Disclaimer: A fly once buzzed around my room for two days straight. I finally got sick of it and crushed it with a roll of paper. I owned that fly, but sadly, I do not own Gundam Wing.

Author’s Note: Haha, I bet you guys thought I forgot about this, huh? Nope! I’ll try to keep updates consistent, but we’ll see. Oh, and you know those of you who always ask for longer chapters? Well, I tried.

Warnings: Shounen-ai, erratic time flow, switching POV (Ch. 1= Heero, 2= Duo, 3=Trowa, 4=Quatre, 5= Wufei, lather, rinse, repeat), occasional OOC, general randomness. Also, I'm pretending Endless Waltz never existed. Think of this fic as my own alternate ending to the series.

Chapter One

“Heero.”

I stay hunched a moment longer, carefully applying some grease to the metal hinge in my hands, before I look up. Duo walks towards me, eyeing my Gundam. “Polishing it up for the last battle, huh?” he asks tamely, not meeting my eyes. I grunt and go back to my repairs.

The silence stretches out between us, much as it did during that mission we had together, almost a year ago. We’ve hardly talked since then. Our paths rarely crossed between missions, and when they did, we took advantage of the brief breaks to rest. I think the last person I sat down and spoke to was Wufei, when Sally Po and I convinced him to cooperate with us. Even now that all five pilots are on Peacemillion, we keep to ourselves, each focused on ending our own personal battles in this war.

Duo leans against the wall a few feet away from me, arms crossed. It is easy to tell that he has lost some weight since I last saw him. I frown and try to concentrate on mending the parts in front of me.

“I guess I’ll leave you to your work, then,” Duo says abruptly, turning away from me and walking off, most likely to join Howard on the other side of the ship. I wait for the door to slide shut behind him before sighing and leaning back against Wing.

A year.

Does time really pass that fast?

I cover my face with my hand, thinking about everything that has happened since this war began. I started out as one pilot, on a solo mission to save the colonies. Then Duo showed me that maybe it wasn’t such a weakness to make friends. And after coming close to death several times, I realized I should follow that advice.

I now consider all the pilots my friends, although Wufei still feels like a bit of an outsider, still wary of us I suppose. But even though I’ve spent more time with Quatre, or even Trowa, for that matter, I still feel closest to Duo. It must be because he was first. Right?

Sometimes, in between missions, I would make a mental list of questions I need to ask him someday. Even when I was around someone else, I’d wait and save them for Duo. By now, there are so many that not even I can keep track of them all. And the ones that I can remember, I’ve been too hesitant to ask.

Where did that easy sense of companionship that we finally accomplished go? Does time really have that much of an affect? I suppose these are all things that I should ask Duo. But he seems less cheerful, more listless these days. He’s not making the effort to draw me into conversation like he used to. The most I ever get from him is something like the conversation we just had.

I wonder what he came in here to say. Normally, if he approaches me he has a question to ask me, but it seems like today he walked away without asking it. I wonder why. Something about his attitude lately worries me.

Standing up, I wipe my hands off with my rag, already making a mental list of places he could be. I won’t be able to get any work done with this hanging over my head, so I might as well find him now.

After checking with Howard, Quatre, and looking in the control room, I find Duo sitting in an observation loft. He’s leaning against the giant, curved window, staring intently at the stars all around us.

“Duo,” I say, stepping quietly into the room. He looks back at me, eyebrows raised, his braid falling off his shoulder. I cross the room quickly and sit down next to him, gazing out at the sky.

Blinking a few times, Duo adopts a sly grin and coos, “Miss me already, ‘Ro?”

“You looked like you had something to say,” I respond, turning to catch his eyes. They’re still that same incredible color, and they still floor me when I look at them.

Duo shifts a bit and looks down at his hands. “What makes you think that?” he asks. I shrug and wait for him to speak again.

When it looks like he isn’t going to respond, I add, “I’m worried about you. You haven’t been yourself lately.”

“Even I get tired sometimes, Heero,” he answers back quietly. Twisting his hands in his lap, he glances up at me, his expression carefully neutral. “But it’ll all be over soon, right?” Duo manages a half-smile.

As concerned as I am, I feel grateful that he is willing to take down his guard around me. It’s like an assurance that we haven’t completely lost the friendship we built up in that cabin. And I need that. About two weeks after we parted, it suddenly became very clear to me how easily I could never see him again. It… was not a good feeling.

I stand up and try to think of something to say to comfort him, but words fail me, as always. He catches my eye, though, and nods, as if he knows exactly what I’m thinking. He probably does.

It is strange how quickly your mind can change.

I remember standing in Libra and realizing that I would need to use my self-detonation device to save the earth. I was ready. Just as I had told Relena, my life was cheap. It was worth dying, if the earth would be safe.

Then Zechs showed up, and took the damage himself, and I had to take my buster rifle to destroy that last piece of the ship, that one tiny bit standing between destruction and peace.

