(Once again, this story is now being hosted at The Wordpile, a much more pleasant reading experience. Stories are posted there first, so an alert from FF is an alert for the blog. I'm also working on making quality only fanfic collection there. It's only just started, but if that intrigues you, do come and join the ride.)

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Chapter Twelve: Where Strength Fails

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For Sakura to get a reasonable amount of rest not only meant not cooking for the others but not cooking for herself either. Rin had survived more than enough dinners on her own before she’d become part of their group to put together an simple but edible lunch. Frankly, she felt that – practicality of the moment aside – it was good for Sakura to be occasionally reminded that she did not have to be the one to cook, and that what’s more, it was not necessary for every meal to be gourmet. You could take a break every once in a while, honestly. Or so she grumbled to herself as she cooked.

Forty five minutes later when Sakura came down, she seemed much better, enough so that when she moved to serve, Rin let her. It soothed her impulses.

“You know, it’s been a while since we ate together, just us like this.”

Rin paused. Now that she mentioned it, this was true. “I thought you liked all the company.”

“I do. But it is nice to have a just us meal, isn’t it?”

Rin smiled. “I suppose so. Especially if I’m going to move out one day.”

“What! Rin, when? Why?”

“No no, not like that. I don’t have a date or schedule or anything. I just meant that when you do get married I’ll have to go.”

“Wh—of course not! Don’t be silly Rin, of course you can stay! I wouldn’t tell you to—”

“You’ll be a new bride, Sakura,” Rin said quietly. “And he a new groom, to you no less. If he’s someone you fell in love with I’m sure he wouldn’t tell me to either, but do you really think it will be that simple? You’ll need privacy, Sakura, and I certainly don’t intend to hang around to spoil it.”

“But…” Badly as she wanted to, Sakura didn’t seem to know what to say.

Rin smiled, and covered her hand with hers.

“That’s how it goes with families, Sakura. Once they start growing, they just keep going, and they need room. So they have to move apart for a while. But eventually they grow till those empty spaces are filled with new faces, and then it’s all right again. Knowing you, I’m sure it won’t take too long. I’ll only be going back to my house, you know.”

“Is that why you’ve been studying and constructing the spell there?”

“I can’t let this place be the center of my work anymore. Sooner or later, it’s going to be your house again. That’s how it has to be. You said it yourself love. I know that’s not ever what you meant, but in the end, that’s what you said. You’re going to make your own life again. That’s part of what that means, that’s all. I’ll be right there.”

“Promise?”

Rin smiled. “Got any reliable way to stop me?”

Sakura laughed. “I guess not.” But she had to wipe her eyes before she started eating again.

“So…” she said after a minute, clearly wishing to shift the mood. “Shirou’s gotten stronger again, hasn’t he? I hadn’t thought it was safe for him to use a technique like that because it drains his mana.”

“It wasn’t,” Rin said, staring at her chopsticks.

“Heh? Then – he borrowed a jewel from you? Or…”

“He has a new supply of mana,” Rin said, voice flat. “From Arturia.”

Sakura’s eyes went wide. “She…she bonded with him? Like Saber with Shirou, except…sort of the other way around? That’s…I mean…so, she already trusts him that much? That’s wonderful! Maybe she’ll stay after all.”

“She didn’t…didn’t agree to it,” Rin whispered, her chopsticks straining in her clenched fingers. “She…just…”

“Rin! Rin what…what’s the matter?”

“It’s my fault,” she whispered hoarsely. Then she lost it: her gaze snapped up to lock with Sakura’s, wide and vulnerable as only Sakura ever saw them. “Oh g-d help me Sakura, it’s my fault! I had no idea what I was doing, this shouldn’t have been possible…I had no idea—”

“Rin, Rin stop crying at me Rin, you’re making me panic! Just explain already.”

