The Other Neighbor

The History of the Tooth Fairies

Disclaimer: I own nothing from the Aqua teen hunger force show. This is done just for fun.

Scene opens to a Jersey night at the homes of The Aqua Teens, Carl, and Mike. A blue Toyota Corolla, with a sticker of the number 56 on the hood and trunk and a NY Giants helmet on the driver’s side door suddenly pulls up and parks on the street next to Mike’s house. Mike gets out of the car and yawns, dressed like a corporate security guard. “Night shifts are murder” he said to himself as he sipped some coffee and finished the cup, throwing it into his back seat. He went into his house and walked across his living room. He went into the kitchen and opened the fridge and looked inside. Inside Mike’s fridge he sees meatloaf, Chinese food, pizza, and mostly leftovers. He sighs and grabs a Budweiser and walks up stairs to his bed room sipping his beer.

His bedroom is covered with posters of various rock and roll bands from Aerosmith to AC/DC, to Genesis to Styx, as well as various sports memorabilia from the NY Giants, NY Mets, NY Knicks, and NY Rangers. He sipped his beer again and without changing out of his uniform he lies down on his bed and falls asleep. As he snored silently, a figure went up to his bed and Mike soon felt something squishy and long on his shoulder. “Bah!” he yelled as he jumped up in his bed and looked down at Meatwad who was smiling at him. “Hey Mike! How was work tonight?” he asked with a smile. “How’d you get in here?” Mike demanded as he glared at Meatwad. “Oh I got in through there” Meatwad said as he pointed at Mike’s bed room window which was broken as if something had been thrown through it. Mike then saw a rope tied to Meatwad’s body leading outside the window. “And we broke into my house tonight why?” Mike asked as he stood up and looked down at Meatwad. “Oh…oh shoot hold on I got me a note……Here it is!” Meatwad said as he pulled out a dead rat out of his body. “Oh wait, that’s a pet” Meatwad said.

Mike reached down and put his hand into Meatwad’s body and pulled out a sticky note. “Go into Mike’s bedroom and steal his CD player” Mike said as he read the note. “Nice and whose idea was this?” he asked as he put the note back into Meatwad. “Shake’s, he’s outside waiting” Meatwad explained. “I see……..tell you what Meat man how about I give you a hand” Mike said. Outside Mike’s house Shake was waiting with a rope tied around his body. “Damn it where is he?” he asked himself. Suddenly he smiled as he felt a tugging on the rope, “Alright that’s my man” he said as he yanked on the rope and started to pull. “How you doing?” Meatwad said as he rolled up behind Shake as he yanked on the rope.

“Whoa! Hey wait if you’re here then who’s?” he asked as a cinder block came down and slammed into his head knocking him out. “Try that crap again cup and I’ll bust your friggin head open and pour whatever flavor is inside of you into the streets!” Mike shouted from his window. Mike then shut the blinds to the broken window and went back to bed. He fell asleep again and was snoring slightly as he slept peacefully. However two hours later fog suddenly poured into his bed room and the Cybernetic Ghost of Christmas Past clanked into the room. “Security guard, Arise!” he shouted loud enough for Mike to wake up. “What the? Oh God!” he cried as he sat up and stared at the Robot. “Now you listen to me for I am the Cybernetic Ghost of Christmas Past come bearing an important message for you” he said as he pointed at Mike. Mike gave the robot a disbelieving look and said, “Okay.” Mist suddenly enters the room as the Robot started to talk. “Do you remember the night you lost your first tooth, those many years ago?” he asked as a flash back started

Flashback:

Mike is now 5 years old sitting in his bed with his mother placing the tooth under his bed, “Oh boy oh boy I can’t wait for the morning to come and for me to get a nickel” Mike said as he jumped up and down on his bed excitedly in his Mets Pajamas. His mother smiled and soon Mike was in bed sleeping. His window then suddenly opens and a robotic tooth fairy flies in and makes clanking noises though Mike never wakes up and takes his tooth spitting out an oil drenched nickel under his pillow before leaving. The next morning Mike wakes up excitedly and reaches under his bed and feels the oil. “Huh what’s this?” he asked. Suddenly a black hole opens up and sucks Mike and his bed and his room into the vortex. “Oh God!” Mike screamed.

End Flashback.

“You remember that day don’t you?” The Ghost Robot asked as Mike stared at him like he was crazy. “I remember an oil soaked nickel under my bed due to my father being a mechanic, not so much the robot fairy and the black hole appearing in my room” he said in annoyance. The robot looked at him for a moment holding up his claw and then said, “Well what about losing your second tooth?” Fog started rolling into the room again but vanished as Mike suddenly stood up and said, “Whoa wait a minute hold on stop!”

“What?” the Robot asked. “You’re the Ghost of Christmas Past right?” Mike asked. “That is correct” the Robot said. “Okay first of all its March so what are you doing here now? Second of all if you’re the Ghost of Christmas Past why are you spouting off crap about tooth fairies?”” Mike asked glaring at the Robot. The Robot stood there for a moment and then said, “I am a Robot!” “No crap ding bat but you’re not exactly a top end model in intelligence are you?” Mike said in a snide way. The robot started to walk away and said, “I will see you again in December Guard.” “Alright whatever, bad Chinese and beer can really mess with your head man” Mike said as he fell back asleep.

