|Mind Games Of Love
Author: Kozly-Bear PM
Umineko fic. Beatrice/Battler. He was thrown into this place of despair, challenging The Golden Witch to finish what they had started such a long time ago. Beato thinks about how she truly feels about the Ushiromiya man. Beato's POV.Rated: Fiction K+ - English - Romance/Angst - Battler U. & Beatrice - Words: 3,401 - Reviews: 19 - Favs: 43 - Follows: 1 - Published: 01-12-09 - Status: Complete - id: 4789014
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
A/N: Yo!! I'm taking a little break from writing Higurashi fics to bring you this Umineko one. I was reading it the other day, and I had the most remarkable urge to write something about them. SO HERE IT IS 8D!!
Ughh... I wish Umineko had it's own section... ;A;
Couple of things here first, there could be possible spoilers for EP4. Not really though... just extremely minor ones.
Red Text = Truth
Blue Text = Lies
Disclaimer: I do not own Umineko no Naku Koro ni, Ryukishi07 does.
I had been sitting in the same room for such a long time, I was afraid my dress would wrinkle. The last thing I wanted was Lady Bernkastel and that other child, Lambdadelta, to see was my dress in disarray. Those two always loved to pick out certain things about me and comment on them. Usually Lady Bernkastel would compliment me on a slight change in my appearance, or how I acted that day. Lambdadelta on the other hand would attempt to tease me to no end.
Glancing down at my dress, I straightened out certain parts of it, making sure that it wasn't starting to deform. When I did this action, the man sitting across from me looked up from the game in front of him. He glared at me slightly, indicating just how much he must despise me. My smile just seemed to widen when he did this, and in return his eyes narrowed further.
"Something on your mind....Ushiromiya Battler?" I made sure to stress his name when I spoke.
The only kind of response he gave me was silence. Clearly he didn't feel like dealing with my mind tricks for this game. I wish I could say how many we've had now....the red-head declared that he would never give up until he beat me, until me made me surrender. Even though he said this to me, I had told him that he would never win anything. He was simply a fool for trying to go against someone of my stature.
Of course, this was all just a delusion. I knew it all too well, that sooner or later this man would be my downfall. The only way I could continue to go on living would be to go through with all the games that Battler challenged me to, or maybe if I simply got on the floor and begged him he would let me live.
Who am I kidding? The great Golden Witch kissing the shoes of a mere human? That would never happen. Therefore the only course of action I could see would be to continue this endless maze of despair, to keep on reseting the world of Rokkenjima and keep coming up with new ideas that would make this man believe in the existence of witches.
Battler sat back in his chair, his sudden movement pulled me from my current thoughts. I was about to open my mouth and provoke him further, to force him into another one of those angry frenzies that I loved to see so much, but I stopped and looked at him. I mean really looked at him.
He was a man of eighteen years, and I had failed to notice certain features about him. His fiery red hair, it's color seemed to bring out his personality perfectly, portraying just how much of an inferno he really is. His dark brown eyes, at times they changed from their chestnut color to a more fitting one that suited the situation. Right now the brown seemed so dark that it was almost like they were black, showing just how much he must detest this whole game system. The suit he was wearing hid his build well, if he had a more casual piece of clothing on, it probably would have brought out his muscular side a lot better.
Coming back to my senses, I shook my head violently, I needed to get these stupid thoughts out of my mind. The last thing that I wanted to think about was this stupid fool sitting in front of me....yes, he was merely an idiot. Somewhere deep inside me I knew that the only reason I spoke like this of him, was because I was afraid of something. It wasn't Battler, not exactly, but the feeling I get around him.
As if he was reading my thoughts, Battler's eyes suddenly made contact with mine. It made me flinch inwardly, if I didn't have so much pride, I probably would have let out a gasp as well. It made me frustrated at the fact that he was only looking at me, staring at me from behind his hands that were linked in front of his face.
I tried to speak to him, but for some reason my mouth didn't seem to want to move, my voice wouldn't come out. I felt like I needed to do something, anything, to hear his voice again. I hated it when he gave me the silent treatment, a slap on the face would have satisfied me more than not hearing his voice at all. It was like listening to him made me feel, something that I had never felt before. I am a witch, I have no idea how to put these emotions into words. I didn't even realize someone like me could have human emotions like this.
I wanted something from him, but he refused to give it to me. I, myself, do not know what I crave from Ushiromiya Battler. All I know, was that it was something that was forbidden between that of an immortal and a mortal. The urge began to rise up once more, I finally could feel courage back in my body and I heard my voice again after a long while.
"You know, staring at me like that won't make a difference in the outcome of this match, I suggest you stop looking at me and focus back on proving that your 'human' ways are better," reluctantly I had made yet another jab at his ego, half hoping that he would do the same back to me.
