Through A Warped Looking Glass Part I

"Why do the bad guys always have to do things the hard way?" Doc groaned as he ducked, narrowly missing the laser fire. A huge mechanical robotic object was shooting at the Galaxy Rangers in a large hallway.

"It wouldn't be fun if they didn't," Shane smirked. He touched his badge and leapt into the fray. A laser hit him and his bio defenses activated immediately. He changed into his silver armored form so he could withstand the lasers and with his enhanced strength tore the robot apart easily.

"When are the bad guys ever going to figure out that robots don't work against us?" Niko let out an impatient sigh.

"Hopefully never," Zach smirked as he blew up a small drone. "It makes our work a lot easier."

"HELP ME! SOMEONE HELP ME!"

"Quit whining!" Shane changed back to his true form as he held onto a large fat human. "I'm only going to arrest you. You are under arrest. There that wasn't so bad now was it?"

"Mikos Mikiles you are under arrest for smuggling, harboring stolen goods, selling stolen goods," Doc read off the list of crimes. "Having an illegal battle droid in your home, littering…"

"Littering?" Zach asked.

"Well that robot did make such a mess," Doc shrugged.

"Wasn't that Gooseman?" Zach asked.

"If he didn't have the robot I wouldn't have had to destroy it," Shane remarked.

"Let's just stick with the basics," Zach told them. "There's no need to get creative."

"Oh but it's so much fun when we do," Doc said. "It just livens up all those reports we have to type."

"I'll plead guilty to anything just don't let him kill me!" Mikiles whined as he pointed to Shane.

"He is the least of your worries you scum bag!" Niko fumed. "You're profiting off of people's heritage!"

"It's a living," Mikiles shrugged. He screamed as Shane held back Niko.

"Niko, come on," Shane cautioned her. "Remember I'm the one that loses their temper."

"Yeah yeah…" Niko grunted.

"You've been hanging around the Goose far too long Niko," Doc used his tweakers to scan a nearby computer. "The good news is I disabled the security system. The better news is we don't have to arrest anyone else because this guy is the only one here."

"It's cheaper to use robots instead of henchmen," The illegal arts dealer admitted. "They're more loyal and they don't ask for raises."

"Certainly made my job easy," Doc snickered.

"I don't feel so good," Mikiles moaned. "I think I'm gonna throw up…"

"I wonder why?" Doc remarked as he looked on a table and saw the remains of a giant combo of nachos, donuts and fried chicken.

"I'll get him out of here before throws up all over the evidence," Shane rolled his eyes.

It wasn't long before the rangers managed to open up a huge storage area in the back room. "There must be thousands of different artifacts from hundreds of different planets!" Niko was stunned.

"It's all set up in cases, like it's on display or something," Zach looked around. "It's like a mini museum. With prices on the displays…"

"He was going to sell all of this like it was a bargain basement sale!" Niko fumed.

"According to this schedule this guy is scheduled to hold an auction of these artifacts right here by tomorrow," Doc looked at a data pad. "Anybody wanna see who's on the guest list?"

"From what I'm guessing there's a lot of people with a lot of arrest warrants," Shane whistled as he walked up to them.

"I guess we're gonna have to put on the auction ourselves and see what we catch," Zach shrugged. "Where's Mikiles anyway?"

"I locked him in the bathroom over there," Shane pointed. "What? I made sure there was nothing he could use as a weapon in the cabinets and he's handcuffed to the toilet. He'll be fine."

"I'm gonna call in for backup at BETA," Zach said. "There's no way we can bring all these in by ourselves." He went to do so.

"Doc give me the inventory list," Niko said. "I want to catalog what we have here."

"No problem," Doc handed it to her. "That statue there looks like it's made of solid gold."

"According to the scanners it is," Shane took out a scanner from his belt. "Must be worth millions."

"Maybe even more," Niko frowned. "This statue is from Andor during the Hamelian Era. There are very few intact archeological specimens from that period."

"Looks like Waldo gets an early Christmas present," Doc smirked.

"This is a stone carving from Kirwin, A Gurkin Hope Chest…" Niko was stunned as she went through the collection. "A Zanquillian War Spear, a royal Leonoid broach that's hundreds of years old! There are dozens of artifacts from Walcam, Bracciae, Herena…Even pictures from the Planets Nebraska and Prairie!"

