“Manny, he has a girlfriend. What are you thinking?” Emma said to me, and I knew I was thinking evil thoughts. I didn’t care about his girlfriend. All I cared about was what I wanted. And I wanted him.

“It’s a free country. He can come here if he wants to. And if he happens to be here and I happen to be here, well then, what’s the harm in that?” We were shouting to each other over the roar of the music. The music pulsated with this sick primal life that I’d never seen before. I didn’t know the world could be this alive in a basement crowded with hundreds of people.

Emma shook her head and left in disgust. Always judging. Always up on her high horse. Well, Emma couldn’t understand what it was to want something with this mindless, sightless desire. Lucky her.

I had been scanning the crowd for him all night, this wild crowd that seemed to be its own hundred headed and thousand legged animal, moving and breathing in sync. I tried to discern his features out of that faceless mass, and finally I saw him weaving through the crowd to me. I smiled my widest smile and fingered the tiny crushed up pills that were in my pocket. Roofies.

“Hi,” he said, shouting like Emma had, but I could hear him even in a thousand decibels.

“Hi,” I said, untwisting the small plastic bottle of water and dumping in the powdered dust from the pills, “you made it,”

“Yeah,” he said, and ducked his head in that way that made me just want to grab him and kiss him. He was irresistible.

I recapped the water behind my back and shook it up, grabbed his arm with my other hand and pulled him onto the dance floor. I started to move against him, sinewy cat-like moves and I wanted something, wanted something from him so badly I couldn’t stand it.

“I have a girlfriend,” he said, shouting in my ear. I bumped and moved against him, feeling the stiff denim of his jeans against my skin.

“I can keep a secret,” I said in his ear, and I kept moving up against him until he kissed me. He leaned in toward me, his mouth open so slightly and I felt his tongue against mine, so soft. I could kiss him forever.

Outside, our hair plastered to our foreheads with sweat. The cool air felt good after the heat of all those bodies in that basement, the music so loud you could see it. I handed him the bottle of water.

“Here,” I said, and watched him drink it, watched his adam’s apple bob as the water went down his throat.

The guy, the friend of my cousin who was all into drugs told me it took about a half hour to take effect. Craig was thirsty and drank the whole thing, and I felt a pang of nervousness. What if it was too much? What if it didn’t just knock him out but killed him? This was too dangerous, I never should have done this. But what was done was done, and I only had a half hour to get him somewhere private.

Emma’s house was out of the question, so was my apartment. His garage. Joey’s garage. That would be perfect.

“Can we go to your garage and hang out for a bit?” I asked, and looked at him with trepidation. He was still being cautious. He still had his loyalty to Ashley hanging around his neck like a noose. What if he said no?

“Uh, okay, I guess,” he said, and I smiled.

At the garage, sitting on the couch, he strummed the guitar. But I saw his movements getting slower and his eyes shutting, and he passed out. I checked to be sure he was still breathing, putting my head on his chest. He was breathing and I could hear his heart beat, steady and comforting. I picked my head up and looked at him. His eyes were closed, the lashes laying against his cheeks. His hair was curly, the curls sticking to his forehead and the nape of his neck. I licked my lips.

“You’re mine,” I whispered, “all mine,”