Battler paused for only a moment and then snorted at my comment. He resumed staring down at the chess board, trying to think up another move that would help him win this. My hands balled into fists at this point, it was almost as if he knew that I wanted him to strike back at me. Something was telling me that was part of the reason why. I felt anger begin to rise up from my core, it bubbled up into my chest, internally I swore that if he didn't say something soon I would cast a spell on him that would put him in a situation worse than this.
My eyes refused to make contact with his, the last thing I wanted to see right now was just how dark they had really gotten, that would have indicated his emotions at the moment, and I'd rather not have to look at that. I heard a sigh come from his direction, that sound that came from his mouth alone melted away a part of my frustration. It seemed like he was also getting frustrated with this world, maybe I had finally put up a situation he didn't know the answer to? That would have been too easy.
"Beato...." his voice cut through the air like a razor sharp blade, and it made my body heat up slightly. Even though I had heard his voice, it took me a moment to realize he was talking directly to me. Deciding against my usual teasing, I settled on seeing what was on his mind.
"Yes?" my voice seemed to sound smaller than I had wanted it to.
Battler folded his arms across his chest, his gaze did not shift from the chess board that had caused both of us so much trouble time and time again. The expression on his face revealed that he was thinking hard about the situation this time around, but at the same time the expression on his face held a somewhat calming appearance.
He chuckled a little bit. Even his laughter made my heart flutter, there was just something unexplainable that I seemed to enjoy so much about him. A mystery if you will, not like the murders that I had been laying out for him to solve, it was something that was far more complicated than anything of the sort.
Whenever it seemed like he was going to move closer to me, I couldn't seem to be able to control the rhythm of my beating heart. When his eyes gazed upon me from across the room, instinctively my own would want to stare at the floor. When a sincere and true smile appeared on that handsome face, mine seemed like it would stay there forever. He made emotions stir inside me, these things are something that should be forbidden to a witch.
I hated him for it.
"Heh, you really have me cornered with this one," his smile still lingered after he finished speaking. Battler seemed somewhat amused by something he saw.
"How so?" attempting to keep my voice sounding normal was tougher than I imagined. How I longed to tell him what I was truly thinking about, what I'm always thinking about. Ushiromiya Battler's image refused to leave my own head. At times it seemed like this was some kind of torment, possibly a spell or curse of some sort that one of the witches that carry the name 'Beatrice' had cast on me. Other times it felt like a blessing, being able to vividly remember every detail about this man, soothed and calmed my broken and beaten soul.
"Well," he sounded casual as ever, "this time around you have more 'closed rooms' than ever... and I believe that even if I try to solve something like this, your ability to use red text would neutralize anything that I come up with."
"You still have the ability to use blue text though," was I really comforting him? No... I wasn't. I was merely stating the truth, I always forced myself to believe that.
The smile he had been wearing dropped from his face, it seemed like he was just as tired with all this as I was. "Telling lies doesn't exactly appeal to situations such as these," Battler spoke in a rather harsh tone. I knew he hated me, I knew that quite well. This knowledge didn't seem to phase me all that much before, but now it felt like it crushed me inside whenever I thought about it.
"Are you giving up already?" no hint of sarcasm or teasing could be heard in my words. I just wanted this game to end, but at the same time that was the last thing I wanted. If he lost, that meant he would die, and I would continue on with another thousand years of boredom. If I died, there would be no one willing to release Battler from this hell.
As much as I hated to admit it, I needed Battler and he needed me. We were two complete polar opposites, and yet I couldn't stay away from him. The closer I get to him, the more he wants to be away from me. Blaming his sister for this outcome wasn't very dignified, but it did make me feel better. From the moment I saw her, I knew that she would get in the way of me getting what I want.
I always get what I want.
"Giving up?" the smile returned, and once more my expression mirrored his own, it was like a reflex. "If I give up, doesn't that mean that I die?"
"Not necessarily, you could always take up my offer and become my furniture," my mischievous side kept coming out at times that I didn't call for it. It was all a lie anyways, I didn't really want Battler to become my furniture, not anymore at least. Just the knowledge that he could potentially die if this game doesn't go the way I want it to, killed me a little bit inside. Him becoming my servant was the only solution I could see that wouldn't end up in his death, he would refuse my suggestion of course, but I had to try.
"Thanks but no thanks," I knew it, I thought bitterly. My shoulders slumped slightly, not enough for him to notice however. "There's no way I would ever allow someone like you to control me."
I don't want to control you...I just can't bear to see you disappear. My delusions refused to leave my mind. It seems like I would get no peace until this torment would come to an end.
"Battler..." I couldn't stop myself anymore, I had to find out on more thing before I continued this charade. If his answer was something negative, my heart probably wouldn't be able to take it anymore, if his answer was in the slightest a positive one, I would make sure to keep going on strong. Anything, as long as it didn't end in tragedy.
