|Snowed in Trust
Author: bandanaye PM
Trying to figure a way out of his past, Yugi runs into Atemu one night when he wants to be by himself. Will Atemu be able to figure out what is wrong and help the other? YYxYRated: Fiction M - English - Romance/Angst - Atem & Yūgi M. - Chapters: 4 - Words: 8,372 - Reviews: 51 - Favs: 42 - Follows: 25 - Updated: 01-22-09 - Published: 01-04-09 - Status: Complete - id: 4769242
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
A/N: Thanks to everyone who has read and commented!
Warning: Adult Situations
Disclaimer: I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh!
Yugi quickly blew out the fire on the fast burning match before his fingers were caught in the tiny flames. He stood back, gazing at the now lit candle, wishing that he had more than just four.
Four candles wouldn't bring enough heat to the ever growing cold apartment.
He walked back to the couch, wrapping himself in the two blankets he had left. He had given his third one to Atemu, who was on the other side like before, and the last one in the closet down the hall.
Keeping quiet for now, Yugi pulled his knees to his chest, hoping to gain more warmth from it. He stared out the slowly fogging window as the snow seemingly kept coming down heavier and heavier.
'I'm going to catch a cold!' Yugi inwardly wailed as his nose started to chill a little. Looking across the sofa to see how Atemu was holding out, Yugi blushed when his and Atemu's eyes met.
Why was he staring at him? Yugi was suddenly thankful for the lack of lighting as he knew his blush was dark and would be hard to push down. Yugi bit his lip lightly, trying to get some of the free fluttering emotions in his stomach to settle down as he realized how...how...attractive the other looked.
Although Atemu was cradled in blankets, he still seemed rather defiant and dare Yugi say it...sexy. 'Don't think that way! He would never return such feelings, no matter how comfortable you're both around each other,' he mentally scolded himself, forcing his head to turn to stare at a flickering candle a couple feet away.
Little talk happened between the two students for another hour or so. Neither one seemed to notice the time pass as tiny conversations were picked up and then dropped time to time. Neither one seemed to even notice the growing cold as the conversations started to last a little longer each time.
Atemu unconsciously inched closer and closer towards Yugi as the air around him started to penetrate the blankets around him. He didn't noticed what he was doing, and neither did Yugi.
He laughed at a joke Yugi made, the other saying that it wasn't supposed to be that funny of a joke. Atemu shook his head, telling Yugi that he thought it was simply hilarious.
He was about half a foot away from the other now, and silence suddenly hung between them, the only sounds were the small crackling that occasionally came from the rapidly burning candles.
Atemu looked down for a moment, trying to suppress a shiver that suddenly crept up his sides. Now seemed the best time to ask Yugi what went wrong before between them.
"Yugi, could you-" He paused, looking back up, his crimson eyes locking with unsure amethyst ones. "Could you please tell me what happened that night?" he asked sincerely.
Yugi didn't say anything, and Atemu had begun to think that the other wasn't going to answer him. He started to inch away from the other slowly, but was stopped by a freezing hand clasping onto his shoulder.
"No, please, I'm sorry," Yugi muttered in a hushed voice, sounding rather guilty. "I guess this is the only chance I have to say anything," he continued, speeding up a little, bowing his head.
Swallowing, Yugi felt Atemu come closer to him, and he noticed just barely that he felt a little warmer from the extra body heat. His head felt like it was lightly swimming, but he knew he'd be alright for now.
"When we met in that bar, you made me feel happy, confident, even a little light hearted. Jus by talking to you made my mood go up, and I felt in an instant that I could trust you." Yugi paused, thankfully not feeling his cheeks heat up. "I – my emotions I guess got a little out of hand, and I wanted to do nothing and everything with you, I trusted you that much."
Atemu shifted and Yugi stopped, knowing that the other was going to say something.
"But, there must be something underneath all of that. If I made you feel that way, why were you sad, unconfident and miserable feeling before? Don't mind me saying this, but the second we met, I sensed something was troubling you." Atemu looked at Yugi sideways and then craned his head to look at the other fully. "Open up, it'll help."