Twenty seconds, they’re saying now. Twenty seconds until it breaks through the earth’s atmosphere. In just twenty short seconds, the war will either be over or a complete waste, a needless sacrifice of lives.

The heat is unbearable as Wing enters the earth’s atmosphere. My whole body shakes as I try to hold the controls steady enough to lock on to the giant piece of debris hurtling towards me. I’m sore. I’m tired. I think, I’m going to die anyway. Why am I fighting so hard? I know that if I fly into the debris and activate my self-detonation device, the explosion will completely destroy it, even if it does cost my own life.

And then, through my radio, crackling from the interference and the fact that Wing is about two minutes away from breaking apart completely, I hear Duo’s voice.

“Don’t you die on me, Heero Yuy!”

I snap awake, like someone from a dream, and I realize something. I want to live. I want to find out what a normal life is really like, just like Duo said, months and months before. That thought gives me the strength I need to destroy the last threat, to end the last mission.

With the whoops and cheers of my comrades filling my cockpit, I fly back into space with only one thought in my mind.

Duo. It’s finally dawn.

The first day of peace is a rush of cameras, microphones, and first-aid. Not even I can fall partway through the earth’s atmosphere and come out unscathed. But Relena finally convinces the press to let us pilots go and visit Quatre, who’s been confined to the hospital after being stabbed by Dorothy.

The four of us file in and find Quatre awake, cheerfully eating his lunch. “Hello, everyone!” he says with a grin. Trust Quatre to be that happy even while hospitalized.

I sit down next to Duo, who’s already animatedly chatting with the blonde. Trowa goes to stand by his bed, leaving Wufei to sit on my other side. Gazing around at my companions, I can’t help but feel that the atmosphere is awkward. We’ve rarely been together like this, except for brief meetings on Peacemillion. All we have in common is that we’re Gundam pilots. Beyond that… well, none of us really know.

I once thought that I’d like to be friends with all the pilots, but is that really possible? I think we’re actually quite different people. Having five strong personalities such as ours together seems dangerous and volatile.

I’m startled out of my thoughts by a hand ruffling my hair, which I immediately grab, doing my best to soften my grip before pulling it away. The hand, of course, belongs to Duo.

“Still thinking as hard as ever, eh, ‘Ro? Come on, we’re finally done with all the fighting! Kick back and relax a bit, man.” He tugs at his arm and I let go, realizing that the others’ eyes are on us.

“And then what?” I ask, turning slightly to bring the other three into the conversation. “Does anyone have plans of where to go from here?” Duo rolls his eyes at me. I can almost hear him thinking, Sheesh, mission-oriented as always.

“Well, Trowa will go back to the circus, right?” says Quatre warmly, smiling across the room at his friend. Trowa merely looks down and shrugs.

“I’m not sure yet,” he answers.

“Cat’s still gotta run the family business, I’ll bet,” Duo offers, switching everyone’s attention back to the blonde. He nods with a considering look on his face.

“I do, but some of my older sisters have been managing fine without me recently. I might cut back a little until I come of age.”

“And do what?” asks Duo. Quatre just shrugs.

“What about you?” I ask the braided boy beside me. He grins and throws his hands up in a questioning gesture.

“I have absolutely no idea!” he answers. I sigh.

Wufei interrupts us. “I’m pretty certain there’s a law that says we all need to be in school until we’re eighteen.” We all turn and blink at him. School? I hadn’t really considered that option. Hell, I hadn’t even been sure I would live or what would be left of the earth and the colonies if I did.

“I don’t think I’ve ever been in school for more than a few months in my whole life,” muses Duo. I nod my agreement, although it’s probably less for me.

Quatre looks surprised. “Really? I went to private school until I started training with Dr. Q.”

“I had private tutors,” offers Wufei. “I studied with other members of my family, so it was something like a school.”

“Whoa, check out the two rich guys,” mutters Duo. “Musta been nice.”

We all turn to Trowa, waiting for his answer. Once he realizes that he’s the center of attention, he says, “Most of my education was self-taught before I met Dr. S.”

I sit back and contemplate all this information. As I thought, we all come from significantly different backgrounds. “None of us have ever been to public school, then?” I ask, just to check.

“I have!” says Duo a little indignantly. “’Course, it was just for a couple of months when I was about nine, and it sucked, so I’m not exactly bursting to go back.” (1)

I cross my arms and lean back into my chair. “Maybe I’ll try it. I don’t have any other plans, and if it’s a law, we might be forced into it anyway. I’d rather go willingly.”

“Seriously, man?” Duo questions, raising an eyebrow at me. He looks around at the others before shrugging in a way that hints at defeat. “Alright, then, I guess I’ll go with you.”

I feel my face twitch into what can only be called a look of surprise as I glance up at him. “But you just said – “

“Hey, man, just because it sucked seven years ago doesn’t mean it will suck now. Besides, it seems like a nice normal thing to do.” He winks at me. I try to think of some way to show him that I understand what he means, but fail. Quatre saves me by intervening in the conversation.

