Pairing: Dean/Sam

Genre: Slash, Angst

Note: Unbeta'ed. Coda for "Heaven and Hell".

Bittersweet

Green eyes. Blue eyes. Black eyes. Brown eyes. All of them pleading for mercy. Pleading to him, begging him to make it stop. But stopping meant he would be the one in their place. And thirty years were enough.

Green eyes. Blue eyes. Black eyes. Brown eyes.

Big eyes, pleading, glistening with tears.

Hazel eyes.

Sam.

“Dean, stop!”

Dean opened his eyes, focusing on the face in front of him. Sam stared back at him with wide eyes. That’s when he noticed he was poising his knife against his brother throat. He drew his hand like it was burning, the knife falling on the carpet with a thud.

"Sammy?" whispered Dean, jumping back, stepping away from his brother.

"No, wait." the younger man caught his wrist, approaching again. "You were having a nightmare, I tried to wake you, but..."

"God," Dean took a deep, shuddering breath. “I almost hurt you.”

“But you didn’t.” Sam said firmly, still gripping his wrist.

Dean raised his eyes, looking at those hazel irises, looking away with the screams in his head.

“It was about hell again, wasn’t it?”

Dean still didn’t look at him.

“Please Dean, don’t do this to me man.”

The blond looked back, sharply. He pushed his arm away, Sam’s hand falling from his wrist.

“How can you ask this Sam? God, how can you stand being near me after what I told you? After what I did to those souls?”

Sam approached, frantic, catching both of Dean’s hands in his, caressing the knuckles without noticing.

“You’re here now, you’re safe. You did what you were forced to do, any other person couldn’t resist for thirty years Dean.”

He approached even more, putting Dean’s hands on his face, touching his forehead with his own.

“These hands cared for me when I was little, these hands tended my wounds, held me when I needed...” Sam closed his eyes, breathing faster, feeling tears running down his cheeks. “I could never be afraid of you Dean. Four months without you here was like dying, how can you say that I should leave you?!”

“Sammy...”

“No, listen!” Sam opened his eyes and realized how their faces were close from each other. “You’re everything I have left. I won’t leave you and you can’t make me.”

The air changed around them, full of something they couldn’t describe. Sam breathed the same air as his brother and that felt so fucking good that he asked himself how he never noticed before.

“I’m not afraid of you or repulsed.”

Without thinking twice, he closed the distance and kissed Dean, just a light press of lips. Dean gasped and Sam used that to deepen the kiss. Soon those hands framing his face gripped his hair and he felt as Dean responded to the kiss, a deep moan escaping Sam’s mouth. The younger man approached more, his hands gripping his brother’s shoulders, all his body tingling with the new sensation of being kissed by Dean.

They broke only to gulp in some precious air and Sam moved, straddling Dean’s thighs, touching his face. Dean’s thumb caressed his cheek, wiping away the tears that left the hazel eyes of his brother.

They should probably freak out about this. But four months apart, each one on his private hell, could make a man rethink his priorities. Dean couldn’t care less about what anyone would think anymore, not after everything he done and seen. All he saw, all he could feel was Sam. Sam above him, his mouth, his face, his taste. Sam, Sam, Sam.

“Dean…”

He opened his green eyes, brighter in the harsh light from the lamp. Sam looked back at him, without shame or fear. Sam swallowed, his throat bobbing sensually.

“Touch me.” whispered the younger man. “I want to show you that you can’t hurt me.”

Dean growled, pulling Sam’s face to him, kissing him deeply and needy. Sam moaned back, squirming on Dean’s lap, bringing himself closer. They breathed inside the kiss, moaning and groaning together when their cocks aligned, the friction almost driving them both mad. Dean finished the kiss, moving his mouth to Sam’s chin, nipping the skin, tasting him. Sam bared his throat, moaning low, rubbing himself against his brother, closing his eyes. He felt as those calloused hands entered his t-shirt, caressing his back sensually. Dean kissed his neck.

“Take it off.” whispered Dean, his voice husky and rough.

Sam lifted his shirt, taking off, not caring where it landed. He watched with hungry eyes as Dean did the same, the only barrier between them now the boxers they were using. Sam caught Dean’s face in his hands, closing his eyes once more as they kissed, the first touch of their bare chests sending their arousal to even higher lengths.

“Dean…touch me, touch me, God…” hissed Sam, between kisses, his thighs around Dean’s hips, the position making his ass rub against his brother’s hard cock. Feeling that made Sam even more urgent.

Dean groaned inside the kiss, his hands sliding down through his brother’s back, grabbing his buttocks and squeezing them, parting the cheeks, rubbing against the crease through the soft material of the boxer. Sam cried out, rubbing himself even more, feeling his whole body burn with the sensation.

“Fuck Sammy…” hissed Dean, circling his brother hole with his middle finger, feeling Sam clench against his touch.