Three hours later Mike heard a knocking in his door and again woke up and went down stairs and opened his door to see Meatwad there. “What do you want?” he asked as Meatwad pointed to the backyard. “Um Mike you should see this” Meatwad said. “Why what happened? Did the Robot key my car? He mess with my mailbox? My roof screwed up? What?” Mike asked. Meatwad pointed at the back yard and said, “Well you should see for yourself Mike” he said. “What the Hell is this?” Mike screamed as he walked outside to his backyard and saw his sprinklers spraying his yard and house with blood.

Shake who now head his head wrapped up in bandages and a black eye pointed at it and said, “Look I was lying unconscious in your yard and got sprayed with that stuff so how do you think I feel” Shake said. “It happened in our house too, see” Meatwad said as he dumped a glass of blood on the ground as Frylock floated over and started to analyze the blood. “God it’s like a Black Sabbath concert out here” Mike said as he held his head. “Aaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh!” Carl screamed from his house. The Aqua teens and Mike all walk across their yards and see Carl walk out also soaked in blood wearing a towel around his waist. “What is going on out here? I try to take a shower and I get soaked with blood. What the Frig?” He shouted. Frylock suddenly held up his frydar and said, “Guys this is no ordinary blood, this is Fairy Blood that’s going through our houses.”

“Who would do this to us?” Mike shouted in frustration. “It was me” the Cybernetic Ghost of Christmas Past said as he appeared next to Mike, Carl, and the Aqua Teens. “And you did this why?” Frylock asked. “Because of the graveyard buried here on your three houses” the Ghost Robot said. “What?” Carl asked. “Thousands of years ago there was an advanced race of fairies” the Robot said as fog suddenly covered the area. “The fairies worked to cultivate the teeth of primitive children and used them as jewelry for their Queen. However the teeth where taken before they had fallen out and this caused a rift between the children and the fairies. So the Queen ordered all teeth be taken and a monetary sum be left behind in exchange” The Robot said as the fog became denser.

“So what does that have to do with the blood in our houses” Frylock asked as the fog vanished and he glared at the robot. “You didn’t let me finish” the robot said as the fog returned. “To increase tooth collectivity the Queen ordered robots to collect the teeth and soon this lead to increased teeth for her jewelry. The Queen soon had all fairies replaced with robots and the normal fairies became bitter and out of a job. The fairies rebelled against the robots and but where defeated in the civil war and the Queen murdered by her own robots and the robots took over fairy society”

“What the hell are you rambling about scrape heap?” Mike said as he stepped towards the robot but was held back by Frylock. “Cool it Mike, look what does that have to do with our houses being filled with blood?” he asked as he stared at the robot. “This spot where we stand is the historic battle site of the final battle of the war. Your houses lie on fairy graves and their spirits won’t be appeased until the offering is given” the robot said. “What friggin offering?” Carl asked as he glared at the robot.

“An offering of teeth must be given and sacrificed to the spirit of the Fairy Queen to appease her and her fairies” The robot said. Frylock looks shocked for a moment but then looks at Shake as he notices that some of his teeth are missing from mike dropping the cinder block on him earlier. “Hey what are you looking at Frylock?” Shake asked as he backs away from him only to back into Mike. Frylock nods to Carl and Mike who both nod back. “I still owe you for leaving me behind to be beaten in the Adirondacks that time Shake” Frylock said as he picked up a rock. Shake turned around and saw Mike holding a baseball bat and Carl holding a monkey wrench.

“You remember the time you put made that catapult and it launched a rock into my window Shake?” Mike said as he walked towards him. “Or the time you let me fall 2 stories while trying to get into my house during Christmas eve a few years back” Carl said as he stood next to Mike. “Ha ha ha ha! Come on guys you know that was a long time back you know just some friendly pranks and stuff” Shake said as he backs away from the three closing in on him. “Meatwad wrap around him and hold him still” Frylock ordered. “Okay” Meatwad said as he held Shake still. “No wait!” Shake shouted as Frylock, Mike, and Carl jumped on him and attacked with their weapons.

Two days later

Frylock, Meatwad, Carl, and Mike are in the Aqua Teens backyard. Frylock is at the grill cooking steaks, Meatwad is eating a hotdog, Mike is chewing on a cheese burger, and Carl is sitting in a lawn chair drinking beer while biting into his own burger every now and then. “This was a good idea Frylock” Meatwad said as he smiled at Frylock. “Yeah got to admit Fry man you really can cook a good burger” Carl said as he handed Mike a beer. “Well I think after that little incident a few days back we needed to kick back and relax a little bit” Frylock said. “I heard that buddy” Mike said as he sipped the beer Carl gave him. The door then opens and Shake comes out toothless and looking at the others. “How is that meat you’re eating?” he asked. “How’s that baby food Frylock’s got you gumming cup?” Mike asked while the others laughed silently.

“Glad you find it funny but I happen to enjoy this stuff” Shake said defiantly. He then looked at Carl and asked, “Hey Carl did you get that special flavored baby food I asked about?” “Oh you mean the prime rib flavor, yeah I got that for you Shake” Carl said as he held out a jar that was green. Shake quickly grabbed it and opened it and gulped it down only to suddenly spit it out. “Ah gross this isn’t prime rib its brussel sprouts” he said as he spit the food on the ground. “Ha ha ha ha! Sucker” Carl said as he lay back in his chair.