Well, I'm back from England! I'm definitely extremely sad about it, but life goes on, right? I'm officially done with school and am now out looking for a job and let me tell you...IT SUCKS!! If you all though school was stressful, try finding a job for 2 months from now. EEK!!!

Anyways, I'm trying to get back into the swing of writing. I had started this chapter before I left in January and just finished it today. I hope you like it. I'm still trying to get back into the fan fiction writing mode. So far, it's a bit rocky. But, I would love your feedback! I'm working on a couple more stories that should be posted sometime late next week or next weekend. Depends on how my week goes. And, I'm trying to work on "Last Train Home" as well, so please bare with me!!!

I hope you enjoy this chapter and please let me know what you think!!!

Two weeks and three days. Two weeks and three days since I had sent that letter to Bella. What the hell was I thinking? I had disobeyed my doctor’s orders to not send them, but I just couldn’t help myself. I needed her to know that I still needed her in my life, if it were only through a pen and paper. She was my world. She was the only thing I wanted…the only thing I needed in my life.

Dr. Mitchell said that I had been making progress. I started to not feel like the world was caving in around me. I started to realize that there were things and people in this world that wanted me to be living to my full potential and that I hadn’t been doing that.

Did I really think she would write me at all? Did I have as much faith in her as she had for me? I knew she had just started a new job and was probably busy and just hadn’t gotten to it. But, as the days past without a response from her, my heart ached more and more. I could not lose her. Not now. Not after everything we’ve been through, everything I’ve put her through. She said she still loved me. Doesn’t that count for something? Or was I just wishing for something that deep down inside I knew was never going to happen?

I fucked up! I probably freaked her out and she won’t ever talk to me again. I poured my heart out to her and she wasn’t ready for it. FUCK! Should I call her to make sure she was OK? What about asking Alice? Surely she would know if Bella was weirded out by something.

“What?!” I all but yelled into the phone that wouldn’t stop ringing.

“Geez, what crawled up your butt and died?” I heard the voice of my sister ask. It was a good thing Alice was my sister and put up with my crap, because if she didn’t I don’t know what I would do with myself.

“Sorry Alice. It hasn’t been a very good day. What’s up?” I asked running my free hand through my hair as I sat on my couch sifting through my mail holding onto the ounce of hope that I still had.

“I talked to Bella today! She’s doing good. Working a lot. She told me to tell you hello.” I really wasn’t paying attention to a word Alice said. By the time she started talking my hand landed on an envelope with no return address, but with the handwriting that I would recognize anywhere.

“Uh…that’s good Alice. I have to go,” with that I closed my phone and turned it off. I picked up the envelope with shaky hands and turned it over. I slowly opened the envelope inhaling deeply before letting it out. I took out two sheets of paper, unfolded them, and began reading.

March 2, 2008

Edward,

I wasn’t sure if I would really sit down and write you back. But, after reading your letter over at least thirty times and spending countless hours thinking about what you said, I decided that there was no way I couldn’t not write you back.

I’m proud of you for going to see Dr. Mitchell. Your father said he was the best. I’m glad you have someone you can talk to about everything. I just wish that person were me. You’re my best friend, Edward and it breaks my heart knowing you don’t feel like you can be open and honest with me. But, I know you’re working on that too. I want you to be able to trust me fully and I want to be able to trust you fully. I believe in you, Edward. I really do. I’ve always believed in you. You have no idea how strong you are. I guess you just need that push in the right direction and you’ll figure it out. It’s up to you to figure things out. And I know that you will. I have faith in you. You WILL get through this. Know that I will always be there for you. Thinking about you every step of the way. Praying for you. Encouraging you to keep moving forward. I love you, Edward.

I wish you were here with me in New York. I’ve made a few friends, but I miss our family and friends. Alice came out a couple weeks ago. She was her crazy self and helped me get my apartment decorated so it looks less like a prison and more like…well…a home? Don’t tell her I told you this, but I was really glad she came out here to help me with my apartment. It was looking horrible before she worked her magic! She’s amazing!

My mother is coming out next week. Apparently she’s worried about me. She thinks I need to get out more instead of staying cooped up here. I say, I’M A GROWN WOMAN AND CAN DO WHAT I WANT!!! But, she doesn’t like to listen to me. Typical, Renee, huh? Anyways, it will be good to see her. I talked to your mother a couple days ago. She probably told you. If not, please don’t be mad at her. She was just checking up on me. She said she may even come out for a visit. I would definitely love that. I miss your parents so much. Give them a hug for me if you can. I know you aren’t supposed to be sending these to me, but just hug them for me, please.

I miss you, Edward. I miss you so much.

All of my love,

Bella