“It’s my fault.” The anguish she couldn’t show to anyone else poured out; she rose out of her seat and gripped Sakura’s shoulders frantically, eyes wide and desperate. “Don’t you get it, it’s my fault! Idid it. I bound their souls, during the War! I fused Shirou’s circuits into her, as Saber, and now she still has them! And that means she’ll never not have them. It was just so she wouldn’t die…just so we could fight Berserker…but, instead I changed her soul forever! She’s going to carry those extra circuits for all of time, and it’s my fault! I changed her…as good as against her will I changed her…and I can’t even undo it, I don’t know how. I can barely look her in the eye. I can’t tell her. I can’t even ask forgiveness from her! Don’t you get it? Of course I’m crying!”

She slumped back into her seat, only narrowly avoiding putting her forehead into her bowl instead of against the table edge. “I changed a soul. I’ve been trying so hard to be different, to change what kind of a magician I was, I thought it was working – and now this comes back to haunt me. It’s no use, is it? I…I can’t be pure, like you. I’ll always have blood….even when I try…it’ll always come back to me, won’t it? All this knowledge, all the history, everything I used to call my legacy – it’s all dark and bloodstained and selfish and cruel. And I can’t wash it away…I can’t wash it away at all. It’s a curse…one I don’t have what it takes to change. Because it’s a part of me.”

For a long moment, Sakura was silent. The room, large and meant to sit many more, echoed faintly to Rin’s soft sobbing. Then she chuckled, and put a hand on her arm. “You can be really silly sometimes, you know that Rin? For someone so sensible.”

Rin’s face snapped up in shock. This was not what she had expected to hear. Unperturbed, Sakura stirred her bowl. “Me, I don’t really believe in all this blood you think you’re carrying around. Even G-d smites people sometimes, you know. Being pure doesn’t mean being a pacifist. All this sin and blood and darkness…I don’t really get it at all.”

“But…a soul…you really don’t get it do you? It’s not even supposed to be possible! I changed a soul. Don’t you understand how terrible that is?”

“And that’s why I say for someone so sensible, you can be very silly. All that talk to Shirou about taking on too much responsibility, and here you go.”

“But—”

“You said it was impossible, didn’t you?”

“It’s supposed to be…but they’re there, Sakura, there’s no other way it could have happened.”

“I’m sure they are there. So now we know for sure. I think I’m glad, actually.”

“But—!”

“Rin,” Sakura said gently. “Did it ever occur to you that the reason Shirou’s circuits are still there might not have anything to do with you at all?”

“If you ask me,” Sakura said, returning her gaze to her food. “I think her soul just didn’t want to let go. They were so very much in love, after all. Those two.”

***

He might be in love with her, but that didn’t mean he understood her. At least not all the time.

Up until now, it had been she who had been counseling calm, reigning things in and working with a steady, sustained determination to create the map and interpret it. She’d always been like that: an intense, contained drive that was all the stronger for the discipline she bound it with. As Saber, she’d had her reckless moments, times when the compressed fire she carried drove her to over-shoot and endanger herself. But now…he didn’t know what to think. Except that he didn’t like it. Something was wrong, and he couldn’t begin to understand what.

Technically she was doing just what she’d been doing yesterday, and the day before. Filling in details and putting in pins on the map as the locals gave her the information. It was the way she was doing it: there was a brittle tension, an unsettled snappish energy in her movements. Her eyes seemed to have a certain hard glazed gleam that made him think of a thin metal bubble – it shone the right color, but you could tell how shallow it really was. She wasn’t driving herself. She was being driven by something, some thought or fear not directly connected to the work, but that she was trying to exorcise through it. But he couldn’t figure out where it had come from, so suddenly.

It hurt to watch her.

“What did you find?” Arturia’s voice broke in.

Shirou shook himself. “The usual traces. About as fresh as they should be. As always, not enough. He never lets them layer trails for long, and they always use rooftops and things…”

“So.” Arturia did some swift scribbling and shifted a pin. “Just a moment, I’ve made a list of places to check next.”