"Wasn't there some kind of art heist on Nebraska two years ago?" Doc asked.

"Yes and it looks like we've finally found the stolen paintings," Niko frowned. "And these over here are more Walcam artifacts and…Is that a rare Gurkin wedding bracelet? This bastard has Gurkin wedding jewelry? And is that a carved stone from a sacred Andorian temple? He actually has stolen archeological artifacts? THAT BASTARD!"

"Uh Goose, that bathroom door has a lock on it right?" Doc gulped.

"Oh yeah," Shane nodded. "Why do you think I put him in there?"

"There must be treasures from more than half of the worlds in the League of Planets and others here!" Niko fumed. "THAT BASTARD!"

"Unless of course she blows up the door," Shane said cheerfully.

"NOT A BAD IDEA!" Niko fumed.

"Focus Niko!" Zach barked as he walked in. "It's all set up. Cain is sending some rangers to help us set up a sting operation as well as catalogue all these artifacts for evidence."

"Judging from the sheer amount of it, it is gonna be a very short trial," Doc quipped.

"And after that's settled we can return the evidence to their rightful owners," Shane calmed his girlfriend and fellow ranger down.

"Sorry, you know how people profiting off of archeological digs and stealing bits of other people's cultures is one of my hot buttons," Niko let out a breath.

"That's some button," Doc remarked. He saw a very weird purple metal statue on a pedestal. "I tell you though this guy has some weird tastes. Wonder where this is from."

"Based on it's appearance it looks like a Po Mutant artifact," Niko studied it. "But I have no idea what it represents. Probably a sculpture of some kind."

"Oh great!" Shane groaned. "Not one of those things again! Every time we get involved with one of these things it spits out stupidity all over us! Usually me!"

"Don't worry Gooseman," Zach waved. "We're not going to even touch this thing until backup arrives. So nothing is going to happen if we don't do anything."

Suddenly the purple statue began to glow. "Uh Zachery…" Doc gulped. "Nobody touched that did they?"

"No…" Niko winced as the statue began to raise itself into the air. "You were saying Captain?"

"Oh crap…." Zachery winced as the statue emitted some kind of light that covered them.

SSSSHWWWOOOSSSSSHHHHHHHH!

A bright light shone all around the Galaxy Rangers. The next thing they knew they were falling. And then they landed in a heap on a very hard floor.

"Ugh! That was not fun!" Niko groaned. "Someone get their elbow out of my ear!"

"Sorry," Zach apologized. "I guess I was wrong. Doing nothing doesn't work either."

"I knew it," Shane groaned. "Stupid Po Artifact!"

"I told you those damn things were nothing but trouble!" Doc shouted. "But noooooo! You had to touch it! Way to go Zach!"

However it wasn't the Galaxy Ranger Doc who said it. "Huh?" He looked up and saw an exact copy of himself in front of him. He had longer hair and a goatee with his mustache but he was wearing a very dapper black cowboy outfit.

"Are you…?" Alternate Doc blinked at Ranger Doc.

"ME?" Both of them said at the same time.

"Man I clean up good," Alternate Doc blinked.

"Just what the hell is this?" Another Zachery Foxx shouted. "However this Zachery was very different. He had long hair in a ponytail hidden mostly by a dusty cowboy hat. His face looked like it hadn't been shaved in days, and the three o'clock shadow made him look darker. He was wearing a dark brown cowboy outfit and a poncho. "Just what the effing Hell is this? Is that supposed to be me?"

"Watch it Mister!" Zach stood up, a bit miffed. "I'm a Galaxy Ranger."

"Well whoop de freaking do," Alternate Zachery powered up a bionic arm. "I'm the guy who's gonna blast you into next freaking week if you don't tell me what the hell you're doing here!"

"You're not the only one with bionics Mister!" Zach powered up as well.

"Captain, now is not the time for giving into your temper!" Niko warned as the other rangers stood up.

"Captain? You gotta be freaking kidding me!" Alternate Zach snorted. He looked at Niko and Shane. "Hey is it just me or do they look exactly like…?"

"What did you idiots do this time?" A familiar face walked in.

"Max?" Shane gasped at the appearance of an older man. "Max Sawyer is that you?"

"Shane?" Max's jaw dropped. "Is that…?"

"You idiots were playing around with that Po Artifact weren't you?" A woman wearing a blue and red outfit stormed into the room. "I told you not to touch it!"

