The sky was a storming grey when Remus arrived. Despite the summer season, a chilly breeze blew through the trees, forcing Remus to wrap his cloak around himself tightly. It was a quiet night as he walked deeper into the woods, following the directions Dumbledore had given him.

After an hour of walking he came across what appeared to be a campsite. There were haphazard tents surrounding a blackened fire pit, and bits of clothing scattered around in the dirt. A horrifying sense of danger drummed within Remus as he crept forward, his fingers brushing over the wand in his pocket. Dumbledore had told him that the werewolf pack did not like magic, and Remus could agree from his limited experience. A year before, right when the war was beginning, Remus had been sent to discuss the Order’s acceptance of lycanthropes but had failed miserably. The werewolves had deemed Remus too connected with humans, and had refused to listen to any of his pleas.

This time, however, Remus was determined to succeed. The war between Lord – Voldemort and the Order was intensifying by the day, and it was time to draw the lines of who was on their side and who was the enemy. Also, he needed a way to take his mind off Severus, and Lily, James, and little Harry in hiding. He had to make a difference this time – he just had to. He had to make himself believe that he wasn’t just some kid, fucking around with adult business. Before, he had expected that saving the Weasley clan would convince him and everyone in the Order that he was ready to fight, though somewhere along the way it became more of a lucky escape than controlled defiance.

In many ways he was glad to be away. With Severus now at Hogwarts, Remus felt that he wouldn't be able to accept that Severus didn't need him anymore, as though everything that had happened between them was from necessity, not from desire. He was glad that he could convince himself that he was absent from Severus’ life because he was on a mission, not because Severus hated him.

Movement from within a tent caught Remus’ attention, the fabric door shaking as someone pulled it back with a hand. Remus stopped and watched as a woman emerged, her wild black hair standing up on end. The dress she wore was torn in numerous spots, and Remus could see the pale skin of her stomach from the moonlight.

It was evident that she caught his scent before actually seeing him, because she froze with her back arched and her head tilted downward. Remus tried desperately to quell his nerves as he waited for her next move.

“You’re Dumbledore’s man, right?” she asked, her voice hoarser than what Remus had expected.

“Yes, I am.” Remus forced his voice to remain strong.

The woman finally lifted her head, and Remus was struck by the intensity in her eyes. The orbs were a strange stormy brown, shinning in the dim light of the moon. He shifted awkwardly as she moved closer, her strides long and quick. He stared back openly as she inspected his face, the foulness of her breath hitting Remus’ nostrils. She looked at his clean-shaved face and his clothes free of holes and stains. Lifting up his hand, she sniffed at his fingers and smirked.

“You like men, I see.”

He felt his cheeks reddened. “Yes, I do.” Out of the corner of his eye, he saw that others were emerging from their tents as well. They were creating a circle around them, watching silently.

“I’m Elena,” the woman said. “You are Remus Lupin.” She looked at his trouser pocket. “Give me your wand.” He complied, but was shock when she chucked it into the trees.

“Excuse me!” he yelled, taking a step forward.

She stopped him with a hand on his chest, curling her fingernails into his flesh. “We don’t allow magic here, Lupin. I thought Dumbledore would have told you that.”

He was silent as he bent his head, accepting her dominance. “Yes, Elena.”

“He smells like a human,” said a gruff voice. “Are you sure he’s one of us?”

Elena turned to a tall man in the crowd. He was bare-chested, and had his thick arms crossed in front of him. Smiling at his disgruntled expression, she answered, “We will know soon enough. The full moon is approaching, is it not?” She looked to Remus and he nodded. “I also trust what Dumbledore says, or at least I think I do, but that’s why you’re here, right?”

“Who is this Dumbledore you speak of?” another one asked, and the crowd made a sound of agreement.

Elena looked to Remus to answer, and after a pause he said, “Professor Albus Dumbledore is the Headmaster at Hogwarts.”

“A wizard school? How can we trust wizards?” a voice demanded.

“I’m here to explain that you cannot trust what this Dark Lord is promising. He is a killer!”

“And the English Ministry is not?” Elena cocked her head to the side. “Do you know how many of our kind is murdered by your government each year? If I were you I’d write a complaint to your Minister.”

The crowd chuckled, and Remus felt a bit sick. “I understand – I have to hide what I truly am every day, but it’s Dumbledore who accepts me! He can help everyone here!”

Elena waved her hand in the air. “We can discuss this later. I am tired and I want more sleep. You can sleep on the ground for now.”

