Author: blackdoggy1
Title: Belonging (1/3)
Fandom: SPN
Pairing: Dean/Castiel's vessel
Rating: PG-13
Spoilers: Through Season 4 current episodes
A/N: This is the sequel to "Two Lives" as requested by a few readers who wanted to find out about the further adventures of Dean and the vessel. It's set in the Two Lives verse between Castiel's departure and his return visit in the parking lot a year later.

Three days in to the hunt In Ohio and still no luck. They'd been on their way to Baltimore, taking Walter home, when Bobby got an urgent call from an old friend, a sheriff. Apparently the guy was tuned in to the whole "the truth is out there" thing, so when kids starting dying mysteriously on his watch, he called up the best hunter he knew to check it out. The guy's first guess was vampires, as the kids seemed to be dying of some type of anemia. But he obviously had only a passing knowledge of the supernatural. Vampires were damn near extinct and the ones that still lived wouldn't go after groups of kids, not out of any kind of morality, just because killing kids would draw the immediate suspicion of those in the know and would get them wiped out. Vampires might be a lot of things, but they weren't stupid. At least, the ones who had managed to survive this long weren't. The dumb or careless ones had all been wiped out long ago.

So here they were, hold up in a couple of dirty old rooms in the local no-tell motel chasing their tails trying to figure out what the hell was going on. Dean had spent the night digging up kids graves…which in the hierarchy of sucking was pretty high up on the list. Kids. Jesus. It made him sick and in the end it hadn't amounted to shit because there were no answers to be found on the bodies. Apparently there weren't any to be found on the internet either, because Sam's constant click clack on his laptop had stopped being annoying about 6 hours ago and now was driving Dean up the fucking wall.

"Dude, I'm trying to sleep here!" he snapped.

Sam just flashed him puppy eyes and answered in a mildly chastising tone, "I'm sorry, but we HAVE to come up with something soon. Before they lose any more kids."

Dean felt a little stab of guilt and rolled to sit up on the side of the bed, "Yeah, yeah. I know. You're right. He rubbed his eyes and yawned, "Maybe Bobby'll come up with something. He still over at the records department?"

"Yeah. He said he'd probably be back late. Apparently there's dozens of boxes to go through," Sam sighed and leaned back in his chair, finally giving the keyboard a break. "Maybe one of us should have gone with him."

"We cover more ground when we all work different angles Sam," Dean explained, for like what, the zillionth time this week?

"Yeah, well, he could have at least taken Walter," Sam replied in an accusing tone.

"For the last time Sam, no. Walter's no hunter. He's a CPA for Gods sakes," Dean was NOT having this argument again.

"He can READ! That's all he has to do! And he VOLUNTEERED Dean!"

"Yeah, well, I just don't think it's a good idea."

"Yeah, I know, you told me the first time Bobby asked. And then when you got your bitch on the second time he brought it up. And then when you threw a full scale hissy fit in the parking lot of Denny's when Walter offered, and then.."

"OKAY SAM! I get it. You think he can help. I don't think it's a good idea to get him involved in any of this. And since he's my responsibility I guess that makes it my call doesn't it. So shut the fuck up."

Sam snorted, "Your responsibility? Dean he's a grown man. He's perfectly capable of taking care of himself and I must have missed the part where you adopted him. You're not his dad," Sam ignored the WTF eye roll Dean gave him and continued, "and it's not like we want to send him out into the woods alone at night with nothing but a compass and a shotgun full of rock salt. But he could help with the research. And…he….offered." Sam finished with that as though he had just won the argument.

"Whatever dude. Bobby's gone on by himself so this is a moot point. Walter's…wait…where is Walter?"

Sam just shrugged his shoulders in response and turned back to the computer.

"Dammit Sam! Did you send him out on his own? Huh? Did you?" Dean was suddenly (and kinda insanely) pissed off right now. He glared at Sam.

"No, dude, jeez. He went back to his and Bobby's room to watch TV. But what if I had? He can't go to the library by himself either? Are you afraid he'll get an evil paper cut or what?" Sam smirked a little and in a teasing tone added, "Why so protective?"

Dean ignored the baiting tone and just answered, "Told you. He's my responsibility. You know, Cass left and I promised Walter I'd get him home safe and that's what I'm gonna do. He's done his part, been through enough. Time for him to go home where it's safe."

"And that's it?" Sam asked, with a knowing look.

