Harry Butt-head

Disclaimer: Beavis and Butt-head is property of MTV and Mike Judge. The Daria characters used in this series are also property of MTV and Glenn Eichler.

Thoughts – Harry Butt-head is more or less a continuation of Parodies Suck. Back when I wrote Parodies Suck, my ability to write Beavis and Butt-head fanfics wasn’t nearly as developed as it is now. I figured I’d start over with a new series altogether that still follows the basic premise of parodying famous books/movies. This series will be a slightly more loose interpretation of the Harry Potter universe than my other parodies. For example, Beavis will take up Ron’s role while Daria will take up Hermione’s role. However, the role of the Weasleys will be portrayed by Daria’s family since just the thought of Beavis being in a stable, loving family would pretty much destroy the entire essence of his character. Now that I’ve laid the ground rules, on with the story!

Prologue: The Boy Who Scored

“Ouch!” Butt-head yelped. “Watch where you’re stepping.”

In his mesmerized state, Beavis accidentally stumbled onto Butt-head’s foot. The taller brunette teenager pushed Beavis away in frustration.

“Oh sorry, heh heh!” Beavis smiled.

“Uh, what’re you doing, Beavis?” Butt-head asked as he suddenly noticed what was in Beavis’s hand.

“Um, reading, heh heh heh!”

“What’re you talking about, Beavis? You can’t read!”

“Yes I can!”

“Let me see that book!”

“No way, butthole!”

“Boys!” the librarian reminded them. “May I remind you that you’re in a public setting!”

“Uh, we are?” asked Butt-head.

“Yes, now please be quiet!” the old lady told them.

“Okay, huh huh huh!”

Butt-head’s attention to the book Beavis held still did not waver. Something about that book was calling to him. Perhaps it was the broomstick the boy sat or, or perhaps it was the odd title on the top of the book.

“Uh, let me see that Beavis,” Butt-head said more softly. He normally wouldn’t have asked this politely, but he knew from experience that the librarian would throw him out if she felt he was getting out of hand.

“Um, okay, I guess,” Beavis handed the book over to Butt-head and began picking his nose.

“H-Har… Hairy… P-P-Pot… Pot… Pot-head! Huh huh huh! This dude’s name is Hairy Pothead!”

“Whoa, really? Cool name!” Beavis exclaimed.

“Uh, there’s more…” Butt-head read. “Hairy Pothead and… t-the… Sore… Sorce—Sorcerer’s S…. Ssss…. Stones!”

“Heh heh heh heh heh! Stones!”

“Beavis, I think I’m going to check this book out!”

“Hey guys!”

The duo would recognize that voice from anywhere. It was Stewart Stevenson, fellow classmate and official pain-in-the-ass.

“I didn’t think I’d find you guys in the library,” Stewart confessed. “What’re you doing here anyways?”

“Um, reading,” Beavis said.

“Cool, which book are you reading?” asked Stewart.

“Uh, this,” Butt-head held up the book he had.

“Whoa, Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone!” Stewart gasped. “It’s a pretty good book series!”

“Um, it is?” asked Beavis innocently.

“Yeah!” Stewart told them. “I think you guys will really enjoy it!”

“Uh, are there naked chicks in it?” asked Butt-head.

“Ha ha, no,” Stewart replied. “But there’s plenty of excitement in there!”

“Heh heh, excitement!” Beavis chuckled. “Boi-oi-oi-oi-oing!”

“Well, I’ve gotta head out now,” Stewart informed them. “Hope you enjoy Harry Potter, guys!”

“Yeah,” Butt-head said. “We’re going to enjoy Hairy Pothead!”

---------------

A few minutes walk was all it took before they reached home again. The first thing Butt-head did was set the book down on the couch.

“Hey Butt-head, we got still got any nachos?”

“Uh, they’re in the kitchen, dillweed!” Butt-head snapped. “Now go get me some!”

“Um, okay, heh heh heh!”

“Huh huh huh, dumbass,” Butt-head muttered.

There was a certain spark that drew him to the book for some reason. He couldn’t explain what it was with his limited intellect, but it was there alright. Soon enough, Beavis came back with the nachos.

“You sure you wanna read this?” asked Beavis. “I mean, if Stewart likes this book, then that must mean it sucks!”

“Shut up, Beavis!” ordered Butt-head. “I want to see what this crap is about!”

“Um, we can always go mess with Anderson’s tool shed,” suggested Beavis. “Or maybe go hang out at the mall…”

Smack.

“Ow, that hurt, buttmunch!” Beavis complained.

“You deserved it!” Butt-head snapped. “Now shut up and let me read!”

“Um, okay…” Beavis rubbed his throbbing cheek. “Can I, like, read with you?”

“Uh, don’t you have something better to do?” asked Butt-head. “Like playing with matches or something?”

“Um, I kinda want to read this now,” Beavis confessed.

“Okay, but don’t breathe on me too much, asswipe!” Butt-head ordered.

“Alright, heh heh!”

“Like, uh, once upon a time or something,” Butt-head opened up the first page.

The Beginning.