Chapter 6: The Caged Demon

Edward's POV

It was pointless to try and hide my inner conflict from Jasper. There was probably enough tension radiating from me to physically knock him down. Although he had purposely suggested a hunt to help me, I began to feel guilty that Jasper was absorbing what I was putting myself though. If this demon inside of me craved the bitter taste of human blood on its tongue, I couldn't allow it to tempt Jasper as well. Shortly after we had fed, I insisted that he go back to the house without me, and he had obeyed without further discussion.

Crouched on the edge of a rocky gorge, I stared down at the river below, watching the gently falling rain disrupt its surface into a thousand ripples. I'd been perched there for more than an hour, motionless, with my expression twisted by anguish. I was feeling like some kind of damned gargoyle. My mind was restless and cluttered, and I prayed that by remaining still that my thoughts would follow suit, but they only managed to grow darker along with the fading light of day.

Despite my stillness, a sense of vertigo dizzied me. It was as if I were trapped at the center of a balance scale that swung continuously back and forth, like a teeter totter of what should weigh more heavily on my conscience. On one side there was the guilt of killing an innocent boy, and on the other was my unrelenting craving for blood. Human blood. My guilt over Ethan I could understand, but what bothered me about the craving was that I'd managed to resist the urge to feed on humans for decades, so why was this plaguing me so badly now? The drizzle became a downpour, streaking down the bars that trapped me in my prison.

As I deliberated, a brisk gust of wind carried with it something I was hoping to avoid. Ethan's scent hung in the air as if was purposely taunting me; his ghostly cobalt stare boring into mine. Reflexively tensing, I broke my immobility by digging my fingers into the rock. Bits of stone chipped away from beneath my nails and fell from the cliff. The scent of his blood was like acid deteriorating my will. I braced myself as the demon inside me reacted hungrily; snapping its jaws, salivating, swiping its outstretched arm beyond the cage that was my own body. I worried about this encasing. Would it have the strength to keep this monster contained, or would it eventually claw its way out?

Clenching my jaws together, I shut my eyes tightly and forced myself to hold my breath in order to ignore the tempting aroma. My fingers curled into my palms, having completely dug through the rock which crumbled into dust within my grasp. I hated this monster that I was becoming and I was adamant about not letting it get the better of me. What I had done was for Bella, and I needed to concentrate on that.

So I pictured her face. I thought of every line, every curve; every last detail down to her eyelashes and the thin creases in her lips. I thought of the way her soft brown hair felt between my fingers and how her warm lips felt against my cold skin. I thought about the first time I heard her whisper my name in her sleep; the first time my lips met hers; the first time I told her I loved her; and the day I placed the ring on her finger when I asked her to be my bride. Bella provided me with everything that I lacked in my damned existence: Warmth. Life. Purpose. She was the essence of everything pure; of everything that made me happy.

My eyelids parted when I felt a tug at the corners of my lips, and realized that I was smiling. These reminders of my love had whipped the bloodthirsty hellion back toward the farthest corner of its cage. I relaxed my fists and stood upright, raking my fingers back through my drenched hair. Feeding on the buck had helped subdue my immediate hunger, and my irises must have taken on its golden shade by now. The hollow ache in my stomach had ebbed enough to allow me to regain some control over myself. It wasn't gone, only pushed under the rug, but it was good enough for now. I wondered if I would be able to speak with Bella more comfortably now without Alice feeling the need to intervene. I did promise her a talk when I got back, after all.

Suddenly Bella's absence was more painful to me than the burdens that had begun to possess me. I ached to be with her again and I prayed that I would have the strength to keep myself in check. I had to ensure her safety above anything else. I needed to abolish any doubts that I could harm her in any way, and that applied both for her mind as well as my own. But what sort of precautions could I take? Shackles? A straight jacket? Maybe a steel-guarded mask, Hannibal Lector-style? A grimace screwed up my face. It seemed like I didn't trust myself enough after all.