"What?" the harshness of his words were starting to break me down yet again, but I couldn't stop now.
"Do you, really hate me that much?"
I could see that somewhere along the line I struck a nerve. It wasn't something that would make him angry at me, in fact it seemed different like his own body started to heat up as well. It was probably just the lighting in this hell hole, there was no way someone from the Ushiromiya family would act like this towards a simple question.
Hesitant was the only word I could think of to describe how the man was acting right now. My stare never lingered away from him, this was one time I refused to look away. His eyes however, reverted back to the chess board and stayed there for a while. My hands clung to my dress, I did not care now if I acquired wrinkles or not, to me this was a life changing event. It was a simple, minor, answer. To a normal person maybe, but not to me.
"I..." Battler's speech sounded a bit slurred, the rest of his words came out in a mumble, "I.... do."
I laughed outwardly at his answer, it wasn't sincere though, it was the most forced laugh I've ever ushered. It had all come down to this, and it felt as though I had blown everything completely. My head drooped and this time I stared at my hands, that were placed nicely in my lap. I never thought it would be possible, a mere human had brought The Golden Witch down with one phrase. It made me want to vomit just thinking about it.
Thinking about it... repeating those words in my head made something click. The way he mumbled... he had some kind of hidden meaning when he spoke those two words. It was something that sounded so familiar to me, but I couldn't seem to remember.
I was no longer staring at my lap, I had made my head move and now I was looking directly at the man. He seemed to be angry about something, his eyebrows were furrowed and it was almost as if he was in pain. I was about to comment on his appearance when I noticed the color of his eyes. They were no longer that black color, they seemed to have melted away their hardness and reverted back to being brown.
A moment had passed before I realized that he wasn't in pain, not exactly at least. He was... more or less embarrassed. Ashamed would have been a better word to describe it. About what exactly though?
Thinking about this topic was giving me a headache. It was impossible for a magical being such as myself to get something like that, but trying to remember what was hidden in his answer was making my head hurt. I had always been one to think about things too hard, this would usually result in me missing the point completely, and I'm afraid that's what was happening right now.
Then it hit me, the realization came crashing at me harder than anything I would have expected. I had even mentioned this previously to him. The fact that he can use blue text.
He had used the blue text to answer my question.
A strange weight had been lifted from my body. I felt like I could breathe again, and my temperature was returning to normal. I could not believe that I didn't see something like this sooner, it was staring me right in the face. Battler had previously found out that he could use blue text to contradict me, when he used that ability, it simply meant that instead of red meaning the absolute truth, blue meant he was lying.
"An idiot such as you has no right to say that to The Golden Witch," I felt my teasing self return to me suddenly as well. It was a great feeling, just the knowledge that he had lied to try and hide the truth from me, made my fanged smile grow. "I will continue this torment, and there's no way someone like you is going to win."
"Is that so?" his real personality seemed to return as well, "like hell you'll win this! I'll prove to you that witches don't actually exist! Then you'll disappear and die, all alone in a fiery grave."
"Ah hahaha!" the cackle inside me hadn't been released in quite some time finally erupted, "Ushiromiya Battler! Never has anyone gotten this far with someone like me, you will die, or you will become my furniture, either way I'm not losing to you."
I couldn't express how good I felt. It was such a weird thing for someone like me, someone who Shouldn't be permitted to have feelings all together, let alone have these kinds of emotions for a human. It was such a sin, but it felt like the right course of action.
Never would he ever find out how I truly feel. We will keep up this little charade of hating each other until the end of time. At the very least, until one of us is destroyed from this battle of wits and patience. I, Beato, make an eternal promise to myself, to always keep these emotions I feel bottled up inside me, to never be released to him. I wish for him to know, but if he found out it would only lead to trouble. The situation does not change on my end either, I do not wish to found out what he is truly thinks of me, that would only ruin what we have now.
One last phrase seemed to linger in my mind. This was something that didn't need red text to see that it was the truth.
Battler, you have cured my boredom entirely. Everyday with you is an adventure on its own, if I could I would keep this up forever. When you ask something about me, I will answer you. Any kind of question you want to know, I have the solution. One question you will never find the answer to though, are my real feelings for you.
I love you, and you will never know.
A/N: I hope you guys enjoyed my very first Umineko fic! ;D I tried ever so hard to keep everything in character... it just pisses me off whenever I read a fic and someone who ISN'T a jolly person, is all DUR HUR HUR HUR! -runs in circles- ...that's where I refuse to read any further.
Hehehe, Beato/Battler is definitely my OTP of Umineko... they are just so amazing together *3* They should be canon... I hope they're canon actually, lol. I'd bow down to Ryukishi07 if he announced that they were. OHOHO!
...The anime needs to hurry up and come out.