"He did it!" Alternate Doc pointed to Alternate Zachery.

"Ariel?" Niko was stunned. "Is that you?" It did look like Niko's mentor only with one difference. Instead of the elderly woman she knew, this Ariel had brown hair and looked about thirty years old.

"How do you know…?" Ariel did a double take. "NIKO?"

"That's Niko?" Alternate Doc pointed at Niko.

A ten year old girl with long auburn hair in a ponytail wearing jeans and a red shirt with cowboy boots ran in. She was followed by a small eight year old boy with wild blonde hair wearing a black cowboy outfit. "What? Ariel? Max? What's going…?" The girl stopped. "On?"

"Who are those people?" Little Shane pointed.

"It's okay Niko, Shane…" Ariel said. "I believe we have some company."

"Niko and Shane?" Zach did a double take.

"That's us? As kids?" Shane was stunned.

"Awww! Gooseman you are so cuuutteeee!" Doc chirped.

"Watch it Doc!" Shane growled.

"Hold on a second," Alternate Doc looked back and forth at Shane and Little Shane. "You telling me the Squirt here is gonna grow up into that?"

"Kind of makes you want to treat me with more respect doesn't it?" Little Shane beamed.

"I'd listen to him if I were you," Shane growled with a grin as he stuck his face in front of Alternate Doc's.

"All right since we have a Po Artifact right here," Max pointed to similar artifact next to them. "I'm assuming you have encountered a Po Artifact as well."

"Yeah that thing looks just like the piece of junk that sent us here for no reason!" Shane barked.

"Oh there was a reason all right," Ariel glared at Alternate Zachery and Doc.

"Obviously these things created some kind of dimensional portal between different worlds," Max said.

"And we slipped right through it," Shane grumbled. "It figures."

"So they're us from another dimension?" Little Niko asked.

"You got it, kid," Shane smirked.

"So judging by your outfits and badges you're all lawmen of some kind?" Alternate Zachery looked at them. "That's weird."

"We're Galaxy Rangers. I take it you're all outlaws in this universe," Zach frowned.

"It's not as if we had a choice," Alternate Zachery growled. "Earth was taken over by the Po Empire! We're just trying to stay alive."

"What?" Zach blinked.

"I think we should all take a moment to tell each other exactly what's going on in our respective universes," Ariel looked around. "It might be enlightening."

"Where are we anyway?" Zach looked around.

"You're in our spaceship the Phoenix," Little Shane remarked.

"Of course we are," Zach rolled his eyes. "Why am I not surprised?"

"Huh?" Alternate Zachery asked. "I don't get it."

"Let's just say the starship Phoenix brings some bad memories for me," Zach let out a breath.

It didn't take long for the Galaxy Rangers to briefly explain what was going on in their universe to their counterparts. "So your wife and children are alive in your universe?" Alternate Zachery frowned. "Mine were killed by a alien raider raid on Mars two years ago."

"I'm sorry to hear that," Zach was stunned.

"Yeah well I used to be a lawman too until that happened," Alternate Zachery growled. "Didn't see much point in staying on the side of law and order when everything I had was destroyed and the murderers got off scott free."

"I met up with Zachery here on one of my enterprises," Doc remarked. "Let's just say we get along a lot better now that we're on the same side of the law."

"You mean the wrong side," Zach frowned.

"Don't get all judgmental with me!" Alternate Zachery snapped. "You still have your wife and children! And even when you didn't have your wife you still had your kids, your friends and hope to get her back! I had nothing! No one was there for me when everything was taken away! So get off your freaking high horse! My life may not be perfect but I'm a lot richer and a lot better off than I was when I was on the so called right side of the law!"

"I'm not so sure about that," Zach thought. This is what I could have become if things had been different. I don't ever want to be this person.

"Let's change the subject here," Ariel noticed the tension.

"Yes, Ariel how do you know…?" Niko pointed at her younger version.

"Ariel found me when I was a baby and raised me," Little Niko explained.

"You mean on Xanadu?" Niko asked.

"What's Xanadu?" Little Niko asked.

Ix Nay On the Anadu-Xay, Ariel sent a telepathic message to Niko. She doesn't know. She and everyone else thinks I'm human and I want to keep it that way. You know about Xandadu?

