth—

“The first lesson is that it’s not polite to point, Lyndis,” said Eliwood, gently placing his hand over her own and lowering it back to her side.

Lyn shot the lord an irritated glance, but then took a deep breath and turned to Wallace with her familiar, fiery determination burning in her forest-green eyes. “Er…umm…how was your day, Sir Wallace?”

She looked to Eliwood for reassurance, and he smiled approvingly at her cordial tone. Wallace stared at her for a long moment.

“…You want to know how my day was?”

“Yes,” she told him with a brave smile.

“You really want to know?”

“…Yes?”

“Well.” Wallace folded his arms and fixed her with a hard glare before grinning, throwing up his arms, and declaring, “It was the best…day…EVER!”

He clanked off with a cheerful “Gwa ha ha!”, leaving behind two very baffled nobles.

A/N: Wallace has always seemed very selfless to me, even if he IS completely full of himself. I wish there had been more room for Vaida in this fic, since she and Wallace have the funniest of all his supports xD…actually he and Renault have cool ones, too (“Called me a girl.” “…Sorry, that’s a little hard to imagine.”). Well, drop a review, if you feel so inclined, and let me know how I did!