“…Yes.”

“Is something wrong?”

“Ah—” Shirou stalled. “Umm…the locals…are acting a little different around me, aren’t they? It’s a little strange.” It was true, but he’d been too worried about Arturia to really wonder.

Arturia cast a quick eye over the crowd. “Awe, I think.”

“Beg pardon?”

“You haven’t been talking with them much, and have been doing all the legwork. I think they somehow got into their heads that you were my…sidekick, I suppose.”

“Side…kick…” Shirou said slowly, sounding out the unfamiliar English word.

Arturia noticed his confusion and frowned. “Have you ever seen a western?”

“Ummm, no.”

“Then…how to put it…well, technically, it refers to a close friend of the hero who accompanies and helps him or her.”

“Oh. Well, that’s not really so far off is it? They know better now.”

“They certainly do, but no, I meant a different kind of sidekick. The kind that’s always much weaker than the hero. He’s someone who does all the less heroic things that need to get done, while the main character takes the spotlight.”
“Wait a minute…” Shirou said slowly. “You mean like…like those little heroes in training who follow the main guy around to help out?”

“Err…yes, something like that…except of course you’re obviously much older and more experienced.”

“….me?”

“You haven’t really been talking with them, it’s not like they’ve had a chance to get to know you. They didn’t have any way of knowing you’re too strong for that.”

“Well, I wouldn’t go that far,” Shirou said automatically.

“Ten square yards of ravaged concrete say otherwise, Shirou. If you wanted to argue, you shouldn’t have left such impressible evidence. Besides, I meant strength of character. You’re too sure of your own purpose to let anyone else define it.”

Shirou blinked. “I hadn’t thought of it that way.”

“You’re a good team player, but you’ll never be a follower Shirou. They probably still don’t realize that, but after today’s battle, they know you’re my better in strength.”

“Now that I definitely wouldn’t say.”

“No?”

“Of course not. For one thing…” Shirou’s voice trailed off, as he realized she hadn’t been talking to him, or to anyone in fact. Her eyes were tight and full with bitter bile, staring as if to burn holes through the paper in front of her. In her hand, the pencil creaked under the strain of her fingers.

“No. You are definitely…much more dependable than me. Much stronger…and better able to protect…”

“Arturia?”

“Ah-” she shook herself, tried to look normal. “I’m sorry I—I was just thinking…” she turned her head away again, staring down. “Perhaps it would be better…if you picked up Illya today. It’s best if I work on the map.”

“Don’t be silly. She’ll want to see you won’t she?”

“Please!”

“Arturia?”

“I…really think it would be better. Please.”

Shirou stared. There were a dozen things he wanted to say, and even more questions he wanted to ask. But none of them could be said or asked here.

“…all right.”

***

For a moment, poor Hiragi-san had a terrible double take as wild thoughts of Sakura having cloned and come to work expecting two positions and two salaries scampered through her over-stressed head. Then she registered the difference in clothes, and then in expression and bearing. Whoever this other woman was, she was clearly a close relative of Sakura. But she was equally clearly of an entirely different nature. She almost seemed to quietly shout ’strong woman of character.’ Out of habit, Hiragi’s assumptions were morose.

“I am very sorry if I have offended or wronged by accepting her request for work,” she said, seeking to head off an exhausting confrontation with more willpower than she cared to match. She was rather sorry though. The girl was a natural, the children had been asking about her all morning. “I was fully aware that her stature was above the humble work offered here, and will accept—”

“I didn’t even say anything yet,” the new woman said. Her voice was deeper and richer than Sakura’s, and – more importantly at the moment to Hiragi’s point of view – did not sound as if she’d planned any kind of confrontation. Hiragi allowed herself to relax slightly.

“My apologies. Welcome to Hiragi Day Care.”

The woman looked at Sakura. “Do I have my intimidating face on? I was sure I didn’t have my intimidating face on.”

