Irrational Hunger

Rating: ADULT

Pairings: GSR Lady Heather/OC

Summary: Her name was Vivian, a woman with soft chestnut hair and dark brown eyes. I hungered for her like my next meal, but it was not meant to be. (The Prequel to the Nominated ‘Forbidden Hunger’)

Disclaimer: I do not own CSI...

A/N: Here is chapter 1 to start, then when I get to ten in wiritng I will post chapter 2. This will be about as long as Forbidden Hunger but I do warn you this story will contain heavy ANGST. To clear things up Vivian Ross is Sara Sidle in a past life. Vincent is Grissom. Therefore this story is mainly GSR. I hope you enjoy chapter 1.

WG

Vocab:

Halfbreed Humans: A genetic anomaly that is very rare amongst vampire/human couples. A halfbreed human is a human with vampire DNA constructions. Two parts of a whole while the dominant and recessive traits fight one another like a disease. The body and tissues break down eventually leaving the host in agony, severe pain in the final months of the transition signal heart failure and eventually death. The genetic make up of Halfbreed Humans is often times almost always fatal; there is no known cure for the condition even though several have been researched. Only a few of the documented cases have survived.

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One

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The Journal of Vincent L. Rhodock III

“It was the man in me I suppose that had drawn me to her that day. A woman of flesh and light, pure power and wisdom. An old soul that I could connect to. They say that I’m a pure blood, one who’s never been conceived by human means. However, looking at this woman now, hair tied up in a pin and that emerald green dress, I’d have to say otherwise. Her brown eyes met mine and I was lost, the forbidden fruit calling to me like a man starved. Her name was Vivian and I hungered for her like my next meal. That was when John found me out in the garden, watching her. The council often bought slaves and used them for various tasks; most of them were half-breeds with no place to go. She, however, was human. Maybe I was drawn to her because of her life force, I have yet to know this beautiful creature, but I hope in time she will let me know her.”

XX

London 1841
The Society Ballroom

“Rhoddy would you stop staring at the poor girl she’s here to serve the food. Besides she’s human, what would you expect to do with her?” John Rice said from behind him, patting him on the shoulder. “You’ve been a vampire for a hundred years; truthfully you’d have found a suitable mate by now.”

“Maybe it’s not what I want, John. I can’t take what they have to give because I don’t want it. And technically I am ninety-eight.”

John stuck out his tongue. “What about Lady Margret? She was a beautiful woman, fair and unchallenged.”

“She just was using me for convenience.” Vincent’s face shifted into a grimace. “I was nothing but a feeding opportunity for her.”

He walked to the edge of the balcony and stood leaning against the railing. The black cape hanging off his body kicked in the breeze as he turned his face up to the night sky.

“Surely you’re not going to give up?” John came to stand beside him. “I mean…”

“Wouldn’t you if every woman you saw of your own species did nothing for you? They were just merely people to talk to and no matter how hard you tried you couldn’t come to grips with what you really wanted?” He turned back to the ballroom and watched the servant collect trays from the table. Her green dress billowing behind her.

“Vivian is human, Rhoddy.”

“I know what she is, damnit.” He ground out through gritted teeth. “Don’t you get it? I can’t have her, yet I want her so much. There is something there that calls to me and it’s irrational but I want it.”

He felt a hand on his shoulder. “It’s okay my brother. In time you’ll learn to deal with it.”

“I doubt that.”

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She felt his eyes on her, those glowing silver blue eyes that pierced her soul and left her numb. However, she was unafraid even though she knew he was more and less than human. Vivian knew why she was here and who she was living amongst. They did not frighten her in the least because they treated her kindly. Her father was a half-breed but she had remained human after birth it was why she was taken into the society.

Rhodock was the man that was looking at her now, a peaceful gentleman with kind eyes. She’d often find him in the tower library reading the texts on all different subjects. His quest for knowledge was insatiable. In her minds eye she’d always viewed him as a passionate lover, dedicated, thorough. But she quickly shook of those thoughts in the favor that it was not meant to be. Vincent was a pure blood and he would not find her suitable for she was only human.

On the other hand, if it wasn’t meant to pass, why did his eyes on her make her feel the way she did and why was he always staring at her?

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“You know the council will frown upon this obsession of yours.” He heard John say as he picked up a plate and filled it with some fruit.