“Does that mean you’re sixteen, Duo?” He leans forward a bit, regarding him almost eagerly. I guess there was never much time for simple questions like age during all the fighting.

Duo shrugs. “Well, I’m sixteenish. I just say I’m a year older once summer comes. How about the rest of you?” he adds curiously.

“Sixteen,” Quatre says cheerfully, “although I turn seventeen in three months.” Wufei answers the same, except his birthday is in May. I shrug.

“Sixteen… ish, like you, I guess. I usually call myself a year older on New Year’s Day, so I guess I’m almost seventeen.”

Again, Trowa is the last to answer. “No idea. I don’t keep track.” Duo, of course, gapes at this.

“What?! You could be eighteen and not even know it, man!”

“Does it matter?” asks Trowa, looking up for once. Did the floor finally get boring?

“Well, if you are, you won’t have to worry about this school stuff,” Duo points out. Trowa just shrugs and resumes his study of the floor tiles.

“What about you, Wufei?” I ask, turning to him. “What are you planning on doing now?”

He regards me carefully before he answers. “I don’t have a plan. Maybe I’ll join you two, depending on where you go.” I grunt in acknowledgement, immediately earning a hit from Duo on the back of head.

“Jeez, you were doing so well about the actually-talking thing. Don’t regress now, ‘Ro.”

As I’m coming up with a retort, a well-meaning nurse comes in and pushes us all out of the room, insisting that Quatre get some sleep. The four of us stand awkwardly in the hallway, not wanting to hang around, but not wanting to face the press again either.

“So,” Duo drawls, lacing his fingers behind his head. “Anyone up for trying to sneak out of this place?”

“And go where?” asks Wufei. A fair point. As far as I can tell, none of us have anywhere to go now that we’re back on earth.

A loud growl from Trowa’s stomach supplies the answer for us. Duo’s too-loud laugh echoes off the walls (earning some scowls from a couple nurses passing by) as he says, “Food it is, then! I’ll bet we can find a decent place somewhere around here.” He nudges Trowa in the ribs and adds, “Man, your stomach is louder than you are.”

“Well then, mission accepted. I guess,” I answer grudgingly. Duo grins at me as Wufei walks over to an emergency escape route posted to the wall. He gestures us over.

“If we take the back staircase down to the first floor, we can cut through this hallway and skirt the lobby, and then take the side exit out.”

“No, that will take us past the cafeteria,” I cut in, tapping the map in front of us. “There’s bound to be some reporters who got tired of waiting and went to buy some food. Let’s loop back around this hallway before taking the stairs, and go out this emergency exit in the back.”

As we set off on our ridiculous “mission”, I take the time to observe our group’s dynamics. Wufei stands off to the side, as always, and Trowa trails slightly behind me and Duo, who’s leading the way. I guess that, without Quatre here to pull him in, he feels out of place. I wonder how those two became so close. I know it happened before my stay with Trowa at the circus, but I’ve never been able to figure out when they even spent time together before then.

I push my thoughts aside as we reach the stairs and head down, wincing at the loud echo of our shoes against the cement floor. We don’t meet anyone as we enter the ground floor of the hospital, all four of us on edge. I can still hear a large amount of chatter in the direction of the lobby, which means that Relena must still be here with the reporters. We duck down a hallway and head straight to the emergency exit.

“Give me a boost, ‘Ro,” says Duo as we approach it, gesturing to the alarm rigged over the door. I prepare to brace his weight on my knee, but Trowa comes and reaches over us, quickly disabling the alarm. Duo jokingly shakes a fist at him as he goes first through the door, winking at Wufei and me before following.

We break into the city air and cut through the parking lot to the street. I allow myself to relax slightly, although I’m still on the lookout for cameras and microphones. We continue to wander down streets until we come across a diner that seems clean enough to eat in and head inside, sitting down at a booth.

I study the menu in front of me, trying to decide on the most nutritional meal, when I hear Duo ordering cheeseburgers and fries for all four of us.

“Duo…” I start, but he shakes a finger in front of my face.

“Hey man, if I know you, you’re gonna take your sweet time choosing some kinda healthy food, and that is not what you come to a diner for. You come for greasy, fattening, oh-my-gosh-I-just-took-30-minutes-off-my-life kinda food.” Wufei snorts from across the table.

“I doubt they even have anything that could qualify as healthy in a place like this,” he adds to Duo’s argument. Which is probably true. I settle back in the booth grudgingly as we wait for the food and watch Duo strike up a lively conversation with Wufei about the worth of cheeseburgers compared to chicken sandwiches, both of them seemingly enjoying the debate. Trowa watches their verbal sparring with a look of amusement on his face. Once our food comes, the conversation drifts from topic to topic, and while I don’t say much, I feel a sense of camaraderie build up between all four of us, something I haven’t felt so strongly since I spent those twenty-four hours with Duo. I smile to myself.

I could get used to this.

1 – Sorry if I got Duo’s age wrong. It’s been a while since I read Ground Zero.