“I’m afraid you’re always at least a little bit intimidating, Rin.” Sakura said.

“Not that much. She took one look and panicked.”

“Hiragi-san worries a lot. Oh, I’m sorry. Hiragi-san, this is my older sister Rin. Rin, this is Hiragi-san, my employer. She manages this place.”

“Nice to meet you. I think the hordes are coming.”

“…what?”

“Well, technically that child was yelling ’she’s here, she’s here’ as he went, but somehow it sounds a lot like ‘charge, my brethren’ to me.”

“Oh dear,” Sakura said, smiling. “I guess they were looking forward to seeing me.”

“They’ve been asking about you all morning,” Hiragi said. “We finally agreed they could post a lookout.” The woman – Rin’s – good humor had her more or less reassured at this point. Which was a relief. She hated new things to worry about.

“If it were anyone else I’d be surprised at that, in only one day. Incoming.”

“Wh—awwoof!”

“Sakura-nee!”

“Yes, yes I’m here,” Sakura said, laughing helplessly as she knelt.

“They’ve been very anxious to see you,” Abraxas said in his soft rumble, emerging from around the corner with his customary adornment of squirming amateur mountain climbers.

Rin took a long, slow moment to eye him. “That,” she said finally. “Is not fair. That is not fair at all. I walk in and she panics, but she lets you among the children. I didn’t think we had bears that size in Japan.”

“I’m Greek.”

“There either.”

“Abra-kun isn’t a bear, he’s a tree,” a child hanging half on, half off Abraxas’s left shoulder explained, clearly exasperated with Rin’s inability to grasp the obvious.

“My mistake,” Rin said, guessing this was one of those things that took a long time to explain and still wouldn’t make sense when they finished. “So what are you then?”

“I’m a plum,” the plum announced, clambering the rest of the way onto Abraxas the Tree’s shoulder to grab a hunk of hair and curl up around it in a passable attempt to imitate a dangling fruit.

“You can’t be a plum!” Another child yelped. “I want to be a peach and I can’t be on the same tree as you if you’re a plum!”

“Why not?”

“Because you can’t have two different fruits on one tree stupid!”

“I’m a very unusual tree,” Abraxas said. “I grow all kinds of things. But none of them are allowed to be stupid.”

“What kind of tree is that?”

“An Abraxas tree. I am the only one. That is why I look different from other trees, and people think I am bear.”

“Haha! Abraxas can’t be a bear, he doesn’t have fur or claws,” the plum laughed. This had no relevance to the fact that he didn’t have roots or leaves either. The tree identity was make-believe, and therefore sacrosanct.

Rin shook her head. “I guess I’ve seen this place alright,” she said ruefully. She turned to Hiragi. “I just wanted to see the place my sister was working. I’ll be leaving now.”

“You’re Sakura nee’s sister?”

Rin peered somewhat bemusedly at the round little girl face peering up from knee level. “Yes?”

“You’re much scarier looking than she is,” the face informed her.

“I am much scarier than Sakura,” Rin agreed solemnly. “Sakura is not scary at all, so it is very easy to be scarier than her.”

The child looked deeply impressed. “Do you…” she seemed to be struggling for some appropriately scary person question. “Do you…scare away bad guys?”

Rin found herself warming to the little thing despite herself. “Yes,” she said. “I am very scary to bad guys. I have to scare them away from Sakura all the time, since she’s not very scary.”

“They’re not bad Rin,” Sakura protested. “They’re just…rather enthusiastic…”

“Same difference,” Rin said equably. She was used to this argument.

Sakura shook her head helplessly. She was used to it too.

“So – so you protect Sakura nee from bad guys?” the very persistent girl face said, now looking ready to build a Tohsaka Rin shrine.

“Exactly,” Rin told her. “But I’ll protect other people too. Which reminds me that I have my own work to do. I’ll be going now. Behave for Sakura, got it?” she added to her attendee. The attendee nodded fervently.