Remus nodded, too preoccupied with making a good impression to realise how uncomfortable he would be sleeping on the ground.

.::.

Days, weeks, months past before Remus heard anything from Dumbledore. His mind had stopped wandering to Severus, and he had stopped waking up in stained trousers from his dreams about the man. It was a strange, simple way of life, and Remus kept to himself just as the pack ignored his presence. It was only during the full moon that he was accepted into their group. They ran through the forest, searching for animals to eat. Remus mostly played with the other wolves instead of hunting. It was a strange feeling as he began to long for his transformation. Lonely, he yearned for friendly interaction. However, he worked past his loneliness, and never ceased at bringing up his argument against the Dark Lord whenever he had a chance. He was a nuisance, he knew that much, but he wasn’t there to make friends – he was there to help win the war.

Finally, after six months with the pack, it seemed he had convinced Elena that Dumbledore could truly help her. He was sitting in front of the fire, their day’s kill hanging from a stick as it cooked. As always, Remus sat by himself with his arms wrapped himself, the winter’s cold seeping into his bones.

Elena initiated the discussion that night. “I like to think of myself as open-minded. I disagree with Greyback’s system of complete removal of human ways. I keep my pack in tents because it’s logical – I allow clothes for the same reason. I don’t approve of senseless killing because I think it’s wrong.”

“Dumbledore has many ties with the Ministry. I’m sure if you pledge your help to the Order he will do as much as he can to change the way the Ministry perceives werewolves.”

“Yes, but why hasn’t he done it already?” asked Tom, the same man who had question Remus being a werewolf that first day. “If he supports werewolves so much, why has he just sat back and done nothing as our kind is slaughtered?”

Elena rested a hand on his shoulder, rubbing it. “I have wondered this as well. Personally, I know I can trust Dumbledore because he saved me when I was a little girl. I wasn’t able to attend Hogwarts like you did, but I was able to at least have a comfortable life.”

Tom shook his head. “I don’t think any of them should be trusted.” He looked at Remus and snarled. “Like this one.”

“You can trust me,” Remus responded without missing a beat. “I don’t know what else I can do to make you believe me.”

“I want you gone,” Tom said, his voice dangerous.

Remus blinked in surprise. He had experienced Tom’s aggression before, but nothing like this. “Why? I’m helping out, aren’t I?”

“You are human filth!” Tom jumped to his feet. Remus waited for Elena to tell him to sit down, but she never did, instead staring with something like excitement in her eyes. “Prove to me that you are a true wolf! Fight me!”

“I don’t want to do that,” Remus responded calmly.

“It’s because you are a filthy human! You are afraid!”

Elena spoke suddenly. “Fight him, Remus.”

Remus was astonished. “N-no! I came here in peace!”

Snarling, Tom flung himself on top of Remus, grabbing his arms and pinning them to the ground above his head. He stared into Remus’ eyes for a moment, a growl thundering from his chest, before biting Remus hard in the neck.

Remus yelled and tried to buck Tom off, kicking his legs fruitlessly. The man was just too heavy for him, and he struggled under the weight. “Get – off – me!”

“Meet the wolf tonight, Remus,” Elena said. “Win this fight and I’ll promise to fight for the Order.” She laughed.

Remus didn’t have time to ask if she meant it, because Tom was bending down to bite the other side of Remus’ neck. He felt the sting and blood from the first wound, and he aimed a knee into Tom’s groin. For a brief moment Tom was caught off guard, and Remus ripped an arm from his gasp and plunged two fingers into Tom’s eye sockets.

Howling in pain, Tom toppled to his side and Remus kicked the other werewolf in the back. He didn’t hesitate before throwing himself on top of Tom, punching and clawing at him. Tom began to laugh.

“That’s not how wolves fight, Lupin!” Tom roared with laughter.

“How do they fight, then?” Remus yelled.

“Bite him, Remus,” Elena said quietly. “Bite him now!”

Vomit coated his throat at the request, but he didn’t allow himself to think about. This was something he needed to do for the Order. God, why had Severus thrown him out the last time they spoke? Why didn’t Severus like him just as much as Remus liked him? Why couldn’t he gain the respect of these werewolves? Why wasn’t he picked as Secret Keeper for Lily and James? Everyone thought he couldn’t be trusted! Everyone thought he was a failure!

Blinding rage suddenly surged within him, his vision blurring and his heart pumping painfully in his chest. He hated everyone – everyone, especially the stinking werewolf under him! He wasn’t like these animals! He would never be like these animals!

