|Weirdest Attack Ever
Author: NarutosBrat PM
The truth behind that fateful October 10th night. Insanity at its worst.Rated: Fiction M - English - Humor - Kurama/Kyuubi - Words: 1,225 - Reviews: 94 - Favs: 147 - Follows: 36 - Published: 01-21-09 - Status: Complete - id: 4808405
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
Disclaimer: I own nothing but the twisted ideas that spew from my brain; which I use to torture and abuse other people's creations.
I am aware that this is much shorter than my normal stuff, but this idea came to me, and just begged to be written.
The truth behind that fateful October 10th night.
A drunk, horny Kyuubi trying to get laid; or an evil monster attacking a peaceful Konoha. Misunderstandings can be a real bitch sometimes, let's see how.
As the overly liquored fox stumbled through the forest towards Konoha, its vision cloudy, his libido spiked to the breaking point. Then, off in the distance, he saw just the thing to help his condition. There, on the horizon, was the most beautiful, inviting piece of in heat vixen tail he'd ever seen. The long red and white tail waving at him teasingly, only spurred him on quicker.
The people of Konoha could only gaze fearfully as the mighty, rampaging Kyuubi no Yoko raced towards their village. It had a glean in its eye that could only mean trouble. While the ninja assembled to defend themselves, they knew that they didn't stand a chance against this force of nature. It was unfortunate that the giant fox's blurred vision was playing tricks on him. What he was really seeing, was Konoha's new Shinobi Library. The domed, arena styled structure boasted several levels, one devoted to each of the principles of a well rounded shinobi. The tail, was a massive banner indicating it's grand opening within the week. Once the final touches were completed, the massive jutsu library of Konoha would be housed here.
In his haste to get to that fine piece of ass, the Kyuubi completely missed the fact that he was trampling a district full of Konoha citizens. Finally arriving, Kyuubi pounced, stuffing himself fully into the sexy vixen; cheering that he'd found himself a virgin.
As the mammoth appendage tore through the paper wall that designated where the high security vault was to be located, one unlucky- or likely lucky depending who you asked- worker found himself crushed between the invading attacker, and the wall he'd been painting.
As the Kyuubi thrust into his lover, he heard her cries of pleasure, and that only spurred him onto a greater performance; his tails swinging about wildly as he gave her the one for.
The people of Konoha screamed in horror and fear as the monster attacked them with its tails; toppling buildings, and unleashing the elements with each swing.
The massive fox breathed deeply, as he leaned against his mate's back, and nuzzled her. He could feel the temperature around them increase, and knew that they were both enjoying this. The heat from their lovemaking licked at his body, pushing him, and he was sure his lover, closer to the precipice of ecstasy.
The people of Konoha watched horrified as the ninja fought, but nothing worked. They were forced to watch as the fox began attacking another building with its head, as it breathed heat like the flames of hell down upon them. All the while, igniting fires, and explosions all around him that continued to grow in size and intensity.
As the fox orgasmed, his body stiffened, and all of his tails slammed down at once. He let out a satisfied smirk as he heard his lady fox call out her own completion.
The people of Konoha let out many simultaneous screams as the nine massive tails of the fox all slammed down at once. Their screams grew as they realized that one of the tails had slammed right through the middle of the Konoha Hospital, and another through the Hokage Tower. Luckily, the Yondaime had already exited his office. Now the Hokage didn't want to summon Gamabunta in the middle of the village, but if he didn't do something fast, then the minor damage his summon caused would mean little in the face of the village's complete destruction.
Kyuubi let out a roar as he filled the horny vixen with his seed. He shook with pleasure, and his chakra lashed out as he happily impregnated the vixen that would carry his offspring. A vixen like this was one in a million, and the satiated Kyuubi decided that this was the one he was going to finally settle down with.
For the unfortunate souls still in the building, they found themselves assaulted by a tidal wave of thick, white fluid. Of the fifty-six that were alive inside, fifty-five drowned in the odorous fluid. The last, a severely pregnant kunoichi, managed to escape, and was found shortly after by a dog masked Anbu. He escorted her to the hospital, where she promptly induced her own labor, gave birth, and took her own life. Kushina Uzumaki may have been hailed as one of the strongest, and most unshakable ninja in the Leaf, but even she couldn't live with the unspeakable horrors that she had seen. She, like her best friend who hadn't made it, had been able to connect the dots, and figure out what was going on, and exactly what the white fluid taking so many lives was. As the light faded from her eyes, she only hoped that her son and husband could forgive her.
As the satiated Kyuubi sat back on it's haunches, swinging his tails, he let out a great purr.
The village shinobi fought as hard as they could, even though they knew it was futile. The giant fox growled, before it sat, and flattened a large portion of shinobi, and swiped away even more with the deadly appendages.
Off in the distance, the fox saw a massive puff of smoke, and another figure appear. The fox let out a low growl, and took up a fighting position. He didn't know who this newcomer was, but he was too late. This vixen was his, he'd claimed her damn it, and he'd damn sure fight for her. He wasn't about to let another bastard- especially one with such a small size, and a sissy fur color like purple- take his vixen.
The toad boss Gamabunta glared at the massive fox that had just taken a very aggressive stance. He hoped the brat made this jutsu quick. There was no way he could hope to truly match up against the Kyuubi. All he could hope to do was stall it for a few moments.
As the Shinigami appeared, one thought went through the fox's mind. 'Shit, he found out I raided his booze stash.'
As the light faded from his eyes, Minato Namikaze, the Yondaime Hokage could only hope that his wife and son could forgive him for what he'd done.
Years later, the Kyuubi would wake to a hangover, a monster of a headache, and a little blond brat in orange bitching about rent.
Before anyone asks, yes the phrase I'm a sick twisted human being kept coming up. At least now that the retardedness has left my brain, I can safely start on chapter three of Miso.
Well, tell me what you thought...or not. I have a feeling I'm going to get enough flames to create the ultimate Katon jutsu.