"Oh uh, it's the colony I was raised on," Niko told her younger self. I was raised on Xanadu by my mentor Ariel after my colony was killed by humans. Long story. But why…?

Simple, it's forbidden to have outsiders on Xanadu and the council wouldn't make an exception, Ariel sent back. So I left to raise her. I mean what's twenty or so years in my lifetime?

"So how did you all meet?" Niko asked, deciding not to press the issue for now.

"Niko and I were captured by a rather unscrupulous individual named General Slade," Ariel explained. "He was the head scientist of the military before the Po Mutants came. He was trying to turn us into weapons but we escaped during the confusion in the invasion. That and with help from Doc over here."

"I was hired to steal information from Slade," Doc smirked. "Best hacker in the universe. But even a thief like me has some morals. I admit it. Women and children are my weakness. Couldn't let 'em be sliced and diced. So I took a bit more than I expected."

"What about uh…?" Shane pointed to his younger self.

"Shane here was the first of a new breed of genetically engineered warrior to fight the aliens," Max smiled at the boy. "However we were forced to flee with his father when the Po Empire invaded and conquered our world. General Walsh is currently organizing the resistance. I've been charged with raising this boy."

"General Walsh?" Shane frowned. "So Walsh is…"

"Yes, he is the boy's father and raised him as his own son as well as an excellent fighter," Max smiled and Little Shane smiled back. "I became his tutor as well."

"So there are no other Supertroopers like him?" Shane asked. "No Kilbane or Brainchild or…"

"Who?" Little Shane blinked.

"You really did have it easier than I did, Kid," Shane grumbled.

"I take it the Supertrooper program in your universe was different?" Max frowned.

"You have no idea," Shane let out a breath. "And I'm glad it failed!"

"I think we're all glad it failed," Niko held Shane's hand.

"Oh are you two…?" Ariel raised an eyebrow. "Involved?"

"If you mean are we dating, well yes," Niko smirked. Shane blushed a little.

"How interesting," Ariel smiled.

"You're boyfriend and girlfriend?" Little Niko was shocked. "Gross!"

"Ewwwww!" Little Shane made a face.

"You're not?" Shane teased.

"No way! I hate girls! Well Niko's okay because she doesn't act like a girl," Little Shane winced. "But she's just my friend!"

"For your sake I'm going to pretend that's a compliment," Little Niko glared at Little Shane. "But he's right. Me? Date him? Forget it! That's disgusting!"

"You might feel a little differently once you two are older," Niko made a wise smile.

"Fat chance!" Little Shane huffed.

"But you make such a cute couple," Alternate Doc chuckled.

"You want me to bite you again?" Little Shane glared at Alternate Doc.

"As much as I love discussing how good our other selves' lives are," Alternate Zachery growled. "Don't you think it's past time we sent them back to their own dimension where they belong?"

"Come on Zachery," Alternate Doc grinned. "When else would you get the chance do discuss hacking strategies with yourself?"

"Have you ever done a Goldstein's Paragrim?" Doc asked.

"Done it? I've perfected it!" Alternate Doc boasted. "They now call it the Hartford Paragrim!"

"Get out of here!" Doc asked. "What about the Data Angle Insertion repeat file?"

"I fixed that," Alternate Doc took out his CDU. "Let me show you…"

"Hold on, let me get mine out," Doc took out his CDU.

"Doc! You really think this is a good idea to show classified information to him?" Zach pointed at Alternate Doc.

"Hey if we can't trust ourselves, who can we trust?" Doc asked.

"He's got a point," Alternate Doc nodded. "Besides it's not like we can steal anything from your universe and vice versa!"

"You have tweakers?" Doc asked.

"Do I? Come on out guys!" Alternate Doc called out. Instantly several tweakers appeared. "I got this thing called an bio genetic implant that helps me…"

"I've got the same too! But we call it a Series Five Implant!" Doc took his tweakers out. "Did you get yours from a nut job called Q-Ball?"

"Professor Q? I get all my stuff from him!" Alternate Doc laughed. "Look these are my tweakers. Pathfinder, Tripwire, Pixel…"

"You have a Pixel too?" Doc asked.

"Yeah but he's got some bugs in it," Alternate Doc said.

"So does mine!" Doc said.

"This one is one of my favorite Tweakers! Snake Eyes!" Alternate Doc pointed at a black tweaker that looked like a shuriken.