“She’s…quite forceful, isn’t she?” Hiragi said after Rin had left.

“Yes she is,” Sakura admitted. “It’s a good thing really, most of the time, since I’m so bad at it. I really don’t know what I’d do without her.”

“Does she really go around chasing bad guys?” Hiragi asked with some trepidation.

“Well…she doesn’t go around doing it, exactly,” Sakura hedged. “But she’s really very capable of it. The family heads practice a unique form of Chinese Kempou. She’s very skilled.”

Hiragi decided she was very glad she did not have to worry about Tohsaka Rin.

***

When Issei got there, Rin already had most things set up.

“As I said,” she said as she paced the contours of the room she’d apparently chosen to place the spell in. “This spell is best imagined as a kind of magical radar, or perhaps a heat sensing array. It scans a certain area and shows where certain things are. What that sort of thing can be depends on what the magician wants, and how well he or she can input the information. That part is simple in our case: I want to detect the blood beasts, and I’ll use more blood to teach it the ’scent’. No problem there. What’s more complicated is the manner of detection. The larger the area, the more you have to think about this. For a small area such as, say, this house and its grounds, it’s fairly simple. The spell can easily cover such a space with no blank spots, and since the area defined is small and well known to the caster, the lack of indicators within the spell itself to help pinpoint exact locations isn’t an issue. Obviously, both of these issues become exponentially more troublesome the larger the area you want to monitor. Or at least, I assume it’s obvious?” she added, stopping to look over at him.

Issei nodded. He’d taken up residence against the wall, leaning back with his hand on his chin, expression showing that not only was he paying attention, he was doing so with great and unfeigned interest. Unconsciously responding to that, Rin took a position against the wall opposite him instead of resuming her pacing, meeting his eyes and talking straight to him.

“For that reason, it’s rarely attempted for an area too much larger than, say, about five blocks radius. You see where this becomes a rather ambitious project, as I want to cover a significant portion of the city. We have two hurdles to overcome. One is how to cast the spell so that it will effectively cover all the space it’s supposed to. The other is to be able to make use of what it tells us, meaning when it detects a blood beast, I need to be able to tell where in the city it’s originating from. I’ve solved the second half of the problem, more or less, though I’ve only just started here.”

Issei frowned at the floor under their feet. There was an outline embedded in it, not in a circle or any other shape, but in a kind of random squiggle that reminded one strongly of a… “A map,” he said. “You’re putting a map into the floor, and you’ll cast the spell within it. Instead of changing the spell to solve the problem, you’ll layer it over a more natural solution. Very neat.”

“Thank you. It’s still quite difficult though. The scale has to be just right, and I can’t just cast a spell to carve it out – I have to know what the map will look like before I start. In short, I can skip all the long hours of careful chiseling – and the consequences of slipping – but not the sketches and plans. For now I’ve put down some basic delineations to help. I want to get the spell part done now.”

“So how are you solving the power problem? Or is it a matter of power?”

“Power can be used to solve it, and my family specializes, among other things, in the storing of mana in objects for later use. Extremely practical for an attempt such as this, since instead of focusing all the power here and trying to push it ever farther out, I can place some of the stones – mana is best stored in precious or semi-precious stone – at intervals throughout the intended area to extend the spell, which is actually much more efficient. Which is why I hadn’t worried about it. But you’ve given me a better idea.”

“Which is?”

“If necessary, I can switch back to plan A, and use Jewels. But right now I’m wondering if I can get the spell to tap into the same awareness that you use. Your bond seems reasonably well developed. If I can plug the spell into that – or, perhaps more accurately, if I can convince Fuyuki, with your help, to ‘talk’ with the spell – it may well perform beyond all expectations, and be almost entirely independent of my own resources.”

“That seems even more ambitious than plan A.”

“It is. But ambition has always been a mage’s middle name.”

“Even yours?”

