Chapter 1

The election was over. Keith Mars was now the Sheriff of Balboa County. One crisis averted. Veronica went from her life being in total disarray to it now being only half filled with complications. The relief of her misguided attempts at revenge had not cost her father the election. Now, how to deal with the rest of her life? Since the now infamous altercation between Logan and Gory, and the awkward apologies from Logan to herself and Piz, Logan had been MIA. The look on Piz’s face when he came upon the scene was one of realization. He finally realized that even though on the outside, Veronica had chosen him, on the inside it was always Logan. As Logan had apologized to him and walked away he saw Veronica stare after him, then quickly turn and walk away. The look in her eyes told him all he needed to know The plan was to avoid her. If she couldn’t talk to him, she couldn’t dump him, right?

“Piz, we really need to talk. I am not sure what you think is going on, but I would like to hash a few things out. Call me.”

Veronica was getting tired of leaving voice mail messages. Neither Piz nor Logan would return any of her calls. She needed to talk to them both, although she was unsure what she really wanted to say to either of them. She had tried, unsuccessfully, to put her feelings for Logan aside, but they had never gone away. So, now what? She didn’t want to hurt Piz, but could she really let go of Logan, knowing how she felt?

“You’re gonna’ hurt yourself, thinking that hard” Wallace plopped down on the couch next to Veronica. She had almost forgotten he was there.

“I just tried calling Piz again. Has he said anything to you about why he’s avoiding me?”

“Haven’t we talked about this? I don’t want to get involved. Plus, I haven’t seen much of him lately, myself. So, new subject…. Have you told your dad about losing the internship yet?”

“No, but thanks for reminding me” Veronica quipped in an obvious sarcastic tone, “I just don’t want to upset him. He just won the election, and I don’t want him to know about the ‘strings’ the Castle pulled to get me out of it. The last thing he needs is to feel a need to go after Jake Kane. We all know how well that worked out for him in the past.”

“Yeah, V, but you’re supposed to be leaving in two days. I think he’ll figure something out when you don’t go.”

Veronica’s phone rang “Ah, saved by the bell. Hello?”

“Veronica? Can you hear me?”

“Yeah, hello? Logan, where are you? You sound like you’re in a tunnel?” Click. The line went dead.

“Ok, so that was weird….”

“What’s up?” Wallace mumbled as he stuffed another cookie into his mouth.

“Well, that was Logan, but he sounded weird, and he couldn’t hear me. Hold on, I’m gonna’ try and call him back.” She dialed “Straight to voice mail.”

“Well, before you jump to those conclusions that I know you are so fond of, why don’t you go by his room?”

Fifteen minutes later she was on the elevator waiting for it to stop on Logan’s floor. It felt like the longest elevator ride ever. She had been concerned about Logan ever since he decided to take on Gory. While Logan may have just laughed off Gory’s threat, Veronica knew what the Castle was capable of. Thoughts of Logan stuffed in a trunk on his way to be tied to cement blocks and tossed into the ocean were running through her mind. “Don’t overreact, Veronica” she whispered to herself as she walked toward his door. She knocked, but when there was no immediate answer she decided to use the room key that she never gave returned.

“Logan?”

“Ronnie, to what do I owe the pleasure?” Dick stepped out of Logan’s room.

“Dick. Where’s Logan?”

“Well, hello to you too. My day has been great, how about yours?” Veronica pushed past Dick into Logan’s room.

“Logan?”

“He’s not in there. I’m not sure where he is exactly. I guess he decided he was tired of the drama and took off. You sure know how to get rid of ‘em, V.”

“When is the last time you saw him?”

“I don’t know, let me check my diary…”

“Don’t screw with me, Dick!”

“What’s going on?”

“Logan!” Veronica turned around and before she realized what she was doing she had her arms around his neck.

“Ok, well, I’ll leave you to it. Dude, you have got to deal with this.”

“Bye, Dick.” Logan waited until Dick was gone to speak. “So, Veronica, what’s going on? Not that I’m complaining, but you screaming my name in delight wasn’t what I was expecting today.”

Veronica slowly pulled away, realizing that he had no idea why she had attached herself to him. “I just thought…. Nevermind.”

“Ok, well, sorry about earlier, my phone must have lost signal before it died. I wasn’t sure if you heard me or not. So, I just figured I would call you back later.” Studying the blank expression on her face he added “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine. Since I’ve got you here…. Can you tell me why you haven’t been taking my calls?” Veronica had collected herself and was reverting to her calm demeanor.

“Well, honestly, I wasn’t sure I was ready for another lecture.”

“I wasn’t going to…. I just wanted to talk.”

“So, talk. What’s up?” He asked while walking over to the couch. Logan knew that conversations with Veronica were usually something that he wanted to be seated for.