Damn, Dean wanted to smack that smug look right off his brother's face, but he knew Sam was right. There was more to it than just doing a good deed. He also knew that Sam knew. But he wasn't ready to have that conversation, so he just shrugged and grabbed his jacket. "I'm gonna go get something to eat. You want anything or not, you asshole."

"No, I'm good," Sam answered raising a suggestive eyebrow, "but maybe you should ask Walter to go with you, unless you think the silverware at the diner might attack him."

"Bite me bitch," Dean retorted and walked out the door.

Sam did have one good idea though, and Dean walked to the next door and knocked gently. The door opened and those hypnotic blue eyes peered up at him as Walter poked his head out.

"Walter, what did I tell you about not answering the door without asking who it is?"

"I don't know, Mom. What did you tell me?" Walter grinned. Great, now he was getting in on the act. Maybe him and Sam are conspiring to irritate me. They're doing a great job.

Dean couldn't snap back at Walter like he did with Sam, though, because that crooked grin of his was too irresistible, so Dean just shook his head and grinned back. That might have been an even more effective tactic than spouting off though, because Walter dropped his eyes and with a shy, slightly embarrassed smile opened the door wider for Dean to enter which Dean figured was a win for him.

As he walked in, Walter pushed past him suddenly and turned off the TV before Dean could see what was on it. Huh, caught him in the act, Dean thought. Wow, Christians watch porn. Who knew? Payback time.

"So, watcha watching Walter?" Dean asked teasing.

"Nothing," he answered, turning slightly red.

"Nothing huh?" Dean asked in mock innocence as he manoeuvred around Walter trying to get to the TV switch, but Walter was one step ahead of him trying to block his hands with his body. "No, seriously, I'd like to hear Kenneth Copeland's message for today. Or do you prefer The Hour of Power?" He zigged when Walter zagged and hit the switch.

What the fuck? Dean was shocked. He'd been expecting some hot girl on girl action or at the least, one of those soft core, simulated things they show on HBO at night. Nope. No naked bodies, no panting , no moaning. Unless you count Billy panting because he just finished his jog and was having an argument with Allison about his date with Amanda. No wonder Walter was embarrassed. He was watching reruns of Melrose Place.

"Dude? Seriously?" Dean chuckled. He couldn't help it. Walter was using his first 'alone' time in over a week to sit around and watch chick shows.

But 'the vessel' as Dean had once called him just turned a deeper shade of red and looked away. "I like it" he said, almost apologetically. Ugh, another one of those stabs of guilt. Dammit.

"Uh, no, no..it's cool. It's just You like this stuff?"

Walter just shrugged but didn't meet Dean's eyes.

"Well, you know. What the hell? If that does it for you..cool. I just, I thought you were, you know…" Dean gestured towards the set.

"What?"

Dean gulped when he realized talking to Walter about porn might not be such a good idea given his recent, well, feelings. Time to change the subject, "Uh, I don't know, doesn't matter. Look, I was just headed to the diner. You hungry?"

To his great relief, Walter didn't mind the abrupt subject change, either because he was uncomfortable too or because he was just plain hungry, whatever. It worked. "Definitely. Am I…dressed okay?"

Dean looked him up and down, he didn't have clothes of his own so he had been sharing Dean and Sam's and even some of Bobby's. Right now he was in an old beat up pair of Dean's jeans and one of his faded t-shirts. He looked good. Real good. In fact, he looked entirely fuckable. Damn, Dean back on track. You're staring. He's waiting. Play it off. "For the diner? Hell yeah. They don't exactly having a jacket and tie requirement. Though I guess you're covered with that either way", he grinned, nodding to the bag that had Walter's only real change of clothes in it. Trenchcoat and all.

Walter laughed, "Yeah, guess so. Good, cause I'm starved."

"Cool. Let's roll, " Dean answered, ushering Walter out of the room.

…

"I'll have the special. Can I get mashed potatoes instead of French fries with it?"

"Sure sweetie," the waitress, Annemarie by her nametag, answered, giving Walter a little wink and he flashed her a small smile in return. Dean's heart clenched for a second at that but before he could react further, her eyes were on him,

"And for you?" she asked, no flirtation in her voice this time. That's weird. I'm usually the one getting hit on by waitresses. But he knew that it wasn't Walter he was jealous of. He mumbled, "I'll have the same."

As Annemarie sashayed back to the counter, obviously adding a little extra swish to her step for Walter's benefit, Dean turned back to the other man. "Well, looks like you made a new friend," he said, a little more edge in his voice than was necessary.