Yugi trembled slightly. Not only because of the cold, but from how Atemu was able to easily read him like that. He shifted purposefully so that his side was pressed up against Atemu's. He could care less about that issue now.
Licking his lips, Yugi let his head rest on Atemu's shoulder and he began his tale. "It was freshman year when I started college. I didn't know what I was thinking at the time, but half way through the year, I hooked up with this guy; Ushio.
"He was really nice to me, always defending me from those who picked on me. I think I got drunk one night or something, and he was able to persuade me to come back to his apartment for the night." Yugi stopped for a moment, wondering what the other thought of him at that very second. His tongue seemed to swell up in his mouth as he continued.
"So we had sex. I cared less about it at the time, because he still loved me the next morning and the day after that." His memory jumped to the next part, and tears welled up in Yugi's eyes. "I should've heeded the 'warnings' those other kids told me in class...I was such an idiot!"
Atemu tucked his legs underneath himself and turned awkwardly to see that Yugi had buried his face into the slightly warm blankets. "Yugi...please, continue, it's alright..." he tried to sooth, and Yugi lightened up a little at his voice.
The other wiped his tears away, nodding a little, and feeling like a fool for breaking down so easily. "So about a month passed before I started to see changes in him," Yugi choked out, his tears thankfully vanquished. "He started to call me horrible names and threatening me. Things like worthless and if I didn't come to dinner with him, he'd rip my legs off or something like that.
"It was when I tried to break up with him when he snapped at me. I don't know what had caused him to act in such a way, and it confused and frightened me to no end. He never said anything when I tried to reason with him. All he did was break my cell phone in half and drag me to his car."
Yugi bit his tongue and swallowed, trying to fight off the wave of tears and full blown emotions that were threatening to burst out all at once.
"I was forced to stay in his apartment for nearly a month; but he let me go whenever I had classes, threatening to kill me if I said anything to anyone. Ushio kept calling me names and nearly killed me with his constant sexual desires. I thought that it would never stop. That was, until he killed himself with a letter opener for reasons still unknown to me." Yugi shook his head, feeling his tears leak out again, and suddenly felt the sensation of a hand rubbing soothingly up and down his blanketed back. He leaned into the soft touch.
"About a day after he killed himself, I got out of that apartment and came back here, not saying anything about what happened. I don't know how many classes I missed, but I was in here for days and days, trying to pull myself together; especially when police found Ushio's body."
"Why didn't you tell anyone about this?" Atemu asked his voice full of confusion.
Yugi cried at the question, knowing that he was dumb at the time, but he didn't want to admit it.
"I-I was sc-scared, I didn't-t know who to t-turn to," he replied weakly, his voice shaking with sobs. He sniffed into the blankets around his face, wiping the evidence that he had been crying away. "The only one I've told is my best friend, and I only gave him a slightly edited version."
Atemu nodded, letting his hand that was rubbing soothing circles on Yugi's back wrap around the other entirely, bringing him closer to comfort - and warmth.
Yugi immediately cuddled up next to him, letting his tears run freely now. It all made sense to Atemu. Why Yugi suddenly wanted to so badly trust him, but think that it was all a big mistake in the end.
This guy, Ushio, had severely broken Yugi's trust towards anyone - at least when it came to a relationship that is. And now that it had been two years, Yugi seemed to want to have that ability back, but was still unsure about it.
He lightly pushed Yugi back a bit, immediately tucking his hand under the other's quivering chin, shining, tear-filled tears eyes staring at him. "It's alright Yugi, I understand," he said gently, smiling a little to hopefully make Yugi feel better. "You were hurt, and broken into so many tiny pieces that you didn't know what to do."
The tears that were welled up in his eyes finally spilled over as Atemu talked. He felt so...horrible! Yugi turned away. But Atemu turned him back.
