The Harry-Potter-Fan-Fiction-Addiction-Syndrome

aka - Humpty-Dumpty-Chronicles-Syndrome

Written By: D.J.J.L.D.H.B. 'M-PC' 7th / Steve's Place

General Disclaimer: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoat Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended. I don't own Harry Potter or any of JK Rowling’s characters nor do I own any of the TV shows, Movies or Books or other Fan Fiction Stories that content could include. I neither earn receive nor expect any money from this writing. I write only for my own amusement and the amusement or entertainment of any who wish to read this.

Summery: (Complete) AU/Humor/Parody. Summery: (Complete) AU/Humor/Parody. A short 3 part bit of Parody, Abstract, Humor in a Harry Potter, Alternate Universe. I recommend the practice of "CONSTANT VIGILANCE" at all times!

The Harry-Potter-Fan-Fiction-Addiction-Syndrome

aka- Humpty Dumpty Chronicles Syndrome

Part 1: "I Want Out!"

By: D.J.J.L.D.H.B. 'M-PC' 7th / Steve's Place

"I want this to end. I have had enough. I have had all I can take of this prophecy, of Dumbledork using me to kill Riddle, of all the order keeping me prisoner, of Snape, of the Dursley's. I have had enough, I want out!"

This was the final straw for Harry James Potter. He had recently been through another death eater attack and managed to survive again. How many times was it now? Seven attacks, several serious injuries and he were one month from turning only 16. Harry Potter had had enough.

Screw the prophecy, screw the twinkling Dumbledork in flashy pajamas, screw the order, screw the greasy ape Snape, screw the Magic world and screw the Dursley's. There is only one thing left to do and that was get out of the whole mess and be with his parents.

On that last thought Harry Potter walked out into the middle of a very busy street in rush hour and waited for death to take him. It was his full intention to get run down by a bus, truck; car or whatever first came along to claim his life.

And then it happened. A big hulking Double Decker Transit Bus was trying to stop before hitting that kid in the middle of the street, but it was too late as it struck Harry Potter at more than 40 km/hour, Harry was thrown into the path of another truck coming from the other direction, then bounced off that truck and into another car, which knocked him ass over tea kettle into the car behind that one, and on again over the one behind that one, and then it was over, or so we all thought.

Harry lay there in the middle of the street for a few minutes and suddenly realized he was not dead.

"How is this possible?" Harry said out loud. "I should be in several little pieces by now and come to think of it, I didn't feel a thing either!"

Harry stood up amidst the carnage he had just caused to happen and slowly walked over to the sidewalk and proceeded until he came upon an alley and ventured in. As he reached the end of the alley he took out his wand, looked at it for a few seconds then pointed it at his head and said the magic words. . . "Avada Kedavra."

Expecting to be dead this time he found himself starring at the end of his wand and the green killing light just bounced off his head and right into a wall blowing a huge hole in the side of the building.

"What the hell is going on?" Harry screamed out.

At this point Harry was sure he should be dead but it seemed he was not even scratched. So Harry walked down the street until he came across a suitable high rise building some 30 floors or more, then ventured in and boarded the lift to the top floor, and then ventured over to the edge, looked down and muttered. "This will do it this time," and sailed over the edge plummeting straight down with a big smile on his face and whispered. "Mom, Dad, I'm coming home.

"SPLAT"

Harry blinked a few times and crawled out of the indentation his fall had made in the street, shook his head a couple of times to clear it, blinked a few more times and muttered. "Mom, Dad, this may take me a bit longer than I reckoned on."

"Ok that's it, what the hell is going on here, I should be dead at least 6 times by now and yet I don't even have a scratch on me. Then he recited the main part of the prophecy ...AND EITHER MUST DIE AT THE HAND OF THE OTHER FOR NEITHER CAN LIVE WHILE THE OTHER SURVIVES... Does that mean I can't even kill myself?" Harry whispered and cursed at fate, calling her some rather naughty, descriptive and generally unpleasant words.

"Ok!" Harry said. "Maybe it has to be Riddle to kill me then, so be it," and Harry pressed his finger to his scar and called out for Riddle, saying. "It's time Tommy boy", and gave his location to the menace Riddle, telling him he was all alone and to come and get him now.

Riddle let out a tremendous emotion of glee and appeared right in front of Harry who had moved into another alley and waited.

Riddle began with the killing curse as usual but it just bounced off Harry, as his own curse had done, and Harry walked ever closer to Riddle while all the curses Riddle threw at Harry, had no effect what so ever, while Harry wondered at the seeming fact that Tommy boy was not able to kill him either.

Perplexed by this whole situation and the rather bad day he was having but just shrugged and moved closer to Riddle.

As soon as Harry got within arms reach of Riddle he stabbed him right in the left eye with his wand and shoving it half way in and just muttered the word “Reducto” effectively blowing the back of Riddles head, right clean off.

Tom Marvolo Riddle, the dirty, dank, self professed “I am Lord Voldemort,” menace, was dead as a post.

Harry blinked a few times, shook his head again and blinked some more then muttered, "Mom, Dad, I think I won't be coming so soon after all, now that the prophecy is finished along with Riddle, maybe I can live now."

At the same moment across the street a bank had been robbed and the security guard was shooting a Muggle gun at the perp when a stray bullet hit Harry James Potter right between the eyes and Harry Potter had gotten his wish.

Harry James Potter had died in his sleep that night at address Number Four Privet Drive; Little Whinging; Surrey; England, after having a loud and rather argumentative nightmare that ended suddenly at the same moment Petunia and Vernon slammed Harry's bedroom door open with a rather loud "BANG" and came running into his little bedroom to yell at him for having waked them up again, while screaming his head off.

And so without further a due, this effectively ended the never ending Harry Potter saga, forever.

Or did it?

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"Constant Vigilance". . . even in your dreams and nightmares; so be careful what you wish for, or dream about.

Part 2 next -- "Wake Up Call"

Reviews Encouraged.