Walter just shrugged and sipped his ice tea, turning his gaze out of the window to stare at the street. They sat in silence for a while while Dean studied his companion. When Walter was quiet and preoccupied like this, he reminded Dean of Cass. In fact, he reminded him of Castiel a lot of the time. Guess it would be hard not to, wearing the same face and all. Dean had been surprised to learn over the last couple of weeks that a lot of the mannerisms and habits he associated with Cass had been Walter all along. The long deliberate stares, the even temper, even the stilted way he had of talking. Simple questions, simple answers, and a way of measuring his words before he spoke. That was what Cass had meant, Dean assumed, when he'd said that Dean had already met the vessel. That everything he'd seen in Castiel had been part Walter all along. But there was one huge difference.

When you were around an angel, their presence was overwhelming. To the eye, they seemed every bit as human as anyone else. But you could FEEL them all around you. They filled up a room. Castiel, Uriel, all the others. Sometimes it could be so heavy in a room with them you felt like you were breathing underwater. But Walter, well, he was pretty…..underwhelming.

He was so quiet and so careful about staying in the background that most people barely noticed he was there, especially not with big personalities like Dean and Sam in the room. Weird thing was, he seemed to prefer it that way. Certainly when people took the time to notice him, they were attracted. That perfect compact body of his, the charming smile, and those eyes, God those eyes. But when they did make a move toward him, Walter seemed to shrink back in on himself. Or brush it off.

Sure any one who actually really looked at him (which was rare) was definitely interested, but he never seemed interested back. Hell, he hadn't even paid attention to Annemarie's little boom-chick-a-wow-wow on her way back to the counter. Just sank back down into his corner of the booth and turned away, happy to remain obscure.

"I'm not him," Walter said. Dean jumped, surprised to find Walter was now staring back at him.

"Wh- what?" Dean asked, turning red realizing he'd been caught gaping for God knows how many minutes.

"I'm not Castiel."

Dean shook his head, "I know."

"Do you?"

"Of course I do. What are you talking about?" Dean was honestly confused. Like he didn't get the difference.

"I just – nothing," Walter waved his hand and went back to staring out the window, but there was something else in his eyes this time. Sadness. Dean didn't like that look. He didn't like it at all.

"No, what?" Dean demanded. If Walter had a problem they were gonna deal with it right now. Dean wasn't gonna have him going around sad. WTF? I'm not gonna have him going around feeling sad? Seriously? I AM acting like his mom. Oh, screw it, "Walter…WHAT?"

"Sometimes, I see the way that you look at me, Dean. I think you're looking at him. Or that you think you are."

"Why do you say that?"

"There's all this stuff there, in your eyes. I don't know. Like…all this caring and interest. Maybe, love. I know you loved him. And I know it's hard on you that he left. But I'm not him."

Dean was taken aback. Yeah, he'd at first considered that maybe he'd been getting his feelings for Cass mixed up with his feelings for Walter. But he'd been through it all in his mind. And he knew, whether anyone else believed him or not, that this was different. What he'd felt for Cass was about God, he knew that now. Yeah, the sexy fantasies aside, it wasn't about that. It was needing acceptance and grace and mercy. He loved Cass in a way that wasn't about romance at all, at least that's what he'd realized in the end.

The fantasies had just been a byproduct of how good looking the vessel, Walter, was. Who could help it? He was beautiful. Castiel understood what Dean had felt for him, even when Dean didn't. He'd also known there was someone else that Dean was meant to fall in love with. Someone who happened to be sitting across the table from him. He just wasn't fully ready to accept it yet, which is why he'd been keeping it to himself. That and the fact that he had no idea which way Walter liked to swing or how he would react to any advance. He still wasn't ready to go there. Not yet.

"Walter- you don't understand. That's not – I mean, you got it all wrong," Dean started.

"I'm sorry I'm not him," Walter repeated quietly, cutting him off.

"I don't want you to be him!" Dean snapped.

"Of course you do. He was an angel. An ANGEL! I know what it's like. The hole he left. I know it even better than you, more intimately than you can imagine. He was a part of me, for so long. I just, it's just-," he sighed, sounding sad and frustrated, and fell silent again.

While Dean was trying to work out in his head what exactly Walter was trying to say, (cuz seriously at this point who the fuck knew?) Annemarie decided to butt in with their food. By the time she got done fawning over Walter while he shifted uncomfortably in his seat and tried to be polite, the thread of their conversation was lost. Or more precisely it was something neither had the energy to keep up right now. So they silently ate their lunch and sat across from each other. Walter looking miserable and Dean just looking confused. Not the afternoon he'd been planning, not at all.

To Be Continued