“Yeah,” said Sam smiling. “Do it.”

Dean opened his eyes, staring at his brother. Those hazel eyes just stared back, glowing with desire, lust…love.

“What?” whispered Dean, disbelieving.

“I want you inside me,” spoke Sam biting Dean’s bottom lip. “I want to feel you fucking me, filling me. I want you to see that you can’t hurt me.”

Dean threw Sam on the bed, soon hovering above him. Sam smiled, the first real smile he gave in months. Hell, maybe years. Dean felt himself smiling back and he kissed his little brother, pouring all the love he had in that kiss. He pinned Sam’s hands against the bed, beside his head. Promptly their fingers entwined, the grip firm. They only had each other to anchor themselves to reality.

After that words weren’t spoken anymore. They let the gasps and moans say what they were feeling. Sam turned around, lying on his stomach, spreading his legs. Dean glued himself against his back, taking their last piece of cloth off. Sam gripped the sheets hard when he felt Dean’s finger circling his entrance once again. He hissed in pain when that finger entered him, followed by a second one. But the feel of those plump lips against his neck, giving butterfly kisses, was soon making him enjoy the sensation.

When a third finger entered him, he clenched in pain, biting his bottom lip.

“Relax.” was the sensual whisper against his ear.

Sam shuddered with that voice, his cock twitching between his legs, hard and leaking.

“Dean…hurry up.” moaned Sam, pushing himself against hose fingers, wanton.

Dean growled low in his throat, taking away his fingers, nudging his brother’s entrance with his cock. Sam arched his back, hissing through his teeth when Dean entered him slowly, the burning feeling only increasing his arousal. His body was drenched in sweat, his scent mingling with Dean’s. And that sent a thrill through the younger man’s spine.

Dean groaned, trying to muffle his sounds against his brother’s skin as he started to move, going mad with pleasure at the incredible tightness surrounding him. His grip on Sam’s hips got stronger, and he was sure it would leave marks. God, just thinking about that made him even harder.

They moved against each other with a sync that ruled their whole lives. Dean gripped Sam's hand, their fingers entwining and gripping the sheets below them. His breath was harsh and fast, little puffs of air escaping his mouth and landing on Sam's neck. The younger man moaned and fluttered around his cock with each thrust, each breathing.

Sam closed his eyes, the sensations of being touched and possessed by Dean overwhelming his senses. He gripped Dean's hand tighter, feeling his cock twitch and leak all over the sheets.

"Dean...need more." moaned Sam, lost in sensation and pleasure.

Dean used the hand on Sam's waist to pull him towards his chest, gluing their bodies even more. Sam rested his head against his brother's shoulder, gasping, feeling Dean's cock so deep inside him that he couldn't tell where he ended and his brother began. Dean brought their entwined hands to his cock and Sam moaned loud at the first touch. Together they started jerking him off in time with the slow, powerful thrusts.

The wind outside the room picked up pace, the light breeze entering through the open window, making goose bumps rise against their skin, cooling off the sweat that covered their bodies. They moved faster as their need to reach completion grew stronger. Dean started planting kisses on Sam’s neck, increasing the pressure of his lips, leaving deeper and deeper marks on that skin. The younger man just bared his throat for his brother, gripping his hand, making Dean jerk him faster.

“Dean...God, Dean...faster, deeper...” babbled Sam between gasps.

“Anything you want Sammy.” growled Dean against the bronzed skin, biting his shoulder, leaving teeth marks.

Sam bowed his back with that bite, the sting shooting straight to his groin. His balls pulled tight, his body close to the edge.

“I’m gonna...”

“Do it.”

Sam felt as Dean caressed the head of his cock with his thumb and that was the final straw. He groaned, shooting rope after rope of cum, staining the sheets beneath them, dirtying their hands and his thighs.

“Dean...” moaned Sam, gripping his brother’s cock inside of him like a vice.

Dean growled deeper, the vibration sliding through Sam’s skin as he came, filling his brother inside, marking him up in the most delicious way. Sam gripped Dean’s thigh behind him, his nails broking the skin, holding on as he felt the way Dean’s cock hardened and twitched inside him, as the heat filled him, running through his entrance and mixing with his cum on his thighs.

Soon enough they couldn’t hold their weights anymore and they feel on a tangle of limbs. Dean pulled out of Sam and the younger man turned around, facing his brother, his heart jumping at the glowing ecstasy on those green eyes. He approached Dean, holding him by the waist, gluing their bodies, entwining their legs. Dean just looked at him, his own hand gripping the end of his back and bringing him even closer.

“I’m here.” Sam whispered before his brother could say anything.

“I know.” answered Dean, sighing, kissing him, deeply, slowly.

For the first time since he came back, Dean didn’t have any nightmares. After all he was where he belonged: close to Sam, protecting him from any harm.

Finally, he was at home.

END