Atemu lightly studied the other for a moment, trying to see what the other was hiding. He found nothing, and spoke again. "You had every right to do what you did back there with me; you were probably reminded of what happened in your past, and thought that it'd repeat itself. It's okay..." He softly brushed a tear away with his thumb, inwardly smiling when Yugi cutely leaned into his touch.
They let silence fill the room again, and Yugi gently wept as Atemu took up the position to hold and comfort him, whispering soothing words to calm the other down little by little.
Minutes that seemed like hours ticked by, and Yugi's tears finally stopped streaming, only pooling up every now and then as he kept thinking of what had just happened. His head felt fuzzy, and his nasal sinuses were blocked up so he was forced to breathe out of his mouth. He nevertheless never backed out of Atemu's welcoming and warming embrace though.
"I'm sorry," he murmured quietly, moving his head out of the dampness of his own tears that were stained onto Atemu's blanket. "I'm sorry for pulling you into my mess..."
He felt Atemu's hot breath on his ear, and Yugi shuddered a little. "No, its fine," the soon to be reporter whispered kindly. "By the way things have been going, you needed this...you've bottled all that up for much too long. Sorry though if I sound like some kind of psychiatrist."
Yugi smiled a little into the damp blankets, snuggling closer to the other. "You've...you've made me feel so much better Atemu...I feel like an idiot." There wasn't a response, so Yugi kept going. "My mind has been on the past for too long I guess, and I was afraid to face what was to come when it came to relationships." He took a breath, letting out a shuddering one.
"I think I was initially afraid of myself when we met, not you. You seemed like a nice guy, but I was holding myself back. I just...the morning I woke up...in your place..." he trailed off, not knowing how to really explain the guilt, frustration and relief he felt slowly bursting out all at once. He leaned back into the other, suddenly wanting nothing more than to get Atemu's trust back.
To his pleasure, Atemu once again enveloped him in his protective arms, warmth spreading between the two rapidly.
Atemu unconsciously ran his fingers through Yugi's multi-colored locks, holding the other close with the other. He let his gaze droop and stare at the flickering candles across the room, and checked his wrist watch.
It was nearing quarter after eleven, and the heavy duty snow outside had stopped, being replaced with small and quiet flurries. "I think that it'd be safe enough to go back home now," he commented quietly, rocking Yugi's body awake slightly.
At the words, Yugi's ears perked and he looked up, knowing that he had put on a rather desperate expression on his face. He didn't want Atemu to leave.
"Atemu?" he asked timidly.
Atemu looked down, his heart burning and turning into hopeless mush at the sight before him. He had certainly fallen for the right guy. "Yes?"
Yugi licked his lips in anticipation, butterflies churning his stomach in all directions. "Please, don't leave. I promise to not run away if you do."
Atemu silently smiled a warm smile, and he clearly saw the effects of it gazing at Yugi's tear-tracked face. He grasped Yugi's chin after struggling one of his hands out of the covers where it was sheltering for warmth.
Yugi was willing to give into him, let him teach him to trust others again. It was apparent that Yugi knew well enough that he understood everything that he had said, and it made the other confident and secure feeling.
Leaning down ever so slightly, Atemu pressed his cold lips to Yugi's own cold ones, but they warmed up quite pleasingly after only a couple seconds. It wasn't a desperate or long kiss, but one that reassured both students to an appreciative point.
Pulling away, Atemu nudged Yugi even closer to him. "You don't have to promise me anything, Yugi," he stated seriously, though a soft smile was on his lips. "I trust you."
Yugi smiled a little at the words, bringing himself impossibly closer to the other despite the fact they were tightly pressed against one another.
He was willing to trust himself now...and anyone that he knew was good. He was willing to at this moment forget his past and look at the future and what excitement it would hold for him. He at this moment was willing to trust Atemu.
"I trust you too."
A/N: So here's the end. A little changed from what I had written down, but the main idea is still there at least. Thanks again to whoever read and commented on this one. Please review!
Until next time,