“…yes. Once. No, I still am. But different. Maybe more, now. In a way.”

Issei nodded. Some sentences weren’t meant to be unraveled. “It may be unnecessary…but I just wanted to say, now, that I don’t consider you responsible.”

For a moment, Rin just looked at him, eyes thoughtful. Then she held up her left hand, and rolled down the sleeve. With a thought, she sent the mage mark it held into glowing life, slowly revolving on her skin.

“This is the Tohsakan mage mark. Every family has one, every one is unique. Mage families are long, aloof, and prideful, and their mark is the symbol of it all – names, time, accomplishment, pride. When I accepted this mark from my father, I accepted the legacy it represents. By choice, I declared myself a mage of the Tohsakan family, to carry on its line and teachings as I would. To tell me that I am not responsible is impossible. To carry their pride, I must also carry their shame. I am a Tohsakan – all their acts are my burden. That is honor. That is a mage mark.”

“Because it is such a matter of pride, a mage learns to know the look of it intimately. By the time I was fifteen, fighting in the Grail war, I had come to know it so well I looked without looking, if you know what I mean. It was like those puzzle sentences that deliberately repeat a word in the middle. Because you know so well what it should be, you don’t see the mistake. So it wasn’t until I learned of my family’s deed and examined it that I realized. You can’t see it – you’d have to have known it before – but there is a pattern of marks that are missing. Somewhere in the war, or after, my changing feelings released your seal through this mark. As the only holder living, my will became fact. But it was there, Issei. There in this mark I accepted, and have carried with pride. That I still carry, and still, despite it all, with pride.”

“I am responsible, Issei, but that is not something that frightens me. I have chosen to reject the Grail: my responsibility, my choice. I have released your family, knowingly or not: my responsibility, my choice. And I will continue to watch and aid you to restore yourselves. That is my responsibility, and that is my choice: I will carry it without shame. So long as I do so, there is no cause for it. That, too, is the meaning of a mage mark.”

She let the marks fade, and pushed her sleeve back up. “It may not have been necessary,” she added quietly. “But I’m glad you brought it up anyway. I feel much better for having been able to say it clearly.”

“I’m glad. I was afraid I had unknowingly insulted you.”

“Not at all. In any case, this was good in more than one way. The more you trust me, the more likely this will work.” Her mouth twitched. “I give you my solemn vow not to bite.”

“Or poison me.”

“Same thing. No fangs.”

“Oath accepted.”

“Good. Then lets get started.”

***

Back at Hiragi’s, gameplay had resumed as usual. Abraxas was still moderately popular as a tree, never short of two or three fruit to display, but most of the other children had turned to a new game called ‘Rin vs. Bad Guys,’ involving two girls to play Rin and Sakura and a host of boys to play Bad Guys. The rest of the girls – and a few more innocent boys who didn’t like pretending to attack Sakura-nee – played horrified bystanders who cheered when Rin’s doppleganger won. By and large the boys seemed to enjoy their villainy as much as the girls enjoyed getting to be unusually heroic. One Minagi, known to Rin as ‘Endearing Face At Knee Level’ (or something like that), was both the ringleader and a hog for the Rin role. Sakura was torn between being deeply amused and being deeply annoyed.

“It’s not like that,” she said to Abraxas for the fifth time. “Rin’s incredibly overprotective about me. I’m surprised she didn’t give you a once-over just because you were male and in my vicinity.”

“The children probably had a disarming effect,” he said calmly. It took a very even temper to allow children to use you as a jungle gym.

“And that,” Sakura fumed. “Just try and catch her acting that way if any adult tried to flatter her, you’d worry more about the poor dunce that tried, but Minagi-chan goes up and says oh do you scare away bad guys and she just—”

“It’s only a game.”

Sakura sighed. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to overreact all over you.”

“The children are all over me. You are quite reserved. You do realize a large part of their enthusiasm is because they love you, so anyone who protects you is a hero?”

