Sound of a Heart Breaking
By: Manna

…xOx…

She’s never felt so trapped in all of her life. It’s as if a stone wall’s been erected on every side, forcing her to stand completely still.

She hates it, this life, this nonexistence that everyone in Caelin seems to think is just the opposite. They tell her that she should be happy, that she should be having fun, that she should love silk dresses and fine jewelry and wine.

She doesn’t, though; she’s not a materialistic person.

But she has so much stuff, and that’s all it is, just stuff. Things she never asked for, but that she’s been forced to accept. Etiquette demands that she accept everything, doesn’t it? Gifts and barbed insults and backhanded compliments.

There was a time when she loved Caelin, but she’s growing to resent it.

She’s broken out of her thoughts by Kent, who’s turned the corner. He comes up short, startled by her sudden presence and the tears she knows he can see swimming in her eyes. She’s headed to another meeting, another game of fixing someone else’s life, another day that will leave her feeling even more worthless than the day before.

Before coming to Caelin, she believed in herself, but she’s starting to lose that hope.

All the formalities sting, because she knows that’s all they are. Nobody really thinks she’s a lady, but for Lord Hausen’s sake, they use it before her name, as if it’ll make her a lady, as if they hope it will change her into what she needs to—ought to—has to—be.

“Lyn…” he starts, but he quickly steels his gaze and snaps right back into the position of Knight Commander, a man without time for himself, let alone her. “Lady Lyndis.”

She thinks she feels her heart breaking.

“Are you all right, milady?” But his posture is stiff and he’s hiding the concern in his eyes behind a mask of respect.

Respect? She wants to laugh, but her throat closes up and she blinks furiously to try and push back the tears that threaten to spill down her cheeks. “I’m fine,” she says, the sound whispery and soft, the voice of a lady, not the Sacaen mongrel that she truly is.

She knows he wants to say something, wants to take her arm, her shoulder, her heart.

But he doesn’t do anything. He just stands there. “As you say.”

And that’s what hurts most of all.

…xOx…

Author Notes:

It had to be written.