“Well, for starters it’s nice to see that you’re alive.”

“Huh?”

“You know, the threat that Gory made?”

“Does that have anything to do why you threw yourself at me when I walked in?” Logan smiled wickedly as he asked this question.

“Well…. Ok, so my imagination got the better of me.”

“Awww, so you do care?” Logan laughed.

“Ok, well, if you’re just going to laugh at me….”

“No, I’m sorry, you just make it so easy. I’m sorry, I’ll behave.”

“Well, I wanted to talk about what happened that day in the food court.”

“You were there. You know what happened.”

“I know what happened, I just don’t understand why it happened.

“Gee, Veronica, I thought you were smart. Look, I think you know why that happened. My question is, why do you care? I mean, I thought you wanted me out of your life. I just did what came naturally to me.”

“Which is what? Beating the crap out of people?”

“No, defending you. Don’t pretend you don’t know that by now. Look, if that makes you think I’m crazy, then so be it, but I can’t be someone that I’m not. I don’t have it in me to just stand by and watch someone….. wow, déjà vu. I think we’ve had this discussion. Something comes to mind about a dead horse and a beating.”

“Look, I understand all of that, but I guess what I’m wanting to know is…”

“Veronica, are you still with Piz?”

“What does that have to do with anything?”

“It has everything to do with everything, Veronica! What is the point in this conversation? You were willing to cut me out of your life for pummeling him, and now you want to …. I don’t know, talk about us? I am not going to torture myself by having this conversation with you so you can run back to Piz!”

“I haven’t talked to him. He’s ducking my calls. Something you two have in common.”

“So, have you decided what you’re going to say to him? Because if not, we really don’t have anything to talk about. It’s just not fair to me, or him…. Or you for that matter.”

“Logan, I am just confused…”

“Well, that’s not good enough.”

“Let me finish. I’m confused because Piz is a nice guy, and I do care about him.”

“Enough, Veronica! Please!”

“Let me finish! I care about Piz, but I love you!”

“What?!”

“Logan” She walks toward him and touches his hand, “I have never gotten over you. I was mad about Madison, but by the time my anger had begun to subside, you had moved on with Parker. You acted so different with her. I just assumed that you were over me and you were falling for her. When I came to her birthday party, I felt like someone had punched me in the gut. I mean, you had a picture of the two of you on a cake. Piz kissed me, and I figured here was a great guy, who liked me. You were moving on, so I should too. Then, yes, I started to care about him. Then when you decided to use him as a punching bag, part of me felt angry for him. But another part of me felt relieved that you still cared. The part that felt relief also let me know that I wasn’t over you in the least bit and that terrified me. So, I decided that I should just get you out of my life. Then things would be easier.”

After a long pause, she went on. “Then that happened in the food court, and I knew that I wouldn’t stop loving you just because you were out of my life. I just wanted to talk to you about everything.”

“And what about Piz? Have you decided what to do about him?”

“I could lie and say yes, but you know me better than that.”

“So, what now?” Logan placed his hand under her chin and tilted her head up to look at him.

“I don’t know. It seems that we always end up in the same place. It’s like some pattern that we can’t break. I am so scared of one of us hurting the other again.”

Logan leaned down to kiss her on the forehead. “I’m scared too, but I can’t keep waiting, Veronica. It hurts too much. Sure, you’ve opened up today more than you have in our entire relationship, but you’re still too unsure. I can’t make your decisions for you. Nor can I promise that I will never disappoint you, or hurt you for that matter. But I love you, Veronica. If that’s not enough for you, then I don’t know what else to do.”

At this point Veronica knew that he was right. No matter how she felt about Logan, she always remained undecided on whether or not they should be together. She never trusted him enough to just be with him. Seeing their relationship from his point of view was not something she was used to looking at. And she wasn’t sure she liked what she saw. She never let him in…. Not really. She took off more times than she could count and he always let her back in, no questions asked. He defended her relentlessly, and never gave up. Yes, he had hurt her, but she finally had to think that maybe she caused him to do some of the things he did. How long could you push someone away before they thought it was over?

“Logan, I want to talk about this more. But I have somewhere I need to be.” She had felt her phone vibrating, and she was sure that when she checked it there would be a message from Piz. Call it intuition, but she just knew. Just like she knew she had some thinking to do before she could call him back.

“Look, Veronica, I think I may go away for a while. It seems that some decision always gets rushed into, and it doesn’t do anyone any good. Maybe you just need some time to decide what you want without me around. Maybe then it will be easier.”

Veronica had the strong urge to quiz him about where he would be going and when he would be back, but her hard-ass switch had flipped. She had shown her soft underbelly and now he was running. At least in her mind. In his mind he was trying to do what he thought she wanted. She backed away and headed for the door without so much as a glance backward. One tear was all she allowed herself as she got into the elevator.