I doubled back to my thoughts about how Alice had been acting around me earlier; weary of my actions, confused about what I was going to do... Maybe she was the answer. She could be one step ahead of me — warn me if I were to ever do something I would later regret. Maybe instead of being defensive toward her, I could swallow my pride and use her warnings to my advantage. And then there was also Jasper who had bestowed his gift onto me for the same reasons. Although I was proud and stubborn, and didn't particularly like my options, it was either ask for help or suffer in silence and risk threatening Bella's safety. Alice and Jasper would most likely intervene anyway, but at least maybe this way I wouldn't feel like it was an ambush.

A low rumble of thunder rolled in the distance and the rain kept pummeling down. With a heavy sigh, I turned from the cliff and began to run back through the darkening forest, ignoring the two crimson eyes that glowed from the shadows of the cage.

Instead of running directly home, I decided to make a detour to bleed another unsuspecting deer just for good measure. I wasn't particularly hungry for it, but my over-thinking of my dilemma had made me paranoid about my restraint, and it couldn't hurt to take extra precautions. I had managed to drink enough so that I didn't feel I would need sustenance for at least a week.

The sky was pitch black by the time I reached the house and the rain had reduced to a light misting. I was surprised to discover Bella's truck parked in the driveway, but before I had the chance to wonder about it, my eyes were drawn to the front door as it swung open. My tiny sister smiled at me kindly as she held the door open with one hand.

"I'm glad you came to your senses," Alice said, obviously acquainted with my intentions of asking for her help. She lifted her free hand out in front of her, inviting me to take it. "You feeling okay?" she asked as I started walking up the front steps toward her.

Drops of water fell from my hair and rolled down my temples as I shook my head hesitantly from side to side. "I'm not so sure," I whispered honestly. When I reached the top landing, I took her little hand in mine. "Maybe a little... For now." My voice faltered on my last words. I didn't like to admit that I could possibly be a danger to the one I loved. I didn't want to believe it.

Alice gave my hand a little squeeze. I forced a smile and hooked my arm around her shoulder, pulling her body against mine and kissed the top of her head sweetly. "I don't want to hurt her, Alice," I mumbled against her hair.

"I know you don't," she replied softly.

The front door opened a little wider and Jasper appeared from behind it, watching me with a tentative smile. My eyes fixed on him in humbled appreciation.

"Thank you," I said to them both. Jasper nodded once and Alice squeezed at my hand again.

"Bella's in your room," Alice noted.

I released her from my arms and peered down questioningly, embarrassed to form the words I wanted to ask.

"It's okay, Edward. You won't hurt her." She smiled reassuringly and reeled me into the foyer by my wrist. "Go," she encouraged me as Jasper shut the front door behind us. "She's waiting for you."

Apparently Alice was more sure of me than earlier, which was somewhat comforting. I gave her a small nod and she grinned again before turning to leave. After kissing Jasper on the cheek, she sauntered away, her heels clicking confidently against the tiles beneath her.

I was happy with my decision to enlist in my siblings' support. I was already feeling more at ease with myself. Of course, due to my erratic behavior during the hunt earlier, I was under suspicion to believe that what I was feeling was entirely fabricated.

Looking to Jasper, my theory was confirmed. My ability to read it in his thoughts wasn't even necessary; my proof was plastered all over his face. Even though I willingly sought his help, he still felt guilty for essentially putting a leash on my demeanor.

He lowered his eyes from mine and started to walk after Alice when I stopped him, placing my hand around his arm. "Hey, I'm sorry about earlier — the thing with the deer. I... wasn't myself," I explained, hoping to clear the air between us.

Jasper frowned and shook his head slowly before meeting my gaze, looking as if he was trying to formulate the proper words to relay his thoughts. "You don't have to explain yourself, Edward," he sighed. "But just know... I don't mean to make you feel like you're unable to control yourself. Alice told me this is what you would want. My intention for helping you is not because I believe that you are weak," he uttered sincerely.

"Thank you, Jasper. I appreciate that." I replied.

If only I could hold as much confidence in myself as my brother and sister had for me.

He disappeared into the next room and I was left to my own, still effected by his empathy. But it didn't bother me. I needed to be in control of myself, and at this point it didn't matter to me how it was achieved. Alice and Jasper were all the insurance I needed for now, at least until I could get a better understanding of myself.