Sakura gave up and smiled. “Yes, I know. Though if that’s how it is, there’s at least one other they could be immortalizing.”

Abraxas raised an eyebrow. “So one boy made it through Rin after all?”

“Hu..no, no!” Sakura said, half laughing in surprise. It had been so long since she’d thought of him that way, she was actually startled when others came to the conclusion. “No, I stopped thinking that way of him a long time ago, but protecting people is just in his blood. He’ll fight for anything on two legs, and I wouldn’t be surprised to see him go for four if there was no one else around. It’s just how he is.”

“I see,” said Abraxas, eyes twinkling. “Perhaps he should come here, give the boys something to do other than be villains.”

Sakura, picturing Shirou here, couldn’t help smiling. “I think he’d enjoy that.”

She sighed softly. Looking around the room, there was a warmth in her middle that told her that many of the answers she sought were here. And yet, somehow, it still wasn’t quite right.

“It’s the context,” she murmured.

“Sorry?”

“Ahh,” Sakura said, flustered. “I was just thinking…do the children ever play outside here?”

“We used to, but we stopped a few weeks ago when the weather got colder. Why?”

“Well…” She paused. While she was not the kind of liar Rin was, she was good enough at it to get by, and as a rule acknowledged that, distasteful though it might sometimes be, it was by and large the better course. But now, somehow, she found herself ever so slightly tired of it. Perhaps it was because Abraxas was playing the same game with her, to some extent. No doubt he also had good reasons, but having it played back in front of her did something to her mouth when she tried to do it back. It tasted bad. Maybe she could half tell?

“Well,” she said. “It’s nothing serious really. It’s just…a feeling I’ve had lately.”

“A feeling?”

“Yes. Like – when you’re walking in the dark, and you suddenly feel that something is watching you; that there’s something dangerous lurking in the dark in some nook or alley you see every day. You know?”

Abraxas nodded.

“Well – for the last week or so the whole town has felt that way at night. And I don’t like it. So I don’t want the children out alone.”

“I see.”

“Like I said, it’s just a silly feeling, but I feel better knowing the children won’t be going outside.”

His expression didn’t change. “So you – do find those shadows frightening?”

Sakura stared, startled. “Yes. Doesn’t everyone?”

Abraxas looked away. Something distant and hard came into his eyes. “I have never been frightened by shadows. Because they have always seemed more frightened of me. It is natural, for one such as I.”

Sakura stared, now with a kind of horrified concern. “Abraxas…”

Suddenly she became aware that all the playing had stopped: twenty odd pairs of eyes stared with frightened solemnity at their caretakers.

“Abraxas,” she said, abruptly changing her voice. “Stop scaring the children. You’re a tree, remember?”

“I have decided I would like to be a woodcutter instead,” Abraxas said, picking up on the need to change the mood – and possibly the opportunity to avoid explaining. “They have all the fun, swinging axes around. I am going to cut myself down, and sell these fruits at market.”

And in the squealing that ensued as Abraxas gently pretended to make good his threat, the children forgot about the strange conversation.

But Sakura didn’t.

****

“Onii-chan? Where’s Arturia?”

“Back working on the map. Einzbern fooled Issei somehow. We had a fight and that was it.”

“I’m hearing some really big gaps in that explanation, Onii-chan. Really suspicious ones.”

“It was more like an ambush, and there were a lot, but there were a lot of us too, relatively speaking. We were never really pressed. I was probably the safest, actually. I used a new trick.” He couldn’t help looking pleased as he said it. It had, after all, worked perfectly, and impressed even Rin.

“That’s nice,” Illya said briskly, stomping on her brother’s pride in true sibling fashion. “So what about Arturia?”

“She’s fine. She didn’t get hurt either.”

“That’s not what I meant. Not that I’m not glad to see you Shirou, but didn’t she want to do it? I just sort of thought…”

Shirou sighed. “I know. Actually, I wanted to talk with you about that. She really is fine physically, but – something else is wrong. You’re much better at this than me.”

