If I owned anything here…would I be here making Fanfics?

Unknown location:

Naruto jumped at the sudden shaking. It sounded like a several large footsteps or stomps if you'd rather. Naruto looked around; he didn't see anything that would indicate an approach. He turned down and faced the nearby hallway; he saw something at the other end of it. It had it's teeth bared and was enormous. And the fact that Naruto was so small didn't help.

"Aaahhh!!" he screamed as he ran the opposite direction. As a child he didn't know completely understand the concept of death though he had a better grasp over it than many kids twice his age. But he did understand one thing; whatever it was at the end of the tunnel, it wanted to kill him.

The fact it gave chase helped enforced this speculation. But it wouldn't do any help for him.

Medical room:

Naruto body was strapped to the hospital bed. He was completely unconscious as far as the medical staff knew. Even so, he was jerking around like he was on heroine. It was like trying to tend to a freak zombie. Plus, the sounds Naruto was emitting were NOT sounds of a human.

"You might want to call the Hokage." The medic nin said to the Anbu ninja. The Anbu nodded and exited via Shunshin.

"I hope this isn't what I think it is."

Unknown location:

Naruto ran down the tunnel ways, trying to escape the monstrosity running after him.

'Don't look back, it will only slow you down!' he didn't need to look back to tell it was gaining on him. And the closer it got, the more Naruto could tell that it wanted to kill him. Gut him; eat his intestines and possibly worse if there was anything.

He continued running until he came across a door that was just barely large enough for him. As quickly as he could, he opened the door and entered, slamming the door on his way in.

But even so, he could hear the growling of the monster behind him. Behind that thin wooden door that he closed, something told him that a piece of paper would have been just as effective. He jumped and rolled forward just in time to avoid being struck by nail that was larger than him.

Konoha Hospital:

Anko, yeah. She visited the hospital to pick up some condoms and a pregnancy test kit. No, she never did have sex. But after being returning to Konoha when she was abandoned by her sensei, her tastes had seemed to change somewhat. And such tastes made her attractive to many questionable types. The point was, she couldn't be too careful, even if she had told herself she would be a virgin until marriage, or if the guy was really hot. The latter seemed less likely since almost everyone that fit the criteria was already married. She also didn't have much in the charm department; this did not help her scenario. Ah well. She heard that the kid she saved a few days ago was still in there, out of boredom and wanting to avoid another unnecessary mission, she had decided to pay the poor brat a visit. Anko entered the Naruto's room.

"Yo, how's the Uzumaki kiiiiAHHH!" She shouted in surprise when she saw a giant orange chakra cloak over the boy. The Medic fell onto his rear.

"H-he's…" the Medic stuttered. Anko walked in right when the cloak appeared.

The Hokage and several Anbu appeared in the room.

"Give me the diagnosis! Someone see if they can find Jiraiya!" the Hokage demanded. One of the Anbu shushined out of the room.

Anko…didn't know what to say.

Unknown location:

Naruto was staring at a claw that was stopped, just inches from his face, understanding the way the human body works, he highly doubted that his penis would grow back to its original length. Not that he would really care, but still. The monster's claw was stopped by the door being way being too small.

"Ha…hahahahahah!" Naruto laughed, he survived.

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