My attention was drawn toward the floor above me when I heard a wistful sigh escape past Bella's lips. She was waiting for me. I walked the short distance to the staircase then paused on the first step. As eager as I was to see her, I couldn't completely shake off the nervousness that claimed me, even through Jasper's hold. I knew that the only thing that would absolutely guarantee her safety would be my absence, but I made the mistake of leaving her once and I wouldn't doom myself to repeat it. I had learned my lesson. Leaving her was not an option — not unless she cast me away. I had made that promise to her and I would never break it.

So, I had to stay strong... for her.

I lifted my eyes up to the top of the staircase and resumed my climb.

It was time to face her.

Bella's POV

Holding Carlisle's black umbrella awkwardly over my head, I struggled with my other hand to open the passenger side door of my truck while simultaneously carrying a large plastic garbage bag. It contained all of Edward's blood-stained clothing which I planned to take home with me and dispose of later. The last thing Edward needed was to be greeted with the scent of Ethan's blood when he came back to his room; to be reminded of the horror he was forced to carry out. I wanted to do whatever I could to help alleviate as much of his torment as possible.

Once I finally managed to open the door, I flung the bag onto the floor mat and slammed the heavy door shut once again, trapping the evidence inside. Taking care not to trip over my own feet as I climbed the front steps, I hurried back inside, making my way back upstairs to Edward's room to await his return. Unsure what to do with myself, I sat on the floor and leaned back against the side of the bed, pulling my knees up against my chest.

It was very quiet in the Cullen household, almost as if I was the only one within its walls. Even the misting of rain was too light to make any noise against the windows to distract me from my racing mind. I began to fidget, picking at a loose thread in the fabric of my jeans until it caused a small hole in the seam. My thoughts quickly became deafening inside the encompassing silence. One thing in particular bothered me more than anything — The warning that I got from both Alice and Jacob: Just be careful... Be safe.

I frowned and shook my head at the collective advice, scratching harder against the shorn seams of my jeans. I wasn't surprised to hear it from Jake, but for Alice, with all her pre-cognitive abilities, to tell me that Edward could harm me was still quite unsettling, even though I refused to believe it.

No. She had to be wrong. Edward's ultimate decision would always be to protect me, I resolved adamantly. Always.

My heart suddenly felt as if it was crumbling within the confines of my chest. I sighed heavily as I yearned for Edward to be in my arms again.

It was only a few short moments later that my desire was finally granted. If I wasn't facing the bedroom door however, I would have never noticed that Edward had appeared. His footfalls had been completely silent. I stood immediately as he paused in the doorway.

"Hi," I greeted simply, curiously scanning him in an attempt to get a read on his demeanor.

His eyes had returned to their golden shade again but his expression was unreadable. I smiled hesitantly as I wondered what was going through his mind.

Edward inhaled a slow deep breath before taking a step in my direction. Whether it was to compose himself or simply to breathe the flavor of the air around me, I chose to ignore. In three strides he was directly before me. Wordlessly wrapping his arms around to my back, Edward reeled me against his chest in a tight embrace. My own arms lifted automatically to rest on top of his shoulders, and in that moment, all my qualms vanished as the comforting action soothed me and confirmed my trust in him. This was no act of a man that was to be feared.

His cheek was pressing against my temple and I thought I heard him whispering something, but his words were too low for me to hear. Before I could speak, he tilted my face to his and molded his cool lips tenderly against mine.

The action caught me by surprise. He kissed me with a quiet desperation; slowly yet achingly. I moved my hands from his shoulders to his face, lightly touching the edge of his jaws with my fingertips, feeling their light movements as his mouth opened and closed repeatedly around my bottom lip.

Although we were connected for only a moment, I was still breathless when he pulled away. The sound of my light panting was the only noise that broke the silence between us.

After a few short moments, Edward looked down between our bodies. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make you wet," he murmured apologetically.

I blinked. It took my mind a second to recover until I realized that his clothes had been drenched by the rain, dampening the front of my own shirt as we were pressed together. "It's fine," I replied breathily, an awkward smile pulling at my lips.

"I just really needed to hold you. I needed to know..." he trailed off, keeping his eyes downcast.