Snarling, he ripped through Tom’s neck with his teeth, ignoring the hot, tangy taste of blood filling his mouth. Tom arched under him and cried out, his beefy fingers pushing at Remus’ shoulders. Well Remus wasn’t going to lose this time, so he smacked a hand against Tom’s forehead and smashed his head back into the dirt. He raised his own head and bit the other side, growling in satisfaction.

Elena was laughing. “All right – all right. You can let him be now, Remus.”

Remus stood up and kicked Tom in the stomach for good measure, his hand rubbing at the bit mark on his neck. “Bastard!”

“I’m impressed,” Elena said slowly, “though I’m sure Tom here only allowed you to win because he fancies you.”

Remus glared.

.::.

As it happens, his time with the pack ended abruptly on a cold, November morning. Remus was satisfied that members from the pack had been helping stop Muggle attacks all along the Northern shore of England. He was disappointed when Dumbledore had ordered him to stay longer, even after he had won Elena’s trust.

If he had known that his time with the pack would have ended this way, though, he surely would have suggested staying a lifetime. He felt numb as he sat in Dumbledore’s office, waiting for the man’s meeting with Fudge to conclude. All around, wizards and witches were celebrating the demise of Lord Voldemort. He slumped in his chair and cradled his hand within his hands. Lily and James dead? Harry, the sole survivor and defeater of the most powerful dark wizard in the world? It was unbelievable – it was sickening.

What had gone on when Remus was away? Now he was hearing rumours about Sirius on the run for the deaths of Peter and a dozen more. Oh, god. All of his friends – dead. How could’ve Sirius done such a thing? Sirius loved James like a brother – had the war been that harsh that it made Sirius switch sides? Remus couldn’t think about it. He couldn’t comprehend any of it.

What he could comprehend, however, was his desire to see Severus for the first time in over a year. How was he taking the news of Voldemort vanquished? Would he even be in his chambers, or out celebrating with the rest of the wizarding world? He must be relieved that now his role of spy was over. He was safe finally.

“What have you heard?”

Dumbledore’s sudden voice made Remus jump in his seat. He had no idea he was crying until he tried to look at the elder wizard and realised his vision was swimming. Wiping hastily at his eyes, he said, “Harry defeated Voldemort. Lily and James and Peter dead, Sirius is to blame.”

Nodding, Dumbledore stared down at him sadly. “Yes, I’m afraid so. I am so sorry, Remus.”

“I don’t know what to feel.”

“Here, have some tea.” Dumbledore handed him a cup, and he drank deeply. “What we must remember is that this war is over, Remus. No one will ever die again because of Riddle.”

“But Lily and James – how can Harry ever be normal after this?” He moaned into his teacup.

“Harry will be fine.”

Remus raised his head suddenly. “Can I see him? Oh, please, Dumbledore!”

Dumbledore shook his head. “I’m sorry, Remus, but he is already safely with Lily’s sister and her husband.”

“But – maybe – I can contact her?”

“No, you cannot. They are Muggles.”

Gasping, Remus said, “Dumbledore, you can’t!”

Raising a long-fingered hand in the air, Dumbledore responded calmly, “He will be safer with them, Remus. Please understand.”

Remus stood. “I want to see Severus.”

Dumbledore peered at him over his half-moon glasses. “If that’s what you want. He’s in the chambers the near the Slytherin common room. Do you remember where Professor Slughorn used to stay?”

Nodding, Remus handed Dumbledore his empty cup. “Thank you, Professor.”

.::.

His knuckles ached from his pounding on the door. He waited for a moment, then knocked quickly again.

There was slight movement from within the room, then an angry voice screaming, “PISS OFF!”

Taking a deep breath, his stomach twisted when he heard Severus’ voice. It was dark and painful, and Remus hesitated before responding. Suddenly words were beyond him. “I – Severus, it’s me – Remus – Lupin.”

“Go away.” The words trembled through the door, but closer – as if Severus was leaning against it. Remus heard the devastation in the voice, and he felt his own eyes tear up. His bottom lip quivered.

“Severus, please, open up.” I need you right now, he added silently.

After a brief pause the door slowly opened and Severus stood there, his black eyes glimmering with moisture. His cheeks were stained with tear-tracks and flushed red from the irritation. Remus took one look at Severus and flung himself into Severus’ arms.

“Be with me,” he said quietly.

Severus wrapped an arm around Remus slowly and closed the door with the other.

The End