And everythings cool in the mind of a gangsta
Cuz gangsta-ass niggas think deep
Up three-sixty-five a year 24/7
Cuz real gangsta ass niggas dont sleep

She was surprised that, when she looked up from the one-bedrooms in Apartment Finder, all she could see was a man’s torso with very nice obliques and a tattoo that read “muertes” in Cloister Black. She looked down, saw black basketball shorts, looked up, and realized he was frowning at her, perfect little lines forming around his pretty mouth and his pretty eyes.

"What are you doing?" he asked, eyeing her with obvious disapproval. Sakura sat for a moment, blinking, before she reached for the classifieds she'd circled in red and held them up in wordless explanation.

He read them. He looked at her. He scowled. "Apartments?"

She nodded. "I'm looking for one."

She nearly leapt out of her chair in fright when a heavy hand draped across her collarbone. She craned her neck backwards and realized that there was a blonde man behind her.

He was smiling, but she could see the beginnings of what promised to be very large tattooed letters peeking out from underneath a loosened tie and a blue checked dress shirt as he leaned over her shoulder. She really hoped it didn’t run along the lines of Mara Salvatrucha or Latin Kings, because then she’d have to throw coffee in his face and make a run for it. That would have been too bad, because he looked like a nice guy even if he was probably packing heat. Plus, Shirtless was still standing in front of her, and would nab her before she could get out the door.

The hand gave her shoulder a friendly squeeze.

“Are you using that chair?”

“Oh…no. No, you can have it.”

“Great.” He smiled and laughed and sat down at her table. Silence Personified stood behind him and crossed his arms, making Blondie look like a cheerful mob boss. Sakura nearly had a heart attack.

He must have caught the subtle reach for her purse, because he twisted to look up at his companion. “Hey,” he said, frowning. “Sit down or put on shirt or something.”

Mr. Your Death Will Come Swiftly scowled and sat down backwards in one of the other chairs, muttering under his breath. If he hadn’t been covered in tattoos, he could have been a male model. His eyebrows were perfect.

The Blonde One spun around with an incandescent smile that practically made his face glow. "What's your name?"

"Sakura," she said, curling her hands into fists under the table.

“S'that so?” Blonde Man said, casting blue eyes upon the offensive paper cover of Apartment Finder. “I see you’re looking for an apartment.”

Tight Lipped rocked back and forth on the back legs of his seat and cocked his head to one side. "Need one for cheap?"

Sakura flushed and stuttered, slightly alarmed and thoroughly confused. "I'm sorry?" she said.

In the Buff rolled his eyes and spoke slowly. "Would you like to rent an apartment from us?"

"For cheap," the blonde one chimed in.

Black Eyes nodded in agreement. "For cheap."

"Well, I.." she croaked, "I..."

The blonde one smiled, the dark one frowned, and ten minutes later she found herself walking to the car with a bag of bran muffins in one hand, her keys in the other, and a business card in her pocket with "llámanos" written on the back.

Man, she thought as she unlocked her car door with a smile. Sometimes life is funny.

a/n: You can tell that I’ve been listening to Sublime because, all of a sudden, Naruto and Sasuke have tattoos, speak (poor) Spanish, and are (probably) ex-gang members. WHAT WILL HAPPEN NEXT.

Fallacy/KorinaCaffeine: this is for you. Ich liebe dich. It isn’t exactly Kankuro/Sakura, but I thought it was neat all the same.

Spanish translations:

Muertes - Deaths

Llámanos = Call us