"Edward?" I implored, searching for his gaze.

He held me out to arms length and sighed. "I needed to know if you'd still let me hold you," he revealed. His expression pained as though the words had physically hurt as he spoke them.

My eyebrows fell into a saddened arch. Instead of replying I took a fistful of the front of his soaked t-shirt and pulled him back against me. Hanging both my arms around his neck, I lifted myself onto my toes so I could lay my lips next to his ear. "Edward Cullen, don't you ever think differently. I love you. No matter what happens, I will love you. Forever." And I sealed my words with a lingering kiss to his cheek.

A small smile played at the corner of his lips. "That's good to hear," he said, but conviction lacked somewhat in his tone. I knew it was probably because he was just tense about everything that had happened, so I decided to disregard it and just place a second kiss at the line of his jaw instead.

He gently stroked the back of my head before pulling away from me again. "Let me get into some dry clothes."

I nodded and sat down on the edge of the bed directly behind me.

Edward then turned his back to me to head toward his closet, reaching both his arms back over his shoulders. After pulling his wet t-shirt up and over his head, he dropped it from his hands. It fell heavily, making a wet slopping sound as it met the floor.

The impact of the mere vision of him being half-naked hit me just as heavily. The sight of him in his state of undress never failed to impress me, though I'd only seen him this way a small handful of times. My eyes were drawn to the bare skin of his back like magnets. I forged a slow path with my eyes upward over the groove along the column of his spine, then wandered them meticulously across the top of his shoulders, admiring his strong, sturdy frame and shapely arms that hung down at each side. Considering our situation, I couldn't help but feel a tad guilty about enjoying myself by letting my eyes wander over his statuesque build, but I was caught in a trance; hypnotized by this perfect image of strength and virility.

His unmistakable powerful build wrapped in satin-smooth white skin was an enigma that excited me. I licked over my bottom lip, momentarily dazzled by his lithe movements as he simply walked across to the other end of his bedroom. The uncertainty in his demeanor was absent in his gait as he moved with an animalistic grace. I was almost disappointed that his closet wasn't further away. His pale skin glistened with the thin sheen of moisture that lightly coated it, and I watched with intrigue at the unconscious movement of the sinewy muscle that surrounded his right shoulder blade as he reached inside his closet. He pulled a grey full-zip hooded sweatshirt from a hanger and slipped his left arm inside the sleeve, spinning around to face me as he proceeded to insert his right arm in the other.

My breath caught in my throat and I stared at his bare chest beneath the sweatshirt which he had left unfastened. My gaze travelled up the front of his stone physique that was carved straight from female fantasy. He was so beautiful. From his tapered waist, his hard stomach and up to the smooth planes of his marble chest, I couldn't pull my eyes from him. Their journey ended at the little shadow in the hollow at the base of his throat, lingering there until I noticed that he had become completely motionless.

My eyes snapped upward to his and embarrassment by being caught staring caused a blush that swiftly warmed my cheeks.

Edward seemed oddly distressed. "What's wrong?" he asked, his fists clenching together tightly.

I frowned at the strange question, looking curiously at his balled fists. "What do you mean? Nothing. Why?" My words expelled too quickly, still flustered by being caught in my selfish enjoyment.

"Your heart. It's racing a mile a minute."

I raised my head a fraction of an inch in reaction to the bizarre sound in his voice. Was he speaking through gnashed teeth? I bit my lip and failed to resist another quick glance at his bare chest before peering questioningly into his narrowed golden stare.

It was all the response Edward needed. In a blindingly fast, disconcerting movement, he joined the zipper in front of his sweatshirt and pulled it upward to cover himself from my view. In another swift motion he was on the opposite end of the room again, taking a pair of dry jeans and boxer shorts in his grasp. He avoided my eyes and walked at human pace to his door. "I'll be right back," he uttered to me over his shoulder, and disappeared down the hallway.

I was left staring at the empty space in the doorway with a stupefied expression on my face, wondering what the hell had just happened.

A/N: Comments = love! Please leave one!

Many thanks to Bratty-Vamp. Topless Edward would not have been the same without your help :)