“I know what the council thinks about my habits already. The way I sit alone up in the library and read to my hearts content.” He huffed. “It is not my fault I am this way, but she is what I want.”

“Think about this.”

“You think I haven’t thought about it?” Vincent spat out gruffly, his accent thickening. “I have thought about it until my head is about to explode. I can’t stop it. You told me what to expect, John. Hell, I’m experiencing it now; for her and her alone. Why? Is she not human? Yes she is. But I can not stop this.”

“She will grow old.”

“I do not care.”

“One day you will, Rhoddy, and what then? What’s to become of you then.”

“Only heaven knows, my dear friend. For as the sun sets, I’m sure God is watching.”

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“Heavens dear child, what are you doing up in the middle of the night?” A soft voice called to her. Her head turned to see Alice, once of the chambermaids, walking towards her. “You should be in bed, Vivian.”

“I find that I am too awake to sleep, dear friend.” She responded softly. “So I have come here to read, I enjoy the silence and the rhythm of the rain beating against the house.”

“Yes, but you come to Lord Vincent’s main sanctuary as well, he is known to dwell in this very library, surely you must know that.” Alice continued to chatter as she placed a thumb in the book and shut it to hold her page.

“I shall be fine, Alice. All Rhodock does when he comes up here is read just as I do. I know that it’s not a trait highly regarded in women, but my mother wanted me to know and father approved.”

“Knowledge is only good for certain things, dear child. You know the only reason you were brought here was because your father was one of us. Do not make any of the council members unhappy.”

“I have no intentions of the sort. I am here to work in the day and sleep as the sun sets. Or at least try to get as much rest as humanly possible.” Her body was rigid as she heard approaching footsteps. It was him, her body always high strung and on high alert when he was near.

His voice with that delightful English twine spun around her nerves like the finest silk, soothing her body as he spoke to Alice with a firm, yet kind, voice.

“Alice do leave the poor girl alone, she has worked very hard this day. If she wishes to read, then she may do so.”

“I am sorry my Lord. I was only looking out for the best intentions.” She bowed gracefully.

“It is fine, dear Alice. Please go to your chambers and rest. I shall watch after Vivian, she will be well.”

“Yes, your grace.” With those parting words she went under the arch and out the door, shutting it softly behind her. The tinkering of the rain continued again on the rooftops over the library. She closed her eyes and took it all in, her ears sensitive to the sounds picked them up easily, and something more was added to the mix. His breath in a steady inhale and exhale. The sound she pictured more than a thousand times in her dreams at a fevered pitch along with her own.

“Vivian?” His rumbling whisper brought her out of her haze as she turned to meet those eyes that often haunted her dreams. She tucked a strand of her chestnut hair behind her ear and smiled softly.

“Yes, your grace?”

“Please, not ‘your grace’. Never to you my pet.”

“Then what shall I call you if not your title. I am but a servant, nothing more. It is respect that I offer you.” She bowed her head and made to stand but he was in front of her when she looked up and opened her eyes. His crisp white shirt wrinkled a bit was tucked into his brown slacks, his feet were bare and his raven hair was turning gray throughout, a signal of his transition into adulthood. He looked none of his 98 years and he was a stunning man. Tall, lean and fit; wonderfully sculpted.

“Here in this place we are but two people, two souls to the universe. Here I am not royalty or another species; I am simply a male looking upon a beautiful female.” He placed his hand under her chin and lifted her eyes to his. “A male who wishes to show you the depths of the earth and beyond.”

“I do not think it wise, my Lord. It is against rules and customs brought down by the council. You are a rarity amongst your species and I am but only human.” She tilted her head away from his gentle grip looking around the lushly filled library. The shelves over stacked with books on just about every subject to date, books of fact and fiction, books of history and present. The solid oak cases they were housed in and the two tables in the back that had several papers scattered on the surface. A pressure brought her gaze back to his as his silver-blue eyes flashed white then back again, his face a contorted expression of pure hunger.

“I know what you are, and I know what I am. These things are irrelevant to me as the way water clings to you after you leave the bath basin.” He replied smoothly. “Though this feeling for you I cannot shake. You are fire to my body, lighting me up in ways that I have never experienced before.” He got closer to her. “I cannot fight it any longer.”

“If you give up now, your fight will be in vain.” She struggled with the words trying to move away from him as he invaded her personal space. Making it hard to breathe. “You were once with Lady Margret, why did you turn her away?”