"I don't have a tweaker like that!" Doc gasped.

"Well I don't have one like that," Alternate Doc pointed at Doc's tweaker. "Which one is that?"

"That's Lifeline," Doc said. "Hmmm so you have a program I don't have and I have a program you don't have."

"You know what this means?" Alternate Doc raised an eyebrow.

"PROGRAM SWAP!" Both Docs shouted with glee and began to work on their CDUS at the same time, downloading copies of each other's programs.

"Hello! Hi there! What's new Buckaroo? Hello! Hello! Hello!" The tweakers flew around the cabin. "Hello! Hello! Hi there! Hiya! Hi! Hello! Hi!"

"This is so freaking bizarre…" Alternate Zachery groaned. "MAX!"

"I'll take a look at it," Max began to examine the Po Artifact.

"Don't! You could end us sending us all somewhere even more bizarre!" Shane warned.

"Hi there! Hi there! Howdy do! Howdy do! Wheeeeeeee! I like you! I like you too!" The tweakers flew all around them.

"Although right now I can't imagine any place more bizarre than this," Shane groaned.

"Oh man I can't believe I didn't think of this! Hey what if we put these bits of data here and move this over there?" Both Docs were conversing furiously with their CDUS. "Yes! This fixes that! Hey! We can make a new program! A new tweaker? Out of sight! Go for it!"

"Hey is your father dead yet?" Alternate Doc asked. "The biological one. Cause I had an adopted father that was pretty good."

"Yeah the bastard is dead," Doc said. "Second wife blew him up."

"Lucky," Alternate Doc grumbled. "Hey! With this algorithm we can upgrade Pixel!"

"Great idea! And we can also use it into making the new tweaker!" Doc said.

"GENIUS!" Both said.

"But what do you expect?" Doc asked.

"I know," Alternate Doc preened. "We are so brilliant."

"That goes without saying," Doc said. "Good looking too."

"But of course," Alternate Doc smirked.

"I always knew Doc's best friend was himself but this is ridiculous," Alternate Zachery groaned.

"Then again what could be worse than this?" Shane groaned.

"We could end up with a third one," Little Shane remarked.

"Oh right," Shane nodded. "Yeah that would be worse."

"How about Ariel and I use our powers to psychically figure it out?" Niko asked.

"Hello! Hello! I like you! This is fun! Let's fly around some more! Wheeeeeeeee!" The tweakers buzzed around like drunken hummingbirds.

One hit Shane on the head. "Do it!" Shane barked. He tried to wave away the tweakers. "Stupid little…"

"I know they bug me too," Little Shane groaned.

"All right, let's focus and see what we can get," Ariel nodded. Both she and Niko raised their hands around the object and used their powers.

"Wow, she's powerful," Little Niko blinked. "I mean I'm powerful. I can tell."

"You think you might be that powerful someday?" Little Shane asked her.

"Don't see why not," Zach shrugged.

"Are you two finished yet?" Shane barked at the two Docs.

"I suppose," Alternate Doc took back his tweakers. "But it was a good brainstorming slash programming session. And I got a new tweaker out of it!"

"So did I. And we have enough data to make a new one!" Doc said. "And fix our Pixels."

"Do do do…" Both Pixels floated around.

"Or at the very least upgrade them," Doc remarked.

"So can this thing just send us home or not?" Shane asked as the two women broke out of the trance.

"Well the good news is that it can," Ariel let out a breath.

"And the bad news?" Doc had a feeling of dread in his stomach.

"It's missing a component that makes it possible to return us to our own dimension," Niko said.

"Of course it is!" Doc said sarcastically. "Why bother making our lives any easier?"

"But we know where it is," Ariel said.

"It's back on that treasury ship we raided right?" Alternate Doc asked.

"Actually by now it's probably at the royal palace on Earth," Ariel groaned.

"Royal Palace?" Zach asked.

"The Queen of the Crown took over the White House and painted it purple," Alternate Zachery groaned.

"Oh goody," Doc groaned. "So all we have to do is break into one of the most secure buildings on the planet, steal something valuable and not get killed?"

"You say that like it's hard," Both Shanes said at the same time. "Huh?"

"Two of them…" Alternate Doc groaned. "A little one that causes a lot of damage…"

"And a big one that causes a ton of damage. I know," Doc sighed. "We're doomed."