“Okay, go ahead then. From the beginning.”

So they walked, and Shirou cataloged the days events. Illya frowned.

“Saying you were stronger and more dependable…overworking…she asked you to meet me right after that…do you think she’s obsessing over last night, maybe?”

“But – that was last night. Why now?”

“Because there hasn’t been time, idiot. Remember? By the time Issei went home she’d probably forgotten for the moment. Now she’s started thinking about it again.”

Shirou sighed. “I see. I think you’re right. Damn. I hope it’s not my fault for insisting on walking you this morning.”

Illya punched him on the arm – sort of lightly. “Idiot. What have we told you about taking the blame for everything? She would have gotten around to it sooner or later, you know how she is.”

“True.”

“Well, you’ll just have to do your best, I suppose.”

“Sorry?”

“Well, I can’t talk to her about it can I? I’m the one she’s ashamed to meet. Besides…you’re just better for it, Shirou, if it’s her. You know that.”

Shirou smiled sadly. “Well, if you say so.”

“Good. So, what’s this about a new trick of yours? Does that mean you’re really getting mana from Arturia?”

“How do you know about that?”

“I found out that she always knows where you are – I figured out the rest. So? You wanted to tell me about it, right?”

Shirou chuckled. “I guess I did. Very kind of you to indulge me.”

“Very. So don’t drag it out.”

“Okay, I get you.”

*******

Authors Notes:
This one went pretty fast, once I got going. That is because I learned that if I stayed up until one thirty instead of twelve, I slept better and woke up better, often earlier. Bound to have an effect. Look forward to greatly increased pace of updates. If you are reading, or choose to read, this on the blog (www dot thewordpile dot com), I remind you all of the comments function, just as good as the review button and more accessible. Thanks.

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One: Families need room to grow. Again I call on the experience of my sister getting married and moving away. This is one of the things I came up with the night she was engaged, as I exorcised all my regrets and sorrows onto paper. After that I was able to celebrate and be properly happy for her, at least until the wedding night. Her first year anniversary was last week – as we had all pretty much expected, they are doing well together. My sister is much too wise in these things to marry the wrong guy.

Two: Rin’s insecurities are revealed, as only Sakura could ever hope to see them. Here is Rin’s true task to face in this story: the battle between what Shirou has taught her and what her family did. She’s strong, she can do it, but it’s not always easy. And perhaps the most terrifying thought of all is that to have truly succeeded, she must somehow pass it on to a heir.

Three: I think her soul just didn’t want to let go. Long in the waiting, at last unleashed for all you Saber x Shirou shippers to enjoy. I certainly enjoyed writing it. Next chapter should be split between Abraxas and Arturia x Shirou, after that, mostly them. At last.

Four: No, Arturia did NOT think Shirou had been asking her on a date. And he hadn’t been – ‘a restaurant’ simply meant ‘eat out’, as in ‘take a faster, easier way to eat and get on with things’. That was really frustrating: just what kind of sad anime rip off scene did you think I was trying to pull, eh? Don’t underestimate me!

Five: Sidekick? Rofl, that was fun.

Six: Have I mentioned how much I love writing children? Those parts of this chapter were so much fun…as was Rin’s reactions. Incoming, lol.

Seven: Chinese Kempou. It’s true, I didn’t make it up, I saw it while browsing the wiki to check on something else. It explains more than it doesn’t – for a magician, traditionally a scholar type, Rin was incredibly athletic, wasn’t she? Not to mention the way she seems to like to fight closer in. And then there’s the way she hit Illya when they were setting up the date – where’d she learn a professional paralyzing strike? Definitely fits the picture.

Eight: Illya is already sounding older, isn’t she? She’s finally growing up.

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Chapter thirteen will round off Abraxas and see the Arturia Shirou thing well and truly launched. Look forward to it!