“She was not for me.” Was his soft reply as he tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. His touch lighting up her skin. “I was merely a meal for her. Being used is not love.”

“Perhaps not, but you could’ve had a mate.” She backed away from him and sidestepped his frame to return her book.

“It would have been empty. I do not wish to spend my life empty, Vivian.” He was still facing where he stood. “I know you feel it too.”

“I need sleep, and you should be sleeping soon. You are awake too often.” Vivian watched as he faced her again, his gaze solemn. “When was the last time you fed?”

“Two years ago, Margret’s last visit to shore.” He stated without feeling. “I have no desire to feed from any female…” His eyes turned to hers. “My heart beats, and my hunger is only for you.”

“I will be leaving soon, Vincent. The council has promised me passage since is it my second year of service. You will be free of your hunger.”

“That is where you are most decidedly wrong my sweet girl.” He grasped her wrist gently, closing his fingers around snugly and pulling her towards him once more. “I shall never forget the hunger I have for you and I know you have the same hunger in your soul begging to be free.”

“Good night, your grace.” Her voice was soft as she slipped free of his grasp and walked out of the room, shutting the door quietly behind her.

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Her body was still alive with heated fire as she made her way silently down the hall to her quarters in the silence of early morning. A door opened and she saw Lady Marie come out of Lord Jonathan’s room. Her nightdress billowing behind her along with her robe.

“Ah, Vivian…what brings you out here in the middle of the night?” Came her soft voice, calm and vibrant she walked towards her.

“Was coming from the library, my Lady. Is there something I could do for you?”

“Oh no dear child, not at all. I hear that dear Vincent has taken an interest in you.” Was her whispered reply. “I wouldn’t be weary of him, he’s a kind male.”

“But I am human, Lady Marie. It is forbidden.”

“Only if the council knows. Vincent is not a normal man, not by any means. But he is more honorable than one. Treasure his interest in you, do not waste it.”

“Yes, my lady.”

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His body hummed and his fangs ached. John was right about the hunger, it did consume you. The time without feeding caused him more trouble since the pain doubled and his body trembled with the force. He was lucky he made it to his room before he keeled over in the hallway. Dawn was approaching; he could tell by the way his body was preparing for sleep. However, with every single nerve ending responding to her presence it was going to be a fairly difficult task to get to sleep.

She had been right about her two years service, and he’d felt every single one of those days grating on his taxed body. He remembered when he first saw her out in the garden, her elegant hands tending to the roses; her thumb pricked by a thorn. The smell of her blood was crisp and heady, a mixture of strength and passion. He so wanted to make himself known at that time but decided against it. Vincent could picture it in his minds eye just as clearly as if it happened yesterday.

The sun reflecting her dark curls casting her face into shadow, the smudges of dirt on her pale blue gown; even the simple way that she brought her gloved hand to wipe away the sweat that accumulated on her brow. She had removed the glove to test the weight of the flower she was going to cut and use.

His body arched upward as he groaned in pain and pleasure alike. The fisting heat like a coal burning engine that kept getting hotter to the touch. Fangs punching through their housings as he swiveled his hips with a hiss. It was clear to him in that very moment that he had found his mate and no one, not even the council was going to tell him otherwise.

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“She is human, Marie. Honestly you know the repercussions if the council were to find out? How could you feed her false hope?” John paced the space in front of the bed as his bride to be lay before him in her crisp lavender evening gown.

“It was not false hope, John. Surely you must know the chemistry between dear Vincent and young Vivian? How is love wrong? You, yourself, have your own sins for the council. My origins being one of them. Not even your brother knows about where I really came from.” She sighed softly. “He needs happiness just as much as the next man, who am I to deny him that…deny her.”

“She will grow old, eventually die.” He sighed. “A human’s life is at least one sixth of ours. I’d hate to hypothesize what the loss would do to him if they were ever bled.”

For a moment he paused and looked at her form, her eyes calming him as she spoke. “Surely you must feel it between them? He’s already chosen her, my love. She was his the moment he first set eyes on her, just as I was to you.”

“The power?”

“The meeting of two souls that are meant to become one.” He sat beside her as she continued. “The spirits have spoken and no one, not even the council, can interfere. Not with Vincent, he’s one of the only pure bloods still in existence.”